"Why, you little... how dare they?" Gosenkugi screeched angrily. He had been watching Ranma and the others with a security camera ever since they had arrived, but Kuno's all-out assault had come as something of a shock.

"How did they notice the spell on the contract?" the voodoo practicioner wondered aloud. "I was sure that they would be much too stupid to figure it out... Oh, well. I still hold all the aces in this little game of cards! This house has more traps than a funhouse, and I'll be sure to use every last one of them."

Gosenkugi chuckled as he imagined the torment he was about to put his arch-enemies through. He could still barely believe his string of good luck; normally, his plan would have backfired in some horrible fashion by now. Maybe it was the Haitian goodies, maybe it was the fact that it was October 31st... Whatever the reason, Gosenkugi's ol' black magic was working for once, and he was going to take advantage of it to the fullest.

"Get ready, Ranma Saotome," he chuckled malevolently. "You're about to experience what real pain feels like..."

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

"I hate to sound like a broken record, but... where the heck am I now?"

Other than a slight echo, there was no answer to Ryoga Hibiki's question (not that he expected one). After Kuno had sent the front door flying, Ryoga had taken flight and slipped into a conveniently-opened third floor window. He was very pleased that he had managed to get inside without getting lost, but now the vampire found himself in an unfamiliar dark corridor. He could make out the faint outline of a door at the end of the hall, and (with no better ideas) decided to head for it. Finally, he reached the green door in question. Ryoga was relieved to see that it looked fairly ordinary: no death's heads, black roses, or anything of that sort; just your average, run-of-the-mill door.

"Okay, then. Let's see what's behind door number one..." he whispered with a slight grin.

Ryoga turned the latch and walked inside, allowing the door to close behind him. It took his eyes a few seconds to adjust to the darkness, but once they did he saw something that brought a grimace to his face. In front of him was a large green wall with one opening in it, and through that opening he could see that the walkway bridged into several different paths. These walls didn't quite touch the roof, leaving just enough space to peep over. A sinking feeling in his chest, Ryoga hopped up to get a better view. What he saw confirmed his worst suspicions: he had somehow wandered into the "Kuno Family Labyrinth"!

Ryoga dropped back down to the ground and angrily bewailed his luck. "A maze! Why does it ALWAYS have to be a (insert expletives) maze?"

Ryoga took another look at the endless series of walls, twists, and turns and shook his head in disgust. He muttered, "I don't have time for this. I'm outta-- HUH?"

Turning back around, Ryoga saw to his further mortification that the "average wooden door" he had entered through looked like a bank vault from this side! He ran over to the door and tried to open it; in line with his current string of bad luck, it was locked and, even with his inhuman strength, Ryoga couldn't budge it. Fighting the urge to panic, Ryoga took a deep breath and tried to collect his thoughts.

"Okay, okay. Let's just calm down and take a look at this situation. This door is made of reinforced steel, so leaving the way I came isn't an option. Besides, that would be heading backwards. I guess I could try the maze, but I would be lucky to find my way out by my 70th birthday, much less daybreak. I can't go out the door, I can't navigate the maze... is there some other option I'm missing?"

As Ryoga's brain began working full-steam, he started tapping his forehead with his index finger. He finally noticed this and stopped, chuckling slightly at this old nervous habit. Just then, inspiration hit him like a load of bricks.

"Wait! That's it!" he exclaimed triumphantly, raising his index finger to eye level. "Why wander through a maze when I can make a path straight through it?"

With his confidence restored, Ryoga raced toward the first wall and rammed his finger into it.

"Bakusai Tenketsu!"

BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

Wall after wall were utterly destroyed by the bandanna-wearing vampire and his "famed finger of doom". Even more amazingly, his path of distruction was a straight line rather than a circle; whether this was luck or some kind of "vampire sonar" is anybody's guess.

"All right," Ryoga panted as he ran, "I've got to be nearly to the center by now. This isn't all that bad..."

Just then, Ryoga noticed a slight whirring sound heading in his direction. He instinctively dodged just in time to avoid being halved by the mysterious projectile.

"Who's there?" Ryoga angrily demanded. "Show yourself!"

A faint rumbling sound reached the vampire's sensitive ears, and he paled visibly when he realized that it was the sound of footsteps. Perhaps he shouldn't have been so intent on the heavy-footed menace, however, for if he had been paying closer attention, he might have noticed a familiar whirring sound...

ZZZZZTTT!

"AAAARRGGGHHH!" Ryoga screamed in agony as the object severed his left arm. He clutched his bleeding shoulder in pain, but was greatly surprised at just how quickly the pain faded. Was this some sort of side effect of his new curse? Not that it mattered much; regardless of how much or little it hurt, the fact of the matter was that the directionless lad was missing an arm.

Just as the spinning object was about to round a corner, a giant hand reached out and caught it in mid-air. Apparently, the weapon that had left Ryoga one arm short was a humongous (now-bloody) battle axe. The huge hand was soon joined by a frightening creature of similiar proportions. It had the body of a giant man wearing ancient armor, but it sported the head of a bull. Ryoga's first thought was "Pantyhose Taro", but he quickly remembered another such creature that he had read about in a book on Greek mythology.

