Disclaimer: I do not own these characters as JK Rowling has all rights to her characters as they are hers. I'm just using these things for my own morbid pleasures.
A/N: Awww all my reviewers rock!!! They make me wanna write even more! LoL Anyhoo... on w/ personal thx.
Natsuko-Dai: Damn right Remus isn't gonna forgive him that easy! Now the only question left is... is this chapter full of angst or no? LoL
Starlollie: Yeah... poor Siri. Someone's gonna have to tell Remus he's trying.
HappyDappyDrunk: Hehe thanks for pointing that out. I'm trying real hard to work on my grammar but some things just don't click. So you'll probably find more of those glitches throughout the story! I hope you enjoy it anyway!
the-mpreg-spirit: Its waaaaay too early in the story for any of the main characters to die so no worries!
halfblood princess and Summer: Is this soon enough for an update? Probably not eh? LoL
minightmoonlight: Yer welcome! I'm glad you love it! ::big grin::
perfect-feline: Did he ever bring it on himself!!!!
Dollface786: Thanks for yer review!! I'm glad you love it!
Hotaru21: Thanks for the review!
xbreakawayx: The pregnancy will make an appearance soon. Trust me! ::wink::
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If You're Not The One
Chapter Twelve: Renewed Hope
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"Don't worry about Remus," James said as they headed back to Dai Llewellyn Ward. "He's going to pull through."
"Yeah..." Sirius said absently, other things on his mind.
"I'll talk to him Padfoot," James promised. "I'll get him to talk to you."
"Thanks Prongs," Sirius said forcing a small smile.
"So I'll see you back at the house?" James asked as he and Sirius stood outside Remus' room.
"Yeah I got stuff to do," Sirius said, wanting to write more of the song he was working on.
James nodded, and stepped inside Remus' room leaving Sirius to stare at the door where his beloved lay just out of his reach. Sirius' stormy eyes clouded over as thoughts of never being with Remus again flooded his mind. Tucking his dark ebony hair behind his ear Sirius took a deep breath and headed for James' house.
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Seeing James come in without Sirius, Remus relaxed letting his heart go back down into his chest. He just couldn't bare seeing Sirius. He couldn't bare hearing his voice, or smelling his scent. He hurt everywhere, but he was at least able to sit up now. The doctors had fixed the lower gashes on his chest, but they still weren't able to heal the wound where he had punctured his lung. It had started to retain fluids so he had to wait till they were able to drain it before healing it. Unfortunately for him that meant it was hard to breathe.
"How're you feeling?" James asked tentatively, sitting in his chair at the end of Remus' bed.
"About as good as I look," Remus said shifting his position, wincing as he did so.
"So like utter shit," James said flashing his goofy grin, which made Remus smile despite himself.
"I'm sorry you had to come down here for this," Remus apologized after a moment of awkward silence.
"You don't have to apologize mate. That's what friends are for," James assured him. "You certainly had us scared though. I was afraid Sirius would go nutters from worry."
At the mention of Sirius' name Remus' face darkened. Everything was still too fresh in his mind. The hurt and anger were still too overbearing. The memories were too hard to bare.
"He still cares about you, you know," James said, broaching the subject.
"No he doesn't!" Remus growled.
"He does. He even-"
"Don't talk to me about him! I don't want to hear a single thing about Sirius Black!"
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So the weeks went on and James made a daily visit to Remus at the hospital. The healers had decided he would remain at the hospital at all times, except during his transformations, which unfortunately always put him two steps back in his healing.
Sirius would stay at James' writing, and waiting. He was on the verge of completing his song when James came home from another visit with Remus. Each visit he'd ask James if Remus would talk to him, each time answered with the shake of James' head. Sirius would sigh, and then ask how Remus' progress was. It wasn't until the day before they were to go back to Hogwarts for the new school year that Sirius had any break.
"How is he?" Sirius asked James when he came into the bedroom, forgoing the other seemingly pointless question.
"They're going to keep him for a few more days, but he should be back at school by the end of the week," James said calmly as he leaned into the doorway.
"So his transformations are getting better then?"
"Well his last one went a lot better than they planned, and its all thanks to you."
"That's good," Sirius said not looking up from backing his trunk. He paused when the rest of what James had said sunk in, he stood up and turned to see the grin on his friends face. "Because of me?"
"Before his transformation I was able to get in edge wise finally," James informed him.
"What do you mean?" Sirius asked not wanting to get his hopes up.
"I told him you were clean."
"Y-you did? And what did he say?" Sirius asked clutching his robes tightly in his hands. James shrugged.
"He didn't say anything. He just sorta spaced out."
"But how could that have made a difference?"
"Are you that thick mate? I just told you. He didn't have his transformation until after I told him you were clean, and it went a lot better than the others. He might be starting to forgive you."
At this new found hope Sirius cheered, and pulled James into a tight hug before packing more enthusiastically. Soon he'd be back at school with Remus, and he was more determined than ever to talk things through with him. He just had to make things right. He just had to.
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Remus sat in his hospital bed, staring at nothing. Tomorrow he would miss going to school but he wasn't too worried about that. What the mending werewolf was worried about was that he wouldn't be able to avoid Sirius anymore. He would have to face him sooner or later. Now it seemed much sooner than later. What Remus still couldn't grasp was what James had said. He had told him that Sirius was clean. Was it true? Did Sirius stop using drugs? He wanted so much to believe that. He really did, but a part of him didn't.
Remus chewed his lower lip like he always did when he thought about something that caused stress. If Sirius was clean could he forgive him? Should he forgive him? He did miss that charming smile, those stormy eyes, that comforting voice. He missed him so much. He felt miserable without Sirius. The only thing that remained was... could he trust him again?
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TBC...
