A/N: All you guys have given me fantastic ideas for upcoming chapters, which I will use, I promise. I know exactly where in the story I want to use all of them. I apologize that I didn't use any in this chapter, but I really really promise you that in the next chapter or so, you will see them. For the next Frodo and Sam chapter, for instance, I'm planning on having them either try and shoot a cow or wrangle chickens (thus discovering that they do indeed have large talons XD). So look for your ideas starting in the next few chapters!
Chapter 7: The Ring Goes South…With a…Mariachi Band…
The Company took little gear of war, for their hope was in secrecy not in battle. Aragorn had Andúril but no other weapon, and he went forth clad only in rusty green and brown, as a Ranger of the wilderness. Boromir had a long sword, in fashion like Andúril but of less lineage, and yaddah, yaddah, yaddah. Enough of that. Let's get to the point.
So skipping some paragraphs, we finally get to the part where the Fellowship actually does something besides chatting with the Elves. Not that there's anything wrong with chatting with Elves, mind you. It's just that they like to talk so much and all of Middle-earth is kinda at stake here, so they might want to, you know, get going!
So they did. And Bilbo stood on a balcony and waved goodbye. "Good…good luck!" he cried, stuttering with the cold. " I don't suppose you will be able to keep a diary, Frodo my lad, but I shall expect a full account when you get back. And don't be too long! Farewell!"
Napoleon rolled his eyes. "Ugh! That crazy old hobbit dude is such a flippin' idiot!"
"Do not speak so ill of him," replied Gandalf as they started on their way. "He's a rather old hobbit and a dear friend of mine. I should ask you to hold your tongue if you will not speak good of him."
"Maybe I won't, then. Gosh!"
They crossed the bridge and wound slowly up the long steep paths that led out of the cloven vale of Rivendell. Yay! They're finally leaving! (Author skips for joy around the room and then stops once she realizes her roommate is giving her weird looks.)
Some weeks later, the Fellowship was nearing a mountain range.
"We have done well," said Gandalf. "We have reached the borders of the country that men call Hollin."
"That's cool, I guess," mumbled Pedro.
"Why, what's the matter with you, boy?" wondered Gimli. "This should be a grand thing! Why do you seem so saddened at such a sight?"
Pedro thought for a moment, staring at the ground. "Because we have been walking for days and we haven't had any music," he said at length.
"Well, then let us sing!" said Legolas. And coming from this Legolasthe one from the bookthat makes sense because, according to my sources, the Legolas from the movie can't carry a tune at all. Thank goodness they didn't have him sing. His good looks might not have saved him from that humiliation!
"I know a lovely song about the sea."
"Oh, not now, Legolas," said Aragorn. "You know well you don't sing that one until 'The Field of Cormallen,' which is in the sixth book. We're still in the second one. Chapter III: The Ring Goes South, to be exact."
"Oh. Right. My apologies. I do not intend to get ahead of myself."
"So what song would you have us sing?" asked Pippin. "I should like to sing one of our drinking songs, even though we have no drinks."
"No," said Pedro simply. "I want to hear something else."
Both Pippin and Merry looked crestfallen—and they dreaded what his answer would be.
"So what do you wish us to sing?" asked Gandalf.
"I don't want you to sing. I want to you to play. I brought these."
Pedro walked over to Bill and pulled out three trumpets, some maracas, an accordion, and conga drums. He casually handed every member of the Fellowship an instrument. Napoleon got the drums, Gandalf, Aragorn, and Boromir got the trumpets, Legolas got the accordion, and Merry, Pippin, and Gimli got maracas.
"Sweet!" exclaimed Napoleon. "Where did you get these?"
"I brought them," Pedro stated simply.
The rest of the Fellowship looked confused.
"What in the name of Minas Tirith are these things?" cried Boromir. His brain was hurting a lot now. These two strangers would be the death of him if they kept it up.
"They're instruments, you freaking retard!"
Boromir said nothing and just looked really, really angry. His face went scarlet red and the other members of the Fellowship were afraid he was about to light himself on fire.
Gandalf, always the philanthropist, sought to understand what it was Pedro expected them to do. "So what would you have us do with these, my friend?"
"I want to hear some music."
The Fellowship stared expectantly at him, waiting for him to elaborate.
"Well…?" said Merry.
"Play," muttered Pedro.
"Yeah, come on," said Napoleon. "Let's just start playing! Gosh!"
Gandalf, Gimli, Aragorn, Legolas, Merry, Pippin, and even Boromir shrugged and started playing on their instruments. This is the moment they discovered exactly why there weren't a whole lot of instruments in Middle-earth: the sound that they made was so atrocious, it would have sent a balrog running in fear. They stopped after a few scrambled measures.
"How was that?" asked Gandalf, hoping that the horrendous piece they'd just played wasn't what the boy was expecting from them.
"That was awful," said Pedro.
"Man, you guys might have a lot of skills, but you don't have any music skills," Napoleon said.
"Perhaps he should teach us how to play properly," suggested Legolas, squeezing the accordion so that it wheezed one weak note.
So Pedro did.
Five minutes later (because Pedro has some sweet band directing skills), the Fellowship was playing some quality mariachi music. Pedro even pulled out some mariachi band outfits for each of them, complete with sombreros and the Fellowship continued on their merry way towards the Gap of Rohan, scaring off any enemies with their wonderful music. Even the crebain from Fangorn and Dunland dared not go near them. Strange people like that couldn't possibly be carrying a certain Ring with them.
Good thing Elrond and the other elves (well, besides Legolas) couldn't hear this music right now. They might just have all surrendered to Sauron if they did.
So the Fellowship continued to play and play until Pedro would be satisfied, which wouldn't be for a few more days yet. Wha ha ha ha!
A/N: Another chapter done! Sorry that one took so long. Anyway, Reviewer Responses! My favorite part! Wheee!
Master Arkane: Oh that is such a fantastic idea! I just had a wonderful vision in my head :laughs giddily: Oh that's going to make an excellent chapter…
Jaina Kenobi: Geh? You weren't the first to review this time. You're not checking to see if you have Author Alerts frequently enough! Tsk, tsk. And maybe I'll feed those hobbits…eventually. I'm too busy procrastinating, though.
Earendil Eldar: Well, sometime Frodo and Sam are going to have some fun with chickens. Maybe they do have large talons! We shall see!
crybabyfan1: Man, you're not going to make this easy on me are you? Let's see, Christopher Walken? Is that it? I have to confess, though. I used the internet to find that one out. Do I get another cookie anyway?
Lady Alyx: Wow, I don't think I've made anyone laugh that hard before! I feel special now! And, um, here's some chocolate. Why? Because I have some and I wanted to give it away. That's why.
jae: Oh, he'll be challenging them to a game of tetherball sometime. Just be patient, you'll see it. Trust me. It's going to be dreadfully hilarious! ;)
homeschool girl: Yeah, stupid darn fly. I don't want a free iPod either. Gosh! I already have like an infinity of those I made at camp. I don't need any more!
ArcticWolfe: Oh, yes, Napoleon's dance moves. Let's see how the cave troll reacts to that in the mines of Moria…
Navaer Lalaith: Apology accepted. And when I find enough time to learn Elvish, I'll be sure to check to see if it's true Elvish or not. For now, though, I gotta stick to my own languages: fé'arish, nyranic, daemoniac, giantean, and acethian. I need to finish developing them for my own novels so it may be awhile before I get around to learning Elvish...
Well, I suppose that is all for now. I think the next chapter will be another Napoleon chapter just to change things up a bit. Stay tuned!