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KNOWING THY HEART
: Autumn Felicity Summers
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CHAPTER 1
AN UNPLEASANT ENCOUNTER
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It was Christmas – an over-commercialized holiday, in Severus Snape's opinion. Why he had to suffer at the festivities when it was perfectly clear that he hated the very name of the festival was beyond him. Strangely, all his misfortunes had taken place during Christmas – agreeing to Lucius Malfoy's proposal of him taking the Dark Mark was one of the greatest, he felt.
What would it be this time? He thought wryly.
As he saw a phoenix feather appear in front of him, he sighed and rubbed his head. He had to ask, hadn't he?
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It was the worst thing that had ever happened to him. It was worse than knowing that the Dark Lord had captured an Order member. It was even worse than having his secret method of spying revealed to the Dark Lord.
Yes, this Christmas Get-Together which Dumbledore had tricked him into attending was far, far worse than anything that could have happened to him.
He had come here expecting that finally Dumbledore had decided that Potter should confront the Dark Lord and get it all over with for once and for all. No, no such luck. Instead he was stuck in this… abominable gathering.
Thankfully, the enlarged hall had not been too brightly lit up. There were dark recesses here and he decided that he would take shelter in one of those. He was far more willing to be an observer than a participant in these festivities.
As his eyes wandered over those present, he found himself going deeper and deeper into the abyss of boredom. Won't it be better if he just died right now, unburdening the world of his dark, brooding presence? He didn't know why but he always felt morbid – quite negatively morbid thoughts invading his otherwise perfectly balanced mind during Christmas. If it wasn't for the fact that he had yet to fulfil his promise to Dumbledore, Severus was sure that he would have left this world for good.
Dumbledore… much as he thought he disliked the man, he knew he didn't. Though he warded off his attempts to get him to join the party with scowls, frowns and sneers, he knew that they reassured him of the fact that someone cared about him. Minerva did, too, in her own stern way. She frowned at him as he refused to even have a decent conversation with anybody. She was a firm woman, and though he would never ever admit this to anyone, she was his favourite teacher. Though Transfiguration had not been his strongest subject, it had always intrigued him. It was so similar to Potions in its appreciation of the minute! It was his second favourite subject after Potions.
And there was Remus Lupin. He disliked the man – he was a werewolf for Merlin's sake! A half-human… worse, a half-wizard! He had tried to kill him! But Severus acknowledged, to none but himself, that the man's attempts at friendliness had not all been in vain. He had a grudging respect for his talent in the field of Defence Against the Dark Arts. However, Severus was better at hating than liking.
As he observed the other members present, he couldn't help noticing that something was amiss, something he couldn't lay his finger on… what was it?
All of a sudden, he heard the oh-so-immature laughter of Ron Weasley and turned to face him with a scowl. He didn't notice him, but Severus realised what he found missing. There was the dunderhead Potter but no Miss Granger. No, she was definitely nowhere here.
And as unbidden suspicions rose up in his minds, he found that his arch-enemy, Sirius Black was not there, either.
His displeasure turning into raw anger and hatred, he got out from his 'hiding-place' and strode out of the hall.
None but Dumbledore noticed his departure. However, the old man decided that Severus had suffered here for long enough and let the man go.
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He couldn't find them anywhere downstairs. He had searched in all rooms open to everyone.
His suspicions were gaining conformity now. He knew for certain where they might be.
Clenching his fists, he walked towards the room he knew belonged to Sirius Black. He had spent just one night here and had had the misfortune of having that room right next to the mangy mutt's.
Had that dog no sense? What was he thinking? Playing around with silly, little girls! His godson's best friend, no less! Finally, all those years spent in Azkaban are gaining on his power of reasoning. Next thing you know, he will be walking around murdering people.
Mentally berating and cursing Sirius Black, Severus finally reached the room. It was all eerily quiet. But Severus knew why. They had placed a Silencing Charm and he knew only too well why they had done that.
Seething with anger, he pulled out his wand and burst opened the door.
And for just some moments he wished he hadn't.
A variety of emotions passed over him as he looked on at the scene before him.
Repulsion, embarrassment, hatred, anger…
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"Hermione, I love you."
Oh, those long-awaited words! She couldn't believe that he had said that to her! It was so surreal! Somehow unearthly! When she replied to him, declaring her love for him, it still felt as if she was in some wonderful dream.
He smiled at her, and then bent down to kiss her. It was a slow kiss at first, tentative on her part. She hadn't had much experience in kissing. She wondered if she was too bad at it. But as his tongue probed her for entrance, she knew she must not be that bad. Sirius entangled his hands in her still bushy hair and pulled her closer. The kiss grew more and more passionate and the next thing she knew, they were pulling off their robes.
Now naked, Hermione felt a wave of embarrassment pass over her. She had never done this before nor had she 'touched' a man. Sirius felt her discomfort. He embraced her and between showering kisses on her neck and downwards, said, "You're the most beautiful creature I have ever seen, Hermione."
