This is a story that my friends and I wrote over the course of the school year. Final Fantasy characters take overthat horrible, crappy godforesaken place we call school. We don't own the Final Fantasy characters. SquareSoft/SquareEnix does.


School Days Daze

(First class: Math Instructor: Leon)


(RC, Dustin & Saverio walk in)

RC: Well, hiya Leon!

Leon: Sit down and shut up.

Dustin: That's a bitch.

Leon: What was that?

Dustin: Nothing.

Leon: Thought so.

(Everyone takes a seat)

Leon: This, as you should already know, is math class

Random kid: No shit!

Leon: (shoots the kid) as I was saying. Now, let's go over my rules. Okay, rule one: If you want to talk, hell, by all means talk. Just keep it clean. Rule two: If you answer a question wrong, you die. If you get it right, well whoop-de-fucking-do, I really don't give a shit. Any questions?

(A random kid, we'll call him Joey, raises his hand)

Leon: What?

Joey: So, uh, who are those bitches in the corner?

Leon: If you really must know, they're Luca and Rinoa, my apprentice and my girl. Now. I'm afraid I have to kill you.

Joey: What'd I do?

Leon: Uh, Luca?

Luca: (pulls out a tape recorder, pushes play.)

Recorder: 'So, uh, who are those bitches in the corner?'

Leon: (shoots Joey: Now then. (Walks around the class, points to RC) What's your name?

RC: Don'tcha got like a role call sheet or something?

Leon: Answer the question!

RC: I'm known as RC.

Leon: Okay RC, name all the Final Fantasy 9 characters.

RC: Um. With all due respect sir. That game as a piece of shit. I didn't really play it, so I wouldn't know.

Leon: Very true. You get an A.

RC: Awesome!

(Saverio raises his hand)

Leon: Yes?

Saverio: Can I go to the nurse.

Leon: Why?

Saverio: I'm suffering from uh, head trauma! Yeah. And er, internal bleeding! Yeah, that'll work.

Leon: Very well.

Saverio; Yes! (Runs out)

Leon: Okay. You! (Points to Dustin) State your name then I'll ask you another question.

Dustin: I'm Dustin.

Luca: Dustin! (Laughs insanely) What the hell is a Dustin?

(She continues to laugh until Rinoa hits her in the head with a rock.)

Luca: Ow! LEON! She did it again!

Leon: You deserved it. Now, (grabs Luca's tail, sits her down on a desk.) just stay there. Okay, Dustin. Who's you're favorite Final Fantasy character?

Dustin: Oh that's easy. It's Cl-Leon! You are Leon!

Leon: Really? You get an A.

Dustin: Yes!

Luca: But he was about to say Cloud!

Dustin: You really hate me, don't you?

Luca: Just your name.

Leon: (To a random student) Name all the Final Fantasy 8 characters.

Random student: Well, there's you, uh, uh- ah fuck it, I got nothing.

RC: Isn't this a math class?

Leon: Yes.

RC: Then why aren't we learning anything math related?

Leon: Do you want to?

RC: No.

Leon: Okay then.

RC: Can I see your gunblade?

Leon: Why should I let you do that?

RC: Because you're my favorite character?..

Leon: Good enough for me. (Tosses RC the gunblade)

Dustin: I wanna see it!

Luca: Only people with COOL names can see it. Dustin, heh. Aw, that's rich. (Laughs wildly)

(Rinoa hits her with another rock.)

Luca: Ouch! That's the seventh time today! Leon! Make her stop! And, where are you getting those from anyway?

Rinoa: (points to a random box of rocks.) There's plenty more where that came from.

Luca: Damn box. (Growls at it)

Leon: (looks at clock) Well, it's time to leave. Class dismissed.

(Everyone starts to leave.)

Leon: RC, I need my gunblade back.

RC: No.

Leon: RC.

RC: Uh-uh.

Leon: GIVE ME THE DAMN WEAPON!

RC: NO!

(Luca bites RC's arm, causing her to drop the gunblade. She picks it up, gives it back to Leon, and sits at his side and purrs.)

RC: (looks at her arm, back at Luca) You bit me, you little rat!

Luca: (glares at RC and growls.) I'M A CAT GOD DAMMIT! (Holds up her tail.) I've got a CAT'S TAIL! Look at my cute CAT EARS! They're adorable! I just PURRED a few seconds ago! Damn, you guys piss me off!

(storms off cursing and muttering under her breath, she swings her gunblade wildly, hitting random people as she passes by.)

Others: …………………