Litany of Disclaimers:

Hello, all ye faithful!  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, or whatever it is you want to celebrate.  Keeping track of time in a story is hard for me, but I realized that this story has progressed to right around this time of year.  However, I skipped Christmas! But it's not because I don't celebrate Christmas.  I just didn't write about it.  Maybe I'll add a chapter in right before the first lemon that will incorporate Christmas, but for now, just don't worry about.  Lol.

Anyways, I apologize for lateness! Other fics, finals, holiday stress and a SLOW TORTUROUS writing process were all excuse factors in the pathetic tardiness of this latest chapter.  I beg your forgiveness… and your reviews.  Please don't forget to review! 

I don't own Gundam Wing!

Oh yeah! I also disclaim the lemon!  *disclaims*  As always, kinda detailed but not really.

All right, all right, you can read the story now!  ^_~

Desires of the Heart

Chapter 19

By Zapenstap

            Relena was not able to ask Heero the question she most wanted to.  Three days after he told her not to ask about his missions, he went on one, without telling her anything about it except that he had something to do and would see her in a few days.  Wufei had mentioned nothing of the sort in the bookstore so she wasn't even sure if what had called him away had anything to do with the Preventors.  After that scene in the grocery store, she didn't want to badger him again by asking.

            His absence left her feeling lonesome and disappointed.  She hadn't been so many days without seeing him since her last official visit to the Colonies, and that was before their relationship had gotten serious.  When she left for the Colonies, she had missed him, but this was different.  He had kissed her right before her trip to the Colonies, and she remembered the regret she felt boarding a plane after feeling his hands on her face and his lips on her for the first time, but this past week had been far worse.  Then she had not yet established expectations, but after having sex with Heero, after having sex for the first time with anyone, she felt as if a part of her was wandering lost and unaccounted for in some forgotten place in the world.  He had taken something of her and now she craved the burning touch of his body the way moths did flames. Maybe that made her some kind of sex-fiend but she didn't see how repressing the desire was healthy by contrast.  It seemed natural to want him, and having to live in abstinence from the man she loved and to whom she had so recently given her virginity was a heartrending torture.

            Not that there weren't benefits.  She spent her time alone fighting for her rejected proposal to be brought back to the floor from where it had been buried in committee.   Without Heero to distract her, she found she was able to devote her time to the politics involved, having luncheons with the key officials involved in the proceedings, working on alternate proposals until late in the evening and paying particular detail to her speeches.  After work, she crashed in her own bed without having her night disrupted by Heero's attentions.  She would wake up refreshed and found herself with more time to dress and fuss over her appearance, using the hair products and appliances that she didn't dare store at Heero's house, and still with time left over to make a cup of coffee, go over her notes and prepare for her day.  It was the sort of day she had had before Heero came into her life, but though it was nice to have some time to take care of her own things, she still missed him.  His being away made it clear to her how addicted she had become to him, how in love she was with everything she knew and had experienced of him.  When she found time to go shopping, she spent most of it picking out things to wear that she thought Heero would like to see her in, clothes and makeup and jewelry that she imagined would entice him to hold her and kiss her and make love to her as soon as he returned. 

            As the days passed she began to fret.  Heero's 'day or two' lengthened into a week, and not only did she not see him, but save for one exception, he also didn't call.  The one time came by her initiation.  After the few days he stipulated, she became worried and called him on a Saturday, leaving a message on his phone asking him if he would be back before New Years Eve.  He returned her call on Sunday and confirmed that he would, but the conversation was brief and he volunteered no information about what he was up to.  She was relieved to hear he would be back because they had engagements, but since then it had been several days of silence.  Today was New Years Eve.  And he had not called yet.

            Perhaps his mission, whatever it was, was dangerous and that was why he had been unable to contact her, but when she had talked to him on Sunday he hadn't seemed particularly anxious.  True to her promise, she didn't ask him what he had been doing, only if he was all right.  When she told him she missed him, he told her he missed her too, but she blushed to think how he would react if he knew how much his absence pained her. 

            All she could think about sometimes was how lonely her hours were and how cold her bed was without Heero to occupy it.  She had been sleeping in Heero's bed for over a month, usually with his arms around her and almost never without their doing something.  Even before they actually had sex they had minded about it, the temptation of each other's bodies too much to ignore.  She had always wanted Heero.  His kisses, the feel of his palms brushing back her hair from her face, his smooth hard body and the way his hands and mouth made her ache and arch and shudder violently under his touch were things she could not forget or give up easily.  Four days wasn't very long, but after just having given him her virginity, she wanted at least a phone call.