"A... Minotaur?" he gasped, barely able to believe his eyes. "The Kunos are soooooooo weird!"

The monster raised its axe threateningly. Ryoga realized that it didn't want to play charades, so he quickly drew his titanium umbrella with his remaining arm. It was an action performed just in time, as this monster possessed amazing speed for something its size. Ryoga barely had time to blink before the monster was right on top of him. It tried to slice Ryoga in two with an overhead swing, but the lost boy wasn't about to go down without a fight. It took every ounce of his inhuman strength, but he somehow managed to block the attack with his umbrella. The Minotaur narrowed its eyes in anger; it now realized that it would have to put out a little more effort to defeat this one.

It stopped its downward pressure on the comparitavely tiny vampire, but what Ryoga at first mistook for a break in the fighting was only a prelude to an all-out offensive. The Minotaur started hammering the beleaguered pig-boy with strike after strike from his huge axe. Finally, it caught him off-guard with an upward swing, knocking Ryoga off his feet and sending his parasol flying across the room. As soon as the lost boy hit the ground, he scrambled to his feet and reached for his umbrella, finding only air.

"What? Where did it...?" Ryoga wondered. A glance underneath the Minotaur's feet answered his question, but hardly in the way he would have liked. With a sinking feeling in his stomach, Ryoga realized that he was now utterly defenseless; without his metal umbrella to shield him, the man-beast only needed one good hit to do him in.

"Boy, I'm really in for it now!" Ryoga shuddered as the Minotaur edged closer. "Okay, Ryoga. This is the part in the fight where Ranma always comes up with some brilliant plan to beat his opponent. He's an idiot, so how hard can this be? C'mon, brain cells; THINK!"

Although it may have been a delusion brought on by severe stress, Ryoga could have sworn that he heard a little voice saying, "Sorry, but we can't answer your question right now. Please leave a message at the sound of the beep." Regardless, it became painfully obvious to the lost boy that improvisation wasn't his strong suit. Just when he was about to give up hope, something rather unusual happened: he suddenly felt a strong tingling sensation in his left shoulder/arm socket. In fact, it almost felt like something was growing...

"Could it be?" Ryoga wondered, staring at his shoulder in fascination. "Only one way to find out, I guess. I just hope I can stall this freak long enough for this to work..."

By now the Minotaur was standing only a few feet away, his axe raised in preparation for the final blow. "Die," he said in an oddly-monotone voice. With that, he began his final strike, intending to decapitate the pesky intruder.

"Hey, Beautiful!" Ryoga screamed, barely able to hide his panic.

The Minotaur stopped in mid-swing, raising his eyebrow.

"Uhhh... That is not what I meant to say," Ryoga thought, mortified. "Oh, well. It stopped him, and that's the important thing."

Clearing his throat, Ryoga continued before he lost the monster's attention. "I... um... have a riddle for you. Okay, here goes: what do vampires and lizards have in common?"

The Minotaur lowered his axe and scratched his head. He seemed unable to talk, but this plainly meant, "Gee, I don't know. What do they have in common?"

The tingling sensation in Ryoga's shoulder was now overwhelming, and he grinned as he felt it climax. Suddenly, a new arm burst forth where the old one had been!

"Both can regenerate lost limbs!" Ryoga roared triumphantly. He noticed the Minotaur's shocked expression and knew that the moment had come to strike. Before the monster could guard itself, Ryoga connected with a ridiculously-powerful uppercut to the chin. The Minotaur flew off its feet, tiny pieces of metal flying everywhere.

"Hahaha! I sure showed him," Ryoga gloated."Why, look at all of those nuts and bolts flying out of his neck, and... WAIT A MINUTE! Nuts and bolts? Then he must be a... robot?"

Armed with this new knowledge, Ryoga set out to finish this fight once and for all. The Minotaur, despite the smoke pouring from his throat, was back on his feet and armed with his axe. This time, however, Ryoga was ready for him. The bull-man brought his axe down where Ryoga had just been, but it realized too late that the attack had backfired. Using the giant weapon as a springboard, the vampire launched himself upward toward the giant's head. The last image the Minotaur ever saw was Ryoga shooting toward him, his index finger raised...

"Bakusai Tenketsu!"

As Ryoga's finger imbedded itself in the exposed circuitry on the Minotaur's neck, cracks began spreading like wildfire across the monster's body. The room was rocked by a huge explosion; when the dust settled, it revealed a lone figure standing on top of what appeared to be a scrap heap. Flashing a toothy grin, Ryoga blew the "smoking gun barrel" that was his index finger.

"That's one; one down. Ah, hah, hah!" he chuckled.

Ryoga's brow furrowed. Why had he felt the need to talk in a Transylvanian accent, much less like he was teaching math to little children? Well, he didn't have time to worry about that right now. Finding Gosenkugi was priority number one!

With his resolve strengthened, Ryoga continued his path of destruction through the maze and toward the door he knew lay on the other side...

