Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Star Craft or any of its characters.
I am merely using it in a comedic manner. And all that other stuff I said
in the first chapter.
You asked for it… You begged for it… You sent me threatening letters demanding for it… Now here it is, my next interview for my new Star Craft series… enjoy.
Welcome, I am Hyper Guyver, and welcome to the Hyper Guyver interviews. Follow me today as I continue to interview characters of the Star Craft game. Today's guest, visiting us is the notorious Arcturus Mengsk.
Hyper Guyver: Welcome Arcturus, I hope your trip from your "Terrain Dominion" was pleasant.
Arcturus: Fine, thank you. And by the way, I could here the sarcasm in your voice as you said "Terrain Dominion."
Hyper Guyver: Really… (Eye Roll)
Arcturus: Yes…
Hyper Guyver: Well, I guess we might as well get started… So, where to begin?
Arcturus: Well, it all started way back when, when I was a young confederate prospector in the good old days of Korhal…
Hyper Guyver: Right… Korhal had good old days…
Arcturus: It did, back before the obliteration from the confederates… after that it was a decaying perverted wasteland filled with violence and confederate hatred.
Hyper Guyver: says here that Korhal was a perverted tropic paradise filled with violence and confederate hatred.
Arcturus: Uh… well… uh… Well, no society is perfect… but we managed well…
Hyper Guyver: (Eye roll again)
Arcturus: I saw that.
Hyper Guyver: I know.
Arcturus: Moving along… After that I started up the Sons of Korhal. There we made our point clear to dislodge the Confederates from power.
Hyper Guyver: Uh… says here you couldn't even get past airport's security with a sharp stick… in fact if it weren't for Raynor you'd still be sucking down scotch outside the colonial territories.
Arcturus: I resent that! I strictly drink only whisky.
Hyper Guyver:…
Arcturus: Uh… could I have a minute?
Hyper Guyver: Uh… okay.
(Arcturus steps out into the bathroom, few minutes later smoke starts comes out.)
Hyper Guyver: (Sniff, sniff) Aw crap, not another pothead. (Sigh) I promised myself I wouldn't interview another one of them after the "Robert Downey Jr. incident."
(Arcturus steps out of bathroom looking refreshed.)
Arcturus: Aw… now where were we?
Hyper Guyver: uh, so what happened after that?
Arcturus: Well, I valiantly fought against the confederacy and in my finial glorious hour I brought them down.
Hyper Guyver: Says here you left your right hand woman Kerrigan to get the Zerg to do it, and then left her there to be killed by them. In fact in my last interview Kerrigan wanted me to give you this. (Hands Arcturus a big brown box)
Arcturus: (opens box) DEAR GOD! DUKE! That Bitch chopped off his head!
Hyper Guyver: Wow, that would defiantly explain why my rooms been smelling so bad… Uh, So we where talking about how you left your right hand woman Kerrigan to make the Zerg destroy the confederacy, and then left her there to be killed by them.
Arcturus: (Tosses head off to the side) Technicalities, technicalities… besides, if you have all those notes, why do you need to talk to me?
Hyper Guyver: Because they pay me to.
Arcturus: They pay you?!
Hyper Guyver: Well, not so much pay me… as threaten to beat the almighty hell out of me if I don't.
Arcturus: Hee, hee, hee.
Hyper Guyver: (Sigh) Moving right along… how does your new government work?
Arcturus: Hee, hee, hee, hee…
Hyper Guyver: Uh, Arcturus?
Arcturus: Hee, hee, hee, hee.
Hyper Guyver: (sigh) Why are they always stones? At least he didn't puke on the carpet like Robert Downey Jr…
(Suddenly Arcturus pukes.)
Hyper Guyver: Aw shit! My mom going to kill me for this one!
Arcturus: Hee, hee, hee, I don't feel so good, hee, hee, hee.
Hyper Guyver: (Grabs mop and begins cleaning) Well, I guess that's it for this interview (Whispers "Thank god…")
But stay tuned next time when I interview Tassadar.
Arcturus: Hee, hee, hee…
Hyper Guyver: (Smacks Arcturus in head with mop) Uh… Good day and good night.
Arcturus: Uh… my… head hurts… Hee, hee, hee…
Hyper Guyver: (Knocks out Arcturus with Mop)
I know this one isn't as good, but I promise my Tasssadar interview will be much better.