            It was New Years Eve and they had made reservations at a fancy restaurant in the city center that overlooked the ocean.  Reservations were at eight o'clock and it was almost six thirty.  She couldn't stop looking at the clock.  Heero had not called to either confirm or cancel their engagement.  He probably didn't realize how long it would take her to get ready for a night of dinner and dancing at a prestigious hotspot that was usually booked a year in advance, but was that a good excuse?  It was her connections that had landed them a last minute table and she had been so proud to arrange it, thinking of how wonderful it would be to take Heero to such a lovely, elegant place.  Now, quite suddenly, she was afflicted with doubts.

            Did Heero love her?

            Relena stared at her reflection in the mirror and paused in the middle of applying touch power to her nose.  It was a stupid question.  If Heero did not love her he would not have led her to believe it and they would have taken things more slowly; he would not have asked her to be his girlfriend or bought her flowers or a necklace or made love to her the way he did that weekend. Leaning forward, she touched up her eyes with a golden shimmer eye shadow she had paid an outrageous price for at an expensive boutique and speculated why such an idea occurred to her. What Wufei had said in the bookstore and her time apart from Heero for the last week was making her paranoid.  It was reasonable that she would feel insecure in Heero's absence, especially with what Wufei had told her, but these fears were speculative.  She knew Heero needed to take things slow, that expressing his feelings was new to him and that having a woman in his life was not something he had ever been prepared to handle.  She needed to have patience.

            She would still like to ask him how he felt, but not tonight.  After seeing him for the first time in a week and when they had expensive reservations, she just wanted to enjoy their time together.  Tonight she would use the time to study her own feelings for Heero so that she would know what to say when the time came, probably tomorrow or perhaps the next day.  There was no need for haste and dread and anxiety.  It was probably thinking and obsessing about it in the first place that had planted doubts in her head.  It was strange how easily people were influenced by the opinions of others. Wufei couldn't possibly know anything about her relationship with Heero.

            She reminded herself of the sweet moments they had shared, the desperate hug Heero had given her on the hill and the first kiss he had given her in her office before she had gone on an extended trip.  Come to think of it, when she went away that time she hadn't called him every day.  She had been busy and calls were expensive.  Most likely, this time around it was just Heero who was preoccupied.  She remembered the way he touched her face and held her close and how frequently he reminded her how much he cared.  When he came back she could put aside this insecure nonsense and enjoy his affections.  He had specifically told her that he had not expected to feel the way he felt about her, and though he had not defined those feelings, he had also warned her that he was not accustomed to these kinds of relationships.  Her over-analyzing was uncalled for.

            Supposing that doubt was just part of any relationship, she pushed the problem to the back of her mind.  Her mind and heart and body missed him and it would ruin tonight if she brought up such a serious question.  They would need ample time and a comfortable atmosphere before she could expect someone like Heero to tell her he loved her.  She could wait to bring it up so they could talk about it without added stress.  For now, she just wanted to be close to him again.

            But at seven o'clock Heero still hadn't called and her loving thoughts of him turned quickly to worry.  She knew what his missions might mean and she couldn't keep from wondering if something had happened to him.  What if the phone call she got wasn't from Heero but a hospital or a dispatch from the Preventors?  She could imagine herself running to a hospital in this dress with her hair and make-up done only to see him wounded or dying or unconscious on a hospital table… but no, she was being over imaginative again.  Even so, her heart clenched as she listed all the things that might have gone wrong.  A plane crash, an ambush, a shootout, or perhaps just a delay that was keeping him away from her longer than he had anticipated, but very determinedly she banished the thoughts and returned to focusing on practical matters: her hair and her makeup and her dress.  If something really terrible had happened, it would be in the news and she would get some kind of phone call.  But if not, why hadn't he called?

            The hem of her black velvet dress rustled around her ankles as she stood up from her chair and removed herself from the vanity.  If she thought too much more she was going to start crying, and she was not usually a crier.  She just wished he would call, or had called a long time ago.  Alone in the dark in her own house, dressed for a date on New Years Eve and starving because she was waiting for a late dinner, she felt like a fool.  She wandered around the kitchen in her tall black heels, feeling beautiful but unappreciated as she snacked on a cracker or two and drank a glass of cold water.   Just when she was getting angry and thinking about a glass of wine to settle her nerves, the phone rang.

