Alternate Universe
A Yu Yu Hakusho fan-fiction
By Zelia Theb
Disclaimer: Yu Yu Hakusho is the property of Yoshihiro Togashi.
The opinions expressed by the characters do not reflect the opinions of myself.
Warnings: Male-Male relationships, cursing, sexual situations, violence, tobacco, drug/alcohol use, and possibly other disturbing innuendo. Rated R for these reasons!
--------------
Genkai's place was completely deserted. Even better. Kurama stumbled upon a journal which indicated that we would be free from this world's pathetic government, and free from her. Seems like the old hag wasn't able to pass down her techniques to anyone here. One less person to stand in my way.
At least I won't have to stay anywhere near this group. They all have their own separate rooms, and there's no need to worry about anyone intruding on our sleep. It'll be entertaining to watch them find food before Kurama wakes up. Stupid humans.
Especially Kuwabara, but especially Yusuke. He should be on his knees and thanking me for not slaying him as soon as we stepped foot into this dimension. He's been annoying Kurama since yesterday. I saw the way he touched him in that horrid nightclub. Thankfully I am aware of Kurama's feelings toward the detective. He won't even look at him after that wretched display.
I find myself in the fox's room now. He has grown two plants that act as candles, and is preparing a futon for himself. My allies are lucky to have found such a well-equipped dwelling.
"I was not expecting you to come here, Hiei," he says, his red-hair glowing a strange orange from the stale light.
"Hn." How absurd. He knows that I make it a habit to get what I want. It's bad enough that Koenma denies me my freedom, despite the fact that I torture myself every day in the chains of Yusuke's city.
I hear footsteps coming from afar. They belong to the arrogant detective. Perhaps he will learn his place if I allow him to walk in to an unexpected sight.
With blinding speed I am standing right in front of my target. I seize his human wrists roughly, then pull Kurama down eye to eye.
"No, Hiei." No?
"Why not, Kurama?" The footsteps have stopped and turned in a different direction. He's better off.
The fox breaks free of my hold, but says nothing. Damn you, Kurama. I need a reason. My desire for you is comparable to my desire to see Demon World again…yet you deny me just as Koenma does.
"I have needs, Kurama. You can't lead me around on a leash and not expect that this wouldn't come up sooner or later," I sneer at him, trying with all my might to read those emerald orbs of his. They tease me, shielding his true thoughts.
"I haven't led you on, Hiei!" he utters in a low tone of voice. How can he speak to me as if I was an enemy? He truly is ruthless.
"Forget it. I would be able to move on if I had some sort of closure, but apparently you're not even good enough for that. Good night, Kurama."
"Who's there?" I demand, leaping down from my perch in the tree. I stare across the moonlit clearing and watch as the silhouette of Mairaku appears from the bamboo forest. I should have known that they would have followed us. If they knew about our lives in the other world then they would know to come to Genkai's compound in this one.
I draw my sword, impatiently awaiting my opponent's first move. He steps forward a few more steps, then stops when the light of the ashen moon has fully illuminated his figure.
"I'm not here to fight you or your comrades, Hiei," he declares.
"You certainly didn't come here to prance in the meadows," I scathingly point out. If his motive for being here is to talk then perhaps I should cut off that mouth of his.
"I came here to apologize."
I blink. Apologize? Those sorts of things mean nothing to me. There is nothing that he could have done to hurt me enough to warrant an apology.
"You've already forgotten. I can see by that look in your eyes, which are so strikingly similar to my own…" he says, "I wanted to say that I am sorry for insulting you. You must know now that I am half-demon and half-human. Such an affront to you was improper and hypocritical." He feels regret over that pitiful comment made last night?
"If you are trying to earn my trust and turn me against the detective, you're wasting your time," I inform him. My sword is lowered now, but I am ready to attack in an instant.
"I don't intend on turning you against anyone. If I'm not mistaken, your only true ally is yourself." Tch. So he thinks that he knows everything about me.
"I want to see the Demon World, Hiei. I was born here, but my entire life has been spent as an outcast, avoiding the government, and searching for a way to my real home."
"So? What makes you think that I care?" I glower at him.
