Author's notes & stuff: Sorry for the lack of author's notage in the last chapter. I'm still learning the controls and stuff. I'm glad people gave me reviews (Yay! A one-word review!). These would be appreciated; oh, and by the way, this chapter is barrels more fun than the last one was. ;) We're getting some action in, which you'll see plenty more of in this fic. Battle scenes rock.

Chapter Two

Freaky Fondue & Mad Magikoopa

Mario and Luigi, who were now essentially two balls of lard, were face-to-face with an enormous steaming vat of fondue. Steam rose from the cheesy pit of death, along with sumptuous cheddar smells. But the superstar siblings had not time to think of this now, or they, too, would be melting like the cheese.

Mario screamed, "You're-a crazy! You can't drop us into that!"

"Oh, but we can, you fink-ratso-fatso! You will soon become the delicious meatballs in the yummy cheese fondue which Cackletta and I have turned up to full heat to boil and burn you with!" Fawful gleefully rubbed his hands together. He sucked some of the fondue up with his headgear (10), let it flow into a bowl, and offered it to the elder brother, who refused to take it.

"Suit yourself, fool," said the lackey, who then walked off with Cackletta to add some more heat to the vat in the next room.

"Luigi, how are we going-a to get out of this one?" Mario yelled. "I can't use my super jumping powers to do anything when I'm this fat!"

Luigi showed no reaction. He was shivering and shaking, too dismayed to say or do anything.

"Oh, Luigi, come on, think," Mario pleaded. The fondue was obviously getting hotter, as more and more steam began to cloud the room.

"I can't... we-we're about to be boiled alive!"

"Okay, just... just tell me everything you know about Swell Mushrooms!"

"All right, I know they're green."

"Yeah?"

"And they taste good."

"Yeah?"

"And they make your body size increase by releasing a chemical which sort of turns your fat into a sponge and makes it expand."

"Yeah? Oh wait, that's it! So you mean-a they don't add to your body fat, just make it expand?"

"Yeah! A mushroom that small couldn't increase your body fat by more than half a percent! A heavy gas is just spreading apart the fat by making it less dense, like water does to a sponge."

"Gas... gas. So... if we get rid of this gas, then our body size will return to normal?" (Author's note: None of this actually makes sense, it just sounds cool.)

"Yeah, but how are we going to do that?"

Mario looked around the sweltering room. He spotted the bowl that Fawful had left sitting on the edge of the vat of fondue and snatched it up. He drank greedily from the small bowl, leaving more or less an equal portion for his brother.

"What's fondue going to do?"

Mario had no time to explain, as Cackletta and Fawful were returning. "Just eat it!" he cried, lobbing the bowl to his brother. What happened next was very sickening, very odd, and just plain unlucky for everyone.

Mario's toss of the bowl to Luigi couldn't have been crappier. It had landed directly in the middle of his stomach and didn't roll off, it was just balancing there. The younger brother was wrenching all the energy from his body into his arms trying to get the bowl, but he could not. His fingers just missed it.

Mario took a stab at helping his brother. He reached for the bowl with his own weak arm and... he wasn't even close. He would have to turn himself to get to it. So he began to rotate by using his hands to pull him forward, his gloves making squeak squeak noises on the metal food cart.

But all in all, Mario wasn't making any progress. Every time he heaved himself forward, his body moved about an inch. He felt so much heavier than he really was... he wasn't used to this size.

Cackletta opened the door into the kitchen again. "Eeyah ha ha! You brothers are going to..." She did a double take as she saw what they were doing. "What on earth...? Are you hungry for the fondue? Oh, don't worry... you'll have plenty of it in time! EEYAH HA HA!"

Fawful stood right behind her. "Oh, so you have now decided to eat the fondue that you refused to eat in the early stages of my giving? Well, I will be a nice man and let you enjoy the mouth-wateringly cheesy yumfulness which is the Cackletta & Fawful Fondue!" He pushed the bowl forward until it landed, with a splatter, in Luigi's face.

"Lick the bowl!" Mario hissed.

Luigi followed his directions and slurped up what he could of the food. They should read a cookbook. This fondue is way too watery, he thought.

"And now comes the fun part." Cackletta had in her hands a sort of remote. She pointed to the ceiling, where Mario and Luigi looked up towards. Above them was a clawlike crane that reminded Luigi of one of those stuffed-animal-grabbing arcade games. They were such a gyp, but this time Cackletta and Fawful were going to win the prizes.

The claw lowered, then opened up to fit the gargantuan brothers inside. Once it had grabbed hold of them, it positioned itself over the cheese pit.
"Goodbye," the old witch said, then pressed the EJECT button on the remote.