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Meanwhile... inside the plumbing of Castle Kuno...

"I've never seen so many twists and turns!" Mousse thought, exasperated. "It's a good thing that I took this way instead of Ryoga..."

Despite the labyrinthine nature of the pipes, the myopic merman was making excellent time. As soon as Kuno had demolished the front door, Mousse took off running, reached the moat, and dove right in. To his great suprise, the normal "turn into a duck" routine didn't occur! Apparently the scaled skin he received because of the "wicka-wacka-froo-hoo" spell made him completely watertight, so the old water-based curse was null and void. Mousse quickly realized that this was to his advantage, as his new mer-body was able to slide through the water at speeds that his duck form could only envy. In a matter of moments, he had located the plumbing duct and slipped inside.

Thanks to a sharp eye (he kept his glasses on), several educated guesses, and a whole lot of luck, Mousse had managed to wind his way through the house. However, he now found himself in a narrow section of pipe that branched into two directions, and he wasn't quite sure which path to take. As puzzled as he was about what direction to go, he was much more curious as to why anyone would hang a signpost here...

It read:

Left - Water Purification Area; HIGHLY DANGEROUS TO SWIMMERS!

Right -Mr. Turtle's Peaceful Pond

"Mr... Turtle?" Mousse wondered aloud. (Although he didn't notice it, this curse apparently allows him to speak underwater, as well as breathe.) "Well, I'm not entirely sure what that means, but a 'peaceful pond' sounds a whole lot safer than trying to swim through some giant water filter."

His mind made up, Mousse began swimming down the tube leading to the lair of the friendly-sounding turtle. He finally reached the exit and swam for the surface, but what he saw when he got there confused him.

"What the... this doesn't look like a pond," he muttered, scratching his head. The room he was in looked like some sort of large water tank, with no land on the sides. In fact, the only place to stand was a small balcony-like structure high above him. The way the room was set up reminded Mousse of something, but he couldn't seem to remember exactly what that was. He was about to go back the way he came, when he felt a slight ripple in the water.

(Cue "Jaws" music)

Mousse's scales turned a much lighter shade of green as he realized what "Mr. Turtle's Peaceful Pond" really was.

"I'm in a... (gulp)... feeding tank..." he moaned.

Just then, he felt the water behind him surging forth. Mousse whirled around to find himself face-to-face with the gaping maw of an enormous crocodile! The croc was about to make itself a nice fish sandwich out of the merman, but Mousse had other plans. He grabbed the monster by the jaws and, using his newfound supernatural strength, managed to keep them from snapping shut.

"Mr. Turtle, I presume?" Mousse panted, straining under the pressure exerted by the croc's mighty mouth.

As if in answer, Mr. Turtle switched tactics out of nowhere. Mousse was thrown completely off-balance as the huge reptile suddenly began spinning at dizzying speeds.

"CRICKEY!" Mousse screamed as he struggled to maintain his grip on Mr. Turtle's powerful jaws. As the croc's teeth began to cut into his skin, Mousse realized that he couldn't keep this up much longer.

"There has to be some way to stop this walking pair of boots..." he thought with panic. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a piece of pipe that jutted out from the wall slightly. Inspiration hit him like a bolt of lightning; he knew how to stop Mr. Turtle, if he could just pull it off...

He placed one of his feet on the croc's bottom jaw, freeing one arm to do its job. He then pulled a grappling hook out of ... um... wherever he keeps all of his stuff, and hurled it toward the pipe. Luckily for our half-blind hero, it caught on the first try. Next, he tied the other end around Mr. Turtle's snout. Now all he had to do was hang on a few more seconds...

Mr. Turtle was feeling very pleased with himself. He had managed to ensnare this huge fish, and couldn't wait to chow down. Just when he felt his victim's hold weakening, Mr. Turtle was shocked to come to an abrupt, jarring halt. What had happened?

"Hahaha! Serves you right, you overgrown lizard!" Mousse laughed, pointing at the trapped crocodile. Mr. Turtle was covered from top to bottom in steel wire, giving the appearance of Godzilla in a cocoon. The croc angrily thrashed about, but to no avail; he was about as trapped as trapped can be.

Mousse swam over to the furious reptile and patted it on the head. "Sorry, Mr. Turtle, but you brought that one on yourself. You shouldn't have spun around so much, epecially when you were wrapping yourself up in steel wire. Well, goodbye old chum. I hope you make a beautiful butterfly!"

Still laughing, Mousse turned and swam back through the opening whence he came, leaving a very embarassed crocodile behind...

END OF CHAPTER 5

-----------------------------------

Well, that's it for this installment. I really feel the need to apologize for how slowly I've been updating. You see, I was suffering from writer's block for quite a while, and I recovered just in time to get shut down by this site's administration for a week (a "script format" violation on an old story I had forgotten about). I hope that explains why it took me so long to update, and I hope to be a little more timely in the future.

Anyhoo... please drop me a review. Be sure to stick around for the next action-filled chapter, okay?