He takes another non-threatening step forward, allowing me to see the sincerity in his eyes. This half-breed must be insane for trusting me so easily. His hair sways and shimmers a deep blue as he continues to walk forward. Now we are seeing eye to eye, being a mere foot apart.
"I have found that way home. I am offering you the opportunity to leave."
I shift an eyebrow up inquisitively and affirm, "I don't want live in your world."
"There is something you must understand about the power of Anduromida, Hiei…" Oh wonderful, a long speech. How utterly tiresome.
"We can only open a portal to another dimension, but that only leads us to the same type of world we opened the portal in. To put it clearly, if we open up the portal in Human World, we land in Human World. You could go back to your Demon World." Now this piques my interests…
"There's just one outstanding flaw in your proposal," I smirk, "All four pendants have to be together in order to create that portal. I highly doubt that your group intends on letting me get my hands on them, or that you want me to kill you to obtain yours."
"That is a predicament, isn't it?" Mairaku shrugs, "Next time we meet, the answer will become much clearer." He quickly disappears into the forest, not afraid to turn his back to my sword. His intentions are not clear to me.
There are many angles that he could be going for. He may be using me as a pawn to leave the detective in this forsaken world, or as a way to ensure his own escape from Anduromida. Either way, I don't care.
"Don't you think that we should talk about this first?" I ask Kurama. First he doesn't talk to me all day, then he creeps into my room, goes under my covers, and wakes me up by…
Damn, where's the romance? You'd think a guy who uses a flower (A rose no less!) would be more of a gentleman.
"What's there to talk about?" he asks, raising himself from off of my chest. Whew, I can breath again. I push him up a bit more so that I can sit up myself.
"How about stuff like, 'Oh, I've liked you since…', or 'I'm just lookin' for some action' or…"
"Oh, I apologize Yusuke," he interrupts, "You're right, I did get a bit too carried away." He brushes his hair out of his face and looks at me apologetically.
"A bit? Instead of nudging me awake you decided to shove your tongue in my ear!" Yes, I am complaining. Women will never understand, but guys don't always think about sex all the time. In fact, I'm regretting the fact that I even made out with Kurama naked in a bathtub! So what, maybe at that instant my masculine hormones decided to take over, but at least I feel guilty about it.
"I'm sorry, Yusuke." Kurama leans in close to me, and takes my hand into his own. Much better. I'm such a fricken girl…
"So what's your deal? I know what mine is…"
"I could go by your model," he begins, stroking my hand in the process, "I've 'liked' you for quite some time. In fact, I was taken by your looks alone, that first time we met on the street." He moves his hand out of mine and places it on the side of my face; "To answer the other half, my brash action was a result of my pent up frustration, released because I knew it was safe to admit my feelings to you." I'm kissed by him quickly, and my face returns to his hand. It's…weird. He almost seems upset.
"Eer…Kurama…I'm not sure what to say to that," I stammer like an idiot, "I mean, I've had fantasies here and there but I guess it wasn't for as long as you've liked me." Stupid, stupid!
"It doesn't matter, I just wanted you to know." He gives me a hug, which of course I return, then whispers, "Does it bother you?"
"Does what bother me?"
"That I'm not actually a human…" What a dumb question. He laughs; "Judging by that smile on your face I take it that was a silly question."
"So what do we do?" I mean, if we're stuck here forever, eventually we're gonna have to tell someone that we're together. That is, if he wants to stay together.
"Well, for as much as I'd love to take you right now…" He stops, probably seeing the incredibly terrified look on my face. Does he mean…?! He grins wryly then goes on; "It's probably best that we take caution with this. It is important that we make it home safely, and…"
"Make sure that Hiei doesn't find out," I finish. Well, it wasn't that hard to hear what he was yelling about earlier.
"That was you in the hall, wasn't it." I nod and he gives me a reassuring kiss on my face. He stands and heads for the sliding door, and I follow him out into the hall.
"Where're ya goin'?" I question, tugging at his wrist for him to turn around. At least say bye, or good night, or something!
"I'm going to bed," he replies. Well duh!
"Oh…I see," he smiles, placing his hands at my sides and pulling me in, "I didn't give a proper good night!"
