Disclaimer: I do not own these characters as JK Rowling has all rights to her characters as they are hers. I'm just using these things for my own morbid pleasures.
A/N: ((...Dream Sequence...))
Starlollie: Hopefully this will keep you even more tense ;) LOL
Natsuko-Dai: Hope this gives you a little more insight into the scheme of things.
OKEDOKE: I hope you continue to enjoy the story!
If You're Not The One
Chapter Nine: Breaking Apart
Sirius groaned as he felt extra weight being added to his side of the bed. When the weight didn't leave he cracked open an eye. Seeing a blurry figure he blinked a few times before looking at the person sitting on the edge of his bed.
"Sleep well?" James asked almost courteously.
"Oi James! Ge' off!" Sirius demanded groggily, trying hard to ignore the hangover that was starting to hit him by pulling the blankets over his head.
"Not until I give you yer message."
"Message?" Sirius asked confused, peaking out from under the blankets.
"From a one Remus J. Lupin," James waited till he knew he had Sirius' full attention before continuing. "As of now consider you're relationship with him terminated."
"Terminated?"
"Yeah, as in you're through, no longer together," James said tapping Sirius' head with each point. "He dumped you."
"Wh-why?" Sirius asked, shoving James' hand away.
James merely pointed to the other side of Sirius' bed before walking away without another word. Sirius turned his head and saw the blonde seventh year he had been drinking with asleep next to him, and all of the events of the night before came flooding back to him. His head swam from all the thoughts in his head, intensifying his hangover. He slipped his boxers on just in time before nausea hit him hard and he ran to the bathroom.
When he came back the girl was awake. She greeted him with a hug and a kiss which he shook off immediately and told her to get out. She got dressed quickly, and left in a huff. Sirius promptly fell back onto his bed and passed out again.
((Sirius shouted for Remus not to leave as he watched him fading into the darkness. Knowing it wasn't doing any good Sirius ran after him, but Remus remained out of his reach and continued to fade. Exhausted, Sirius dropped to his knees crying, begging Remus not to leave. He shouted that he loved him, but all he got in return was a shake of Remus' head before Remus disappeared entirely.))
Sirius sat bolt upright in bed, tears pricking at his eyes. Shaking off the last of his sleep, but still dazed from the dream it took Sirius a moment to notice that familiar golden eyes were looking at him. Slowly they became clearer and he saw that Remus was staring at him. Upon seeing Sirius awake however, Remus turned and bolted from the room, but not before Sirius caught sight of the tears that had started falling from his eyes.
For the rest of the year Sirius hardly saw hide nor hair of Remus. The only time he saw Remus was while they were sitting their exams, and while he slept. If by chance they met somewhere Remus would turn in the other direction without a second thought. Sirius felt completely horrible about what he had done to Remus, but kept the majority of his feelings at bay by drowning himself in liquor and drugs.
James made it a point to drag Sirius to his exams, and to lecture him about drugs when ever he got the chance, but Sirius still didn't want to hear it. James was about the only one of his friends still talking to him. Though even that was more of an acquaintance type socializing than what they had before. Even Peter seemed to make an effort to not hang around him, not that that bothered Sirius in the least.
What did hurt was when he saw James and Lily getting all lovey dovey. It reminded him too much of how he and Remus had been for those few months they had been together. They had been some of the happiest times he ever had. Thankfully James and Lily decided to sit apart on the Hogwarts Express on the way to King's Cross.
"Padfoot..." James said, and waited for Sirius to stop staring out the window and look at him before continuing. "When you're ready I'll be here."
Sirius didn't need to ask what James meant, so he nodded. Sometimes he thought about taking James up on his offer of help, but then he'd remember what he'd done and go right back to the beginning. He didn't think things would ever be the same again. James had good intentions but nothing could make him feel better about things, or even about himself. He could only hope to forget. Forgetting was good, and he already had a way to do that.
"Do you think he'll ever get better?" Remus asked. No matter how hard he tried he couldn't stop caring about Sirius. He couldn't stop loving him. Even if he hurt more than he could say, he still loved him.
"In time he will," Lily assured her friend as they headed back to King's Cross.
"I don't like seeing him like this Lils," the werewolf pouted, pulling his knees up to his chin. "It scares me."
"He'll come to his senses you'll see," the red-haired Gryffindor said, reaching across to him and squeezing his hand gently. "He'll get the help he needs."
"Even if he does I don't know if I can forgive him," Remus said sadly, averting his eyes. "I want to, but I don't know if I can."
Remus was hurting beyond belief. He knew Sirius' actions weren't all purposeful, but it still hurt. Just looking at him or thinking about him made tears come to his eyes. Remus was utterly thankful to Lily who spent a lot of time comforting him, and just being his friend in his time of need. The times they spent talking when they got the chance helped him to forget the pain, for a time at least. He was quite glad when she told him that she was now completely smitten with James It was good to know that at least a couple of his friends were happy.
As the train slowed to a stop Remus began wondering how he'd make it through the summer. This was going to be the worst summer yet, he knew.
TBC...
