A/N: Hola Ladies and Gummy worms, Nice to see you this fine day, or night. Thank you for the reviews, I love them as much as Ice cream after a breakup.

Half baked ice cream, if you must now. Gods own gift to humanity.

That and the eyelash curler.

Oh, by the way... if you haven't seen Napoleon Dynamite... you won't get some jokes in the middle... and I highly recommend that too! It's so retarded, you can't help but laugh!

Enjoy darlings!

DISCLAIMER: Really, dear, must I write it again. I do not own Harry Potter, nor a car. But I do own a pair of hand-me-down bell bottoms from the 70's.

Red door, Green door

Name:

Draco Malfoy

Age: 17

Occupation: Slytherin King

AKA- Hogwarts Sex God

Latest Goal:

Learning Latin, Beating Potter at Quidditch,

and nailing his best friend (no, I don't mean Ron)

Name:

Hermione Granger

Age: 17

Occupation: Gryffindor Princess

AKA- Hogwarts Cleverest Witch

Latest Goal:

N.E.W.T.S., Learning how to master eyeliner

and hormones

Let the games begin...

Draco followed Hermione into the Common room and almost ran into her. She stopped right in the middle of the doorway, her eyes wide, admiring the common room.

The walls were a lush shade of green, and were manipulated to resemble the same forest in the tapestry. Red oaks towered above them on the walls, and the purple and pink flowers swayed in the un-felt breeze. Hermione placed her hand to touch one of the golden daisy's near a Brooke, but her fingers only grazed the cold wall. The ceiling was enchanted almost like the Great Halls, except you could see the tops of the trees, and the suns light hitting fallen dust resembled glitter, declining from the heavens. There were no fairies, but a deer was almost hidden from view by a small black berry bush. The carpet was soft to the touch and there were 2 large couches near the fireplace. One couch was burgundy with gold trim, the other green with silver trim. Slytherin and Gryffindor. A small coffee table separated them, holding four large dust books on top of each other. Two winding stair erupted from either side of the fireplace, and at the top was their rooms.

"Not half bad, huh Granger." Malfoy looked around. He didn't care about the walls, but the girls he brought in had the same reaction Hermione did. They would giggle like a bunch of loons and admire the plaster. Its only a bunch of trees, get over it. Hermione jumped, forgetting he was there. She slowly looked around again, then walked towards the stairs.

"Malfoy, shouldn't you be in class?" Hermione asked, not turning around. She placed her hand on the cold steel of the stair case and took a step onto it.

"Well, yes. But so should you." He replied, making his way onto the green couch. Sitting down he kicked his feet up onto the small round coffee table, knocking the books off.

"I have a reason to be here. You, on the other hand, don't have an excuse." She said coolly, turning at the sound of the large books hitting the ground. He smirked at her and replied, getting up.

"No, Granger, I have a reason too. McGongall saw me and told me to go and change before she took points from Slytherin. Seeing how I am Head Boy, I couldn't have that." He lied quickly, making his way behind her on the stairs, not breaking their stare.

Hermione eyed his robe. "What's wrong with your outfit?"

"Nothing, besides the fact I'm not wearing one." With that he undid the robe slowly, revealing his chest. Hermione's mouth fell slightly as she looked at his body. You should probably wash clothes on his stomach! Covetousness almost got the better of her, but she broke her stare from his body and made her way at the top of the stairs. There was a little hall that led to the other staircase, and a green door. She walked towards it, reaching for the handle.

"Granger." Draco sounded amused, covering up his flesh once more with the robe. "Please step away from my door. I know you would like to come into my room while I change, but not today I'm afraid." Hermione pulled her hand away from the knob.

She shot Draco a nasty look and walked down the hall to her room, but not before she replied, "Not even in your wet dreams, Malfoy."

Draco snickered at the comment. My what a wicked little tongue she has, but we'll see about that. He watched her walk away, his eyes scanning her legs again. He always had a fetish with legs, muscular ones with defined calves. Hermione's were in perfect condition (thanks to her jogging) and she was somewhat graceful. She placed her outstretched hand on the knob of her maroon door.

