Disclaimer: Well, seeming as you all know what a disclaimer is, I've decided to shake things up a bit, by reciting some Shakespeare! ^_^

(Ahem) "All the worlds a stage, and all the men a women merely players. They have their Exits, and they have their entrances, and one man, in his lifetime plays many parts." -William Shakespeare

^_^ That has absolutely nothing to do with this interview...O_O Speaking of Interviews, lets get on with this one!

Hyper Guyver: Hello again, and welcome to the Hyper Guyver interviews. ^_^ YAY! With us today is... (stares at cue card)... No.. No.. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.. (starts weeping)... It's... It's... IT'S ARTANIS! (Cries like a little girl)

Artanis: BOOYAH! BABY!! WAZZUP!!!

Hyper Guyver: O_O Oh. God. No...

Artanis: Hey Hyper Guyver! How's it hanging!

Hyper Guyver: Uh, it's 'Hanging' nicely thank you very much.

Artanis: Dat cool.

Hyper Guyver: Uh, Artanis?

Artanis: Word.

Hyper Guyver: Um, are you feeling okay?

Artanis: Wha? You kidding? I ain't never been betta!

Hyper Guyver: There's something different about you... Something ominous..

Artanis: Say Wha? Hey can we get on with this interview already? I gotta be chill'in with my home boys later.. Uh, as soon as I get me some home boys...

Hyper Guyver: HOLY CRAP! You're acting ghetto!

Artanis: Straight up!

Hyper Guyver: (cries into his hands) Why God? Why must I always get the freaks?

Artanis: Cuz, yous a fanfic writer.

Hyper Guyver: Oh yeah...

Artanis: So waz the first question?

Hyper Guyver: Huh? Oh yeah... Uh... So... How did you feel about your role in Star Craft brood war?

Artanis: Is tight.

Hyper Guyver: Huh?

Artanis: Is sick.

Hyper Guyver: what?

Artanis: It was Sweet.

Hyper Guyver: Say wha?

Artanis: -_- It. Was. Good.

Hyper Guyver: ^_^ Okay then. What did you think of it?

Artanis: I dunno.. I was sorta tripp'in seeing as how it was such a small role an o'l...

Hyper Guyver: So you kept tripping on the set?

Artanis: What? No! I'm meant I was upset with how small the role was.

Hyper Guyver: Well why didn't you just say so?

Artanis: I did say so foo!

Hyper Guyver: Hey, you just sounded like Mr. T a second ago.

Artanis: O_O Wha...

Hyper Guyver: So what's with the whole acting ghetto thing?

Artanis: Just getting back to my roots man...

Hyper Guyver: Uh, Artanis, I hate to break this to you, but you're not black... In fact you're not even human. You're a Protoss, with LITERALLY paper white skin.

Artanis: Oh right...

Hyper Guyver: I mean... If any REAL black guys saw you, you'd be getting a beat down right now-

(Duran burst into the room looking pissed)

Duran: Where's da fool who's runn'in around acting like he's all ghetto?!

Hyper Guyver: O_O (points at Artanis)

Artanis: Er.. Uh, hello Duran... Uh... How's it hangin' Dawg?

Duran: Oh you did not just talk to me like that!

Artanis: O_O Eep!

Hyper Guyver: Wait a minute! Duran, you're not really black!

Duran: _ SAY WHAT?!

Hyper Guyver: Remember? You're some kind of strange alien thing.

Duran: O_O Oh yeah...

Artanis: (phew)

Duran: But I'm still blacker than this fool!

Artanis: Eep!

(Duran proceeds to lay the woop ass down on Artanis)

Hyper Guyver: (sigh) Just go to commercial...

**

Announcer: Hello folks! ^_^ Since our FDA approval on 'Zerg be Gone' was a bust... We'd now like to-

Hyper Guyver: (burst in) Oh God! Not another one of these!

Announcer: Huh?

Hyper Guyver: Okay, lets get one thing clear.. Zerg be Gone is crap! This stuff sucks! I mean for Christ sakes! Did you just mix toxic waste and lemon together hoping for the best?!

Announcer: Hey! Who blabbed?!

Hyper Guyver: WHAT?!

Announcer: (Gulp) Er, I mean... Uh, whatever would uh, make you think that? Heh...

Hyper Guyver: (narrows eyes)

Announcer: Er.. Anywho.. We're here to show off our latest product... The SCUV!

Hyper Guyver: An SCV? What's so great about that?

Announcer: Not SCV, an SCUV! ^_^

Hyper Guyver: -_- What in the hell are you talking about?

Announcer: Well... people love SUVs.. And we really wanted to boost the popularity of SCVs.. So we just put the two together! ^_^

Hyper Guyver: Um, and what exactly was the end result?

Announcer: This! (Unveils SCUV)

Hyper Guyver: Good Lord! That is by far the ugliest concoction of metal I've ever seen!

Announcer: Er... Say what now?

Hyper Guyver: I've never seen something so badly designed! It's the stupidest thing I've ever seen!

Announcer: Hey now! Don't judge just by looks!

Hyper Guyver: (Sigh) your right... So what kind of mileage does it get?

Announcer: zero on highway, negative three in city.

Hyper Guyver: Uh, SCVs don't go on the highway.

Announcer:... Oh, heh, forgot about that..

Hyper Guyver: (muttering) Can you even get negative mileage?

Hyper Guyver: -_- So does it build faster?

Announcer: Well, actually no.. If anything it's slower.

Hyper Guyver: What?! Why?!

Announcer: Well, it has a lot of extra mass to move around you know... you know the saying... Bigger is better, right?

Hyper Guyver: (mumbles) Moron... So does it come with enhanced hydraulics so it can lift more?

Announcer: Why yes it does!

Hyper Guyver: ^_^

Announcer: It was needed to move the unit's extra mass.

Hyper Guyver: -_- Excuse me, can I make one quick phone call?

Announcer: uh, okay...

Hyper Guyver: (pulls out phone and dials number)... Hey, it's me. Yeah, I need three of them. Preferably? