Disclaimer: The characters aren't mine, they belong to MCA/Universal. Just playing around with them a bit.
Author's Note: This story is in response to a fanfic challenge. A bit of Joxer silliness, really. Would love to hear what you think of it, so please review. Thanks!

Sweet Tooth
by Xedra

Joxer had a toothache. He pressed his palm against his jaw and winced. Sighing, he shook his head in disgust at himself and how gullible he could be.

Earlier that day he'd met up with a peculiar man named Falafel who sold some rather scary looking food at his roadside stand.

"You hungry, my good friend?" Falafel exclaimed upon seeing him. "Yes, of course you are. Come, you will not find better food at a better price for miles!"

It had been close to noon and though he'd been feeling a bit hungry, his stomach recoiled immediately at the sight of some of the things the man was stuffing into a pita. When he caught a whiff of a strange concoction steaming in one of the pots he quickly shook his head. "Uh, no thanks," he stammered, backing away. "I'm not all that hungry and I really don't have time to stop and eat right now, so---"

Not wanting to lose a potential customer, the vendor dropped the pita and scooted around his stall. He grabbed Joxer's elbow, pulling him back. "But you like sweets, yes? Of course, you do, everyone likes sweets. Come, come, I have something here you can take with you and enjoy later."

Falafel ducked behind the stand and produced a small pouch, opened it, and poured out a pile of honey-colored lumps. Joxer loved sweets, but he eyed them warily and asked what they were made of, to which the vendor shrugged and said, "Some honey, some spices... secret recipe, my friend! You try, go on, you try and you will love them!"

Joxer picked one off the top of the pile. It was slightly sticky. He sniffed it cautiously, but didn't smell anything offending or potentially dangerous to his health. The vendor gave him an encouraging nod and waved a hand for him to go ahead. Joxer took a breath and popped one in his mouth.

His eyes went wide with surprise. The smooth taste of honey and mellow spices rolled around on his tongue. He smiled at the vendor and nodded, ready to purchase the pouchfull, when he bit down.

CRACK!

Joxer gasped and spit out the sweet as pain radiated through his jaw. He moaned and glared at the vendor. "What in Tartarus was in that?"

Falafel slapped a hand to his forehead. "Oh, no, that's the third time today!" He shook his head sorrowfully. "I'm so sorry, my friend. I keep forgetting to say that you must suck on the 'rock candy' only, not chew! For your trouble, I give you the rest for half price, yes?"

Joxer hissed through the pain and gave him an incredulous look. The vendor scooped the honey-covered bits of rock back into the pouch and held it out to him. "Sorry, sorry! You take it with you, my gift! And tell your friends? The honey and spices are delicious, yes?"

Joxer gave him a singularly dark look, which had the vendor taking a hasty step back and exclaiming his apologies again. Joxer grunted and turned away, walking quickly, but carefully, away for every step sent shards of pain through his jaw.

Joxer shook his head again at his stupidity. He'd been walking for hours to reach the next town where, thankfully, his cousin Jaffus lived. His cousin was a healer, another oddball in a family of warlords and assassins, and Joxer trusted him to pull his damaged tooth.

As he made his way through the marketplace in the center of town to the healer's hut, Joxer glanced at some of the wares, his stomach rumbling at the smell of the roasted lamb someone was selling on skewers, but when his eye caught sight of a stall with an assortment of cakes and candies, he groaned as his jaw began to throb harder. He all but ran to the hut, wincing with each step, his heart sinking as he realized when his cousin was done he'd no longer have a sweet tooth.

FIN