When we last left our gender-bending hero, he had been transformed into an unwilling werewolf!
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"NOOOOOOOOO! This can't be happening!"
He took a deep breath. "Okay, Ranma, think! What could have done this? Akane's cooking? No, even she isn't stupid enough to put Rogaine in sukiyaki. The ghoul? Or the freak? No, not them, either. They're CAPABLE of something like this, but they wouldn't go this far just as a prank. Then who?"
Ranma closed his eyes and gritted his teeth, trying to remember if anything really out of the ordinary (for him) had happened that day.
"OH!" he gasped.
"Your days of tormenting me are over!"
"G-G-Gosenkugi!" Ranma growled, "I'm gonna get you for this! But... first I'd better see Dr. Tofu about a cure."
Ranma stealthily crept out of the bathroom window and into the Tendo's backyard.
"The fewer people that know about this, the better," he mumbled.
"Stop where you are, Saotome!"
"Urk! Who's there?" Ranma demanded.
The noise had come from above, and Ranma hopped onto the roof to investigate. What he saw shocked him into silence. In the moonlight, a somewhat changed Ryoga Hibiki glared at him with crimson eyes full of hate. Ryoga seemed unusually pale, and he was wearing a yellow cape with black polka-dots on it. What was most surprising, however, were his fangs: around 1 to 1.5 inches long, and sharp as daggers.
"Ryoga... is that you, man?" Ranma finally choked out.
"How dare you even ask, when you're obviously the one who did this to me?" Ryoga roared. "You were the one who got me cursed at Jusenkyo, but turning me into a pig wasn't enough for you, was it? No, you decided to double my misery by slipping some kind of 'potion of the undead' into my food at supper!"
The Lost Boy smirked slightly. "While it does me good to see that you apparently took some of your own medicine by mistake, that isn't good enough. I'll see you suffer!"
Ryoga suddenly levitated 15 feet up into the air, and it was plain to see that he had murder in his eyes.
"Whoah, hold on, you jerk!" Ranma yelled. "I didn't do nothin'! It's all Gosenkugi's fault, I tell ya'!"
Ryoga, however, was too enfuriated to listen to reason. "No more excuses! YAAAAAAGGGHHHH!"
Ryoga shot through the air like a bullet toward Ranma. The pigtailed werewolf braced himself and prepared his counterattack. Ryoga lashed out at Ranma the second he was within striking distance, but the younger Saotome sidestepped and landed a devastating punch to Ryoga's stomach. The bandanna-wearing vampire made a slight choking noise and collapsed in a heap.
"Wow... Did I hit him that hard?" Ranma wondered. He looked down at his hand and gasped in horror when he saw that it was dripping with blood.
"Wha-what have I done? Hold on, Ryoga; I'm coming!" Ranma rushed toward his defeated rival, hoping he was not too late to save him.
"Please, please, please don't di-HUH?"
The should-be-dead Ryoga had hopped to his feet, catching Ranma off guard! With a smirk, he kicked the dumbfounded Ranma off the rooftop and into the fish pond below.
(BUBBLE, BUBBLE, BUBBLE... SPLASH!)
Out of the water arose a red-furred "she-wolf-type" Ranma, and she was not happy. "What's with Ryoga?" she thought angrily. "I punched a freaking hole in his stomach, for crying out loud, and then he got up like it was nothing!"
Ranma calmed down and noticed her own changed physique. "Hmmm... looks like my old curse is still in effect..." she muttered.
Ranma's train of thought was derailed when Ryoga hopped down to ground level.
"Heh, heh," Ryoga gloated, "it looks like the new curse you gave me could prove the end of you."
"You shut up!" Ranma exploded. "I already told you that this ain't my fault, but it looks like I'm gonna have to beat some sense into you before you'll listen!"
Both fighters assumed a fighting stance, but were startled by a distant rumbling noise.
"What's that?" Ryoga asked, puzzled.
Ranma put her head near the Tendos' wall and listened. Her ears twitched back and forth, and a nervous look came over her face. "I don't know," Ranma gulped, "but it's coming this way!"
All of the sudden the wall exploded, throwing Ranma several feet back!
"PIGTAILED GIRL!" shreiked the golem that stood where the wall used to be.
"K-K-Kuno?" Ranma gasped in disbelief.
"Oh, my dearest, I am too late!" Kuno said sadly, tears flowing from his eyes. "That vile sorcerer Ranma Saotome has enchanted you as well! Fear not, for I love thee as thou art, and we shall get through this... TOGETHER!"
With that, Kuno glomped onto Ranma (somehow, he didn't seem to notice her bones popping or her face turning blue).
"Get.. off... me... you... goon!" she gasped.
Ryoga sat down, enjoying the show and wishing he had popcorn. Ranma was about to pass out when she felt Kuno's grip disappear, allowing the world to come back into focus. The wolf-girl felt someone holding her hand, and she involuntarily jumped when she looked up. She saw right off that it was Mousse, but (like everyone else lately) he had changed significantly. He still had long, black hair and his old facial features, but he was covered from head to toe in green scales! Also, he had webbed feet and hands with claws on the end of them. However, the amorous look Mousse was giving her was creeping Ranma out much more than his new appearance...
