Diclaimer: Yea, I don't own Lord of the Rings, and that makes me sad, but if you review it will make me EXTREMLEY happy! Please Review!
Ok, just reading over some of the chapters I realized I had a lot of gay hobbit jokes. I don't think Sam and Frodo are gay, but to clear things up and make sure I don't offend anyone, I am an activist for gay rights and if hobbits want to be gay, that's fine by me.
Chapter 7: Of hiking, not getting anywhere, and the IGNORED Hobbit!
The Fellowship are hiking through lands. The lands are covered in grass. Which is covered in snow. Which is covered in dirt. Which is covered in nuclear waste. Which is covered in an old folks home. Which is again covered in nuclear waste. Which is covered in solid chunks of poison. Which is covered in explosives! Better not let Denathor near here. Which is covered in the corpses of every bad actor and all politicos (not all dead). Which is then covered in moldy cheese. Which is covered in glue. Which is covered in rocks. The rocks are then covered in bombs. The bombs then denenate and self-implode. (Wheater that is actually possible I do not know.)
Lego walks with elven grace.
Acorn walks trying to be graceful.
Gimles walks and talks annoyingly to himself.
Merfy walks and examines a rock (note: all rocks are still self-destructive).
Fernando walks and looks around paranoid.
Sham walks staring at Fernando whispering to himself.
GoGolf trips.
Poppy points.
Bomby laughs.
GoGolf snorts and is crushed by a leaf falling form the Land of Trees With No Leaves, "PLEASE HELP ME!"
Fellowship and Hobbits2 walk away.
"Ohhh!" GoGolf had an anvil fall on him. (I know it's cliché but oh well) poisonous spider holding a bottle of vodka lands on him. "Oh! Vodka!!!" (You guess what he does with it....that's right! He poured out the vodka to "water" the plants and used the bottle as a telescope) "It's very...Blurry!"
"AHHHH! You FOOL! You dumped out... VODKA! MY PRESSSSIOUS!"- Poppy
"I never get any attention! Everyone's sooo Obsessed with Fernando and that Ring! No one cares about me! Look at me! Pay attention to me! Please!"- Merfy
Sham rushes to Merfy's side, "I know how you feel Merfykins. So many love Poppy and Mister Fernando they forget about old Sham and Merfy."
Merfy pushes him away...well, tries. "You have no idea how I feel! At least people acknnowledge your exsistance and make FUN of you! They don't even notice me! And NEVER call me Merfykins again! It's like I'm invisable to you people! I'M RIGHT HERE! I haven't put on the Ring! I'm standing right in front of you! Notice me! Please! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Has mental breakdown.
No one notices.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"- Merfy
"Hey Lego."- Acorn.
"Why do you speak of such horrid things?"- Lego
"It makes me sound all brave and king-gone-fearless-ranger like."- Acorn
"Ah, yes frogs can be unkind."- Lego
Master Frog falls from sky. "We are not UNKIND! We are simply MADLY evil! Mwhahahahahahahaha!"
"Yea!" The frog followers nod in agreement.
"I shall not be afraid!!!!!!"- Lego
"Oink!"- Frog
"Ahhhhhh! Hold me!" Lego jumps into Gimles arms!
"AHHHHH! He touched me! My skin burns!!! No touchy me elf!" Gimles drops Lego.
"YOU DWARF!"- Lego
"WOW! That was offensive!"- Gimles
"You didn't let me finish! STUPID!" Lego blows raspberry.
"Why do you speak such fowl things? You are truely from the dark lands of Mordor!" Gimles says not sarcasticly.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Notice Me!"- Merfy
"So you guys like the Beastie Boys?"- Acorn
"I do!"- Jared
The conversation suddenly stops.
"Please Acorn! Please!"- GoGolf
"For the last time NO!"- Acorn
"But I wanna!" GoGolf wines.
"I don't think you should kill yourself!"- Acorn
"I'll come back!"- GoGolf
"How do you know?"- Acorn
"Ummmmmmmmmmmmm…"- GoGolf
"So we shall go over the mountains!"- Acorn
"BUT...."- GoGolf
"NOTICE ME! WAHHH!" Merfy jumps off cliff, comes back,"Did you SEE that? I jumped off a cliff and came back!"
"WOW! I finally noticed..."- Fernando
"THANK YOU!"- Merfy
"That the ring is sparkly!"- Fernando
"AHHHHHH! YOU FORCES OF EVIL!" Merfy destroys office and tips over desk, stuff falls out.
"My MAPLE CANDY!" Bomby finds pile of crap.
Acorn takes out yo-yo and starts yo-yoing.
"WOW!" Gandy says enchanted and starts to drool.
"This is around Middle Earth!"- Acorn
Gandy nods and is oddly interested.
"And this is walk the orc!"- Acorn
"Umm hmm." said Gandy with his interest growing and gets wacked in the nose by yo-yo.
"And this," Acorn said with random pause, "is Balrog's cradle!"
"B...A...L...R....O...G! AHHHHHHHH!" Gandy runs around screaming, bumbs into Merry who is also running around screaming, doesn't notice and continues running until he trips over beard.
"You just fell over me you Old Parinoid Ancient Old Wizard who's Old, Idiot! Ahhhhhh!"- Merfy
"Old Mushrooms! Yea!"- Poppy
Merry: What? NO! That's not what I said at all Selective Hearing Boy!
Poppy: Follow the Yellow Mushroom Path! Follow the Mushroom Cheese Path!
"Mushrooms Mushrooms Mushrooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooms!" Sham said w/ an ear shattering high pitched noise.
Everyone covers ears.
Sham's lungs explode, somehow repair themselves, explode again and come back again.
"Selective Hearing Boy to the rescue!" Poppy puts on cape, takes herioc pose, flies, falls, and flies.
"No one knows me! No one loves me! AHHH! My life is meaningless!"- Merfy
"Isn't that a scene from something?"- Chloe
"You heard me!"- Merfy
0.o "What?"- Everyone
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"- Merfy
Fernando tries to skip backwards and falls.
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Hello to all who hath read my story! Yea! By the by, I actually tripped when trying to skip backwards! I recently learned how to skip! Yea! I know it's taken me a long time to finish that chapter but every time i went to write it I got...distracted. But Please Please Review!