"Damn straight ya didn't," I pout, trying to trick him into kissing me again. As I found out last night, he's a great kisser, and I won't mind trying to coerce him into giving me one whenever I want.
As our lips are locked, and our hands are tightly clutching each other in the dark wooden hallway, the sound of a sliding door a few feet away and a gruff sounding 'AHH!' gives us our cue to breathe. So much for keeping things quiet.
"AHH!" Kuwabara shouts again, "What are you doing?!"
"Oh, there's that eyelash, Kurama!" I try and cover up.
"Oh, thanks Yusuke," he plays along, "It was really bothering my eye!" Well, someone as dumb as my tall classmate there might have bought that whole act if Kurama had let go of me! Not that I'm complaining…but…
The door to Botan's room slides open, and there she is, in a miraculous pair of pink pajamas, holding a plank of wood like a baseball bat. She looks at Kuwabara quickly, then says, "Where are they? Lemme at them!" She swings her blue hair our way and drops the board on the floor.
"I knew it!" she yells, pointing a finger at Kurama and I. Oh come on, seeing as she interrupts two out of three times Kurama and I even get a chance to be alone, I thought that it would have been obvious to her.
"Shut up Botan!" I shout, thinking of Hiei. Maybe I shouldn't have shouted.
"Well what are you going to tell Keiko back at home?" she asks, concerned as usual. Eer…I have to tell her?
"Dang, Urameshi. Does this mean you're like gay or something? I'm totally not taking a shower with you in gym class anymore…" Kurama frowns when Kuwabara says this.
"I'm not…It's like this…I…uh…" Wow, Yusuke! First prize in the public speaking category!
"Kuwabara, I don't believe that you're being very fair to…" Yeah, whatever Kurama's saying.
"AIYEE!" Botan screams at the top of her lungs. Probably because I ran up to her and touched her ass. Man, what the hell have I been waiting for all this time?
"That's one sweet ass, Botan," I comment as I'm slapped across the face.
"Hey, I was just kiddin', Urameshi," the dullard defends, crossing his arms, "No need to be a jerkface and go assaulting Botan."
"I'm not sure if you saw what just happened but I think that the one who was assaulted was me!" I shout. Good thing I broke away from Kurama. Seems like we are being pretty loud out here.
"What the hell are you all screaming about in here!" Hiei scowls in more of a statement than a question. Well speak of the devil. Literally.
"Well…"
I interrupt Kuwabara by placing my arm around Botan and lie, "Botan and I were making out, then Kuwabara found us and freaked out." Botan's eyelids twitch a bit, but then I pinch her on her side so she knows to play along.
"Then why did Botan screech like that?" Damn, buddy! Quit making a mountain out of a mole hill!
"Oh, you know silly ol' me," she giggles, mimicking me and putting her arm around my waist. Yeah…that's what I'm talkin' about! She squeezes a bit for show then explains, "I just wasn't expecting everyone to find out so quickly! I was so startled, but I guess the cat's out of the bag now! Meow!"
"Yeah, so can everyone give us some privacy?" I play. Hehe, wink wink, nudge nudge.
Kurama motions for Kuwabara to walk away, but they stop when they see that Hiei is unphased by the whole charade. His eyebrows lower, and he stares a hole into me; "You're hiding something."
"How can you accuse us of hiding something!" Botan raises her voice a bit, not letting go of me (Yeah!); "It's bad enough that everyone had to find out and embarrass us like this. We don't need you to come along and bother us too!" Whoa! Botan, if I were you right now, I'd run. Hiei looks pretty ticked.
"I'm sorry, Botan. But I find it hard to believe that you would find something in the detective!"
"Well, Hiei, maybe Yusuke is attractive because he's open about his feelings for people, unlike someone else we know!" 'Spirit World Times; Obituaries: Botan, a bouncy Guide to Spirit World with blue hair who flew around on an oar in a pink kimono. Killed by a jealous demon with three eyes and a katana shoved up his ass.'
"Shut up, you wench. You wouldn't touch the detective with a ten foot oar!" Well, how nice of you, Hiei! I'm glad that you find all of your buddies so revolting!
