By Hikaru Hayashi

Hey, I'm back with more randomness. I must say, this chapter might be my personal fave.! I think this chapter's a gas! And you'll see why I have to change the rating. Anyway...

Disclaimer note: I don't own anything in this fic. I do not own Yugi Mutoh, Anzu Mazaki, Seto Kaiba, or anyone from Yu-Gi-Oh! And I do not own the name "Battousai", that belongs to Rurouni Kenshin, that it does!

Another note: I don't wish to confuse anyone, so here's a note for this chapter.

-Ryou's yami is "Bakura"

-Yugi's yami is "Yami" (duh...)

-Marik's yami is "Malik"

On with the madness!!

Chapter 3: Three Yamis in a Bar

Yami, after nearly having a brain meltdown watching Anzu-Battousai rampage Domino City, walked into a bar and sat down.

Little did he know, Bakura decided to dump his hikari for a night on the town, and just happened to be in the same bar. He sat at a table near Yami.

About ten minutes after that, Malik, who had just escaped a near death experience, walked into the same bar and sat a table near Bakura. The three yamis were oblivious to each other's existence.

So, Yami decides to order a drink. He goes up to the counter.

A few minutes later, Bakura is ready to order his drink. He walks up to the counter, where he notices Yami, who, by this point, is notices Bakura's existence as well.

Yami stared blankly at the white haired thief, then hiccups and says, "So what the heck are you doing here?"

Bakura, stunned by this, and obviously offended, replied, "I was just about to ask you the same thing!" He picks up his glass.

Yami, holding his glass, sighed and muttered, "Look, man. Hiccup! I am not in the mood right now, you hear me? Hiccup! Now, you just leave me alone, and all will be fine. Alright?"

Bakura puts his glass up to his face. "Hai," he responds, "as long as you don't bug me either."

Yami stared at his fellow yami for a while. Then he muttered, "Yah, okay. Hiccup! Whatever." He sipped his glass.

Bakura also sipped his glass. "Feh!" he grunted.

Ten minutes later, Malik had finally decided what he wanted and was ready to order his drink. He walked over to the counter, where notices Bakura, not too happy to see him, and Yami, also a bit unhappy to see him (and rather drunk...)

Bakura slammed his glass onto the counter and shouted, "What are you doing here Marik!!"

The bartender whispered, "Inside voices please..."

Of course, this rule obviously didn't apply to the drunken Pharaoh, who turned his head, hiccupped, and shouted, "Marik!!! (Hiccup!) Flip off!!!!"

This angered Malik. "I told you, you imbecile of a Pharaoh!" he shouted. "I'm Malik!! And, by Ra, you have some gall telling me to flip off!!!!"

Bakura felt a bit sorry for the both of them, yet there was that little flicker inside of him that wanted to beat that double-crossing cape-wearing freak named Malik into the ground. "Please forgive Yami," he started. "I believe he's had one glass too many. Anywho, I suggest you leave before this gets ugly."

Malik stood up, faced Bakura and said hotly, "Make me."

At this, Yami tried to stand up, but swaggered. "That..." he started, "...hiccup! was the last straw!" He tries to assault Malik. "You hiccup! You no good sonova—"

Bakura jumped up and attempted to restrain Yami. "You! Don't fight him!"

"Neh, heh heh...yes..." Malik cackled. "Don't fight me!"

The thief glared at Malik and declared boldly, "I want first crack at him!! This idiot owes me big!!"

"Money?" the bartender asked curiously while cleaning a glass.

Bakura turned his head at the bartender and snapped, "This doesn't concern you, foolish mortal!!"

The bartender went back to his own business. "I'll shut up..." he muttered.

Another dude standing behind the counter brought in Malik's drink.

"Hmph! Well," Malik started as he sat down. "It looks like I'll have to postpone your beating until I'm done with my drink." He sipped his glass.

However, Yami wasn't going to stand for that. "Oh, no you don't! Hiccup!" he said. "You won't get a way that easily! Hiccup!! C'mon and fight me, you coward!!!! Hiccup!!"

