Author's notes: Sorry for the later-than-usual update; I bought Paper Mario. Yes, the original. I played the second before I ever played the first, and so many people loved it, so I thought "WHAT THE HEY?" Whipping out the old N64 brought back memories... ahh... Well, what am I rambling about this for? It has NOTHING to do with my story! JEEZ! Okay, I was just wondering: do I write long chapters or something? I saw a story with 10,000 words and 13 chapters. My story had 7,800 words and 2 chapters. (I'm trying to write this book-style, with long chapters...) Are they TOO long...? Ahh, whatever. I'll shut up now. Read, please, NOW!

Chapter Three

Tricky Thieves

Magik slammed the door to her quaint cottage, taking the advice her therapist had given her: Whenever you feel a lot of stress, try to walk it off. And so she began her walk, her stride a stomping mass of anger. As she passed by a clump of Super Mushrooms, she crushed them with her foot. They reminded her of Mario, who she hated, which reminded her of all the different villains who also hated him, which reminded her of Kamek being one of them, which reminded her that he got invited to the darn party and she didn't. So she crushed them, dug them into the ground with her boot, and laughed maniacally. She pretended they were Bowser's stupid face! She grinded them harder. But this didn't help, because she knew that mashing a few helpless mushrooms that she was pretending were an evil king would not get her an invitation to the party.

The bushes that surrounded the former mushrooms looked appalled (this was not out of the ordinary, as nearly everything, including flora, has eyes in the Mushroom Kingdom). They simply looked away, but if they could have backed up and whistled, they would have done so.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay?" Magik cried, stomping her foot. Then she just laughed. How ridiculous can I possibly get? Talking to BUSHES? But then again... they could be my only friends. I can't help it if I get a little emotional sometimes. Why does everyone ignore me?

She was close to crying. Oh, she was being so stupid. Getting bent out of shape about everything yet again, YET AGAIN.

It's not just that Bowser didn't invite me to the party. I only want someone who can understand me when I'm feeling like this. Kamek only worries that I'll do something dangerous. I just want someone I can confide in...

Magik heard giggling behind her. She turned around, and saw a group of Toads, little girls, whispering and pointing at her.

"That's the crazy witch lady I was telling you about," one of them said.

The poor Magikoopa's anger exploded. She hadn't been this upset before in her life, and tried to restrain from doing anything hazardous. She couldn't believe it. Everyone really did hate her. Even little girls thought she was a kook; Bowser forgot about her, Kamek was uptight, everyone else didn't give diddly-squat. Magik burst into a shower of tears... she ran down the street, sobbing and sprinting to nowhere. She had nowhere to go, no friends... no one.

Out of nowhere, she had an insane thought: Why should I just teach Bowser a lesson? Why not EVERYONE? They all hate me anyway, it's not as if this will matter! I'll turn them all into SLUGS!

Now she was laughing, crying and running. Until...

"Excuse me, ma'am, are you okay?"

She kept going- wait, whoa, nelly! Who in the world was this? Magik had never heard a voice like this before: it calmed her down, made her feel much better. The voice had floated to her like melodious poetry. She stopped, and realized she had ran to an almost deserted bus stop.

"Ma'am? Why are you crying?" Magik looked down to see who was talking to her. It was a boy in overalls, sitting on the bench: no, not a Toad, just a regular Mushroomian. His blue, crystallike eyes had sympathy in them.

"Oh, I'm- I'm sorry, little boy. Did I frighten you...?" She knew his answer right away. Yeah, 'cause you're a crazy witch!

However, she "knew" his answer wrong. "No... I wanted to know if you were all right. You look really sad or mad about sumthin'."

"Uh... no, I'm just out for a run." Oh, what a stupid thing to say!

He got up off the bench, pointed at her tear-streaked face, and said, "But you've been crying. Here, lemme help." He took out a rag from his pocket and wiped her face.

"Thanks."