"You think so, do you?" Uh oh, shouting match coming to it's impending climax…
"I know so!" Ok, Yusuke. Prepare yourself; if you looked shocked about what's going to happen, Hiei's going to know for sure.
As Botan would say, bingo! But man, what's she trying to do, choke me? I mean, I know she's pissed and all, and just doing this for my sake (Double score!), but seriously! Revenge, little lady. I place a 'role-playing' hand on her butt again, but she retaliates by biting my tongue.
"Ugh, that's enough. Disgusting."
"Well, maybe you should shut up and believe us!" I shoot back, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. I get a glimpse of Kuwabara and Kurama as I watch Hiei walk back outside. Kuwabara's jaw is gaped wide open, and Kurama is slowly coming out of cringe.
"That's so not fair!" my love-starved friend exhales in a single stifled breath.
"Hehe, well, ya know. Urameshi is the man," I tease back, checking a thumb in my own direction. Kurama breathes a sigh of relief. That reminds me…
"Wow Botan. You just indirectly kissed Kurama!" I spin around to laugh at her, but she punches me square in the nose. Damn, woman!
"You owe me, mister." Oooh, pulling out the 'mister' and everything!
"I was unable to forage anything edible," Kurama announces, "It's really a shame. There must have been some sort of accident, or some other event that caused most of the wildlife around here to be highly toxic. Eating the simplest leaf could send one to the bathroom for hours."
"Well that's great," Kuwabara remarks. You said it, bud. My stomach grumbles loudly in agreement, and then it hits me.
"I know, let's go to town and steal something!"
"Yusuke!" Botan points a scolding finger at me. What? It's not like it's our world, or like the people who run it are even good people.
"That is our only option at this moment," my boyfriend agrees. Boyfriend? That sounds weird the first time. Lover? Nah, we got off that speeding train. Demon ally? That's too Hiei. Friend. Yes. Hot red-haired friend.
"Ya comin'?" Kuwabara asks me. I guess while I was thinking those jerks decided to leave the room. I reply that I am, and we all head to town, after putting on our freaky gifts.
"This one feels bad, guys," Kuwabara says. We've stopped in front of our third grocery store, and he's said the same thing about the first two. He shakes his head and continues, "We shouldn't go in this one either." His stomach rumbles in tune with mine.
"Oh shut up already! You guys stand across the street, I'll be right out!" I declare. Leave it to good old Urameshi! The glass doors of the store slide open for me, and I casually walk into the unsuspecting store.
Hmm… The old lady still had some stuff left in the place, like salt. Salt doesn't go bad right? No, it's a rock, isn't it. Okay, a bag of rice. Rice always puffs up to three times it's size, so a small bag should do. I wonder if they have a frozen food section. That's gonna be fun to try and hide. Shivering and all…
"Hey, you!" Uh oh. Run for it!
I bolt away from the old man in the apron with a nametag attached to it (probably owns the place) and run smack into a tall burly guy.
"Drop it!" he demands, taking the bag out of my coat anyway. He tosses the rice to the old man, who catches it, and growls, "First you little punk, I'm gonna take you to the Neo-Police in Sector B4, and when they're done with ya, I'm gonna pulverize ya myself." Shit. Evasive maneuvers!
"No way!" I yell, punching the guy but stopping short to give him a taste of my spirit energy. I run out of the store and motion for the others to run down the street with me. No one from the store follows me out. We turn a corner and slow our pace.
"No luck, Detective?" Hiei asks. He probably wants to taunt me about it.
"No, and we probably shouldn't go back there again. Had to hit someone to escape."
"Hn. Going to let everyone and your girlfriend starve because you couldn't make off with a bag of rice." There we go. He must've been watching through the windows.
"Told ya I had a bad feeling," the tallest of us says matter-of-factly.
"There's another one over there, across the street," Kurama points with his vision. Kuwabara sighs and claims that he isn't going to even bother warning us anymore, because our stomachs just grumbled together again.
"Well, Kurama is a master thief, isn't he?" Botan stupidly questions, "So maybe he should try this time?"
"Alright. I'll bring back some food for everyone. Stay here." I stare at his form as he casually walks across the street and into the store. So tempting, the way his hair flows in harmony with his gray trench coat. It fits him perfectly, highlighting his broad shoulders and his trim waist.