There was an explosion right then and there. It caught everyone by surprise, and the cause of it was not the crane malfunctioning: it was the Mario brothers' bottoms. They had both let out devastating farts, which were now propelling them around the room as if they were deflating balloons.

"What in the name of-"

Cackletta had no time to utter any more words. The brothers were literally bouncing off the walls, moving at a shocking speed. They were coming right at her! She dove underneath the kitchen countertop, Fawful at her rear.

"Move, let me into the space where I will have safety!" Fawful cried.

"I can't, there's not enough room for you!"

Fawful glared. "Well, maybe you should take a weight loss program!"

"YOU LITTLE-"

Luigi's shrinking stomach skimmed the fondue as he rebounded, splashing drops of it onto Cackletta.

"MY EYES! MY STUPID EYES! OHH, IT HURTS! FAWFUL, GET ME SOME WATER! HEEEELLLLLP!"

Cackletta was rampaging through the kitchen, crashing into just as much stuff, if not more, as the brothers were.

"This is fun!" Mario let out a whooping laugh as he collided and ricocheted off of Fawful, who was crushed against the wall. He slid off, moaning.

"HURRY UP, FAWFUL! WHERE'S THAT WATER? I NEED IT RIGHT NOW! WHERE'S THE STINKIN' SINK? WHERE? WHE-"

Cackletta had found the stinkin' sink. She groped blindly for the handles, found them, and turned the cold water to full blast. Unfortunately, the sink was old, and it wasn't working quite the way it was supposed to. It burst, sending a shower of water into the air. Like a fire hydrant, water jetted across the room, splattering the walls and everything around it. The faucet flew right off and hit Cackletta in the face, CLANG! She fell over but regained her sight.

"Uggh... OH MY GOODNESS! I DIDN'T NEED THAT MUCH WATER! NO! NO! NO!"

The pipes where the sink used to be were rusty and old. They gave way, too. The room became nothing but river rapids. The fondue pot was soon filled to the brim with liquid other than fondue.

Mario and Luigi had almost finished their flying quest, but not yet. They bounced one last time against the wall, then flew out of the restaurant through a window and onto the grassy ground. They were back to normal!
Meanwhile, Cackletta and Fawful tried in vain to turn the water off. It sprayed the crane, which happened to be powered by an electric generator.

"D-do you hear those zapping noises, Miss Cackletta?" Fawful was staring helplessly at the generator.

"I DON'T CARE! HELP ME FIND THE- what are you looking at...?"

Cackletta turned to the electric generator and then screamed as it became engulfed in huge flames and flying sparks.

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

The Pianta Pizza Parlor exploded, sending water, fondue, debris, and a shower of pizza ingredients onto the land surrounding it, including Mario and Luigi. As they watched the structures of the building collapse and burn, Mario said, "Hey! The pepperoni-a landed here!"

Kammy got up the next morning with an atrocious headache. She had gotten absolutely no sleep the previous night, and all she wanted was just a trifle of rest, but NO! Bowser was doing something extremely noisy in the next room. She stomped into his room to tell him off.

"Your Evilness, must you make so much noise? I'm very tired."

Bowser was typing on his Koopa Komputer, not listening.

"Oh, what are you doing now?" The witch was mildly interested like she had been the other day.

"I'm starting Step Two of my plan," the Koopa King replied. "'Making invitations.' Sorry about the racket... this gosh-darn printer makes a whole lot of it."

"I can help you... where's the guest list?"

"It's over there, on my bedside table."

Kammy strolled over and causally picked up the list. She took a quick look at it. "Holy Goomba's feet!"

Bowser called back to her, "So, impressed?"

"Well, yes," she said. "I didn't know we knew this many people." She looked up. "Er, but is it really even necessary to invite all of them?"

"Hey, the more the merrier. Not to mention the better odds that we'll be able to beat that stinking plumber."

"The odds that he'll win are a million to none, with all these."

"Mm-hmm. Exactly. Well, I'm up to Kamek. Why don't you lay down in another room?"

"Not a bad idea. Good luck."

Kammy left and walked into one of the hallways. This plan was really going to work. And goodness, was her master living up to the evil Koopa name. She bumped into Bowser's son, who he and most other people affectionately called Junior.

"Oh, hey, B-Junior. What's up?"

"Papa woke me up with all of his typing and printing. It's really getting on my nerves. I mean, I know about his ingenious plan n'all, but jeez!" Bowser Jr. rolled his eyes.

"I was going to take a nap, but hey, I'm up, so let's get some breakfast."

"Okay!"

After navigating their way through the enemy-and trap-filled walkways, they arrived at the kitchen, which was just as dreary and made out of stone as any other room. The only sources of light were flame torches that lined the walls. As they entered, Bowser Jr. went straight for the Fruity Goomba Puffs, while Kammy headed in the direction of the newspaper which was always dropped off by a machine in the morning.