            "Hello?"  The receiver was cold against her ear and her stomach was tight when she answered.

            "Relena, when do you want me to pick you up?"

            "Heero?"   She was so relieved to hear his voice she didn't know how to react.  Should she be angry, relieved, or just content that he had called?   If she had not already been ready, there wouldn't have been time now, but should she have expected him to know that?  Now that it was in the past, was it worth getting angry over? Did she want to spoil the night by starting it off with a fight?  "Soon," she said, swallowing her feelings.  "There will be traffic and we will have to walk from a parking garage.  I… I thought you would have called sooner.  When did you get back?"

            "Yesterday.  I'm sorry I didn't call."

            Yesterday?  It was like an ice cube in her stomach.  She couldn't think of any words to speak, or even understand what had happened to make her feel so.  It was like a boy, she supposed, to be lazy about communication and not feel the need of calling, but she had been annoyed and lonely and worried.  Now she just felt…

            "Relena?"  He sounded annoyed.  "Are you really angry with me about this?"

            "No," she said quickly.  It surprised her that he would guess when she hadn't said anything, but it wasn't anger she was feeling.  Not exactly.  She didn't know how to describe it and didn't want to try. "No, I was just thinking.  If you're ready you can come pick me up now.  I'm famished."

            "All right. I'll be there in twenty minutes."

            Twenty minutes. 

            She hung up the phone and stared at it for a minute in silence.  Did he not just realize the breach in conduct he had made?  He had almost stood her up, after disappearing for almost a week with only the most minimal amount of explanation, and after she had just given her virginity to him.  Perhaps virginity was overrated, and maybe Heero didn't have any sentiments about it, but she couldn't help feeling… She couldn't describe it.  She was in love with Heero.  She missed him terribly.  Her addiction to him tantamount in her thoughts, but he hadn't called her for more than a day after coming home.  Did that mean anything?  Was he just being Heero?  Or was something else wrong? 

            When Heero came to pick her up she found herself smiling and the emotion was genuine.  His face and figure before her door caused warm waves of emotion to roll through her body.  He looked beautiful to her, alive and touchable and she stepped into his embrace almost before he could say hello.  She pressed her face into his dress shirt and the scent of him filled her nose and warmed her on the inside.  She sighed deeply and felt his hand touch her hair.  Pulling away, she looked up into his face with her arms still around his stomach.  In her head, she had imagined him kissing her on the doorstep for so long and so desperately that they would almost be late for their reservations, but instead he simply shifted out of her reach, walking alone toward the car.

            He stopped when she didn't follow immediately.  "Are you coming?"

            She flushed and hurried down the steps. 

            Despite her best intentions to put aside her dark mood and enjoy herself, she felt unsatisfied.  Just like with their trip to the opera, he made no comment on her appearance, and remembering what he had said then brought back a flash of annoyance that she remembered suppressing that other time.  He did not open the car door for her either, regardless that she was wearing heels and had to hold her dress off the ground with one hand and her handbag in the other.  She managed without his assistance, wondering if she was going to be this angst-ridden and difficult all night.  He was sure to notice and if she complained, his annoyance over what he was sure to see as stupid lapses in chivalry would just made her feel inferior.   She just had to kick this bad mood.

            As they drove to the restaurant, Relena kept her eyes on Heero.  His eyes were intent on the road, sharp and deep and mysterious as always, the expression on his face close to unreadable.  She wondered what he had been up to the last couple days and what he was thinking about.  He seemed a little distant.  She reached for his right hand, entwining her fingers into his and smiled when he turned to look at her.  He returned her smile and squeezed her hand. They continued to drive in silence, but she relaxed, holding his hand and enjoying the comfort level between them.  When Heero drove into the parking garage, she directed him to a spot near the elevator, but once he turned off the ignition, the silence seemed to stretch and deepen.

            "I missed you," she whispered, her breath frosting in the dark.  "Will you tell me where you've been?"

            His hand froze on the wheel as he turned to face her, the light of his eyes glancing up at her from beneath his hair.   She watched him patiently, shivering in her spaghetti strap sleeves as he took a deep breath and turned his torso toward her.  Her mouth parted as his hand leapt to her face, his knuckles caressing her cheek in a gesture that was affectionate and warm and made her forget her worries and anxieties.  "Relena," he whispered in a voice that rumbled softly like thunder in the distance.