"What's so interesting, Detective?" Is my staring that obvious? Damn, well maybe if Hiei wasn't so overly obsessed with foxy boy, I mean fox boy, it wouldn't be such a damn problem.
"Oh, nothing. I was just thinking about how much I wish you guys would have gone into the store with him so that I could mack with Botan for a while," I retort.
"I'LL GET YOU!" a deep throaty voice shouts from across the street. Kurama's dashing at us, motioning for us to run away, his face locked in an expression of terror. King of thieves?
"DON'T YOU EVER THINK OF COMING BACK IN HERE AGAIN, SHUICHI MINAMINO! I'LL SEND THE AUTHORITIES RIGHT TO YOUR HOUSE! YOU'LL BE IN JAIL FOR A LONG TIME, PUNK!"
"Go!" Kurama commands us. We dart down the street and turn about three corners before we stop so that Kuwabara and Botan can take a breath.
"That was rather amusing, Kurama." Hiei smirks and stares down the street.
"It appears that my alternate self is quite the delinquent," Kurama notes, "I barely stepped over the threshold before that old man chased me out."
"At least he's in more tune with his demon side," the other demon scathes. Ouch, Hiei!
"Well, since you're so ruthless and speedy, my friend," Kurama jabs back, "Perhaps you should try the next store."
"I don't need food."
"Oh, don't be so silly, Hiei," Kurama teases with an absolutely amazing and devilish grin, "I discovered how toxic that bamboo was after watching you get violently ill from eating it."
"Tch," Hiei replies with narrowed eyes.
"Are you two married?" Kuwabara asks, pointing to both of them.
"Fantasize on your own time, Kuwaba.."
"Oh, my wife always gets mad when I tease him in public." Kurama playfully tries to pat Hiei on his head, but his hand is quickly (And painfully, I heard that bone on bone action. Eerm, right.) smacked aside.
"Shut up, Kurama!" he snarls, "I'll go get you idiots your food." He spins on his heel to walk to the store, but turns back and growls at the red-head, "The thought of being married to you is revolting. If we were married, I would be the man, and you would be the wife. Not only does that disgusting human head of hair suit the role, your rose-flaunting and inability to provide just add to that fact." Holy mother-of-all burns ever. We all stand there in silence and watch Hiei step into the store.
Well, he's been in there for two minutes. He's already doing better than us. I look over at Kurama, and he has his shoulders slumped and is staring at the white cement of the sidewalk.
"You okay Kurama?" After asking, I try and take his hand but he flicks it away. Maybe he didn't realize that I was going to hold his hand?
"I think that I may have taken it a bit too far," he sighs despondently.
"Don't worry about that pipsqueak, he's just being a jerk because he's hungry or somethin'" Kuwabara assures him.
"Yes, and I think that your hair is beautiful!" Botan pats him on the back after paying him the compliment, but he doesn't move.
I reach for his hand again, but this time he jerks it away and utters, "Don't." Does Kurama actually have feelings for Hiei? No, that outburst was pretty much how it's been between them recently.
"Hey look! It's that nerd Urameshi!" Say what?
We look in the direction of the voices and there are four people in blue coats, which actually look a lot like the uniforms of my school. Kuwabara mumbles something about them looking exactly like his friends back home, and he's right. The weird thing? There's a tall chick with curly orange hair, which is pulled back in a low ponytail.
I mean, if anyone's ever wondered what Kazuma Kuwabara would look like with tits, they should see what I'm seeing.
"So, Urameshi, did ya finish that homework I gave you?" the girl says (maybe I'll call her Evil Kuwa), poking me in the chest. Her voice is exactly like Shizuru's, Kuwabara's sister.
"Where's the glasses, Urameshi? Trying to impress your two girlfriend's?" That was the fat one.
"What the hell are you guys talkin' about?" I yell back at them.
"Oh, the little boy's gotta big mouth today. Must be trying to show off," Evil Kuwa grins stupidly, just like Kuwabara would right before I kicked his ass, "Teach 'im a lesson in manners, boys." The three other guys crack their knuckles and pound their fists into their palms.