"Hey, that's a cool hat. Are you a Magikoopa from the Koopa Kingdom?"

"Why, yes... you know about us Magikoopas?"

The boy looked enthusiastic. "Yeah, 'course I do! You guys go after that Italian plumber, Mario. You should kick his butt!"

Magik patted the boy's head, and they both sat down on The Mushroom Bus bench. "We want to, but we've been having a bit of trouble."

Strangely, the boy changed the subject. "Er... can you answer my question from before?

"What's that?"

"...Why were you crying...?"

"Oh. Um... why do you ask?"

"'Cause... 'cause I cry a lot too. My mommy says if you talk to other people, it helps."

This little tyke was being so sweet to Magik. She felt as if this was the one she had been asking for, even if he was a bit young. The one she could talk to, no matter what. His angelic voice alone had calmed her down.

"I... feel like everyone hates me." Why was she talking to this child like he was a therapist?

The boy gasped. "That's the same thing as me!"

Magik was quite shocked. "What could anyone have against a charming little man like you?"

The boy looked down. "I can't make any friends at school. They always say, 'Your father's a nutty old professor, and we don't wanna hang around with you.'"

The tone in his voice made Magik angry. Not at him, but at everyone else again. Everyone had rejected him, too.

"Well, maybe you should... try to find someone who will be nice."

The boy shook his head. "No. They all don't like me. Sometimes they play mean pranks on me. I want revenge, but I don't think that's the right thing to do. They splashed mushroom juice on me and called me a loser."

A flashback swirled through Magik's mind. The mushroom juice. The note. That jerk, Ikoop.

"Who says revenge isn't the right thing to do?"

Any sensible adult would have taken back what they said right then and there, but Magik's emotions and that flashback had snapped her mind in two.

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm saying, why don't you get those jerks back for what they did to you?"

The boy gawked. "But my mom said..."

"Who cares what your mom said? She's delusional. What those kids did to you is inexcusable. You've probably made up a bunch of plans to fool them anyway."

"Plans... yeah, you mean like when I think of mean ways to get revenge on the bullies?"

"Yes, I do. You got any bubbling in your head, kid?"

"Actually, I have one right here." He pulled out a piece of paper.

"Ooh, organized vengeance," said Magik. She grabbed the paper and looked at it. "You... you need a spellcaster?

"Um, well, yeah. It's always been my dream to meet a Magikoopa. They're so neat, and they could help me get back at meanies!"

"You're looking at a Magikoopa right here! We'll take care of these bums." She and her newfound friend got up off the bench and began to discuss the plan, strolling off into the setting sun.

If Kamek were there, he would have had a heart attack. If he knew what was coming up next, he would have died. And for good reason.

At Bowser's Castle, everyone was quite bored and impatient. Kammy sat in her chair, tapping her foot.

"You know, we should have set this party for an earlier date," she said.

Bowser shrugged. "How was I supposed to know it was going to be this suspenseful and anticipated?"

Kammy squinted at Bowser. "Are you serious?"

"Well yeah, why?"

Bowser Jr. got his bottom off of the orange carpeting and walked over to his father. "Papa, you invented a plan that could eliminate Mario forever and you didn't think we would want it to happen soon? But... that's like everyone in the castle's main goal, especially yours an' mine!"

The Koopa King blushed, a bit embarrassed. "Er... well... maybe I should have scheduled it to be earlier. But they always say, anticipation is the best part."

Kammy slapped her hand to her forehead. "Not in this case! You realize who we're up against, right? ...Wait. Don't answer that. I might confuse you."

"WHAT? How dare you insult your master? I ought to-"

"I'm just eager to tear him to shreds, that's all! I can't forgive him for beating the crud out of Cackletta!"
Bowser nodded. "Well, okay, I admit I had a grudge on her after she possessed me, but I still expected her to win with that plan. Mario's always got tricks up his sleeve."