            "I'm sorry," she said.  "If you don't want to tell me…"

            "It was just a job.  I did some checkups in Europe for some people.  That's all.  You don't have concern to yourself about it."

            His voice was harder when he explained, his eyes narrowed and focused on something she couldn't see, like he was staring through her.  She touched his wrist, drawing his hand away from her face.  "Heero," she began.  "I want to concern myself.  I'm interested in what you do.  Was it with the Preventors?  Was it dangerous?"

            "It was partly with the Preventors," he replied.  "I didn't actually meet up with them, but we shared information.  No, it wasn't that dangerous."

            "Then why didn't you call me?"

            He blinked at her.  "I did call you."

            "On Sunday, you did, after I called you.  Why didn't you call me any other day?  I was worried, and…" His eyebrows were drawn together in a gesture of puzzlement, his eyes intent on her face as she tried to explain.  She bit her lip.  "Never mind," she said.  She had told herself she wasn't going to start a fight tonight by prying.

            He leaned forward and she felt his lips press against her forehead.  Her eyes closed as his hands pressed against her bare shoulders and his mouth trailed slowly down to find hers, the breath from his body warming her from the inside as he kissed her.  Their knees turned toward each other and they leaned over the gearshift, but just when Relena felt her body start to heat up, Heero pulled away.  He smiled at her and brushed hair from her eyes.  "I didn't know you would be upset," he said quietly.  "Aren't you hungry?  Do you want to go inside?  You look cold."

            She was shivering and nodded mutely. 

            The restaurant bubbled with a life and warmed her to the heart as soon as she stepped into the glitter of the atmosphere.  The lights inside were bright and beautiful, golden chandeliers gleaming down over a circle of tables set mostly for two but also for groups of people.  A small dance floor had been prepared on the inside of the circle of tables and conversation, laughter and the music issuing from a live band filled the room.  The walls all around the outside of the tables were windows made of glass; the view overlooking the entire city in sight of the ocean.  The city itself was alight with festivities, throngs of people moving like schools of fish on the main streets, noisy and alive with vitality, but the black background of a cloudless, winter sky was silent; its dark beauty was reflected in the gentle waves of the ocean, the ripples on the surface making the stars below flicker like candle flames in contrast to the steady torches that gleamed above.   In the hubbub of the festivities, Relena had the sudden impression that she had Heero were more like that sky and that ocean than the people who partied in the streets below.  She smiled to herself at the thought.

            They were recognized by the managing staff, or Relena was at least, and were escorted to their table before a line of patiently waiting customers.  Relena took Heero's arm and walked proudly beside him as they were seated on a rise just out of the innermost circle where they would get an excellent view through the windows and still retain some privacy.  It was the first time Relena had ever celebrated New Years with someone special and she was looking forward to the traditional kiss at midnight, hoping for one that made the one in the car like a raindrop beside a river. 

            Now that she had leisure to study him, Relena drank in Heero's company after his absence from her side.  Part of her wanted to hold him close, to feel the strong warmth of his body against hers.  Though she was looking forward to a night of dinner and dancing and pleasant conversation, part of her knew she was a quiet person and just wanted to return to his bed with the man she loved, to feel him naked and warm and attentive to her needs.  She couldn't help wondering if he had desired her over their separation as relentlessly as she had desired him.  The atmosphere was playing on her nerves and she  felt a little feisty and inventive, willing to please him in new ways if he was open to it, to take their time with the night and their bodies and give special heed to making one another feel beautiful. 

            They ordered champagne and then dinner, planning to drink slowly while they waited to be served.  Under the lights, Relena's skin glowed and the lotion she had rubbed into her arms and neck and shoulders glimmered faintly.  She couldn't tell if Heero was interested in her appearance; he was too good at hiding his thoughts and emotions behind a mask of serious propriety, as was she, but she thought he might be by the way he reached across the table to touch her hand when she purposefully left it lying available to his touch.  For herself, she watched avidly when he removed his coat and slung it carefully over the back of his chair, her eyes tracing the contours of his body beneath his dress shirt and the buttons that hid it from her.

            "I've had an interesting week while you were away," she said when he seemed disinclined to speak.  She unfolded her napkin and laid it gently in lap as he poured her a glass of champagne from the bottle he had ordered to commemorate the occasion.

            "What did you do?" he asked.

