She couldn't remember a time she had felt more loved. She'd always felt that ever-present love by her father, and by her friends during school, but it had never been like that before. When Draco had kissed her, she had the sudden notion to pull away but remained. It felt so right. Kissing Senus was frightening, and hurried, and she felt misplaced when she did so. But it was entirely different with Draco. It was as though their lips fit together perfectly. And surges of bliss had pulsed through her veins as they had gotten closer. Until at last, they had fallen asleep under the blankets, curled into each other's embrace.
Waking up, however, was not quite as pleasant. Actually, she had been roughly snatched by the arm and pulled out of the blankets and entirely off the bed, falling to a painful thud on the floor. She at first wanted to cover her body, opening her eyes and seeing the blurred form of Senus standing before her.
"You whore!" he screeched, causing Draco to wake and worriedly look to the girl on the floor, trying to cover herself.
A vein was pulsing in his forehead, and his teeth gritted. Pulling a loose sheet tightly around his waist, he stood and helped Pansy to her feet, only to receive a startling punch to the gut.
"And you, little spoiled brat! I should've known better. Apparating in storms being bad for the woman's reproduction… I should've known it was all a bloody scheme to get her in bed," Senus barked, his fist still clenched in the punching position.
Draco had managed to regain his composure, tightening the hold on the sheet and giving a very intense glare at him.
"You didn't even wait to get to a bed with her, did you?" he snarled, apparently ignoring any pain he'd received from his punch.
Pansy reached over, grasping one of the pajama shirts which had been discarded on the floor and pulling it over her front, forcing on a pair of pants with it and standing up, stepping in between them.
"Stop!" she cried, knowing that she was going to be in a lot more trouble than she had started with.
"Don't tell me what to do, you filthy slut!" Senus growled, grabbing her arm again and tossing her away, sending her to the ground with a rush of his furious strength.
Draco narrowed his eyes, scanning the bedside table for his wand. It was gone. It had been in his pants pocket. Rushing his gaze around, he spotted a bit of wood popping from Pansy's pocket and attempted to approach her. However, he was stopped by a merciless hand fastened around his neck.
Pansy took the opportunity to latch onto Senus's back, catching him off guard so he released Draco and pulled her off.
"Consider your invitation invalid," her fiancé snarled, tightening his hand around Pansy's arm so fiercely that she was certain it was going to fall off.
He pulled her out of the room and into the humid morning air, co-apparating her in a moment's time.
She found herself back at home, and he dragged her inside. Her dress was still at Draco's, but that was the least of her worries.
He finally let go, pulling her around in front of him and smacking her so hard across the side that she thought she was going to faint. Using the stairwell to steady herself, she bit back painful tears and tried to rush away from him backwards.
"You are foolish, to go behind my back with that boy. You could've had the best life with me, rich and having everything you want at your fingertips. But you had to go play whore with the brat. Our wedding will be immediate. Go upstairs and wash the filth off of you, again."
She stared at him, wide eyes brimming with tears. Did he plan to rape her again? What did he mean by immediate? Without waiting to ask, she hurried up the stairs with no grace whatsoever, entering her room and using the dresser to support herself.
She leaned against it, feeling something pressing against her thigh. She looked down, seeing the bit of wand popping from her pocket. Quickly, she pulled it out and examined it, recognizing it instantly as Draco's wand.
What was he going to do without it? She had no way to owl him about it. The door handle turned, and she stuffed the wand back into the pocket.
Senus stood there, the same hateful look in his eyes as he stormed past her, brandishing his own wand and casting a spell on the window.
"No owls for you, in or out," he snarled, storming out of the door again. He had reached insane, just as Regina had.
Pansy walked over to the window, reaching out to touch it but feeling some force holding her back.
The door opened again, and she stifled a scream. It was probably Senus. Whipping around, she saw the form of one of the household maids standing there. She couldn't have been much older than Pansy, fairly pretty and a frightened visage on her face.
"What?" Pansy snapped, though she did feel somewhat guilty of doing so. After all, it was just a bad mood.
"I…" the maid began, looking at her feet, "I was sent to prepare the bath water and do Miss's hair for the evening."
"What's this evening?" Pansy asked, this time with much less malice as she pulled the wand out, fingering it and fighting a smile at the memories of the night before. It had all been so perfect—until the morning.
"Your mother has called for the bridesmaids to arrange for dinner," the maid explained quietly, turning on the water for the enormous tub.
"Oh," Pansy replied glumly, running her finger over the letters on her shirt pocket. Suddenly, an idea came to mind. "Do you have access to the Owlery?"
The maid looked surprised. "I am not the one who tends to it… But I could get in after hours."
Pansy smiled a bit. "Might you be able to return this to a Mister Draco Malfoy?"
The maid looked at the wand in Pansy's hand. She clearly recognized the name. "I will try, Madam… But if I am to be caught, I will certainly lose my place."
Pansy waved her hand nonchantly. "Worry little of that. I will take care of it." She handed the wand to her, and the maid secured it in her pocket. "What's your name?" she asked, taking an odd interest in the helpful woman.
"Diana, miss. Diana Ross," she said, adding a bit of bubble to the bathwater. The maid seemed to consider speaking for a moment, but finally said what was on her mind. "I heard what he did…you know, Mr. Yitel."
Pansy's expression tightened. "I suppose the whole house knows by now."
"No… I heard it from the maid who heard you…Well…you know… Screaming and such. He's really a terrible man," Diana said, wringing her hands together worriedly over whether or not she should be telling this.
"Really terrible. I'd much rather marry Draco," Pansy said, forgetting she was speaking with a maid. "But you didn't hear that."
"No, of course not, Madam. I hope I am not being too outspoken, but Mister Malfoy has rather attractive features."
Pansy smiled lightly, having a feeling she could grow fond of this maid. It was an odd feeling in her, something of kindness she had never expressed towards her maids. Despite the fact that Senus was boarding her up, she felt like having someone to talk to may be nice.
"I slept with him last night," she said bluntly to the maid. "Senus caught us."
"Oh! I suppose that explains why you have the wand," Diana said, looking away, hoping not to be punished for being so outspoken again.
"Yes, it is. I believe the water is ready. I shall bathe and then call you back for my hair."
Diana nodded, turning off the water and leaving the room, closing the door silently behind her.
Pansy soaked in the bathwater until it grew cold, lavishing the events of the night before and putting aside those from this morning. When she was at last done, she performed the necessary activities for her preparation in the morning, brushing her teeth and the like. She called Diana back in, sitting down in front of the vanity as the maid worked a brush through her hair.
"Did you attend Hogwarts?" Pansy asked, breaking the silence. She had an odd interest in the background of this maid.
"No. I went to a school in the states, in the Northern ones. I moved here two years ago and your mother just hired me a month ago."
Pansy had noticed that Diana's accent was very light, much lighter than anyone's from Hogwarts really.
"Oh. You can't be more than 20 or so," Pansy continued as the brush was smoothed through the last section of her hair.
"Twenty-one, actually," the maid said, beginning to pull the hair up into a careful and perfect bun. She moved to Pansy's fringe, using her wand as a curling iron as she made them into pretty curls.
"Oh," Pansy said quietly. "Are you married?"
"No. I haven't really found anyone," she shrugged softly. "I work here most of the day. I don't have many chances to meet people."
"You could always marry one of the servants," Pansy suggested, not remembering seeing any servants that were particularly attractive, but she hadn't seen that many wandering around.
"I suppose," Diana answered, a bit of color adding to her cheeks. "I don't think they'd be terribly interested."
"Why wouldn't they?" Pansy asked, considering. It couldn't be that she wasn't pureblood. Regina only hired pureblood staff, the poorer ones who had either lost their riches a long time ago or merely never had any fortune.
"I'm very contrary."
