A/N: I got bored. So yeah. Enjoy. xD Oh, and I apologize for any errors and stuff. I've checked it quite a few times, but I can't catch everything. I'll continue to check and edit, but I think I've caught most-all of it.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters that are originally in InuYasha. I wish I did, but I don't. I also don't own Love, Sex, and the IRS. It was written by William Van Zandt and Jane Milmore. I never have. Never will. xD
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"Alright everyone, sit down! We have a lot to do today, and only a few hours to do it." The group didn't quiet down, and Naraku didn't feel like yelling. However, this wasn't working. "Shut up!" He screamed. The theatre of students immediately quieted and turned to look at him. He cleared his throat, "Now then, take your seats."
Everyone found their seats, all holding scripts in their laps. Among them were InuYasha, a freshman, Kagome, a freshman and InuYasha's girlfriend, Sesshomaru, a senior, InuYasha's brother, and a senior actor and techie in the theatre, Kagura, a freshman, new actor, and a new techie with high hopes, Miroku, a freshman with good skill and high hopes in acting, and Rin, a sophomore new to the drama program, but familiar with some of the members.
"Now then," he continued, looking everyone over. "You all know how the audition process works. Just use the stage right seats for a line. Sango will help me cast. Good luck!"
The group quickly emptied the theatre and went out to rehearse scenes. Pairs chattered and found their friends, flipping through the script, looking for scenes involving only a few people. Naraku and Sango sifted through the audition forms and took seats in the back center. The first group entered and took the stage. It was Kagome and InuYasha.
"Names?" Naraku said. He already knew them, but it was routine because he didn't know all of the freshmen. He found InuYasha's sheet, and Sango was already holding Kagome's sheet.
They recited their names, said what scene they were performing, and began. InuYasha was auditioning as Jon, the persuasive, cheap roommate, and Kagome was auditioning as Connie, the bossy, independent girlfriend.
InuYasha began. "Yes, Connie. It's true. Leslie likes to dress up in women's clothing. He's wanted to come out of the closet for a while now, but he didn't want to hurt you. He still cares for you, Connie. Oh, it was a sad sight… I returned home from the supermarket one day and there was Leslie, in a black lingerie, dancing on the coffee table.
Kagome answered, voice sounding frantic. "Ohmigod. What did I do to him? I'll admit that I've been domineering and bossy, but did I drive him to this?"
"I'm afraid so. Your dominance must have forced it out. I knew he had these tendencies back in college. The panty-raids were always a little more of a pleasure to him than any of the other guys. We never knew what the reason was, until we realized he never returned the panties he raided."
"Oh, Jon. I love him. I didn't mean to do this. What can I do?"
"Nothing, Connie. Nothing. It'd probably be best if you just forget about him and let him die a natural death."
"You don't die from it, do you?" Kagome turned her voice to panic.
"Only in a few rare cases. I'll do what I can for him. You just run along."
"Alright, thank you!" Naraku called up to them. They hopped off the stage and hurried back out to the cafeteria to rehearse a different scene.
Next were Sesshomaru and Miroku.
Naraku raised his eyebrows as the senior and freshman stepped on stage. "Names, please."
They told him their names, and what they were performing.
Sesshomaru was reading Leslie, the cross-dressing softy, and Miroku was reading Jon.
Miroku began. His hands were in the form of a phone up to his ear. "Hello? Hi Connie. Yes, he's here." He looked across stage, as though looking in to a different room. "Leslie! Your girlfriend's on the phone."
Sesshomaru dashed on stage, skidding to a halt. His face was of terror, looking at Miroku in disbelief, "Who?"
Miroku held the phone to him, the mouthpiece uncovered, "Connie! Remember her?"
"Oh, her. Tell her I'm not home!"
Miroku became quickly guarded, covering the mouthpiece of the phone, "I don't have to. You already did. What's going on between you two?"
Sesshomaru looked down to the stage, ashamed, "I'm breaking up with her and I'm trying to avoid it."
Miroku replaced the 'phone' to his ear, "Connie? Now, stop crying. Here he is. He just came in," he sent a glare at Sessohmaru, and covered the mouthpiece, handing the phone to Sesshomaru. "Over the phone is inhuman."
Sesshomaru tentatively received the phone as Miroku moved to around the stage, pretending to decorate it. "Hi Connie, what's new? Now don't call me that. All right. I know. I know. You're right. I am that. Yes, I'm that, too. Wait a minute. I'm not that. Connie, there's a good reason why I haven't called you. What is that reason? Well…" He covered the mouthpiece and looked at Miroku, "Over the phone is pretty rotten…" He placed it back to his ear, "It's not another woman. If there's one thing it's not another woman. There is no woman in my life at all."
