Disclaimer: I do not own these characters as JK Rowling has all rights to her characters as they are hers. I'm just using these things for my own morbid pleasures.
A/N: For those who like angst get ready for this!
the-mpreg-spirit: Well its about to get sadder
HappyDappyDrunk: Here's another look into what's happenin.
Angel4eva3: Here's the update you asked for. Enjoy!
PadfootsLittleGirl: Here's another kicker for ya!
Becca: I'm glad you enjoy my story. Hopefully you'll enjoy this chapter too.
Padfootxxforever: Well here's another update for you to read.
Natsuko-Dai: It's about time u reviewed!!! LoL jk. But as promised here's the next chapter.
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If You're Not The One
Chapter Ten: Running and Hiding
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Sirius spent the first few weeks of his summer break higher than he had ever been before. It was getting harder and harder to drown out his family so he had to start taking larger doses of everything. By the end of his third week at home he was out of Firewhiskey, and began tearing apart his room in hopes of finding a hidden stash of drugs.
Sirius was giving up hope as he turned to his school trunk as a last resort. In his anger he up turned it, spilling everything out. He began rifling through it all when he came upon some gold wrapping. Pausing in his search Sirius reached out and brushed away the stuff on top of it, revealing the music parchment Remus had given him. Stunned, he reached out and picked them up. He had all but forgotten them.
Staring down at the gift emotions flooded Sirius and tears spilled down his cheeks unbidden. He didn't try to stop it, he just let it come. He sat there crying for what seemed to be hours. Hugging them to himself Sirius finally halted his crying, wiping his eyes with his free hand. He took a deep breath, and resolved to the idea in his mind he got up and re-packed his trunk. Sirius picked up his guitar case, and without another thought he dragged his trunk to the kitchen and flooed himself away.
Stepping out into the homey kitchen he knew so well, Sirius brushed himself off and made his way quietly into the other room where he found who he was looking for.
"James..." he said getting his friends attention. "I need your help."
Smiling from ear to ear James nodded.
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"Remus dear you need to eat something," Mrs. Lupin insisted for what seemed the hundredth time that summer.
"I'm not hungry," the worn werewolf murmured, pushing the plate of food away from him.
"You've barely ate for weeks. You need to eat something. Please dear," she pleaded.
"I'm not hungry," he repeated before getting up from the table and heading back to his room.
Since he had gotten home Remus liked to sit in the dark of his room. The only light came from the window, which he covered with curtains during the day. The darkness was his companion now. In the darkness no one could see him cry. In the darkness no one could see how broken he was. Remus had thought he could get over Sirius, but he felt so lonely without him. So empty without him.
He would sit at his window for hours letting the moonlight fall on the picture he kept of Sirius. The one that showed the smile he loved so much. The one he couldn't stop staring at. He wanted to throw his arms around him and never let him go. He wanted to forgive him so bad. Sirius had lied to him, and cheated. How could that be forgiven so easily? Especially when he had gone through it all before. How could he ever trust Sirius again?
That night was the full moon, and Remus was dreading it. Remembering how bad his transformations were after Eric he could only imagine how bad they were going to be now. His last transformations were only kept in check because James and Peter were there. But now they weren't. Peter was off on vacation and James... James was probably spending time with Lily.
Sighing, Remus got up from his window, tucked Sirius' picture under his bed and left for what he was sure would be his doom.
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With help from James and his family Sirius began to stop his drug use, but found it would be harder than he thought. Often he became frustrated and moody, which also came with many other withdrawal symptoms. He had James, and though no one knew it he had Remus as well, to keep him focused. He was making progress however, and hoped soon he would be well again.
In the evenings Sirius would stay awake while James slept. He would retrieve his music paper and write the song that had begun to form in his head. It was no where near being done, but it kept him occupied, and calm. When he wasn't writing, he was thinking of Remus. And when he thought of Remus his heart ached. He would wonder if Remus would ever forgive him, if Remus would just move on. But mostly he would think of how much he loved him. Sirius wasn't sure when he realized he loved the werewolf, just that he did and that was good enough for him, leaving him to sleep peacefully in hopes to dream of his Love.
"Do you think he'll forgive me?" Sirius asked James one day at breakfast.
"Sure he will mate," James said pouring milk over his cereal.
"How can you be so sure?" Sirius asked, uncertain of his friends' confidence.
"Its Moony," James said shrugging, as if that explained everything. Seeing the look on Sirius' face he knew that his friend needed more of an explanation. "He cares too much about you to be mad at you forever."
"Maybe you're right," Sirius said, hoping beyond hope he was.
They ate in silence after that, but was soon interrupted by an owl swooping into the kitchen. It landed smoothly onto the chair next to James, and stuck its leg out.
"That's Remus' owl!" Sirius said recognizing the Lupin's family owl as James undid the note.
James read the letter carefully, blanching as he did so. He read it over again to make sure he had read it right. Sirius noticed James pale and waited for his friend to say something, but he never did. He just stared at the letter he held.
"Well? What's it say?" Sirius asked impatiently. Unable to speak, James held out the letter for Sirius.
James,
We thought you'd like to know we had to take Remus to St. Mungo's. He's in pretty bad shape. Maybe you'd like to come visit him, and maybe let Sirius know as well. I'm sure Remus would like to have his friends with him.
Yours truly,
Mr. Lupin
"Remy..." Sirius whispered in dismay.
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TBC...