The conversation went on as such while Pansy's hair was being pulled back, quite nicely as a matter of fact. She liked it, and Diana seemed satisfied with her work.
Just as Diana was tidying up the style, Regina Parkinson barged in. Pansy felt foolish, for thinking she could get away from being punished by her uptight mother. She looked livid, her cheeks flushed red and her bony fists clenched.
"I cannot believe you!" shouted the woman, ignoring the maid's presence. Diana remained, however, fixing up the hair and not looking towards her boss. "First, I find out you've spent the night, drunk, at a house with a bunch of men you couldn't name on your life, and now, now you sleep with one of them! While your fiancé is one floor down! Have you not the discretion to restrain yourself? Especially with that Malfoy boy!"
Pansy turned her head sharply at her words, but managed to keep herself calm. Respecting your mothers was second to respecting your fathers. And seeing as her father was dead, that bumped Regina up to the top of the list.
"Malfoy boy?" she finally chanced, hoping to not be in trouble for questioning her words.
The repetition only seemed to infuriate Regina more. "Yes, that spoilt little Malfoy boy. Raised by the single most selfish, conceited people on the planet who taught him no way to live on his own!"
"I wasn't taught to live on my own," Pansy blurted, wincing as Diana took a particularly hard pull on her hair.
"But you're a woman. You don't need to learn, because you'll always have a man to do it for you. Or servants."
Pansy wanted to yell, kick, scream, do anything to oppose to horror stricken woman before her. But she remained calm, staring at herself in the mirror to avoid her mother's gaze.
"I expect you will not continue this recklessness. To ensure it, however, you will not be leaving this house until the day of your wedding. Then, I will be assured that Senus will watch your back. I never thought I'd see a reason to call you a whore."
Pansy gasped slightly, turning and ignoring a sharp pain from where Diana was yanked across, ruining her concentration. That was the second time she'd been called a whore that day.
Regina had swept from the room before Pansy could respond, so the girl just sighed, looking back in the mirror.
"Sorry," Diana said quietly, and Pansy merely closed her eyes for a moment.
"It's not your fault. Normally, she'd excuse you."
Diana nodded softly, finishing the hair in silence and fetched the dress that had been picked out by Regina the previous day, helping Pansy into it and then letting her get into the simple, but elegant heels.
"Now, if you'll excuse me Miss, I have some rather important business to attend to in the library," Diana said, grinning a bit mischievously before wandering out of the room and up another flight of stairs.
Pansy watched her go a moment before walking down the stairs, careful to keep her grace. She wanted to see Draco again. To have him kiss her again, and well, you know… How was it she had never noticed him like that before? Unless you count silly crushes of first year. But she had told him when she'd fancied some of the boys in Slytherin, those who weren't part of their little clique, or those who were a year older. Draco had told her when he had an eye for someone, and had dated them as well. She'd walked in on several of his snogging adventures, but rolled her eyes and left. She was sure he hadn't noticed her presence at all.
When she reached the bottom step, she took a left turn and walked into the parlor, seeing Regina there as she guessed.
"When are the bridesmaids expected?" Pansy asked innocently, not planning on being at all kind to her mother for as long as she could manage.
"Six o'clock. I'll see if the seamstress has properly created their dresses, they will stay for dinner, and then I will have some coordinating to do. You, of course, will assist me," Regina responded automatically, not looking up from her paper.
Pansy nodded stiffly, turning and slipping into the library. She didn't have long, but long enough to get some reading done. A Summer in Paradise was an extremely romantic novel about two young teenagers, fourteen, who had fallen in love over the summer. And it wasn't the average, fake love that a lot of young teens said they shared, it was real. And then they'd gone back to their homes for the term. A storm had washed away the homes on the beach, and they didn't see each other. Until ten years later, one married and one engaged, on that beach, looking at the newly built homes. Pansy found herself squirming to see what would happen next.