Miroku looked at him, rolling his eyes, "Tacky! Tacky! In person, Leslie!" He moved across stage, almost off, out of hearing range.
"Look Connie, there is a reason I haven't been seeing you… I just can't find the words right now. I've gone thought a change. It's different than I've ever felt about a woman before. Look. Let's discuss this in person. Sure today is fine. See you later, good bye." He hangs up the phone, and frantically picks it up again. "No! Today is not fine! Hello? Hello?" He hung it up. "Nuts…"
"Call her back!" He looked at Sesshomaru, almost yelling.
"I can't call her back…"
"Why can't you call her back?"
"She was calling from a phone booth…"
"How do you know?"
"The operator was calling me names."
Naraku cut in, "Thank you." He thought that Miroku was a good actor for a freshman, but pairing himself up with Sesshomaru was probably not the best idea. Sesshomaru was the best aspiring actor they had. Many underclassmen looked up to him. Especially the girls, though he knew it wasn't because of his acting.
The auditions drawled on, and finally came to an end. The students left, and only Naraku and Sango were left in the theatre to debate over the cast. They were there until 10:00, when they had finally gotten everything decided after much debate over the minor characters.
The next day, the cast list was posted.
Jon Trachtman-Hojo
Leslie Arthur- Sesshomaru
Kate Dennis- Kagome
Mr. Jansen- Koga
Floyd Spinner- Miroku
Vivian Trachtman- Kagura
Connie- Rin
Arnold Grunion- InuYasha
Those who had not been cast walked away, sighing, while the others grinned gleefully, chattering with each other. Many people walked away, disappointed, but they all knew who many of the cast would be. Obviously Sesshomaru. and Rin; she was a natural actor and loved being in the spotlight. Everyone else, though, they hadn't expected, because the majority of the cast was freshman.
Miroku turned to Sesshomaru, "Thank you! You got me a lead role in my first show!"
Sesshomaru looked down at him, "I only read with you. You got yourself the part." He turned and walked away from the window, putting his hands in his pockets, sighing. 'I'm going to have to wear a dress!' he thought to himself, hanging his head in annoyance.
Miroku looked after him, blinking. 'I'm not a good enough actor to do it. Everything has to do with who you read with…'
Kagome hugged InuYasha tightly a short distance away from the list, "I got cast as Kate! Yes!"
InuYasha responded gruffly, "Arnold? Who the hell is he?"
Kagome looked at him sternly, "Does it matter? You got a part!"
Kagura looked after Sesshomaru as he departed, hanging his head, lost in his thoughts… as usual. She couldn't help but chuckle. Mr. I'm-so-cool had to wear a dress and wear make up. And, God forbid, cut his hair. She laughed out loud at this. It would be amusing to see his pride and ego crushed by the outfit.
Afternoon rehearsal soon rolled around, and next to Naraku sat Sesshomaru, a small smile on his face. "In charge of tech for this show," Naraku said, looking at the small cast "is Sesshomaru. I expect there to be a better turn-out for this show than there was last show. It was pathetic.
Kagura groaned. He was in charge of tech? This was going to be a nightmare. She was a freshman, and hated the guy. She had high hopes, though, in the tech department, and had hoped for someone she knew and liked to run tech. she would have to fight with this asshole the whole time, though.
Sesshomaru looked down at his clip board, "We'll start set construction tomorrow after rehearsal at 5:00. Tell your friends. I expect there to be a lot of people there. We have a lot to do, and I expect it to get done, big crew or small."
"And on that note," Naraku continued, "we'll start scene 1 act 1 today and get through act 1. Kate, Leslie, you're up."
A couch was pulled on stage, and Sesshomaru and Kagome sat down, looking uncomfortable. The script read:
AS CURTAIN RISES, we see a present-day bachelor apartment in Manhattan. Stage Right, we see an archway which leads to an off-stage kitchen. U.S.R. is the front door. all along the back we see a skylight, complete with a view obstructed by clothes-lines. Stage Left has a landing which leads upstairs to the bedrooms. Center Stage is a comfortable-looking sofa. On it, we see LESLIE ARTHUR, a gawky young man in his early twenties. He is engaged in a passionate kiss with KATE DENIS, a pretty little brunette. LESLIE tries to break the kiss and speak. KATE fights him.
InuYasha read this and jumped up, "This is insane! My brother can't make out with my girlfriend!" InuYasha and Kagome were both freshmen, and InuYasha didn't like the thought of Kagome kissing someone three years older, not to mention his brother.
Naraku glared at him. "Shut up. It's in the script. We can't leave it out because you're over-protective."
