A/N: Ah, but I'm afraid to inform you all that I've left my copy of The Fellowship of the Ring at home and I cannot continue until I have it. So instead, here's an interlude of sorts—the random kind. I think this story needs a random interlude anyway and so does Jaina. It was her idea, actually.
Have any of you ever seen Help!—the Beatles' movie? If you have, well, this is kind of going to be like that except not because it's written instead of visual.
Interlude of Random InsanityThis interlude of random insanity has been brought to you by the lovely ladies of 3SW (mostly Anne), Star Wars, and random other stuff that should pop into my head while I write this.
WARNING! If random insanity scares the living daylights out of you, then I suggest you go do something else like tend to the cat that you've been neglecting these past few days while reading fanfics. I'm sure the poor little bugger would appreciate getting some food.
:ahem:
Only an hour and a half until it's Friday! Yippee skippy!
But is it really only an hour and a half, or is it all just an illusion? People say time is an illusion, but how is this so when we have both a past, present, and a future? Does that not signify—ah, this is a boring conversation anyway. Luke! We're going to have company!
Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?
Hmm, yes, yes, Luke is quite short, ain't he? I'm surprised that Chewie hasn't stepped on him yet—stepped on him and crushed him like a poor hobbit would be beneath the foot of an oliphaunt—which reminds me: I want to roll down the hills of the Shire in a plastic bubble! Would not that be fun? Well, for me it would be. I think the hobbits might get angry at me for destroying their beautiful hills in a shiny, clear bubble of death. A bubble of death is not nearly as bad as a rainbow wheel of death, though. All you Mac OS X users out there…you know what I'm talking about.
"So…" some of you Windows people may ask, referring to the rainbow wheel of doom and despair, "…is it like Neapolitan on crack?" And I must tell you that no, no it is not like Neapolitan on crack. That would be spumoni ice cream. That's different.
Wait, you'll have to excuse me for a moment. I have to go talk to Mister Keener. I mean, Mista Keena. I mean…ugh. You wanna pickle? Because quite frankly, I'm not too fond of pickles anymore. I got sick of them after having eaten so many. You're welcome to have mine. But don't ask me to give you any tots. Those are mine.
Napoleon! I said, "NO TOTS!" Stop trying to steal them from us. You're wicked, tricksy, false. Leave now and never come back!
We told him to go away and away he goes. Gone, gone, gone! Sméagol's free!
Yes, Sméagol's free…at least until he bites off Frodo's finger and falls into the Cracks of Doom. Looks like you got your precious back, but what good does it do you as soon as you dissolve like butter on a hot pan in the lava of the volcano? You didn't think of that, now did you? And why in Hades did you want to bite off Frodo's finger? That's nasty! Now his finger is lost and he must go look for it. What? Don't look at me like that! If your finger was missing, would you not go look for it?
You wouldn't? Well! You're so full of it, you should make squishing sounds when you walk.
I remember watching you, Sméagol, as you lead Frodo and Sam into the lands of Mordor. Yes, you seemed like a harmless little creature, but you frolicked with malicious intent.
Perhaps Napoleon should let Gollum have a go with the time machine. What do you say, Napoleon, do you want to let him give it a try?
"Heck yes. That would be sweet!"
Alright, Gollum, now put this metal bar right…there. Yes, THERE! Do it or it won't work! Okay, Napoleon, are the crystals in place?
"Yes."
Flip the switch!
TIME MACHINE'D!
"Ow! Our most of us!"
"Flippin' retard! You were supposed to hold onto the bar! Gosh!"
Gollum, you look burnt…or dead.
SAILING MISHAP!
Whoops. Bye Napoleon. I'm going to miss you.
"I'm going to miss video games."
Who asked you? And who are you anyway?
"I'm Luke Skywalker and I've come to rescue you."
Rescue me from what? This insanity that is my interlude? Or the flames I might be getting because I failed to update my fic and put this thing in there instead?
"Both."
Ah, good. You'd better rescue me now before it's too late. Nevermind. Too late.
El Fin
A/N: Sorry for putting you guys through that torture. DON'T HURT ME! I promise next week I WILL update my fic and it won't be anymore of this randomness—it'll be the usual randomness with Napoleon driving the elves in Lothlórien absolutely up their tree trunk walls. And since this was an interlude, I will not be doing reviewer responses this time. I shall wait until next time to do that. I completely understand if you give me a review this week saying, "What in the name of all that's good were you thinking writing this?" And I will say, "I was thinking I was bored and rather hyper and I wanted to update this fic somehow."
And then you will respond, "So why didn't you just continue with Frodo and Sam?" at which point I will answer, "Because…because I wanted to do an interlude of random insanity, okay? It's fun to do stuff like that and besides, I still had Napoleon and Gollum in there, didn't I? Doesn't that count?"
You will just shake your head and say, "No, that doesn't count. I'm very disappointed in you, Mireath Warrior. This chapter wasn't at all funny. It scared me."
I will then hang my head low and mumble somberly, "I'm sorry. I'll try better next time. Forgive me? … … … Hello? Hey! Where did you go?"