            "Do you remember that proposal I worked so hard on over the summer?  The one that was rejected last week?"

            "Yeah."

            "Well I think I've managed to bring it back to the floor.  Possibly in a few days if all goes well.  It's a good proposal."

            "I haven't read it."

            "I could tell you about it," she suggested.

            "You don't have to.  I trust you if you say it's good."

            She smiled and didn't mention it again because he didn't seem terribly interested in hearing about it, but it disappointed her.  Of course, she recognized that there was no reason why he should find politics and proposals terribly fascinating—it was boring work sometimes—but she couldn't deny that it was important to her and she would have hoped that he would at least have pretended curiosity.  However, the lack of it didn't upset her overmuch.  She couldn't expect him to be focused on her life and it seemed onerous to demand that he pretend to be. The night just seemed full of little unsatisfying details, but it was probably just her attitude.  She shouldn't read into things so much.

            Dinner came in a timely manner, but by then Relena was already starting to feel as if she had too much to drink.  Heero had taken only a few sips of his champagne, but Relena had been drinking hers steadily.  She smiled at him too often and her attention wandered a bit, but when her plate arrived, the addition of food in her stomach grounded her sufficiently.  It was a relief.  Relena had never drunk alcohol in Heero's presence before and the thought of his having to deal with her even in a slightly tipsy state was embarrassing.  Normally very controlled and reserved, it was disconcerting to think he might suddenly change his opinion about her. After all, she had a reputation of being graceful, eloquent and serious, especially in public.  Relena firmly set her champagne aside.

            "Heero," she asked as they ate.  "Do you think you'll do missions all your life? Do you have any other ambitions?"

            "I don't know," he said quietly, looking out the window at the ocean and the sky the way she had done, ignoring the celebrations in the street.  "I haven't really thought about it, planning my life I mean."  He turned back to her, his eyes striking her still in her seat and filling her heart with emotions she could not begin to identify.  "What about you?  What do you want?"

            "I want to make a difference in the world," she said, enormously pleased by the question without being able to identify why.  "I take my work seriously, though nothing terribly important is happening at the moment.  Still, I mean for this proposal to go through, and in a few months I will have to take another trip to the Colonies, perhaps for an extended amount of time."

            "That's good," he said.  "The Colonies are still unstable habitats.  They need to know that someone remembers that and is working for their benefit on the Earth."

            "I don't know if I can do it forever, though," she said tentatively.  "Not because I don't love it, but because I had envisioned other things for myself.  I would have to take time off to start a family for example, and it might be necessary to go back to school at some point."

            "I don't think anyone expects you to be at their disposal all the time," Heero told her.  "If you wanted to have children or get a degree, no one would stop you.  You worry about what people think too much."

            She lowered her eyes.  One day she would like to have children.  She had always imagined herself to be a mother someday, to be someone who read bedtime stories and packed lunches, to be someone who held a baby in her arms or a toddler on her knees.  Of course she didn't know what to expect of such an experience, but she had heard that it was a worthwhile one, and Heero was periodically involved in the picture, though she reprimanded herself for it.  It would be stupid to bring up anything like that, and she wasn't thinking about it in any eventual sense.  It was a fantasy, not a goal or an expectation, and there was a long way to go yet before she could really decide such things.  Still, she was curious.  Did Heero have any expectation of a family later in his life?  Perhaps just passing thoughts.

            She finished her dinner and watched Heero finish his with her hands folded in her lap.  Around them, the music was playing and other couples who had finished eating had taken to the dance floor.  She watched them from where she sat, sixteen year old kids who had spent too much on a night like this dancing beside couples who could hardly walk because they were bent with age, yet still managed to dance. 

            "Heero?" she whispered, and then thought better of it.  "Never mind."

            "What?"  He glanced up, looking away from the window at her face.  She was quiet a moment and his eyes narrowed, studying her almost predatorily. "Just say what you're thinking."

            She regarded him wryly, meeting the mystery in his eyes with amusment.  "I could say the same to you, you know."

            "Yeah." It was a simple statement without deference or disclaimer.

            A moment ticked by without speech as Relena struggled with her thoughts.  The music strummed her soul and Heero looked good to her.  She had always replayed in her mind her first, unfinished dance with him.

            "Do you want to dance?"

            He smirked. "Do you want to dance?"