"Ah, Mushroom Times, how I love you," she whispered dramatically.

She picked it up and began to hate the paper immediately. The cover headline was all she needed to see to have fury burning in her eyes.

Mario Brothers Save World From Fondue Doom.

She read the article and began to shout at the paper like many people do when angry at a columnist or writer.

"What're you so angry about, Aunt Kammy?" (Author's note: This is a term of affection; she's not his actual aunt.) Bowser Jr. looked curious.

"Look at this!" She practically shoved the newspaper into his face.

"WHAT? Cackletta and Fawful got 'rested? But I thought the whole Swell 'Shroom thing would work!"

"I did too," Kammy said, still fuming. She ripped the paper out of Bowser's son's hands and threw it into one of the flame torches. It burned to ashes immediately.

"That's it," roared Kammy. "I've had it with these obnoxious brothers. This plan will not fail! WE WILL RULE THIS WORLD!"

Three days later, the Koopa line had all the invitations made and sent out, the various party materials bought, and everything set up. Kammy had been so angry about her best friend Cackletta losing to the siblings that she had ordered every single troop in the castle to pitch in.

Kamek the Magikoopa was having a great morning. The sky was black, it was raining, and he had just got to the good part of Advanced Spells and Chants, the book he had bought yesterday.

He went out to get the mail in his blue plaid pajamas, not caring if he got wet (which was quite obviously unavoidable). He opened his mailbox to find a very specially decorated letter with horns and orange and black coloring... and some bills.

"13 Koopa Lane... oh, I wonder who this is from," joked Kamek to himself as he moseyed back to his house, rain splashing and forming puddles around him.

After he got inside, he closed the door, ripped open the letter, and began to read:

Come to BOWSER'S BADDIE BASH!

We will watch movies, eat food, and best of all, come up with plans to kill all of our nemesis, Mario! Then, we carry out these plans and the world is ours! Let's have fun!

Date: Fire Flower 16

Time: 09:00

Place: Bowser's Castle

Get ready for evil fun!

RVSP: 136-1313

"I'm definitely going to this," said Kamek, intrigued. He wondered who else was coming? He called up his friend, Magik, who was Bowser's third favorite Magikoopa minion, to find out if she was going or not.

"Hello, Magik?"

"Oh hi, Kamek! It's nice to hear from ya! What's up?"

"I was wondering if you were thinking about going to Bowser's party over the weekend. Are you? Because I know that I am, I mean, it sounds like a bunch of fun..."

"What party?"

"You don't know about the Mario-hating party?"

"No."

"You mean... you didn't get an invitation?"

Magik's voice grew a little hurt. "Does it sound like I got an invitation? Nope, I got nothing. Nada. Nil. Zilch invitations."

"Oh... oh well."

"What do you mean 'oh well'? Are you saying he didn't want me in the party?"

Oh, great. Magik's getting agitated, and every time she gets agitated, she overreacts and does something stupid. Really stupid.

"Hello? Kamek? Why aren't you talking? Do you hate me just like Bowser and everyone else does? KAMEK?"

Kamek tried frantically to soothe his angry friend. "No, no, not everyone hates you... I'm pretty sure that-"

Magik's sanity strings were snapping. "So not everyone hates me, just most people, is that what you're saying? Is it? IS IT?" She was screaming heatedly now.

"Calm down... Bowser probably just forgot about you."

Directly after saying this, the poor Magikoopa realized that he had made a fatal mistake. He winced and held the phone a few feet from his ear as Magik flew into an infuriated rage.

"OH, SO I'M JUST SOME FORGETTABLE LOSER WHO NO ONE REMEMBERS OR CARES ABOUT? JUST A GOOMBA ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD WHO YOU CAN STEP ON? NO, I DON'T THINK SO! BOWSER WILL REGRET NOT INVITING ME TO HIS PARTY AFTER I'M THROUGH WITH HIM!" Click. Dead line.

"Oh, crap." Kamek said what he thought out loud. It was never good when Magik was angry like this... because the last time it happened, oh boy was that not good. A flashback came to the Magikoopa as he sat there...

"Come on, Kamek, honey, you're going to be late!" Kamek's mother called a small, boyish-faced Magikoopa as he stood at the top of the stairs getting into his sorcerer's clothes.

"No I'm not, Mom. I wouldn't be a minute late for Magik's birthday party if my life depended on it!" The little Kamek finished putting his hands through his sleeves and raced down the stairs to the door. He exited into the sunshine with his mother, who both walked down the street to Magik's house.