What a little prat. God Hermione, of course that was his room. Green... Slytherin. Red...Gryffindor! Idiot... She wouldn't know common sense if it were to hit her in the face, and then introduce itself.

Before she walked into her room, there was another door that caught her eye. This one was white.

White... er... Oh, the bathroom. (Good job Hermione! We are so proud of you.)

She walked into her room and gasped. It was... empty. Only her luggage bags sat in the middle of the hard wood floor. She figured her room would be beautiful like the common room. "What the..."

"You have to imagine it."

"Thank you for the unwanted help. You know what Malfoy, you should try and make a career out of that." Draco smirked at her from her door way. He was leaning against the frame wearing... (damn it)... his school uniform. (I personally believe it should be illegal for him to wear clothes... It's a fire hazard. C'mon guys, I am only looking out for his safety! Gosh.)

"Jeesh Hermione. I was just trying to help."

"Well, I don't need your- wait. You... you called me Hermione. What happened to mudblood? Or Granger?" She gave him a baffled look, her arms crossed and her eyebrow arched.

"I haven't called you mudblood since you've been here." Mudblood mudblood, stupid little giddy mudblood, "I figured, hell, if we have to share a common room... we should try to find some... common ground." Like my bed for instance.

"Just because we have to live near each other, doesn't mean we have to like it, or each other. And I am perfectly contempt with that. Good day, Malfoy." She said his last name venomously, then she shut the door in his face.

Hermione walked to the center of the room and stared at the blank walls. The only thing out of place were two large French doors. She looked out them and saw, with her delight, a balcony that overlooked the lake. Before she walked onto it, she closed her eyes and imagined her room. She wanted something... girly. But different.

Walls... blue. No, purple. Purple with white polka dots!

Carpet... White. ...A red oak dresser, with a matching wardrobe, king sized bed, an end table, a book shelf, a desk and...I want white sheets with purple polka dots...Hmm... white curtains, a white vanity table with all my evil makeup already in it... oh, and I definitely want a television on the end table.

Hermione felt like the ground was moving underneath her, so she opened her eyes to catch her balance. She stood there, gaping, amazed at what she saw. The room looked just what she had imagined! It was gorgeous! The only thing missing was the T.V. She looked at the oak end table, but all it held was her knap sack.

That's right... Anything electrical doesn't work right here... Thanks again Merlin...

Her vanity table was set aside next to the balconies giant window-doors. They were open and a soft breeze cause her curtains to swarm around her. Her bags were inside her open wardrobe, which held all of her robes pre-hung on coat hangers. Her clothes were in the dresser, which stood next to her bed. Her shelf contained her school books that she bought in Diagon Alley, and roles of parchment and quills sat in a neat pile on her dresser.

Hermione smiled and stepped out into the sunlight. She walked towards the edge and looked at the pond. The sun danced on the surface of the murky water, making it shine like gold. A slight wind brought the sweet smell of pine to her nose, along with a fragrance she never smelled before. It was like breathing candy. The breeze swept Hermiones hair back behind her, and she closed her eyes. It was so peaceful out here, she may even do her homework on this balcony, if the weather stays this nice. I feel like I am flying. Wow, that was extremely cheesy. But she kept her eyes closed and spun around, like the fairy had done. She felt so beautiful right then, that she continued to sway to the wind, dancing to the silent melody of the water hitting the shore.

Draco couldn't tear his eyes away, mainly because he was confused as hell. What in the name of ultra-sensitive condoms was Granger doing, anyhow? She was dancing like an idiot on her balcony, a stupid grin on her face. Her eyes were shut as she continued to move. Her red shirt gently rose up as she brought her arms into the air, revealing her toned stomach. Her long legs danced about as she swayed.

