Disclaimer: Jesus Christ! Do I have to write a disclaimer for everyone of
these god damn chapters?! (Sigh) Fine, I do not own the rights to Star
Craft or any Blizzard characters. And all that other blah, blah, blah…
Happy?
Welcome once more, readers to the Hyper Guyver Interviews. We continue on my quest to interview all the Star Craft characters, or die trying! (Uh… scratch the "or die trying"…) But I will continue to on my interviews to make you laugh or die trying! (Damn it, there I go again with the "or die trying" thing…) But anyways, last time I interviewed Arcturus Mengsk. (Still trying to get the puke out of the carpet…) and this time I'm continuing on with the Protoss hero, Tassadar.
Hyper Guyver: Welcome Tassadar
Tassadar: Thank you Hyper Guyver.
Hyper Guyver: I hope your trip here was pleasant… Hey wait a minute…
Tassadar: Huh?
Hyper Guyver: Shouldn't you be dead?
Tassadar: Uh… well… Uh, Yes! I am… Boooooooo… boooooooo… I'm the ghost of Tassadar…. Boooooooooo…. Boooooooo….
Hyper Guyver: Cut the crap.
Tassadar: (Sigh) Find…
Hyper Guyver: What was that all about?
Tassadar: Well when Blizzard and I where working out contracts for the expansion pack; this was before the Protoss campaign was finished…
Hyper Guyver: uh huh…
Tassadar: Well, somewhere down the line there was a fight over my pay for doing the expansion, and I ended up telling the executive producer where he could shove it… and may have made a comment or two about his sexual reference…
Hyper Guyver: Oh boy…
Tassadar: Yep, so they finished off the ending of the Protoss campaign with me getting killed… (Grumbles… "bastards"…).
Hyper Guyver: okay… moving along… when did you first become a Protoss High Templar?
Tassadar: Well, when I was a young templar of a hundred, I decided to join the High Templar caste. Sadly I though it would be a great way to meet women…
Hyper Guyver: That didn't go so well?
Tassadar: Nope, Not after Aldaris became a High Templar, women wouldn't even look at a High Templar after that.
Hyper Guyver: Ew, that must have made a bad mental image.
Tassadar: Yeah, it even got worse when Aldaris was found wearing a dress that one time…
Hyper Guyver: I did not need THAT mental image.
Tassadar: Sorry.
Hyper Guyver: So… what's with the ghost thing? If you didn't actually die, what's the point of making people think you did?
Tassadar: Well, it was just easier than dealing with all those computer geek fans and all those other losers that think I'm some sort of god.
Hyper Guyver: Hmmm…
(Artanis suddenly comes in)
Artanis: Hey Hyper Guyver, I wanted to ask you about the time you scheduled for my interview… OH MY GOD! THE MIGHTY TASSADAR!!!
Tassadar: Oh shit, here we go again…
Hyper Guyver: uh… Artanis, now is not the ti-…
Artanis: (Starts bowing) I'M NOT WORTHY! I'M NOT WORTHY!
Tassadar: CUT THE CRAP YOU LITTLE PRICK!
Artanis: Uh, sorry…
Hyper Guyver: (sigh) Artanis, now is not the time…
Artanis: Uh, Tassadar, sir, master, my liege…
Tassadar: What?!
Artanis: Uh, could you autograph my daybook planner?
Tassadar: Why don't you $@#%^&* off?
Artanis: OH MY GOD! THE MIGHT TASSADAR JUST TOLD ME TO $&@#%^* OFF! THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!!
Tassadar: (Sigh)
Hyper Guyver: Artanis, do you mind? I'm in the middle of an interview? This is very important work…
Artanis: Important work? You're doing the interview in you kitchen.
Hyper Guyver: (sigh) Hey Artanis, isn't that Fenix down the street?
Artanis: REALLY?! Maybe I can get him to sigh my underwear!
(Artanis takes off down the street)
Tassadar: Quick, lets get this over with; I don't know how long that will keep him distracted.
Hyper Guyver: Right… lets see here (shuffles through papers)… Uh, here we go! Uh, will you ever make an appearance in Star Craft 2?
Tassadar: (Looks through window) Oh shit! Artanis is making his way back here, got to go!
(Tassadar runs out through the back door)
Hyper Guyver: Wait! You didn't answer my question! (Sigh) Better lock the door before Artanis gets back…
Hyper Guyver: (closes door and locks it) Well it looks like this interview is over…
Artanis: (starts banging on the door) Hello? Tassadar, are you there?
Hyper Guyver: Uh, stay tuned next time when I interview Jim Raynor…
Artantis: (Bangs harder) Tassadar? Hyper Guyver? I know your there…
Hyper Guyver: Until next time, good day and good night…
Artanis: (Bangs even harder) Come on, I know your there!
