This was updated a lot faster than chapter 7 because the night I finished that I got an idea for this and then the next day in school...I got rather bored...so here's chapter 8. I much regretted the way I ended chapter 6 because right after I finished it I got to the part in the book where they were at Rivendell and I found a whole bunch of more stuff to make fun of! Oh well, I guess it was enough to have them there for 4 CHAPTERS!
In this chapter and perhaps in others there is a guest-reviewer appearance under request. I may allow a few more surprise appearances but I am really trying to limit the people who don't actually belong in Middle Earth. Although it does add a bit more Random humor! Soooo now that I hath bored you with that message let the Randomness begin...dun dun dun....
Disclaimer: Ok I know mt other disclaimers were long and obnoxious so I decided to make this one short and sweet (cough) (twitch)
I do not...
Random Person in a box: We interrupt this disclaimer to bring you a very British conversation:
"Ello Mate"
"Well ello there old chum"
"Oh Bloody Hell!"
"Whut is it Mate?"
Some buggar stole me Lucky Charms"
gasp "You eat bloody Lucky Charms?"
"Yes but some bloody buggar stole me bloody charms"
"Open the bloody window Mate"
"There's blood on the window! Ahh! (runs toward window) AHHH!
"I guess the bloody window was open ay mate? Mate? (looks out window) (sees body on ground twitching)
Lepercan from Lucky Charms bursts in. "There magically delicious" (falls mysteriously out of window)
(random eyes roll suspiously)
own Lotr.
(P.S. No offence to British readers intended. I know that's not really how you talk but reality must sometimes be given up for the sake of humor)
Chapter 8: Of Arguments and GoGolf Bashing
The Fellowship are sitting down in a patch of grass surrounded by lots of other grass in a very grassy sort of place where grass grows very grassily. They are eating their evening meal of lombas when:
"Poppy, do you know you're chewing with your mouth open?"-GoGolf
"Do you know you're old?" Poppy chews with mouth open.
"Do you know you're short?"- GoGolf
"Do you know you're old?"- Poppy
"Do you know you're high?"- GoGolf
"Do you know you're falling?"- Poppy
"What?"- GoGolf
"Shove!" Poppy pushes GoGolf out of glass bottom boat, jumps onto a stage and does dance. "Ta da!" Tips hat, has roses thrown at him, gets pricked by thorn, bows and leaps off stage bumping into Lego.
GoGolf
appears out of ground and soaking wet and dragging a care bear
pulling on his robes.
"FOOL OF A..."
"Give me a Care Bear Hug!"-Care Bear
GoGolf whips out staff, turns around, as he does the care bear moves because he is clinging to the back of his robes, (he looks rather like a dog chasing it's tail) "Ahh! Who said that? Evil fiend!" Blows up part of the ground.
"I love you!"- Care Bear
"Ahh! Do not speak of love! As a member of The Old Men Who Hate Everything About Anything Club (better know as T.O.M.W.H.E.A.A.) I am forbidden to feel, speak, or hear anything related to love or deep emotion that isn't hatred!"- GoGolf
"I want another Care Bear Hug!"- Care Bear
"Ahhh!" GoGolf runs around like a dog chasing it's tail that will never catch it.
Poppy rolls on ground pointing and laughing hysterically.
GoGolf stops chasing his unseen fiend. "BITCH!"
Hype springs out the bushes bouncing on a pogo stick.
"Our tops are made out of rubber!
Our bottoms are made out of springs!
The best thing about being a tigger is
I'm the only one!
Whooooo!"
"Ah! Are you ANOTHER fangirl?"- Lego
Hype still bouncing in pogo stick. "No! I like bashing you better!"
Lego stunned. "But...but...LOVE ME!" Kneels on ground and starts a dramatic scene. "Why! Why won't you love me?"
"My work here is done!" Hype bounces over cliff but springs back up because of pogo stick. "Ahem, My work here IS done!" Tries again, springs back up, "MY WORK HERE IS DONE!" This time doesn't jump over cliff just springs into the air until hit by a balloon and they sour up together until...
"I want a hat."- Fernando
"Here you go Mr. Fernando." Sham hands him a pair of underwear.
"EWWW!" Fernando makes girlish hand movements. "Get them away!"
"They're YOUR underwear!"-Sham
"Sham, what were you doing with my underwear?"- Fernando
"You...forgot...them..."- Sham
Everyone save Sham stares frightened.
Sham: stares back embarrassed tries to bury himself Umm would you help me Mr. Fernando?
"Ok, only if you promise to give me my things and please don't steal anymore of my PERSONAL belongings! Like the ring!" Fernando holds up ring.
"Yes Mr. Fernando."- Sham
"That sounds like a threat to me! Ahh! Attack him Hooded Man!"-Fernando
"My name..." dramatic pause "...is Acorn."- Acorn (Pause is there because of thing in Matrix)
"No! Now Hooded Man!"- Fernando
"Acorn!"- Acorn
"Hooded Man!"- Fernando
"Acorn!"- Acorn
"Hooded Man!"- Fernando
"Acorn!"- Acorn
"Hooded Man!"- Fernando
Acorn: Acorn!"
"Hooded Man!"- Fernando
"Acorn!"- Acorn
"Acorn!"- Fernando
"Right!"- Acorn
"What?"- Fernando
"Poke!"- Acorn
"Ah! He touched me!" Fernando twitches fiercely.
Acorn: Fernando Chill!
"Chill! Cold! Freezing! Snow! Melting! Sunshine! Warmth! The Shire! Flowers! Sham! Gardening! Tag! Tig! Poppy! Merfy! I forgot to feed my dog! Water! Drink! Thirst! Gagging! Dying!"- Fernando
"No! Here's some water Mr. Fernando!"- Sham
"Do...you...have...my...blankie?"- Fernando
"The blue one?"- Sham
"How many blankies do you think I have?"- Fernando
"26."- Sham
"OOOOO! Riiiiiight!"- Fernando
Poppy spitting out food while talking. "I...am...trying...to...eat here!"
"Who's stopping you?"- Merfy
"YOU!"- Poppy
"No I'm not!"- Merfy
"You're bugging me!"- Poppy
"How?"- Merfy
"See!"- Poppy
"NO!"- Merfy
Poppy covers both their eyes. "Now?"
"Yes! I see it so clearly now! You're a....an...a...."- Merfy
"He's a Fool of a Took!"- GoGolf
"What's with all the name calling?"- Disembodied voice
Fellowship starts pointing and screaming at each other.
"Shut up you Idiots!"- Disembodied voice
Fellowship shuts up.
"Ok then. Now each of you calmly tell me why there is all this name calling."- Disembodied voice.
"'Tis a wise voice of old."- GoGolf
"Like you but actually wise?"- Poppy
Lego shoots arrow at disembodied voice.
"You shall pay!"- Disembodied voice
Wind Blows fiercely.
"Soooo..."- Lego
Hurricane starts.
"And..."- Lego
A bolt of lighting strikes his bow which spontaneously combusts.
"Nooooooo! I've had that bow since I was born! I raised it from a slingshot! Nooooo! My Preciosssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!!!"- Lego
Everyone stares.
"I'm still here."- Disembodied voice
Everyone stares into space.
Someone falls out the sky in the background.
No one notices.
"Have you noticed wee haven't gotten anywhere in DAYS?"- GoGolf
Poppy pokes GoGolf's nose, pokes GoGolf's staff, yanks GoGolf's hair andchops of GoGolf's beard.
GoGolf's Beard grows back immediately.
"BUZZ!" GoGolf zaps him.
Poppy transforms back into a hobbit. (recall that in earlier chapters he had been turned into a pig)
It starts to rain.
"My old old friend is right. We must through the Misty Mountains!"- Acorn
"You mean through the Mines of Moria!"- GoGolf
"The Misty Mountains!"- Acorn
"The Mines of Moria!"- GoGolf
"Mountains!"- Acorn
"Mines!"- GoGolf
"Mountains!"- Acorn
"Mines!"- GoGolf
"Slide!"- Acorn
"What?"- GoGolf
"You're Old!"- Acorn
"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! Thump!"- Disembodied voice.
LissewenLuinWilwarin: Thanks for reviewing! I love your stories! Randomness rocks!!!!! WEE! Hyperness is good!!!!
Karvain: Yes, I am glad Wubbem hath left! Yes, I, Daffidil Flower of Infinate Darkness am a rather SLOW typer but you must bear with me dear friend! For if we fail to alline together than the Dark Lord will cover all the world in Shadow! Ahhhh!
Hyperacticeforever: I love your screen name! I know that yours was a rather quick appearance but perhaps you can come back later and we can bash the government together! Yea! Down with The Man!
