xXxEDITING PROCESS 7/15/09xXx


Chapter 5: A Pep Talk

Must clung to the sheets on the bed Harry awoke- Sirius's bed- a dark ceiling above him and dusty covers that enveloped him.

He slid on his glasses and stood to find his and Ron's shared room. As expected, Ron's things were already scattered on his coverlet, robes flopping halfway to the floor. His moving Viktor Krum poster hung on the wall nearest the door, scowling gloomily and handsomely at Harry as he observed his surroundings. Harry's things were already in place on and near his cot, along with Hedwig.

A ball of puffy feathers burst into the bedroom. Ron's owl Pig bombarded him and Harry brushed him away impatiently as the tiny owl pecked him happily. Hedwig watched the scene unfolded with an undisguised and appalled hoot. Harry ventured downstairs, taking a moment to observe the same distorted heads of the once living House Elves living in the Black house; the curtained and silent portrait of Mrs. Black; and the troll leg of an umbrella stand. To his relief, Kreacher had been evidently kicked out of Headquarters.

Sitting in the front room, reading the newest Daily Prophet, was Lupin. He looked up at Harry expectantly, "Sleep well, Harry?"

"Where is everyone else," Harry said after he nodded. Lupin rose to his feet, presenting him with a plate of eggs and toast.

"Some breakfast?" Harry accepted with a thankful smile. Lupin seated back down, folding his newspaper. "The Aurors are at the office right now. Mrs. Weasly took everyone else to see Fred and George's new shop in Diagon Alley. They should be back later depending how long they plan on staying out." Harry finished up silently and Lupin looked like he wanted to say more to him but instead patted his shoulder and continued reading. Harry went back upstairs, feeling strangely ignored and wandered the house a bit.

It looked black and dirty as ever. He found a few locked doors and couldn't open them with the Unlocking Charm. Harry found himself sinking deeper and deeper into a clouded, lonely depression. He looked into the room with the battered tapestry and discovered Sirius's useless knife on the floor below it.

Harry entered, bending down to scoop it up and clutching it to his chest with a pained expression. A distant voice said softly to him, "Sirius was honorable."

He spun around, feeling a twinge of embarrassment. A tall woman stood in the corner of the room, her hand lying flat to the tapestry. Her thick black hair laid on her shoulders concealed by a basic-looking black robe. She stepped towards him, gazing at the tapestry behind him with her darkish brown eyes, "I remember he use to spend all his time at his friend's house instead of home. Even on holiday from school. He hated his own family so much... I couldn't blame him, of course," she said, cringing a little at her own words.

"Who are you?" Harry's voice came out angry.

Her black-painted fingernails brushed against a charred hole. "Darcie Black... Sirius and Regulus Black's younger sister." It seemed a bit unreal to Harry that moment. That a flesh-and-blood female clan of the Black's still existed... related to Sirius directly to his blood... standing right in front of him.

"Why is it Sirius has never mentioned you before?" came his suspicious question.

Darcie gave Harry an exasperated glance, "Could you blame him? I was a Deatheater. No one ever wanted to mention me, no one I cared for anyway. I was worse then Regulus. They all pretended I didn't exist when I turned to Dumbledore's side. I grew to hate being on the side of the Dark Lord and backed out before it got really grim. My lovely Mum hated me for it." She gestured to a burnt hole with a sour expression, murmuring, "I haven't seen this place in ages..."

Harry glowered, but very much bemused. "Why are you here?"

Her voice was soft and steady, "To care for you," she twiddled her fingers nervously, "That's what a godmother does when her godchild is left parentless."

He stumbled back. "G-Godmother?"

"After Sirius was appointed as your godfather, I met up with Lily. We knew each other from Hogwarts and I got to see James again. They were having a spot of trouble finding a godmother for you. They were considering making it Molly Weasley since they were very good friends with her at the time. But in the end, they chose me. I guess... they believed I could be given a second chance, and believe you me Harry, you don't get a lot of second chances in life. When I got here last week, Molly was very hostile towards me. She is still envious that I am the one who is to take care of you. I have nothing against the dear girl but her jealousy is very silly to me. We aren't schoolgirls anymore and the fact that she is still clinging to it-"

Harry interrupted, "-I'm not sure I want an ex-Deatheater to be my guardian. You walk in here, talking about Sirius and saying Mrs. Weasley is silly. You expect me to know you?"

She shook her head, "No. And if you don't want me to take care of you than its ok. I wouldn't trust me either."

But Harry wasn't finished, he raged on, "Where were you when I was little? Or in my first year? Second? Third? Fourth? Fifth? SIXTH? You're my godmother, why didn't you take care of me? HUH!"

Darcie pressed her lips together shamefully.

"You were under the care of your aunt and uncle. I couldn't take care of you. I talked to Dumbledore about this... he thought living with them would be better for you, then living with... well, like you said, an ex-Deatheater." She hovered into his air space, whispering very softly, "The fact is, Harry, you no longer need to be watched. You're a big boy now. You can handle yourself."

She backed away with a serious eyebrow quirk and he spoke up, "I'll think about it." She never ceased a step on her way out.

"Whatever makes you happy."

Harry looked back at Sirius's knife. This was too much to handle. Harry disappeared into the dimly-lit hallway and headed straight for his room when Mrs. Black's portrait started hollering. Downstairs, a large group of people standing, chatting loudly nearest the landing, Tonks had been the one who caused the racket by knocking over the umbrella stand. He knew this by the bright pink in her cheeks. The Aurors arrived behind them, probably stopping for a short meeting. He could make out all the Weasley's bright red hair and Hermione's bushy head.