She had, however, run out of time. It was nearly six, and she knew Regina would be wondering the house looking for her. The Library blocked out noises from the rest of the house. Pansy stood, setting the book back down on the desk and walking out into the corridor, making her way towards the door. Just as she did so, knocks sounded on the door.
Regina wasn't anywhere in sight. Where were the house elves? Sighing exasperatedly, she opened the door. The two bridesmaids stood there, young and somewhat aloof.
"Got you answering the door now, do they?" one of them sneered, stepping inside without the invitation. She slipped off the silk gloves that had encased her hand and looked around, in annoyance, for a place to put them.
"I'll take them," Pansy muttered, taking the gloves from both cousins and placing them on the marble table beside the closet.
"And collecting the over-garments… My, my, sleeping with that Malfoy boy really has gotten you in trouble hasn't it?" the other remarked, lifting her chin.
Pansy tightened her expression, but didn't respond. Pansy tried to remember their names, but it failed her.
"Too bad. We're practically engaged," the first said.
"Engaged?" she asked, dumb-struck.
"As in, to be married, bound, whatever," the girl snapped, shaking her head prissily.
"You're not engaged to him!" Pansy scowled, narrowing her eyes.
"No, not yet, foolish girl. But mother's getting it all arranged."
Footsteps sounded down the stairs, and Regina was the cause of it. She met them at the bottom of the steps, smiling flakily.
"Now now, Dallas, Genevieve, mustn't have you standing her in the foyer for our meeting!" Regina ushered them into the parlor, taking her usual seat in the oversized armchair and smiling politely.
Dallas, the one who was supposedly marrying Draco, sat herself on the silky couch, observing it with a disdainful look.
"I was just telling your daughter about mother's plans to engage me to Mr. Malfoy."
Regina nodded. "Yes, yes, it won't be long now, will it? You two will make an inspiring couple."
"Except for his parents. I'll be the one knocking some sense into Draco before he can actually make it. Honestly, opening a shop! He'll be in the Ministry in no time."
Pansy did all she could not to lash out. She would've been defensive before, but with her feelings for Draco surpassing the 'just friends' level, she wasn't sure she could take it.
"And what of you, Genevieve, who is your mother preparing?" Regina asked, making it sound much like a cooking discussion rather than betrothal.
"Well, I've mentioned a few men, but she hasn't found one she says is quite good enough yet. I'm certain I'll find someone soon enough."
"If only that Zabini boy wasn't married. He is absolutely gorgeous, isn't he?" Genevieve queried, and Dallas nodded in agreement. Pansy just folded her arms over her stomach and glared.
"All right, down to business," her mother stated, and they began. First, the girls modeled their dresses for Regina, who was, luckily, satisfied with the making of them. For their next order of business, they discussed seating charts. Pansy dropped in a few "sounds great" and "wonderful choice" here and there, but other than that, ignored the whole ordeal.
After that, when it was approaching eight-thirty, they talked about decorations. Regina insisted on light flowers, with the soft colors that would look well. Dallas complained that it may look like an Easter wedding. So they changed it up a bit. Genevieve suggested adding some red and hot pink, so they agreed.
At last, when the invitation was designed, the food was decided for the reception, and the bouquet arrangement of flowers was decided, the girls left. It had taken them an outrageous amount of time to design the invitations. Pansy dropped in a few suggestions that were later out ruled.
By eleven, the papers were organized into Regina's study and they had decided to send in their arrangements to the coordinators, designers, and other workers for the preparations to be completed. Pansy entered her room, her legs tired and her eyes drooping. When she entered, Diana was in there.
She started a bit at seeing the young girl in her room, but shook it off and nodded in greeting.
"Sorry to be here so late, Miss, but I have something for you."
Pansy turned, seeing a folded parchment in her hand. Could it be…from him?
"From Master Malfoy, Miss. He put no return address, but the same owl I sent out with his wand returned with this letter. I can only assume."
Pansy couldn't help but grin. "Thank you, Diana."
She reached out, accepting the letter from the maid.