Although Draco thought she looked ridiculous, it was almost... angelic. The sunlight streamed over her, causing the auburn in her hair to come out like the first rose after winter. It was enchanting, watching her. He stepped onto his own veranda silently, sitting on the edge. Hermione didn't even know how close he was, their balconies only a few feet away from each others. He continued to stare, un-blinkingly. She didn't open her eyes. What was it about her that drew him here? Not once had he stepped out into the sunlight on that balcony, he liked to stay in his cold room. But, he had to see her, he had to touch her. Without knowing, or caring, what he was doing, he leapt the three feet that disconnected their balconies.

She didn't notice his staring at her, she didn't notice the change in the wind and she didn't notice she had a dance partner as his hands slid down to her waist. Hell, she probably wouldn't have noticed if a nuclear bomb were to explode in her knickers... ok, maybe she would notice that one.

She though it was a dream, really, sheer bliss. She placed her arms around herself, so each of her hand laid on top of his own. She moved her body to the rhythm the wind created, her head slightly turned. Draco couldn't take this, it was to tempting. He pulled her close to him and lowered his face and gently kissed her neck. This Hermione did notice this. She stopped moving, shocked at what was happening. Draco's kisses became harder, gently nipping her sensitive skin. He was taking all this in, feeling her, tasting her. He trailed to her ear and nibbled at her lobe, has arms wrapped around her stomach, pulling her in as close as possible. Hermione took a deep breath, this was new to her.

She felt a small tingling sesation overtake her body, and a small moan was held in her throat, but she bit it back. It felt too glorious...sinfully enthralling. But...

Wait a minuet...

Holy shit...

Malfoy?

Why the bloody hell is Malfoy kissing me? Why does it...god...feel so ...NO! Get off me you fool!

"Get off me you fool!" Whoa, daja-vu.

Draco pulled off her reluctantly, and she spun around to face him, her mouth in a frown and her eyebrows pushed together. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Draco's lips were still pursed, he looked shocked.

For the first time in his whole life, Draco Malfoy was speechless. Never had he been told to stop kissing a girl, nor did the girl reject him. He did the rejecting! Who the hell does Granger think she is?

"You didn't seem to mind." He replied, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, guess what asshole, I do mind. And why are you on my balcony? Did you come in my room?" She was now screaming, trying to cover up the fact she had enjoyed the kiss.

Draco gave her a sneer and pointed at his own balcony. "Why would I want to go through your lame ass room, Mu- Granger." He almost dropped the M-bomb.

No, Draco, you have to win her over. Calling her a mudblood won't exactly earn you a invitation to her pants.

Hermione rolled her eyes and wiped her neck. "Thanks for getting my face all wet, you drool like a damn dog." This made Malfoy pissed, but Hermione found it rather amusing to watch him get infuriated, so she didn't care.

"It's called kissing Granger. Oh, that's right, you've never been kissed, so you wouldn't know what it is." He smirked at her as her grin fell, being replaced with a stern look.

"Not that my personal life is any of your business, but I have to been kissed."

"Krum doesn't count."

Damn it!

"And why not?"

"Because that moron was your little boyfriend, and probably asked before he kissed you. I'm not talking about little pansy ass pecks, Hermione, I mean a real kiss."

Double Damn!

"Well, I have been kissed. Really." Draco sent her a look, he didn't believe her. Hell, Hermione didn't even believe her own lie.

"Really... Was it any good? I heard Weasley wasn't that great..."

"I'm not talking about Ron! He's like my brother!"

"So you are into incest..."

"You're disgusting, please leave." Hermione pointed towards his balcony.

"No, tell me Granger. Who really kissed you?" He stalked closer to her, she sneered at him.

"It is none of your business." She replied, crossing her arms over her chest. He walked closer, in fact he was so close to her that she had to look up to see his eyes. he snaked one arm around her waist and pulled her body next to his. She placed her hands on his chest, as if to push him off.

Oh Merlin... please don't kiss me... I can't be doing this...

"You're a bad liar."

"Yeah, well... " Triple damn! Why can't I think of anything to say?