"Which is exactly why this should have come earlier. Making the party come later just gives Mario more time to figure us out. Gossip spreads quickly in this crazy place!"

Bowser admitted he had made a stupid mistake. "We won't be found out, though. I mean, it's not as if-"

CA-RAAAAAAAAAAASH! A huge sound of shattering glass, thumping, and a creature's roar came from the castle basement. The floor shook underneath the talking troublemakers.

"Wh-what was that, Papa?" Bowser Jr. bit his lip, looking frightened.

"I don't know. Just... hide under something!"

Everyone in the room picked a hiding place: Kammy, under Bowser's bed, Bowser, in his closet, and Bowser Jr. was just small enough to squeeze into a dresser drawer.

After about five minutes or so of strange noises from below, the chaos ceased.

Kammy and the Koopa King crawled out from where their places of shelter. However, Bowser's son wasn't so lucky as to have picked an uncramped one.

"HEEELLLP! I can't get out! I'm stuuuuck! Let me oooouuuut!" POUND. BANG. SLAM.

"Don't worry, B-Junior, I gotcha," said Kammy. She hustled over to the dresser, opened the drawer, and attempted to pull her junior master out. It didn't work.

Fifteen minutes and one tub of butter later, he was unstuck. Being a long process, the baddies had forgotten about the previous ordeal. Recalling it, Kammy brought up an obvious but intelligent question: "So, what in heck do you think that was?"

"I don't know," said Bowser. "Maybe we should go check it out." He shuddered, thinking about the possibilities. "Or, er, maybe not."

"I don't wanna go, that's for sure." Bowser Jr. declared this as if he and his friends were daring each other to sneak into a "scary old lady's" house.

"Oh, I'm glad you two are so brave. Especially since there might have been a bomb set down there. Kammy said this absentmindedly, then realized that what she had stated could actually be true. A fire was lit under the Koopa's arses.

The trio of villains dashed as fast as they could out of Bowser's room, up the hall, and down the flight of stairs to the cellar.

They searched around frantically for the source of the noise. Kammy found it. Bowser's "secret storage vault" had been torn open by something. The metal was literally peeled off like a banana peel and lay curled up on the stone floor.

"Okay, so there's no bomb, then. That's a relief. Just some idiot thieves." She poked the remains of the huge steel door.

The king walked into the vault. "Funny, you'd think thieves would take something when they broke in."

Bowser Jr. peeked in. "You mean nothing's missing?"

"Well, what I can see from a quick check, no. I'll have to search in detail to find out if something small was stolen. Now what's interesting is how this metal was ripped off. I wonder who or what could have done something like this."

Kammy's voice came from the other side of the room, barely audible and whimpering. "Erm... I know what could have."

"What?" Bowser looked at her, then gasped.

A giant, towering Koopa with a bill instead of a mouth that curved into a hook stood in front of Kammy. It didn't look happy, and it appeared that it was waiting for some sign of movement.

"Papa, I-I thought you caged Hookbill up after he lost to Yoshi!"

"Me too," murmured Bowser, stupefied. "Don't wor-"

Hookbill dove forward, and Kammy ran to the left to dodge the danger. She barely made it, then scrambled up a support pole for safety.

Hookbill bit the support pole in two. Kammy jumped off and ran to another one. The giant Koopa roared in anger.

"Kammy, stop! If he destroys all the support poles, the castle will collapse on top of us!" Bowser screamed frantically.

The frantic scream attracted Hookbill. It lumbered toward Bowser and his son.

"P-P-Papa, do something!"

"I can't! He's too strong!"

Kammy still made time for complaining, yelling, "Oh, pull yourself together, man! You're the Koopa King, you rule over this fatso scum! Do something kingly, puh-leeeease!"

"All right," choked out Bowser. "I'll try. STOP NOW! I ORDER YOU TO NOT ATTACK ME!"

Hookbill let a firey snarl fly from his throat. He sprinted toward the horned king, the basement floor shaking under his colossal weight.