InuYasha glared back, but sat down in a seat, huffing.
Kagome and Sesshomaru engaged in a nervous kiss. Naraku yelled for them to stop. They looked at him, Kagome lbushing. "You both need more passion. More heat. More… More… More TONGUE!"
They looked at him dumbfounded, not believing that their director had just said that.
InuYasha jumped up again, "Are you insane? Come on Kagome, let's go!"
Kagome looked down at the furious InuYasha, then at Sesshomaru, "Well… let's give it another try."
Sesshomaru nodded, sighing inwardly. 'I have to make out with a freshman. Lovely.'
They did it again, Kagome almost on top of Sesshomaru. Naraku was apparently satisfied for now, because he didn't cut in. They continued on with the scene.
Sesshomaru pushed her off, pulling away for her kisses.
"No, Leslie!" She whined, trying to kiss his neck.
"Why now?" Sesshomaru responded, looking slightly nervous. He gently pushed her off.
"The wedding's not for two weeks. What's the rush?" She tried again to steal a kiss.
"Oh, come on, Kate." He shifted to the far side of the couch, away from her.
"No, it can wait."
"It cannot wait. Believe me, it cannot wait."
Kagome moved back to him, bending over his arm, kissing him all over. "Is that all you can think about?"
He pushed her away again, "At the moment? Yes." He paused. "When are you going to tell Jon you can't marry him?"
"The wedding's not for two weeks! I'll fit it in there somewhere." She moved back, attempting to kiss him again. Sesshomaru stopped her.
"Wait. Wait. Wait a minute. Time out. Kate, don't you realize that in two weeks you'll be married to Jon?"
"Of course I do. I'm engaged to him." She tried for another kiss.
Leslie stood up. "Kate, would you stop?" He began to pace across the stage. "I'm not sure if you've noticed, but we've been sneaking around behind his back for almost a week now. I just had some proof of it on the couch a second ago."
Kagome looked up at him, huffing. "I'm aware of what we do on the couch, Leslie. I just can't bring myself to tell him."
Sesshomaru looked back at her, stopping his pacing, and scowling. "Well, you're going to have to tell him. Two weeks from now, when the three of us go on our honeymoon, it'll probably be too late."
Rehearsal went on and on. Naraku wrote note after note, as well did Sango. However, Naraku was quite impressed at Kagome's acting. On her sheet, she had written that she had no previous acting experience. However, her acting was almost as good as Sesshomaru's. They were almost equals, but he was a senior, and she was a freshman. 'I'm sure we can expect much more from her….' he thought, jotting down another note.
Another day of rehearsal came and went, and set came. Sesshomaru sat on the edge of the stage as roughly twenty people sat in the crowd. They came from all classes, and were both male and female. He had dragged his brother along as well, because he could use his strength to move things.
Kagura stared at Sesshomaru from the third row. He looked as though he was annoyed at the people sitting in the audience, there to aid him. 'Not too many people are here. Better than last show, though. Most are freshman… I guess we won't get to start today. I'll need to show them around. What a pain… Well, whatever. It will have to do. Besides, I'm sure the group will be cut in half before it's finished. People aren't very reliable, and figure that they're not needed as well.'
"I guess this is everyone," he said, starting with a loud voice. Some of the freshmen cowered as he spoke. One, though, was glaring at him. He looked at her. Good build- and she looked determined. 'Oh, yes, Kagura. She helped with the last show. I think it's time to put her to work…' "I have to choose a co-head. I'd like to find someone to teach that'll be here awhile. I've worked with only a few of you, though. If this is your first time here, you'll learn fast, but won't be qualified to be my co-head. He looked over the audience, as though deciding. He set his gaze on Kagura, "You. You'll be my co-head."
Kagura looked at him, wide-eyed. 'What the hell is he trying to pull? Maybe I don't want to be co-head! Now I'll have to deal with him even more! How could he do this to me? But…. This is my perfect opportunity…. but with him?'
"What are you waiting for? Get up here. You're in charge now, as well." He was actually looking forward to working with her, for some reason. She seemed like someone who could easily take his place at the helm, and no one else would be able to teach her. It would take some wits, an ego, and someone full of themselves to get through to her. ho better than himself?
Kagura forced herself to the front of the stage, leaning back against the cool wood. He handed her a clip board equipped with a pencil, a sharpie, all of the set plans, measurements, paint information, and anything else she would need to know about set, lights, sound, etc. 'Oh boy… This is going to be a pain in the ass….'
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A/N: I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. You should also check out the full play. It's hilarious, and the only good scenes haven't been covered in here. I guarantee there's a lot more to it!
Love, Sex, and the IRS
by William Van Zandt and Jane Milmore