Magik's mother greeted Kamek's mother, and the two talked for a while (as mothers tend to do) until they were through. Magik's mother then took Kamek's present and put it on the present table.

"No one else is here yet?" Kamek asked.

"Nope, not yet. They're gonna come, though." Magik looked at the lone present. "Hey, whaddja get me?"

"I'm not telling."

"Oh, come on."

"No!"

The two little villains-in-training ran around the yard, chasing and tickling each other. Soon, more and more partygoers came and they all played tag.

"How cute," Magik's mother said as they played.

Then it was time for the present-opening, which, of course, Magik thought was the best part.

She first opened the present from Kamek. "A Level Two Spell Kit! I can learn new Magikoopa spells! Cool! Thanks, Kamek." The little girl hugged her best friend.

Next was a Magikoopa hat (red, Magik's favorite color), a new Magikoopa robe (also red) and then several other presents up until the last one. It was given by a little boy named Ikoop. Magik had always had a crush on Ikoop.

Magik enthusiastically opened her final present. It was a magic wand, and a red one, two, with glitter covering it. It was pretty, but only to a kid.

"Ikoop... a brand-new magic wand... for me? You shouldn't have!" She went to hug him, but he dodged her.

"Oh, no, I really think I needed to. Here, watch, I'll show you how to use it."

And he picked up the wand, said "Magikoopa Magic!" and swung it with vigor.

"Okay!" Magik grabbed the wand from her crush. She then tried it herself.

"Magikoopa Magic!" As she swung the wand, it burst open, splashing sticky mushroom juice all over the young girl's new robe and hat. A note also popped out, saying, You're a loser and I'll never love you.

Magik gazed down at the note, then at her robe and hat. Her lip quivered miserably, and not soon after, she began to bawl her eyes out. She then, crying, roared, "You'll pay for this!" and wrenched her real magic wand from her pocket.

"Ha, it's not as if a dorky pimple-face like you could ever learn real magic, much less use it!" Ikoop laughed cruelly.

She swung her magic wand powerfully, said an incantation she had heard her father use before, and then the horror began.

Magik's house turned into a huge, monstrous Blarrg. (12) It roared, hot lava dripping from its mouth. The kids ran and screamed; the grass was incinerated before the lava even touched it.

But Magik wasn't done yet. She was so angry, so full of fury, that she grabbed Ikoop and tried to push him into the Blarrg's hot, sticky drool.

"No, Magik!" Magik's mother rushed forward.

"NO ONE LIKES ME!" Magik had cried, pushing Ikoop to the ground... and to the lava.

Kamek stopped his reminiscing. Ikoop badly burned his hand (yes, only his hand had fallen into the puddle of lava) in that incident, but he could have died.

Kamek did not want this to happen again, especially to the child he took care of, Bowser! He would have to take drastic action to stop her. If Magik could cast such powerful spells then, what could she do to Bowser now?

"Well, I guess-a we really took care of them, eh, Luigi?" Mario said, watching television at the brothers' house.

"Why are you asking me this now, bro? It happened three days ago!" Luigi was making lunch for himself: a salami and ground mushroom sandwich.

"We're on Channel 14's special," Mario said.

"Oh. What? Really?" Luigi looked excited. "They never told us they were going to do a segment on us."

"They didn't need to. What were we going-a to say? No?" Mario snorted. "We're on the news enough already."

"What's it about?"

"Uh... us."

"Yeah, but what are they showing?"

"Oh, that's-a what you mean. Sorry, I'm a bit slow today due to the rain."

Luigi looked out the window. It was pouring. "Jeez, the rain's still not letting up. Hmph. So, what were you saying it was about?"

"They're-a doing a Mario and Luigi Through the Years sorta thing. See, look, that's-a us saving Queen Bean." The elder brother pointed to the television.

"Oh, that was fun."

"Don't lie, you-a were scared as heck."

"You're right, but don't say you weren't. That Belly Blech Worm (13) was creepy."

"I know, it was-a really creepy." Mario said. He slapped his brother on the back. "Hey, that sandwich-a looks awful good. I think I'll make-a one too. Let's go watch ourselves."

Mario and Luigi unsuspectingly ate sandwiches, knowing absolutely nothing about the event which would bring them into their biggest adventure yet.

FREAKY FONDUE & MAD MAGIKOOPA/END

More author's notes: Hope you enjoyed the Mario Bros./Cackletta scene. I certainly loved writing it. Tell me what you think of the chapter, please! I'm a new fanficcer (that's not a word, is it- oh well) and I need encouragement to keep my train going. I THINK I CAN... woo woo! I THINK I CAN...  The plot starts to develop in the next chapter, so GET PUMPED! ROOOOAR! (What the hell?)