Her cheeks reddened further, but she was soon losing her rationality as his hands explored her body. She trailed her fingers down his back, and felt him shiver slightly at her touch. She wondered what to make of it. She stopped, hesitant.
"Don't worry, love, you'll be fine. Touch me."
The sheer eroticism of his words made her shudder with pleasure. He gently pushed her on the bed. With his hands on either side of her, he bent down and brought his mouth to her breasts. As his tongue flicked her pert nipples, she felt a burning sensation. It was quite unlike anything she had felt before. The all-too-new sensations made her somewhat apprehensive and light-headed. But she tried not to show it.
However, just as she brought her hands up to touch him, something very strange happened.
The door burst open – literally.
Sirius removed himself from top of her and turned back in a swift motion, shocked beyond words or thoughts.
Though Hermione couldn't see his face, she recognized the billowing robes.
Oh no! No! No! No! It was her Potions Master! Her Professor! A teacher! Oh no!
She felt all the new sensations vanish into nothing. She was suddenly very much aware of everything. Oh Merlin! She was naked in front of Professor Snape!
She hurriedly pulled the blanket to her chest, her face redder than the reddest of Weasley hair.
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It was Sirius who spoke first.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING?" he yelled at Snape.
Hermione cringed slightly.
But it seemed that Snape paid him no heed. She stared hard at the floor, somehow so sure that Snape had his eyes fixed on her.
"ARE YOU JUST GOING TO STAND THERE OR ANSWER ME, SNIVELLUS?"
Snape shot him a filthy look.
"Answer you? Answer you? You think I have something to answer for, Black?"
"Of course, you have, you pervert!"
"Me? Pervert? No, Black, it seems that you are in bed with a… student!"
"Yours, not mine," said Sirius coldly.
If looks could kill, both Snape and Sirius would have been dead – over and over again.
Snape decided to turn his attention to the other participant in the liaison.
"Miss Granger, clothe yourself and come out."
Hermione's face turned redder – if that was possible. She looked at Sirius helplessly.
He put an arm around her possessively.
"You are no one to order her around!" he spat out at Snape.
"You forget you just mentioned that I am her professor. I have to take care of my students – to see that none of them are molested," said Snape nastily.
"Wrong, Snivellus. You can't order her around during holidays. And I wasn't molesting her."
"You were!"
"No, he was not," said Hermione, her voice trembling, but her eyes defiant as she finally raised them to meet Snape's.
Their eyes were locked in a battle of wills. Snape was not going to look away first, but Hermione, too, was determined. Granted that he was her Potions Master and she respected him for his knowledge and work. But he had no right to meddle in her personal affairs.
"You're staring, Snivellus."
Sirius' dry tone cut short their staring match. Both looked away at the same time.
"Hermione is of age and has a right to choose who she loves and chooses to sleep with," said Sirius, dressing them both with a wave of his wand.
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Severus found himself in a most hateful position. Sirius Black was right. Oh Merlin! He so wanted to kill him right now!
And that senseless chit! He was going to make her life hell once he was back at Hogwarts. He really, really was.
The best thing for present was, however, to get away. Others would be coming up and strangely, he didn't want anyone to know about them, Black and Miss Granger, that is.
So scowling and fuming, he turned and left without another word.
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Sirius sat down on the chair in front of the fireplace with a sigh. Hermione came round to him.
"I am sorry it was so awful, love," he said, pulling her onto his lap.
"It wasn't your fault."
"No. It was Snivellus' and he is going to pay for it!" said Sirius, scowling.
"Just forget him," said Hermione, kissing him near the lips.
"Knowing him," said Sirius, gathering Hermione closer to himself, "he might trouble you at Hogwarts. He is a nasty bastard. You'll let me know if he troubles you, right?"
Hermione nodded and planting a last kiss on his lips, got up.
"We could continue, you know," said Sirius, grinning suggestively.
Hermione shook her head. "Snape has really… well, not tonight, anyway."
"Whatever you wish, of course. Don't want you to have the greasy git in mind during such a special time."
Hermione giggled light-heartedly.
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It was only when he saw her leave his room and go into her own alone, that Severus removed the Concealment Charm from himself and headed towards the library, where he had earlier spotted some Floo Powder.
He didn't know who he was madder at – himself, that mangy mutt or Miss Granger. Not that he thought that Black would have more sense than that! But he had a higher opinion of Miss Granger's judgement, though he continually criticized and berated her.
She held a different place in his mind than everybody else. Not only was she intelligent, she had a true devotion for Potions – something she did not have for any other subject, as he had surmised from his observations of her.
For he did observe her – unknowingly, secretly… even from himself…
And he had come to know why.
The worst thing was that it had taken the fact that she was in love with his nemesis to make him realize that… he loved her. It was stupid, berserk and irrational. That did not matter. All that mattered was that he had loved her and lost her before he had got her.
His logical mind told him that the best conclusion was to forget all about her.
Contemplating a revival of his old habits, he stepped up to the hearth.
"Knockturn Alley!"
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