"Goodnight then, Miss," Diana returned the smile lightly, leaving the room.
Pansy rather liked her.
She opened the letter, carefully unfolding it. To her luck, Draco's scrawl was completely noticeable on the parchment in thin black ink. She slipped over to the space beside the fireplace, sitting down beside it and beginning to read.
Pansy,
I must admit I am ashamed of myself. I knew you were engaged, and what he did to you… But I ignored it and went on, making a move on you like I hadn't known you all my life. I did not consider the consequences. I hope he has not hurt you again. I am ashamed as well that I rather enjoyed our rendezvous. I think that all this time, I never realized you were right in front of me. I want to be with you. And I will stop at nothing to achieve it.
Love,
Draco
He had included love. He had never, ever used that word in any letter written to her. Her heart was pounding a million miles a minute, and she stored the letter underneath a loose floorboard. She noted, also, that her diary from third year was under there too. She didn't have the patience to read it at the moment, anyway. Smiling to herself, she changed into pajamas, letting her hair fall around her face in a very messy look due to be in a bun.
Draco was going to stop at nothing to be with her. Nothing. And Malfoy ambition was trusting ambition, if anyone's was. She was going to be saved from Senus. She had to be.
The next morning, Pansy woke early, bathed, dressed, and did little to her hair and makeup before going to her mother's room.
Regina was still in there, preparing for the day. Pansy walked in, seeing her mother sitting at the vanity mirror, performing charms on her hair.
"Pansy? What do you want?"
"I wish to propose an idea to you," Pansy stated clearly. She had spent half the night coming up with a master plan, and exactly what to say.
"Go on."
"You must promise not to interrupt until I am completely finished."
Regina rolled her eyes. "Fine. Do hurry."
"The Malfoys, despite the dispute between you two that I cannot fully explain, are a wealthy, pureblood family. We used to be close-knit to them, and even if we haven't ever got along with Narcissa and Lucius, they are still one of the purest blooded families out there. Draco is a pureblood, Mother, and he was well raised. I know because I was one of his best friends at Hogwarts. And I wish to be with him," Pansy paused, and Regina opened her mouth to speak but was silenced by more speaking. "Do you want me to be happy, Mother? I can still be wealthy and have pureblood children, just with a different man. And I'll be happy."
There was a long pause, and Regina seemed to be contemplating at first. "No."
Pansy gaped. She thought at least her mother would have taken the time to think over it a few hours. Not four minutes.
"But…Why?"
"Don't you see, Pansy?" Regina began, looking agitated. She set down her wand, standing up. "Have you not gotten to know Senus at all?"
Pansy chose not to answer.
"You have to marry him. No one else will, due to his rather demanding attitude. You have no choice. He has decided that you will be the one to carry his child and Pansy, you will be."
Pansy's expression tightened again. "I don't want to be with him! Can't you just tell him I've found another? We're not married yet!"
"He'll kill you, Pansy," she responded solemnly. "He wants what he has and if he doesn't get it, he's going to kill for it. He'll kill your precious Draco and he'll destroy you. Don't you think I would've called back Steven Reynolds or Joel Gazelle if I didn't think he'd kill you for it?"
Pansy just stared. "I don't understand."
"He raped you, Pansy. For a reason. He was marking his territory, calling you his. Once he's shown that to me, I can't say no. I can't defy him, just as you can't either. If I try, he will threaten me. It's happened before."
"Why can't I defy him? Why do we have to follow them stupid damn rules that some crackpot old woman wrote in the 1800's? It's a new time, Mother! It's time to change! I want to be happy, and I want you to be. If you keep acting like men still rule the world, you're going to suffer. I suffered, Mother. I'm suffering."
Regina shook her head. "You still don't understand. By this time in two months, you will be wed to Senus Yitel. And that's all there is to it."
"Mother!"
"Leave my room."
Pansy glared, closing her mouth and leaving the room with a loud slam on the door behind her.
