Oh my giddy gosh goodness, I got reviews! Thank you! Muhaha, please enjoy like a porcupine enjoys a back rub, a rare action that sends them over the edge! I'm guessing... I haven't spoken to many porcupines about that lately...
BTW I highly recommend you finding the book
Angus, Thongs and Full Frontal Snogging
Funniest shit I've ever read, to be quite honest. Its a real book, not a fan fic, but trust me. It is worth reading. And so are the sequels...
So, without further ado, (that's a funny word. Ado? Wasn't that the name of the monkey in Aladdin? ) Welcome to part TWO! (hey, I rhymed!)
XxX MoOnIe
DISCLAIMER: Must we go through this again?
Victim Number 26
Draco made his way out of bed and towards his wardrobe. He was already late to class so he washed up and pulled a black robe over his red boxers. No one would care if he was half naked, he might actually be praised for it, on the other hand. He gave his reflect a slight smile, liking what he saw. Brushing his blonde hair out of his eyes with his hand, he walked out of his common room with his forest green bag. Since mudblood Granger hasn't been in school to fulfill her duties as Head girl, he had had the entire dorm to himself... and the occasional slut he brought in with him. He looked over his shoulder and grinned as he remembered having sex on that very couch.
He walked out of the room and towards his first class. As he made his way down the corridors, girls looked at him, eyes wide with lust, and some poor second year almost had an asthma attack. Draco knew he was good looking, but he never had a girl use an inhaler when he looked at her. He felt a slight breeze and realized his robe was undone.
Anyone else in that situation would what stopped, blankly stare at their body, slam the robe shut, and scurry off in the other direction. But Malfoys never got embarrassed. Instead, Draco glanced down at his boxers and smiled. He undid the rest of the knot, which allowed everyone to see his beautiful body. Not an ounce of fat on him, he was... amazing. He grabbed each end of the robe and re-did the knot. Mummers and groans passed around as the robe re-hid his nakedly beautiful -ness. The guys gave him a dirty look, each one wishing they could pull that off.
Draco smiled again and continued towards his class. All the girls couldn't take their eyes off him, wishing the robe would disappear...with the boxers.
"No such luck, sorry ladies." He said out loud with a smirk. The girls stopped ogling and finally walked away. A hand grabbed Dracos shoulder and standing next to him was Blaise.
"Nice peep show." Blaise said laughing. Zambini was Dracos only real friend. Crabbe and Goyle were protection and Pansy was his obsessor, but Zambini didn't idolize Malfoy freely like the other Slytherins. If there was anyone Draco almost treated like an equal, it would be him.
"The girls didn't seem to mind." Malfoy replied, just as the bell rang. People began to enter their classes, but the two continued to walk. A tall girl made her way down the hall, but stopped when she noticed Malfoy.
"Draco Malfoy! You...you little whore!" She yelled. The kids that were still in the corridor looked in a shocked silence. The Ravenclaw beauty, Cindie's her name, balled up her fist and stared at him angrily. Draco gave her a silent smile and stopped.
"Why, thank you Cindie. I'd like to say the same for you."
The girl stared daggers at him and continued, "You are so low Malfoy... You told me you loved me, then you slept with my best friend Macy! How could you do that?" Draco laughed inwardly. Oh, Macy...that's right. She was a feisty little one, horrid kisser though. He recalled hitting on her near his room. He was horny as hell and Macy was staring at him, licking her lips. Tempting enough, so he leaned in and kissed her. Merlin, she almost sucked his tongue out, and she kept moving her head from side to side as if eating his face. He would have stopped the session if it hadn't been for his hormones.
"Cindie, my dear. It was quite easy, Its called lying. You know...l-y-i-n-g. Its when you-"
"I know what it is, you asshole! I...I hate you!" She screamed, tears starting in her eyes. Blaise gave her a sad look as one of the tears fell without her having to blink.