Mousse smiled at Ranma lovingly and said, "I just saved you from the Frankenstein monster. I'd say that deserves a date, Shampoo!"
Suddenly, Ranma's foot was buried in Mousse's face.
"Mousse, put your glasses on!" she yelled. "I'm Ranma!"
"Ranma? You didn't have to kick me..." he muttered. "Well, this is just as well because you're the person I came here to see. We have to get an antidote from Gosenkugi!"
Relieved to find somebody who didn't think he was the culprit, Ranma smiled slightly. "Let's do that as a last resort. First, I want to see if Dr. Tofu can do anything about this."
"'Fraid not," a voice from behind Ranma said.
The red-haired lycanthrope turned to see the M.D. in question holding a kettle of hot water in his hand. He poured some on Ranma's head and explained, "Mousse has already been to see me."
He turned to Ryoga and said, "I can assure you that Ranma isn't the cause of your current problems. Will you join Ranma, Mousse, and I?"
While Ryoga only trusted Ranma as far as he could throw him, he had great respect for the kind Dr. Tofu and decided to take his word. Ryoga nodded solemnly, and the four were about to enter the dojo when a voice cried out after them.
"Wait!" Kuno gasped. He crawled out of the rubble of the wall where Mousse had thrown him and rushed toward them. "I am also very desirous to rid myself of this curse. Will you help me?"
Ranma's exasperated expression melted away as he got his first good look at the new Kuno in the light. He was still in his old Kendo uniform, but his muscles had bulged so that the sleeves had torn off, and the rest of the outfit was a very tight fit. His skin was a sickly light blue, he had a bolt sticking out of his neck, and he had a vacant look in his eyes (wait... that's not a change).
On the one hand he deserved it, but nonetheless... Ranma couldn't help feeling sorry for the poor shmuck.
"Okay..."
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Once they were all inside the dojo, Dr. Tofu began to explain the situation. "Okay, guys, I know that you feel a bit panicked at the moment, but please hear me out. If I'm not mistaken, you four have fallen prey to the 'wicka-wacka-froo-hoo' spell!"
"The wicka-wacka-what?" Ranma blurted.
"Wicka-wacka-froo-hoo," repeated Dr. Tofu. "It's a voodoo curse that causes its victim to transform into whichever Western monster suits that person's body type and personality best."
"I don't suppose you know how to cure it?" Ryoga asked hopefully.
"Nope. Not a clue. Hahahaha!"
(Cue four massive, monster-sized faceplants)
Tofu became very serious again. "In all seriousness, boys, I'm afraid I can't help you. I'm an expert at Eastern medicine, not Western magic; having me tamper with it would really be playing with fire. In fact, I think the only person knowledgeable enough in the black arts to cure you is the one who caused this in the first place."
"Gosenkugi!" Ranma growled.
"Right," nodded Dr. Tofu.
"The trouble is finding him," said Mousse. "His address isn't listed in the phone book; I already checked."
Dr. Tofu's face darkened visibly. "This is bad. He needs to found quickly!"
"Huh? Why is that?" Ryoga asked nervously.
"Well," Tofu answered, "I hate to tell you this, but... after the first night, the curse's effects become permanent. If you haven't taken the antidote before the sun rises tomorrow, you can kiss your normal bodies goodbye!"
"What are we sitting around for, then?" Ranma yelled, wide-eyed. "Let's go find him right now!"
Ranma, Ryoga, and Mousse bolted for the door, but Kuno's voice stopped them. "Hold! Before we embark upon this wild goose chase, I would like to run a quick errand."
"Now? Can't it wait?" Ryoga yelled impatiently.
Kuno shook his head. "I can assure you, this is of the utmost importance. A conniving fiend has invaded my home, and I should like to get it back and teach the fool a lesson!"
"Come again? How did this happen, anyway?" Mousse asked.
Kuno growled, "The scoundrel deceived me by masquerading as a pizza delivery boy. Before I knew it, he had put Sasuke into some sort of trance and locked me out of my own home! Had I not been so concerned about the welfare of Akane Tendo and the pigtailed girl, I would have dispatched the cretin then and there. That voodoo doll necklace he wore should have made me realize that he was no mere delivery boy..."
Kuno looked up to see large sweatdrops on everyone's face. "What? What did I say?"
Before everyone could make up their minds as to whether they should hug or kill the sword-wielding golem, they heard a sound that made their hair stand on end. All eyes were on the door to the dojo; the handle slowly turned, and the door made a creaking sound as it swung open...
END OF CHAPTER 3
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Hello again! I bet you all thought that this story was dead; luckily, it was just in a coma. Hahaha! Seriously, though, I'm terribly sorry that I took so long to update. College is mostly to blame, but laziness probably had something to do with it as well.
No worries, though! I am a changed man (author thumps his chest) who will no longer shirk his duty to finish what he starts. This story now has my full attention, and I won't start any new ones until it gets finished. Please review, and I'll do my best to meet your (hopefully) high expectations. Toodles!