Bakura, on the other hand, decided to throw in the towel for the moment. He picked up his glass and sighed, "Yami, give it a rest..."

Yami fell backward onto his seat. "Grrrr!!" he growled. He picked up his fifteenth drink and downed the entire thing.

Two Hours Later!

The three yamis walk out of the bar.

Bakura, who was now pretty drunk, said, "Gee, Malik! Hiccup! I didn't know you were so cool!"

The tomb keeper's yami, also pretty drunk, just cackled and replied, "Ah, yes. I am very talented indeed. BUUUUUUURRRRRP!!"

Yami, probably the most drunk out of the three and swaggering while he walked, laughed. "Aha ha ha! Hiccup!! Nice one!!"

"Thanks," Malik replied. Then, he got an idea. "Hey, guys, why don't we all crash at my place for a while and party until sunrise!"

"Woo-hoo!!" shouted Yami. "Yeah! (hiccup!) Party at Malik's!!!" He tripped over his feet.

Bakura caught Yami before he reached the ground. Then turned to Malik and said, "I don't know. I kinda promised Ryou I'd help him watch his baby cousin. That girl's a brat y'know---what time is it?"

"Um-hmm..." Malik grunted as he looked at his watch. "It's 3:45 a.m."

"Okay!" Bakura shouted. "Party until sunrise!!"

Yami, trying to stand up, shouted, "Woo!! Hiccup!! Party down!! Bring on the chicks and booze!! Hiccup!!"

"Um, Yami," Bakura started, "I don't think you can handle anymore. You're drunk enough."

"But chicks is not a prob!" Malik said. "See, look! There's one!"

The three drunk yamis looked at the "chick" who had appeared from nowhere and just happened to be blocking their way. She was wearing armor and wielding a machine gun and lasers. It was none other then Anzu-Battousai. (Dum dum duuuuuuuum!!)

"MALIK!!" she shouted. "I THOUGHT I HAD KILLED YOU, YOU SCUM!!"

Malik stared at her. He then hiccupped and answered, "You thought wrong, baka girl!"

Anzu-Battousai then pulled out her trademark rocket launcher and aimed at Malik. "THAT'S IT!!" she shouted. "YOU ARE DEFINITELY GOING TO DIE TODAY, MALIK!"

Malik foolishly took on this challenge, drunkenly putting up his fists. "Okay!" he said. "Hiccup. Bring it on!"

BAM. Faster than anyone could have seen it coming, a rocket flew from Anzu-Battousai's cannon, taking off Malik's head.

The headless Malik stood up for about 5 seconds, then fell over.

Bakura and Yami screamed. "Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!"

Yami moaned. "Oooooh..." He collapsed.

Bakura caught him. "Yami!" he shouted. "Are you alright?"

The Pharoah didn't respond. He was out cold.

"Garah...he's fainted..." Bakura grumbled.

"YES!" Anzu-Battousai shouted in victory. "ANCIENT HISTORY! NYA HA HA HAH!!"

Bakura looked up at Anzu-Battousai. "Anzu...why?" he asked. "Why did you kill Malik?"

Anzu-Battousai just cracked up laughing. "Smmnnh! Nya ha. NYA AHA HA HA HA HA HAH!!!"

She's laughing?! Bakura thought, annoyed. Oh, come on! That is cold, Anzu!!

Anzu-Battousai runs off, laughing maniacally. More buildings collapse. People scream. Suddenly, Seto, from nowhere, shouts, "What the heck! Leave my fricking limo alone, Anzu!!!!" A minute later, a loud "ka-boom" is heard...Seto's limo. "Argh!!" shouts a frustrated Seto Kaiba.

Bakura hiccups. "Oh..." he moans. Then he begins to cry.

Yami lies on the ground unconscious.

And so, Malik is dead and possibly the only person who can stop Anzu-Battousai (but doesn't know it yet) has fallen down drunk. Can anyone save us now?! (Dun dun duuuuuuuuun!!!)

End Chapter Three!!

The script version of this chapter was a bit funnier, but I added some things to this one too so it balances out (I guess.) But how was it? Tell me in your review. Ja ne!