"Oh, darn." Bowser grabbed his leg-clinging son and ran for the piece of curled metal. He swung it around in the monster's face.

But it was no good. Hookbill dodged every attempt at a blow that Bowser had.

"YOU STINK!" Kammy shrieked. "YOU CALL YOURSELF A BLOODY KING?"

The sound of a loud voice once again lured Hookbill. Kammy slid down the support pole and aimed a high tae-kwon-doe kick at his face.

Hookbill expected Kammy to be a weak old bat, but his head twisted almost three hundred sixty degrees around as his head and the witch's foot connected. He fell to the ground, tottering helplessly on his shell.

"That's his weak point!" cried Bowser. He dove in and performed his equivalent to Mario's Ground Pound, the Bowser Bomb. He slammed down on Hookbill's tummy, bouncing off. He had done absolutely no damage.

"Oof!" Bowser grunted as he landed on the ground. "Look's like good ol' Hookbill's gained more weight than I thought." As he said this, the gargantuan Koopa managed to get up.

"I guess that his bony head's the weak spot now," Bowser Jr. said. He whipped out his magic paintbrush (14) and drew a goop bullet. It flew towards Hookbill quite quickly, but the Koopa dodged it just as easily as he had the metal blows.

"Draw more of them, so he won't have a chance of getting away!" Kammy directed.

"Okay!" Bowser's son thrashed the paintbrush through the air, drawing about ten goop bullets. As before, they missed.

"Faster, faster!" The two others egged on Bowser Jr.

"Okay, going faster!" Twenty bullets were dodged.

"Make more!"
Bowser Jr. looked sadly down at the magic brush. "I can't do much more! I'm running out of paint!"

Kammy seized the brush and glowered at it. "It's a flippin' magic brush and it doesn't even have an UNLIMITED PAINT SUPPLY?"

"Well, no," said Bowser's timid son.

"That's it, no more Mr. Nice Guy!" Bowser charged forward at his own minion and jumped into the air.

"You were being Mr. Nice Guy in the first place?" Kammy shouted.

Bowser payed no attention and clawed his former minion across the chest. Unlike the other attempts, this one hit while doing considerable damage. Hookbill didn't even have a chance to move his toe before he was slashed, tripping and falling back into a shelf with Bowser's bowling trophies.

"My trophies!"

They started to fall. The Koopa King dove forward to save the precious golden victory symbols. There were too many to catch in his hands alone, which meant he had to balance some on his shoulders and head. He wobbled, concerned for his prizes.

"Ignore the trophies!" Kammy screeched. "He's getting back up!"

"But they're all first place!" whined Bowser.

He had missed one trophy. It was a small one which had been specialized to look like Bowser. It fell and snapped. The miniature head rolled to Bowser's foot.

"Wha-wha-wha-" Bowser bent down to the head and cupped it in the orange clawed hands that had won it. The rest of the trophies plummeted from their unstable resting places. A few more broke.

"This... was my FAVORITE ONE!" Bowser got up and roared in fury. "YOU WILL REGRET THIS, YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE HOOK-BILLED FREAK!"

Kammy's eyes widened. "Uhh... I didn't know His Surliness was so dedicated to bowling."

Bowser Jr. whispered back, "Well, he has to do something during the time he's not trying to take over the world."

Bowser grabbed Hookbill by his fat neck and slammed him hard against the wall. The King's mouth opened, and along with a long and deep exhale, fire streamed out. It cooked the giant Koopa until he was entirely black. Hookbill toppled to the ground and fainted.

"You go, Papa!" cheered Bowser Jr.

Bowser wasn't listening. He was sitting miserably in a corner, bottom lip trembling. He was putting the two pieces of the mini-Bowser trophy together again and again, expecting them to magically fuse. The misery almost loomed over his head in a dark rain cloud.

"Uh, maybe we should just leave him alone for now," said Kammy.