You asked for it… You begged for it… You sent me threatening letters demanding for it… Now here it is, my next interview for my new Star Craft series… enjoy.
Welcome, I am Hyper Guyver, and welcome to the Hyper Guyver interviews. Follow me today as I continue to interview characters of the Star Craft game. Today's guest, visiting us is the notorious Arcturus Mengsk.
Hyper Guyver: Welcome Arcturus, I hope your trip from your "Terrain Dominion" was pleasant.
Arcturus: Fine, thank you. And by the way, I could here the sarcasm in your voice as you said "Terrain Dominion."
Hyper Guyver: Really… (Eye Roll)
Arcturus: Yes…
Hyper Guyver: Well, I guess we might as well get started… So, where to begin?
Arcturus: Well, it all started way back when, when I was a young confederate prospector in the good old days of Korhal…
Hyper Guyver: Right… Korhal had good old days…
Arcturus: It did, back before the obliteration from the confederates… after that it was a decaying perverted wasteland filled with violence and confederate hatred.
Hyper Guyver: says here that Korhal was a perverted tropic paradise filled with violence and confederate hatred.
Arcturus: Uh… well… uh… Well, no society is perfect… but we managed well…
Hyper Guyver: (Eye roll again)
Arcturus: I saw that.
Hyper Guyver: I know.
Arcturus: Moving along… After that I started up the Sons of Korhal. There we made our point clear to dislodge the Confederates from power.
Hyper Guyver: Uh… says here you couldn't even get past airport's security with a sharp stick… in fact if it weren't for Raynor you'd still be sucking down scotch outside the colonial territories.
Arcturus: I resent that! I strictly drink only whisky.
Hyper Guyver:…
Arcturus: Uh… could I have a minute?
Hyper Guyver: Uh… okay.
(Arcturus steps out into the bathroom, few minutes later smoke starts comes out.)
Hyper Guyver: (Sniff, sniff) Aw crap, not another pothead. (Sigh) I promised myself I wouldn't interview another one of them after the "Robert Downey Jr. incident."
(Arcturus steps out of bathroom looking refreshed.)
Arcturus: Aw… now where were we?
Hyper Guyver: uh, so what happened after that?
Arcturus: Well, I valiantly fought against the confederacy and in my finial glorious hour I brought them down.
Hyper Guyver: Says here you left your right hand woman Kerrigan to get the Zerg to do it, and then left her there to be killed by them. In fact in my last interview Kerrigan wanted me to give you this. (Hands Arcturus a big brown box)
Arcturus: (opens box) DEAR GOD! DUKE! That Bitch chopped off his head!
Hyper Guyver: Wow, that would defiantly explain why my rooms been smelling so bad… Uh, So we where talking about how you left your right hand woman Kerrigan to make the Zerg destroy the confederacy, and then left her there to be killed by them.
Arcturus: (Tosses head off to the side) Technicalities, technicalities… besides, if you have all those notes, why do you need to talk to me?
Hyper Guyver: Because they pay me to.
Arcturus: They pay you?!
Hyper Guyver: Well, not so much pay me… as threaten to beat the almighty hell out of me if I don't.
Arcturus: Hee, hee, hee.
Hyper Guyver: (Sigh) Moving right along… how does your new government work?
Arcturus: Hee, hee, hee, hee…
Hyper Guyver: Uh, Arcturus?
Arcturus: Hee, hee, hee, hee.
Hyper Guyver: (sigh) Why are they always stones? At least he didn't puke on the carpet like Robert Downey Jr…
(Suddenly Arcturus pukes.)
Hyper Guyver: Aw shit! My mom going to kill me for this one!
Arcturus: Hee, hee, hee, I don't feel so good, hee, hee, hee.
Hyper Guyver: (Grabs mop and begins cleaning) Well, I guess that's it for this interview (Whispers "Thank god…")
But stay tuned next time when I interview Tassadar.
Arcturus: Hee, hee, hee…
Hyper Guyver: (Smacks Arcturus in head with mop) Uh… Good day and good night.
Arcturus: Uh… my… head hurts… Hee, hee, hee…
Hyper Guyver: (Knocks out Arcturus with Mop)
I know this one isn't as good, but I promise my Tasssadar interview will be much better.