(Hyper Guyver picks up phone and starts dialing)
Artanis: Come on! Let me in!
Hyper Guyver:… Hello? 9-1-1?…
Welcome once more, readers to the Hyper Guyver Interviews. We continue on my quest to interview all the Star Craft characters, or die trying! (Uh… scratch the "or die trying"…) But I will continue to on my interviews to make you laugh or die trying! (Damn it, there I go again with the "or die trying" thing…) But anyways, last time I interviewed Arcturus Mengsk. (Still trying to get the puke out of the carpet…) and this time I'm continuing on with the Protoss hero, Tassadar.
Hyper Guyver: Welcome Tassadar
Tassadar: Thank you Hyper Guyver.
Hyper Guyver: I hope your trip here was pleasant… Hey wait a minute…
Tassadar: Huh?
Hyper Guyver: Shouldn't you be dead?
Tassadar: Uh… well… Uh, Yes! I am… Boooooooo… boooooooo… I'm the ghost of Tassadar…. Boooooooooo…. Boooooooo….
Hyper Guyver: Cut the crap.
Tassadar: (Sigh) Find…
Hyper Guyver: What was that all about?
Tassadar: Well when Blizzard and I where working out contracts for the expansion pack; this was before the Protoss campaign was finished…
Hyper Guyver: uh huh…
Tassadar: Well, somewhere down the line there was a fight over my pay for doing the expansion, and I ended up telling the executive producer where he could shove it… and may have made a comment or two about his sexual reference…
Hyper Guyver: Oh boy…
Tassadar: Yep, so they finished off the ending of the Protoss campaign with me getting killed… (Grumbles… "bastards"…).
Hyper Guyver: okay… moving along… when did you first become a Protoss High Templar?
Tassadar: Well, when I was a young templar of a hundred, I decided to join the High Templar caste. Sadly I though it would be a great way to meet women…
Hyper Guyver: That didn't go so well?
Tassadar: Nope, Not after Aldaris became a High Templar, women wouldn't even look at a High Templar after that.
Hyper Guyver: Ew, that must have made a bad mental image.
Tassadar: Yeah, it even got worse when Aldaris was found wearing a dress that one time…
Hyper Guyver: I did not need THAT mental image.
Tassadar: Sorry.
Hyper Guyver: So… what's with the ghost thing? If you didn't actually die, what's the point of making people think you did?
Tassadar: Well, it was just easier than dealing with all those computer geek fans and all those other losers that think I'm some sort of god.
Hyper Guyver: Hmmm…
(Artanis suddenly comes in)
Artanis: Hey Hyper Guyver, I wanted to ask you about the time you scheduled for my interview… OH MY GOD! THE MIGHTY TASSADAR!!!
Tassadar: Oh shit, here we go again…
Hyper Guyver: uh… Artanis, now is not the ti-…
Artanis: (Starts bowing) I'M NOT WORTHY! I'M NOT WORTHY!
Tassadar: CUT THE CRAP YOU LITTLE PRICK!
Artanis: Uh, sorry…
Hyper Guyver: (sigh) Artanis, now is not the time…
Artanis: Uh, Tassadar, sir, master, my liege…
Tassadar: What?!
Artanis: Uh, could you autograph my daybook planner?
Tassadar: Why don't you $@#%^&* off?
Artanis: OH MY GOD! THE MIGHT TASSADAR JUST TOLD ME TO $&@#%^* OFF! THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE!!!!
Tassadar: (Sigh)
Hyper Guyver: Artanis, do you mind? I'm in the middle of an interview? This is very important work…
Artanis: Important work? You're doing the interview in you kitchen.
Hyper Guyver: (sigh) Hey Artanis, isn't that Fenix down the street?
Artanis: REALLY?! Maybe I can get him to sigh my underwear!
(Artanis takes off down the street)
Tassadar: Quick, lets get this over with; I don't know how long that will keep him distracted.
Hyper Guyver: Right… lets see here (shuffles through papers)… Uh, here we go! Uh, will you ever make an appearance in Star Craft 2?
Tassadar: (Looks through window) Oh shit! Artanis is making his way back here, got to go!
(Tassadar runs out through the back door)
Hyper Guyver: Wait! You didn't answer my question! (Sigh) Better lock the door before Artanis gets back…
Hyper Guyver: (closes door and locks it) Well it looks like this interview is over…
Artanis: (starts banging on the door) Hello? Tassadar, are you there?
Hyper Guyver: Uh, stay tuned next time when I interview Jim Raynor…
Artantis: (Bangs harder) Tassadar? Hyper Guyver? I know your there…
Hyper Guyver: Until next time, good day and good night…
Artanis: (Bangs even harder) Come on, I know your there!
(Hyper Guyver picks up phone and starts dialing)
Artanis: Come on! Let me in!
Hyper Guyver:… Hello? 9-1-1?…