They looked like they had Flooed and were excitedly talking about the new shop. Harry saw his best friend's satisfied, ashy faces, looking the same as they had in sixth year. He resist the enormous urge of running down and hugging the living daylights out of them right then and there by turning away and finishing his route. As soon as Harry got into his room, he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. He pretended to rummage through his trunk. Harry twisted keenly around to his friends as they entered . Ron stood behind a trembling Hermione. They were completely still at the sight of him.

Harry caught a glimpse of the tears shining in Hermione's eyes and he grinned at her warmly, asking, "Where's my hug Hermione?"

She laughed, embracing him securely and murmuring, "...We heard."

Harry burrowed his brows, pulling away, "Heard what?"

Ron said, "Lupin mentioned Bellatrix coming your house."

"Oh, are you alright?"

He said sincerely to her, pleasure filling his being, "Yes. She fled like a coward."

Harry turned to Ron, "Good to see you mate."

Ron smirked, giving him an one-armed hug, "Dinner's starting. Coming down?" Ron and Hermione left the room; Harry trailed behind them and noticed that they gave each other a shy glance. Letting out a snort of laughter, he threw his arms around their shoulders and led them downstairs into the kitchen. Mrs. Weasley hugged him forcefully upon seeing him, "Oh Harry, dear!"

Arthur Weasley pulled her away and shook Harry's hand violently. As they all sat down at the dining table, an azure-haired Tonks grinned at him from across the way, "Wotcher, Harry." He returned the grin and tucked in, plates of delicious food passed around, and Harry greedily eyed them as if they were mounts of treasure. Harry ate like he had been starved insane. Molly Weasley clicked her tongue in sympathy as he downed his third helping. He looked down the long table, to his astonishment, Darcie sat beside Tonks and was engaged an a very friendly conversation. Harry caught Mrs. Weasly giving her a look of pure antipathy and Darcie pretended not to perceive the look, cupping her face away from the red-haired woman.

He looked at his friends, trying to take his mind off it. "How was your summers?"

Ron swallowed his half chewed lump of meat. "Not much happened."

Hermione agreed, "Yes, it was a tad dull. How was yours, Harry?"

He set down his fork, knowing that they would have asked, seeing how he set himself up for the retaliation. Harry shrugged, lying, "Nothing happened really."

She gave him a stern look, "Don't lie Harry, when I called you before, you were ready to break out of your aunt and uncle's house. What happened?"

Harry felt his irritation rise, he said with clenched teeth and clenched fists, "I'd rather not talk about it Hermione. Leave it."

Ron tried to stop her but Hermione slammed down her napkin, "No Harry, you have to talk to us! You have to let us know what's wrong!"

Lupin intervened, "Hermione, I think Harry has-"

"No! I think his friends have a right to know what's the matter! Why won't you talk to us Harry?"

"BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T GET IT!" Harry's temper boiled over.

"Get what?"

"YOU THINK YOU WOULD UNDERSTAND? YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE TO SEE THE PATHETIC VERSION OF YOURSELF AND TO REALIZE HOW SAD YOU REALLY ARE AFTER ALL THIS TIME! OR GRASP THE FACT THAT EVERYTHING YOU ONCE BELIEVED IN AND EVERYONE YOU KNEW IS BECOMING A COMPLETE LIE! OR WAKE UP IN THE MORNING AND FINALLY RECOGNIZE THAT YOUR DESTINY DEPENDS ON EITHER BECOMING A MURDERER OR BEING MURDERED TO SAVE EVERYONE ELSE FROM 'UNSPEAKABLE EVIL'!" He knocked his chair over and stormed up to his room, feeling a huge release of frustration fade from him. Harry slammed his bedroom door close and threw himself alongside the wall, smashing his fists against the bricks and panting hard.

He took up his best friend's letters from his trunk and tearing them to shreds, close to shedding tears. Ripped bits flew everywhere.

"Nice speech down there Harry. Fred and George was right... you shouldn't bottle up your anger like that."

Harry muttered, wiping his forehead with his sleeve, "Ginny, what do you want?"

The youngest Weasly eyed the room from the closet doorway, hazel eyes emotionless, "Hey, I don't think I've ever had a real good look at this place. It looks better then the room Hermione and I are staying in." Ginny jumped on Ron's bed, kicking her feet up. He swallowed, beginning tos weep up the paper pieces.

"Ginny, really, I'm not in the mood."

She rolled her eyes, "Come on, we need to have a nice talk. We haven't had a good talk in a long while." Ginny sat up, her mood become somber, "Harry, I know you had a bad fifth year and difficult sixth, and that you're trying to cope with Sirius's death... but you need to get over it, and fast." Ginny threw up her hands when Harry stared at her, "I'm not trying to be offense to Sirius's memory. I'm really not. Just listen to me. Life does suck, but we have to deal. Or else we'd be walking basket cases. Get what I mean?" She shrugged, brushing her robes, "Alright...I can see your temper is threatening to rise again. I'm glad we had this chat though. You know, we should have more of these often." She went over squeezed his shoulder, "Don't be too down on yourself, ok?"

She winked sweetly and left Harry to think about what she said. He thought about it as sleep overtook him.