            She blushed and glanced away.  "Not if you don't want to.  I just thought it might be nice, since its New Years Eve and I'm all dressed up and everything.  I thought maybe you would want to."

            "We can dance if you want to dance," he cut in.

            He had a way of making her feel foolish, but even as she blushed he rose gracefully from his seat, laying his napkin down on his chair, and offered her his arm.   Feeling needy but gratified, she took his arm with a demure countenance and allowed him to lead her to the dance floor.  No one glanced at them as they wove their way to a spot where they could move, but Relena suddenly felt beautiful as Heero brushed his hands across the black velvet of her dress and took her gently by the waist. 

            "Where did you learn to dance, Heero?" she asked as he wrapped her free hand in his.

            "It's not very hard."

            "I suppose not," she thought after a moment.  "Especially not for someone who is good at picking things up so easily."

            "You idolize me too much," he said flatly.  "You don't give yourself enough credit."

            "Maybe not," she laughed.  She had meant it in humility, and to pay him a compliment; it was only with him that she felt small, checking herself in order to do him credit.  His answer made her feel awkward, but it also made her feel pleasant, and whatever he said about her idolizing him, he just seemed strong and capable to her.  As the music played, she stepped in a little closer, resting her chin on his shoulder and closing her eyes.  His fingers moved on the small of her back, rippling the material of her dress as he held her close against him.  Even dancing cheek to cheek, Heero Yuy maintained a shield of personal space around him in public, an emotional distance that she wasn't sure even she could break through.  Maybe it was only in her imagination that it existed, but his reaction to the way she touched his shoulder and back were almost stiff in comparison to the tenderness she displayed toward him, and she was one of the most solitary and serious people on the planet.  But she loved him.  She could see who Heero was underneath his barriers and defenses and found there the character of a man she respected above any other.  She couldn't suppress her desire to get him alone.  She wanted to be with him in their own private space, to listen to his heartbeat, to strip off his clothes and break down his defenses so that could get at the core of him.  Stubbornly, she buried her face into his shoulder, holding him to her as the music slowed to an anticipatory beat.

            The countdown to the New Year began a minute before the clock tolled.  Everyone stopped dancing, turning toward the big clock in the corner by the windows, the excitement in the room bubbling out in the words of the partners who laughed and chatted and teased each other into a tizzy.  She and Heero were silent, Relena resting her head on his shoulder as the countdown began.

            When the clock struck midnight, fireworks exploded just outside the windows in a showering burst of color and light.  Cheers rang out throughout the room and down in the city below and the couples in the room threw their arms around each other, women pulling men down by the shoulders and men lifting their girls up by the waists.  Heero hesitated, watching the other people with a darting gaze before turning and bringing his lips to Relena in a kiss that was sweet and beautiful, his hand trailing along the pale arch of her neck.  His other hand touched her cheek gently as he pulled away, smiling as if admiring a piece of artwork that pleased his eye.  She blushed self-consciously and they turned to watch the fireworks.

            There was no reason to stay when the excitement died down and the last flares of red and purple and gold burst before them.  Heero suggested that they try to get out before the crowds and she agreed.  They paid their bill and gathered their things. Heero slung his coat around her bare shoulders, enveloping her in warmth as they walked side by side to the car.  Relena felt as if she shimmered.

            In the parking garage, Heero unlocked the car door while she waited.  As she stood with his coat wrapped around her shoulders, she looked away from Heero briefly, just in time to recognized a familiar face.

            "Quatre?"

            Heero turned from the driver's door, blinking as the blonde head of Quatre Winner emerged from the elevator room.  Quatre saw them at almost the same moment and stopped in his tracks.  Relena was certain he hadn't been at their party.  He must have had an engagement elsewhere in this building.

            Quatre's face brightened into a wide smile.  "Heero!  Miss Relena!"

            "When did you come to Earth?" Heero demanded.  His tone of voice wasn't mean, just intense, the way it always was when he was thinking strongly.  Relena glanced at him, amused by the interaction.

            "I came for the holidays.  I've been on business in the Middle East, but decided to swing by here on my way home.  I was hoping to meet up with one or both of you."

            Heero grunted noncommittally. 

            "It's good to see you, Quatre," Relena said warmly.  "Are you going to be staying in the area for long?"

            Quatre sighed.  "No.  Unfortunately, I have a lot of work waiting for me back home.  But what about the two of you?  What brought you two together for New Years Eve?"