"Your mom!" I did not just say that... I did not just say that... Merlin please tell me I didn't not use a lame ass comeback from Napoleon Dynamite! I am going to kill Amber, she was the one that made me watch it!

"What?" Draco's charming smile was replace with perplexed sneer. "My mom what?"

Hermione smiled slightly and let out a small giggle. "...Goes to college." She couldn't hold it in and busted out laughing right in his face. Malfoy took a step back and stared at the girl who was now wiping away tears. Her face was completely overtaken by a huge grin and she was laughing so hard she couldn't breathe. When she finally put herself together, she took one look at Draco's bemused face and started laughing all over again.

"Granger, what is so damn funny?" More laughter from the brunette.

"You...you...hahahaha...god Malfoy...you wouldn't get it...hahaha college!...In order to understand...you ...hahaha...have to have a sense of humor...huhhhhh...seeing that you don't have emotions, you would find it quite hard to see why it's so funny... momgoestocollege... uhhhh god...that was good..." The blonde raised an eyebrow at her.

"I think you are just trying to avoid the question." Before Hermione could regain herself, Draco's arm found its way around her waist once more.

"Hmmm... what question?"

"Who really kissed you Granger?" Hermiones cheeks, which were already red from laughing, turned unmistakably darker.

"Well...err...wait. What's with the new found interest in my love life Malfoy. Shouldn't you be worrying about your own hormonal actions?"

"Well, maybe this is a part of my 'hormonal actions' as you so kindly put it."

"I don't see how I have anything to do with you or your hormones. And you will see it fit that you never place those words together again." Draco gave her his trademark smirk.

"Why not Granger, you know you want to be my next notch on my bedpost. But first we will have to see how you kiss..." With that he swooped down, yet before he could even graze her lips, Hermione pulled away, her eyes wide.

Malfoy smirked down at her, but it disappeared when Hermiones hand shot up and slapped him across the face.

"God Malfoy! Don't kiss me! Don't touch me! Don't even look at me! You do this to every girl at this school!" she screamed, amazed at how close she had come to letting him kiss her.

"No I haven't!" Which was true. Not EVERY girl...yet.

"Don't lie to me! God, you can't ever change, can you? I'm not like the whores you've had, you can't just kiss me and expect me to swoon and say 'Of Draky, please, please kiss me again, lets have sex, then you can devastate me and sleep with my best friends!'"

"Well, that won't happen in your case! Mainly because your best friends are Potty and the Weasel." Stop Draco, your flushing you chances...

"Ugh, your such a..."

"Such a what?"

"Such a...a Malfoy!" She yelled, then she pushed her way past him and walked into her room. He stood in the middle of her balcony looking after her. She re-emerged, this time with her backpack flung over her shoulder.

"And what the fuck did you do to Cindie?"

"Well, if you rearrange those words, you'll get it." Hermione was silent, so he did it for her.

"And what did fucking Cindie do to you? Well, thank you for asking Granger, it didn't do much but boost my ego." SHUT UP DRACO! You are never going to score if you keep doing that!

"You-disgust-me." She spit out through clenched teeth, then she turned and left. The bell rang to go to their second class. Draco just smirked and took a detour through her room to get to his. He grabbed his stuff and left.

Good going Draco... maybe you can call her a mudblood bitch and hit her in the head with a broom stick while you're at it! That's the way to a girls heart. Dumbass...

A/N: Muhahaha Hermione is one lucky babe, lmao

Well, ginger snaps to all my reviewers! Giver yourself a round of applause.

Thank you sooooo much, I got oodles of reviews and almost gagged! You guys like the fact I ramble on... that's new... usually I get yelled at for changing the subject so often!

Why didn't the colored ketchup idea ever take off? I myself enjoy eating a green-gooey substance smeared all over my hotdogs. muhahaha that is something I call revolting.

Whoop whoop, well I must be off to write Ch. 5, I have no idea what it is going to be about... Yay! That means we will both be surprised!

I luv you all more than typing, itself!

XxX MoOnIe