"Uh, guys, you might not wanna do that…" Kuwabara tries to warn his alternate self. Can't blame the guy for looking out for himself.
In thirty seconds I lay the guys flat out on the cement. Evil Kuwa grunts and says, "What the hell, Yusuke?"
"Listen bitch, I'm not Yusuke, and I've never seen you or your boys before, so take a hike." Whew. That should hopefully save me, or him, or whatever. The kids a bookworm, who woulda thought?
"Fine, whatever," Evil Kuwa replies. She motions for 'her boys' to get up off the ground and walks away. She's replaced by Hiei, who is carrying two paper bags in each arm and a plastic bag in each hand. Can hardly see him behind the stuff poking out from the top of the brown bags.
Eer…bags?
"They don't normally give shopping bags to people who steal," I say, reaching for a plastic bag that is barely dangling on his fingertips.
"I didn't steal the food, I stole the wallet that bought the food," Hiei informs us, "An ingenious plan. It's easier to pick a pocket than to stuff all of this under my clothes." Why didn't I think of that?
"Wow, looks like ya really know how to shop, Hiei," Kuwabara remarks as he rummages through one of the bags. Probably annoyed by having the tall guy lurch over him, he shoves the bag into his arms.
"Well, we should head back now," Botan suggests, taking the second plastic bag from the demon, "Thanks a lot Hiei!"
"Yes, thanks Hiei." After thanking him, the previously upset fox tries to copy everyone else and reaches to take the remaining bag from Hiei's arms.
"Tch. Can't let my wife carry the burden." Denied! Kurama looks really pissed now. He snatches the bag from 'my girlfriend' and says nothing.
After several minutes of graveyard silence; no, graveyards are more lively than this; we turn down the final road we'll be on before our turn off for Genkai's place. It's desolate and lined with abandoned buildings. So of course, who do we run into?
Our little triad of new friends.
"Good afternoon, Yusuke," Arumaku greets us. His arm is slung possessively around Alpheratz's waist. Behind them, Mairaku is standing with his arms crossed, looking rather disinterested in the whole encounter.
"What do you jerks want?" Kuwabara asks.
"Nothing. Just walking home. Is that a crime?" the blonde retorts.
"Don't we have time for a little skirmish?" Alpheratz murmurs to Arumaku. The blonde nuzzles the shy-guy and whispers something in his ear that causes his face to turn slightly pink.
"I have time to fight," Hiei announces, setting the groceries on the ground. He stuffs his hands in his pockets and steps forward. He always seems to think that he can take on the world by himself.
"Oh look, Mairaku!" Arumaku taunts, "The pint-sized punk wants to play. Maybe you should take him."
"Yes, as they say in their world, 'Pick on somebody your own size'." Seems like that albino isn't so shy when his demented lovebird is around.
"Hey, stop right there!" What's with all the mystery voices lately?
"He's all yours, Mairaku!" Arumaku says, slipping off with his boyfriend. The mystery voice belongs to one of two police officers, which begin chasing them down the street.
"Being intimate with someone of the same gender is an arrestable offense! You two slow down this instant, and stop holding hands! That's another fine!" The officers and our enemies, except for Mairaku, turn the corner.
"Are you ready to fight, or what? We don't have all day." Wow, Hiei's sure impatient. He just needs to vent, so if that means taking out a bad guy or two, then that's fine by me.
After watching Hiei draw his sword, Mairaku uncrosses his arms and puts his own hands in his pockets, and states, "I don't want to fight you, Hiei." There is a few moments of silence, almost like they are having some sort of telepathic conversation. Damn freaks. It's like having foreign friends who insist on speaking their own language right in front of you. Not that I've been there personally, but I've seen it on TV.
"Hn. Fine, let's go." That's it? Fine? Let's go? Okay. I'm hungry anyway. Though I wonder what they said.
I hope Hiei doesn't try to book on us.
Everyone disappeared when announced that CYOA and YouxBlank stories were not permitted! I'm quite bummed! So thanks to Umi no Oni for his review.
I'm holding of on Chapter 5 until I get a greater feedback. It's an inspiration thing =)
-Zelia Theb