            Relena cast a glance at Heero, understanding suddenly that Quatre was not aware of their relationship.  As neither she nor Heero had had any contact with him, she supposed there was no reason he should, but she was surprised that the rumors hadn't reached him.  Either no one knew to tell him, or Quatre had just been busy lately and hadn't had time for visitors.

            Heero stared at Quatre in silence for several moments.  He did not look at Relena when she looked at him expectantly, and after a moment she began to feel uneasy.  Was he not going to say anything?

            "We're having dinner," Heero said finally.  "Relena is my… girlfriend."

            The awkwardness with which he said it did not escape her, and for a moment Relena's world tipped alarmingly.  She stared at Heero, her boyfriend, and wondered why the title was difficult for him to say.  Was it because this was an old comrade of his and the moment was awkward, or did he feel awkward calling her that?   Come to think of it, she had never heard him say the word since he asked her to adopt it, and yet, there hadn't really been an occasion. 

            The look on Quatre's face was undisguised surprise at first, but then his face broke out into a grin and warmth flooded his eyes, cheering her with its sincerity. "That's wonderful!  I'm very happy for you both.  I guess I just haven't been keeping abreast of the doings of people lately.  Come to think of it, Trowa mentioned something about the pair of you awhile ago.  I guess I didn't catch on."

            Relena smiled back and pulled Heero's coat tighter around her shoulders. Heero must have said something to Trowa at some point, though Heero had not mentioned it to her.  She could tell by Quatre's expression that his happiness was genuine and it pleased her to have his approval. 

            "We should get going," Heero suggested, and Relena murmured her agreement though she wouldn't have minded talking to Quatre longer.  Even with Heero's coat, she was cold and it was a bit of a drive back to Heero's house, especially if there was traffic in the streets.

            "Well, it was good to see you!" Quatre called as Relena opened the passenger door.  She looked back at him over her shoulder as he waved, and shut the door when Heero started the car.  Quatre stood to the side as Heero pulled out of the garage, and Relena smiled at him until she could no longer see him.

            "You acted like you didn't want to talk to him," Relena said to Heero on the drive home.  "Hasn't it been awhile since you've seen each other?"

            "It's not like that," Heero said.  "He's not my friend the way you seem to think.  Quatre has a good head on his shoulders and we fought for the Colonies together, but there's not much more to it.  I didn't know what to say to him."

            She was quiet for a moment, contemplating that.

            "What do you want to do now?" he asked in a hushed voice after a few minutes of silence.

            She turned to look at him.  "I thought we were going back to your place."

            "Okay."

             There was no question or hesitance in his tone, but both the question and answer puzzled her.  All she had been able to think about all night, all week, was the passion she had stored up for him after their unexpected separation and he seemed to be unconcerned by it.  It occurred to her that perhaps he was trying to be considerate of her feelings and not push her into anything even now that they were established as a sexually intimate couple.  After all, despite the week he had been gone, they had only had sex three times, and all of that in one weekend.  It just surprised her that he didn't appear as desperate as she felt to be alone together.

            Heero's house was freezing cold.  She shivered more in his living room than she had in the parking garage, clutching his coat around her shoulders as he obligingly stoked a fire in the hearth for her and apologized for having turned off the heat while he was out of town.  While Heero went to reconfigure the heat, Relena helped herself to a glass of wine to warm her blood.  She stood in the kitchen with the glass in her fingers when Heero returned, still dressed in her black velvet and heels.  She glanced at him coyly as he eyed her up and down.

            "You look uncomfortable," he said.

            "Do you have something else I can wear?"

            He nodded and strode with a purpose, but she followed him to his room, leaving the glass of wine half finished on the counter.  Perhaps she had seemed too reserved this evening, seeing him in a public setting after a week without him, making him dress up after a long trip and forcing him to dance with her.   She caught Heero just through the doorway, throwing her arms around his waist and pressing her face to his back to slow him down.  He stopped moving, seeming to hover as she held onto him, and slowly relaxed in her grip.

            "Heero," she whispered.  He turned around to face her, his hands grabbing onto her waist, his fingers digging into her hips.  "I missed you," she said seductively, and slowly lifted one arm around his shoulders, languidly drawing his head down to her so that she could kiss his neck and breathe warm air into his ear.  "I'm cold."

