A/N: Fifty one reviews so far! w00t! That makes me feel all special! And I just want to say thanks to all my reviewers for their wonderful suggestions! I'm sorry to say I won't be using any of them in this chapter as I wrote this one before I received those suggestions. However, I plan on using some of them in upcoming chapters, so be sure to look out for them!

Chapter 6: Boondoggle Keychains

After having walked all the way back to the house (and just barely managing to escape Pedro's "bodyguards"), Frodo and Sam were busy looking for something to eat. But other than Uncle Rico's steak, which they were told not to touch, they couldn't seem to find anything. They weren't sure if they wanted to touch the steak anyway. It was, after all, unlike anything they'd ever seen in the Shire.

As Frodo tossed the last random item of some sort out of the cabinet, he heard the sounds of munching coming from somewhere. "Sam?" he called. "Sam, is that you?"

Sam's head appeared from out of one of the cabinets above the counter. "Is what me, Mr. Frodo?"

"That munching. Were you just eating something?"

"No, Mr. Frodo, I have found naught in here to eat but crumbs and dirt, I'm afraid."

Then the munching sound came again. "I should like to know where that is coming from," said Frodo, following the sound.

He came around the corner to see Kip sitting in front of the computer, grabbing a handful of cheese-covered chips from a plate and eating them. Sam hopped down from the counter and came to stand behind his master. "Why, Mr. Frodo, I do believe that fellow has some food."

Yes, Kip did indeed have food, thank you Captain Obvious, but unfortunately for you, that was the last of the chips.

"Well, he had food, at any rate, but not anymore," sighed Frodo, turning to walk away. "Come on, Sam."

But Sam ignored his master and strode up to Kip with his hands on his hips and his chin thrust out in indignation. "Excuse me, sir, but I daresay you could have saved some of those chips for us."

Kip stared down at the hobbit and deliberately began to munch on the last chip, pretending to savor it as if it were the most wonderful food in the world. And it was…

…to him anyways.

"Excuse me," said Sam, louder this time, puffing out his chest and trying to look as angry as a cute widdle hobbit could. (The author pictures this in her head and wants to give Sam a huggle! Aww…he's sooo adoridable! A/N: "Adoridable" is a word I made up for things that I think are especially cute. Not the "hot" cute, mind you, the "adorable" cute. Erm. Anyways…)

Kip rolled his eyes and looked down at him. "Do you want to fight me?" he asked. "You know, I've been training to be a cage fighter."

"Well, I don't know what that is, sir, but whatever it is, I should warrant that you're not a very good one from the looks of you."

"Try and hit me."

"What?"

"I said come here and see what happens when you try and hit me."

"No, I don't want to do that, sir. I just wanted some food."

"Just do it and find out what happens."

"No."

"Come on."

Then the doorbell rang. "No," said Sam one more time and then turned and went to the door but not before giving Kip a sharp slap on the knee.

"Hi," said Deb as both Frodo and Sam opened the door. "You must be those cousins of Napoleon's he was telling me about."

The hobbits stared at her blankly.

"Well, I came by to see if Kip wanted to buy some stuff from me, but you guys will do." Then she began her totally awesome sales pitch that she was sure would get anyone to buy stuff from her. "Would you like to look like this?" Yes. Genius stuff. She should get herself her own commercial. (Ooh! What an idea! I might have to do that in a later chapter!)

She pulled a picture from out of her pocket, a duplicate portrait of the same fluffy-haired blonde lady that she'd given to Napoleon.

Frodo and Sam took the picture from her and stared at it, trying to make out exactly what it was. "Oh dear!" cried Frodo, dropping the picture in shock. "That's not one of the Sackville-Bagginses is it?"

"Your mom is a Sackville-Baggins," came Kip's voice from somewhere in the house. Wow, that was almost, like, an actual insult this time.

Deb ignored both Kip's and Frodo's comments and continued. "Well, today only, you can get seventy-five percent off of any portrait courtesy Deb's Glamour Shots."

"I'd rather look like an orc than like a Sackville-Baggins," replied Frodo after a moment's silence.

"Hmm…" Deb thought for a moment. "And here we have some boondoggle keychains, a must have for this season's fashion."

The two hobbits peered for a moment at all the colorful lanyard keychains in Deb's case. "No, I'm afraid we shan't be needing any of those," said Sam. "We found lots of those in the house. But do you have any food by any chance?"

"No."

Sam walked back into the house with a glum look on his face. Frodo followed and shut the door behind him, leaving poor Deb standing on the front steps all by herself. And the moral of today's story is: hobbits can be rather rude when hungry, so if you ever see one and he asks for food, you'd better give it to him or he'll shut the door on you.

A/N: Wow, that one actually turned out to be the hardest to write so far. Sorry if it's not quite as entertaining as the others, but don't worry, I've got lots of good ideas to make up for it.

Plus I'm kinda tired now and when that happens, it's hard for me to be as funny. Meh.

Anyways, time for Reviewer Responses! Yay!

Jaina Kenobi: Yet again, you be the first to review my story. But then again, I know that you're constantly sitting in front of your computer, waiting for an Author Alert instead of doing your homework… But we like procrastination, don't we?

Master Arkane: If you think Elrond had a hard time dealing with Napoleon and Pedro, just you wait until they run into Galadriel! Oh, it's going to be so much fun!

Auta Miqula Orqu: Gosh, you're name is hard to spell! Anyway, I agree: insulting people in languages that they don't understand is a lot of fun—especially when you tell them it's a compliment after you've said it!

Navaer Lalaith: Um…okay… I honestly don't really care what's true Elvish and what's not. That sounds mean, but I really don't. And please don't flame my reviewers. It's not needed here, whether you are right or not.

iluvcupid: Well, at least someone loves Cupid. I was beginning to think that no one did and that he was just this matchmaker that never made any matches for himself! Anyway, thanks for the suggestion and I'll see what I can do! Who knows who might show up next…

Nota Lone: I'm not alone either! Yay! And I'm glad that this makes more sense than "Napoleon Dynamite." It's good to know I can take someone else's story and improve it!

willofthering: You've been waiting you're whole life to find this story? Woah! I'm impressed! J/k! But now you've found this story and your quest is at its end. Sort of. Because I haven't finished writing it yet!

Iubar: Well, I'm glad you don't hate it! And you think I'm funnier than Napoleon Dynamite! That makes me very happy and…uh…shoot, what's another word for that? Ecstatic? Yeah, I suppose that works. :)

homeschool girl: Did you build that cake? Can I have some? I really like cake, especially chocolate. Mmm…chocolate…

crybabyfan1: Who co-stars with Johnny Depp in Donnie Brasco? Hmm…I'll have to think about that for a minute…Al Pacino? Am I right? Do I get a cookie?

blackrosemystic: Welcome aboard and yes, sarcasm is fun, but when I use sarcasm, that usually means that I like whatever it is I'm making fun of. Not always, but most of the time! Tee hee!

jae: Believe it or not, I was just kinda typing random things when I came up with that line. I didn't know if it would work, but I suppose it did. Yay!

A/N: Whew! That was a lot of responses this time, but that's okay, because it's just as much fun to write them as it is the story! Well, that's all for today. I haven't really started thinking about what to do with the next chapter yet as I have been swamped with stuff to do lately, but I'm sure I'll come up with something by the end of this week, so stay tuned!