"I'm so sorry you feel that way, but listen babe. This was a win-win situation. I had you and your two friends, and you had me. I don't see the losing in that."
Cindie couldn't even talk, so she looked at him for the last time and spit at him. The she walked in the opposite direction. All the wanderers shook their heads and walked to class.
Draco whipped the spit from his robe and looked at Blaise. "Can you believe that's the third time someone did that to me?" He chuckled. He didn't care if he made Cindie cry, he made her scream his name only a week ago. Crying is a part of the fee, so to speak.
"So what number was she?" Blaise asked earnestly, watching the poor girls dirty blonde hair flare out behind her as she walked.
"Well...lets see. I believe she was 26...or 27. But who's really counting?" Draco replied with a bit of accomplishment. He loved toying with girls, it made him feel so... powerful. He could make them do anything he wanted.
"One day some girl is going to come back and kick you in the ass." Blaise replied, smiling at the idea.
"Well than let it be, because I don't go for girls. I go for women- and that's a woman" Draco said, looking at a person that walked by. Her face was covered by her long brown hair, and she was reading something in her hands. A letter, I think. Holy Merlin... She's a mighty piece of-
"You mean Granger? Cleans up nicely doesn't she?" Blaise replied.
Draco stopped staring at the girls bare legs and looked at his friend.
"What?"
"Huh?"
"What did you say?" Draco asked, his eyes wide.
"I said Granger cleans up nicely. Just look at her. Nice legs, nice ass, nice rack, bangin body-"
"Whoa...wait. Granger? As in..."
"Hermione Granger."
"WHAT? " Draco couldn't hold in the sudden outburst, which cause the girl to turn around. Hermione Granger it was. But, she looked so much different, so mature. Her body was curvy in all the right places, and her hair was... so not like Granger. Her large eyes were enhanced by the gold eye shadow she put on, and her tan skin was so exotic compared to his creamy complexion. She looked at Draco open mouthed, amazed at his appearance. "Malfoy?" she asked quietly, not loud enough from them to hear. Then she quickly turned back around and hurried off towards her class.
"God, she is ripe for the fuckin, huh Draco. Yeah, she came in during breakfast, almost had every guy on her. She is so innocent that she didn't get they were trying to nail her...oh well. She said she was out because she had Picnic Pox, whatever the bloody hell that is, I dunno." Draco was still in awe, but he got out of it and glanced at his friend.
Blaise smiled at him. "God, what I would do to have one go at her. You gotta tell me how she is when your done."
"What?" Draco was still off in lala land, trying to figure out how Mudblood, good-girl Granger became so... sexy. MUDBLOODS AREN'T SEXY! He mentally yelled at himself.
"Well, you're gonna screw her, right. Hmm, I guess not. She's a mudblood, you wouldn't lower your standards for her."
'You're right, but I sure as hell would lower my pants for her.' Draco though.
Blaise laughed and continued "I don't think she would go for you anyway. Naw. Virgin Granger and the head Slytherin slut... couldn't happen."
Draco looked at his good friend, a grin starting to spread on his lips. "Oh really, you don't think I could, do you."
Blaise continued to stare at where Hermione once was. "Nope, not after all the times you were a prick to her-"
Draco shot him a look that told him if he continued that sentence, he would pay. "Wanna bet. I could be in her pants before Christmas break." Draco turned to walk.
"You're on."
Draco stopped and turned. Blaise had a satisfied grin on his face.
"30 Galleons says you can't nail Hermione Granger before the end of the year. And no spells! You can't trick her into sex!" Draco smirked and shook his hand.
"Like I'd have to." was all he said, turned and followed Hermione. Blaise shook his head and went to class.
AN: Hey guys and gals, thanks for reading my lil old story, hope you liked, much more to go, I daresay. Enjoy, Thank you, come again.
love to all, including the old members of NSYNC. Without them failing miserably, we would still be in the Boy Band Era-
well, i luv you all, almost as much as 'buttered toast', as Ed would say
XxX MoOnIe