Peach and Toadsworth got back from the Mushroom Mall, carrying bags and bags of mostly useless junk out from the royal limousine. Most of it, of course, was the woman's.

"So, that was fun," Peach said, smiling. "I got plenty of new clothes to try on..."

Which I had to carry... thought Toadsworth.

"...But what I'm really looking forward to is one of the books I bought."

This wasn't a surprise. Peach loved to read, mostly the type of novels about some heroic hunk saving a damsel in distress and then the two going off on a wild adventure. The eldest Toad thought they were an utter yawnfest, but all the women these days in the Kingdom really liked them.

They reached the castle doors. Toadsworth opened one and held it for the Princess. She walked in, her shoes clicking.

As soon as Toadsworth came in, he dropped the bags. He looked down at them. Ah, he had the bag of books. He scanned over them. Dark Side of the Moon, The Stargazer, Ancient Mysteries of the Mushroom Kingdom Undergrounds.

He sighed. Then his head performed a double-take as he looked at the last book. He hadn't remembered buying this one, and the Princess... hmm. He picked the book up and started to page through.

"Hey, Toadsworth!"

"Oh, is something wrong, Princess? Did I forget one of your bags?"

"No, that's the book I was really looking forward to."

Toadsworth was perplexed. "Er, but..." He glanced at the cover again. "The Ancient Mysteries book?"

"Yes, that's the one. May I have it?"

"I thought you liked romance and adventure novels, not 'boring old history books.'" The butler gave Peach her book back.

"I usually don't, but I saw a special about these on television and it really interested me. It intrigues me even more because it's underneath the kingdom we rule over."

"Wow," said Toadsworth. "When you're finished, would you lend me that? I've always envied those researchers. They get to see some absolutely amazing footage. I mean, phenomenal. Sure, we can see it on TV, but they..."

Peach walked away, reading the book and avoiding Toadsworth's rambling.

Out one of the castle's windows, a shadow watched, eyes on the book.

By night, Peach had read half of it. She went to her dresser to put it away, then laid down in her pajamas and fell fast asleep.

THUMP.

The Princess awoke, groggy. She had heard a noise from the other side of the room. "What on earth...?" She started to reach for the light switch.

Her door creaked. Footsteps in the hallway.

Peach was nervous now, and drew back from the switch. Were there thieves in the castle? How could they get in so easily? Or maybe she was being stupid. It could have just been a Toad doing night housekeeping. Whatever the case, she went back to sleep in a flash.

The next morning, Peach went downstairs to have a bite of breakfast and watch Good Morning Mushroom Kingdom. Toadsworth and a few multicolored Toads were bustling about the kitchen, frying eggs and toasting bread.

"Good morning, Princess," they all said in unison, turning from their jobs.

"Umm... morning."

They went back to doing what they had been before except for Toadsworth, who came over to Peach to give her pancakes. "Sleep well?" he asked.

"Y-yeah, apart from when someone came into my room." Peach rubbed her eyes, hoping the eldest Toad would say something like, Oh, that was just me making sure everything was ship-shape.

But he did not. "Someone... in your room? That's very odd. Yesterday was the day all Toads took a break from night housekeeping."

The Princess froze. "Then... who...?" She rushed upstairs again to confirm that there were no thieves. After a bit of looking around, she had found nothing missing.

She examined the last place, the dresser. Everything was all rig-

"Where's my book?" cried Peach.

TRICKY THIEVES/END

Author's Notes: Hope you enjoyed that chapter. I wish more people would review, but I don't like to beg for reviews, ya know what I mean? It makes me more pathetic when I just go right out and say, "Hey, review my story! I want to know if I'm any good or not!" So, take your time reviewing. You catch my drift? COUGHREVIEWCOUGH Sorry, a little cigarette smoke's in the air. I don't like secondhand smoke, so I'm leaving. Over and out.

-SesshouMario