            His hands touched her bare shoulders and his head dropped to her chest, kissing her collarbone where her flesh was exposed to the air.  Her head tilted back, her eyes closing as his hands pushed the straps of her sleeves off her shoulders and his tongue tasted her skin.  Almost immediately she was warm, air escaping her mouth in breathless sighs of longing.

            Heero reached behind her back and pulled the zipper of her dress down, his other hand tugging the bodice below her breasts until only her nude strapless bra covered the top of her.  His arms went around her body, warming her in the cold, and his mouth traced a path from her collarbone to her cleavage until he was able to nuzzle his way under the top of her bra and then pull it down to her stomach with his teeth.

            "Are you still cold?" he whispered.

            A fire roared in the other room and she looked over her shoulder toward it before turning back to meet him in the eye.  It took him a minute to catch on, staring at her in the darkness before he abruptly left her where she stood to grab his comforter and an extra blanket from the bed.  With the front of her dress pulled down to her waist, she walked before him into the other room, removing her bra completely and kicking her shoes off into the kitchen.  While Heero spread the comforter on the floor before the fire, she took another sip from her glass of wine, savoring the sensual, inflaming taste of alcohol.

            Kneeling on the blanket, Heero took his shirt off while she watched, unbuttoning it until he could pull it off his shoulders.  His bare chest glowed golden in the firelight and she swallowed, tracing the contours of his body with her eyes.  He took off his pants while she approached.  Dropping to her knees beside him, she laid her hands on his arm, caressing his skin as she leaned forward to kiss his cheek in an innocent expression of her needs.

            Before Relena could pull Heero's mouth to hers, he grasped her aggressively pushing her down on her back and leaning powerfully over her.  The muscles in his arms flexed under her hands, but he was busy undressing her, sliding his fingers under her dress and dragging it off her hips.  His fingers hooked under the edge of her underwear on his way down, pulling them off too.  He was already hard for her, stiff behind his briefs, which he removed when she touched his stomach, running her hands over his skin with longing eyes.  His eyes were closed, his face scrunched with sexual arousal as his mouth lowered to her breasts.  She closed her eyes too, laying her head back to the floor and breathing meaningless words as his tongue warmed first one breast and then the other.  His hands caressed her thighs, running from her knees to her hips until she parted them to make room for his body.

            "Heero…" she whispered.  She grasped his shoulders and moved her hips under and against him, needing further stimulation.  She gasped as his hand slipped around the back of one of her legs and teased her opening, his mouth still working at one of her breasts.  She wished he would say something, or look into her eyes so that she knew what he was thinking, but when he rubbed up against her clitoris, she stopped worrying about it.  Her hands grasped his shoulders, caressing the back of his neck urgently, her fingers digging into his hair.  His arousal pushed into her stomach and she said his name again as she touched it, dragging her fingers along the top to the tip.  Heero's eyes fluttered and he raised his head to bury his lips in her hair, pulling out of her hand and shifting his weight until he was pushing in between her thighs.  Relena braced herself against his entrance, smoothing her hands down his back as he slid into her.  She moaned his name with a broken voice, crying into his ear as he began a steady rhythm.  His teeth bit into her shoulder, soothed periodically by his tongue and kisses on her neck.  She stared at the ceiling, awash in sensations as he drove against her, and felt herself coming before she expected.  As she shuddered through a swift and sudden release, Heero's wordless petitions found their way into her ear. It took him longer to come, and she held onto him into the process, kissing his face and running her hands along his body, watching his expression tighten until he climaxed.

            When he collapsed over her, breathing deeply, she found herself thinking, thoughts cascading into her head from no source she could identify.  He never kissed her, she realized, and rarely looked at her face.  Even now he was lying half asleep beside her, face down on the blanket.

            "Heero," she whispered, touching his jaw with her fingers and turning his face toward her.  "Why won't you look at me?  Open your eyes."

            He opened them when she commanded him too, and they were blurred with tired tears, but as soon as he met her face he shut them.  She stared at him for a moment, half propped on her elbow, trying to sort through her confusion of thoughts and feelings that had been ricocheting like a pinball all night.  Or had it been longer.  She caressed his face, her chest tight with an anxiety she could not identify.

            "I'm just tired," he said, and shifted so that he could lay his head on her chest like a pillow.  "Are you still cold?"

            "No," she said.  He pulled the extra bit of blanket over their bodies, wrapping them in it in as intimate a way as she could conceive to desire, but she still could not see his face.  She didn't know what she was feeling anymore.

Please review! As a Christmas present for me? Please?