A/N: Hi, again everyone! I must apologize for taking long to update but seeing as it's summer break and all, I just kind of…um, do other stuff…
Anyway, here's the next chapter.
Chapter 16: Heck Yes!
"Now it is time to drink the cup of farewell," said Galadriel. Thank the Valar, she thought bitterly to herself, glaring at Napoleon and Pedro. She fingered something sharp and shiny underneath her sleeve in the case she'd be tempted to use it. A little harsh now are we, Galadriel? Come now, an elf can't be like that. It's OOC!
"Do we get our gifts now or what?" asked Napoleon, looking at her through those half-closed eyes. Is he half asleep all the time or something?
Galadriel gritted her teeth and handed Aragorn a sheath for his sword. "Do not hesitate to use your sword on him if you must," she whispered to him.
"My Lady!" he exclaimed. "Such words I should never have thought to hear from lips so fair!"
"And neither would you have if that…that moron, were not here!"
"Why is her face turning purple?" Pedro asked Napoleon.
Napoleon shrugged. Like he'd know anyway.
Well, my dear, it's turning purple because that's much funnier to imagine than her face turning red. I mean, a face turning red in anger is so clichéd. But turning purple isn't! Is it?
Not wanting to spend another second more near those two strange kids, Galadriel decided not to give Aragorn the other gifts she was going to give him and moved on to Boromir who looked as if he were about to go completely nuts at any second. She pitied him. Instead of giving him a golden belt as she had intended, she gave him a large phial filled with water. "I give you this in the case that being around such…fools (for lack of a better word) should cause you to spontaneously combust."
"Thank you, my Lady," Boromir replied.
By the way things are going, he's probably going to need that. (Author laughs evilly).
To Merry and Pippin, Galadriel gave small silver belts. "What is this?" said Pippin. "In the movie we got knives, not useless belts! I've already got one! I don't need another!"
Oh! I'd watch your complaining right now, Pippin! Galadriel might pull that sharp pointy object from her sleeve on you if you're not too careful! And it's probably a good thing Sam isn't there to call her Mr. Galadriel. Normally, she might have just laughed it off, but the way she is right now…hoo boy!
Galadriel smiled grimly at Pippin and restrained herself from harming him. She moved on to Legolas and gave him a bow such as those that the Galadhrim used. In its bowstring was the hair of an elf. Like that makes any sense. What's it supposed to do? Make it look pretty? Because I don't think that just one hair's going to accomplish that and if you made the whole thing out of elf hair, then it would not be a functioning bowstring, now would it? I'd tell you what does make a good bowstring, but you might be grossed out by it if you don't know already what it is.
Then Galadriel gave Napoleon and Pedro a miss and went straight on to Gimli. "And what gift would a Dwarf ask of the Elves?" she said, turning to him.
And then, of course, we all know he eventually asks her for a single strand of her hair and she gives him three. What's with the elf hair? Why is it so special? Someone tell me!
Galadriel sighed inwardly, thoroughly glad that this was all over. "Now that I have given all the gifts I have to give, I bid you all to leave and have a swift journey." So that I may at last be rid of those two imbeciles.
And of course Napoleon had to ask, "Don't we get a gift? GOSH!"
Galadriel tried her very hardest to maintain her gracious visage. "I am sorry, but I have no gifts that would suit two Men such as yourselves." She quickly pocketed the crystal phial she would have given to Frodo and the box of earth (brought to you by the letter G) to Sam.
"Well, if you don't have anything to give us, that's alright, I guess. But I have a gift I want to give you, my Lady," said Napoleon, trying to act all proper and stuff, but it wasn't working.
Pedro leaned over and whispered, "Did you draw her a picture?"
"Heck yes, I did!" Napoleon whispered back. He then took out the picture he'd drawn and handed it to her. And as we all know, it was the most horrendous piece of fan art anyone has ever done of Galadriel. "I spent three hours shading your nose, especially the left nostril."
Galadriel took the drawing and did not have to look long at it before she snapped at seeing such an atrocious representation of herself. She couldn't restrain herself any longer. She pulled out her sharp and pointy object, turning those lovely shades of purple and green we've all been waiting to see, and held it level between Napoleon's eyes. "Get out!" she shrieked, frightening not only the members of the Fellowship, but all the other Elves. "Get out!"
Frightened beyond belief, the Company high tailed it out of there in their little canoes. No warm farewell for you.
As they went swiftly as they could down the river, Aragorn glared at his two exceedingly irritating companions. "I hope you are happy, angering the Lady of the Wood so."
"Nice work, laddies," grumbled Gimli. "Now I'll never be welcome back there again and that was one of my dearest wishes."
But that's what you get for traveling with Napoleon and Pedro, no? Heh heh heh.
TBC…
A/N: At the risk of failing to come up with clever comments for Reviewer Responses, I think I shall not be doing them for now. But don't leave 'cuz of that! If you do, I'll be really, really sad because I like reading them all! It's just getting difficult for me to do them all the time. Please, feel free to take some candy, though—but you can only have one if you review. Or else…
