Author's Note: I am terribly sorry for the delay, but I was on vacation and thus could not work on this for a while. Here's the next installment.
Ch12: Covington Wood
Scene opens to show Ivy walking along in the forest. She starts humming the Andy Griffith Show theme. She stumbles into an uprooted tree and impales herself on its roots.
M. Night Shyamalan: CUT!
Three months pass while Ivy gets surgery on what can only be described as "a freak walking accident".
Scene re-opens to show Ivy walking towards the accursed stump again.
Accursed Stump: (hiss)
Ivy, this time, doesn't impale herself but starts rubbing her hands all over the tree's roots in an eerie manner. Get outside more, Ivy.
Accursed Stump: WTF!
Ivy then continues walking. The shot is positioned so you can see her waist and above. Then she suddenly disappears, because the cameraman fell down a huge hole. Idiot. They cut it out to show Ivy walking along and her falling into the hole this time. She lets out a freakish yelp noise that sounds like a barracuda stuck in a vat of hot oil mixed with cornmeal. Her robes come up. A bunch of the guys watching laugh devilishly for a moment, but then realize that they didn't come up far enough to show anything.
Guys in the Audience: Dammit...
Ivy climbs back up laboriously. She is completely covered in mud, and for some reason starts sobbing uncontrollably. She rubs off all of the mud from her yellow cloak/robe thing, all the while making this freakish grunting crying noise. After doing this for about 12 minutes, she gets up and starts walking along the road. She is tapping her cane against the ground repeatedly, very loudly and too hard.
Daredevil: Would you stop that? The blue sound waves from hell are bugging me.
Ivy: Oh sure no problem.
She continues walking through the thick underbrush when she hears a crack. She looks down and sees that her cane has a tiny crack in it. She takes it and breaks it in half for some reason. Silly Ivy. Once she snaps it, she hears a twig breaking.
Twig: Snap crackle pop.
She somehow produces a big rock and hurls it into the distance. A mimic is made.
Eerie Flashback from Nowhere: The Village Enquirer says that they mimic before they attack...
Ivy then turns around. Noa– I mean... a one of those-we-don't-talk-about-much-because-their-actual-names-are-really-hard-to-pronounce is standing there swaying back and forth eerily.
Ivy: EXPECTO PATRONUM! (shoots a silvery aardvark out of her wand. It was horribly aimed though, since Ivy is, in fact, blind. The aardvark runs off and attacks the camera circuitry.)
Noa—I mean... the creature (sheepish laugh) lunges itself at Ivy. That aardvark must've done some real damage to the camera. It's like all slowed-down and choppy now. Wierd. Ivy dodges somehow, and the creature runs off into the distance. Ivy runs for her bloody life and gets behind a tree. She is breathing heavily.
Freaky Bald Kid: There is no spoon. I mean creature.
Neo: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU! THE SPOON IS RIGHT THERE!
The freaky bald kid runs away in bullettime while Neo chases after him humming the lobby theme. Back to Ivy.
Ivy: (panting) It's not real...
t.w.d.t.a.m.b.t.a.n.a.r.h.t.p.: Grunt!
Ivy turns around and sees it. Even though she's blind. Nice one, Mr. Shyamalan.
M. Night Shyamalan: Shuddup.
Ivy: OMGOMGOMG! (starts running for her bloody life)
She runs away, with her hands out in front of her to stop the tree branches from hitting her face. She apparently is really unsettlingly fast, because the creature is nowhere to be seen. She runs into the Accursed Stump and impales herself.
M. Night Shyamalan: CUT!
After about three months of rehab, Ivy is back and well again. Except for the three bloody wounds in her chest. Oh well. Time is money.
Scene reopens and shows Ivy running away again. This time she creeps closely up to the stump and feels it. She then walks over to the edge of the hole and holds her hands out. She doesn't pull her pants down though.
Guys in the Audience: dammit...
The creature comes running up behind her and sees her. He then bolts toward her and lunges. The scene goes into bullettime as Ivy leans back freakishly far matrix dodges the creature. It falls into the hole, and Ivy starts walking away. The scene changes to show Noah in the hole.
Noah: (dying) Grruunt! Rraawwrr! (dies)
Scene fades.
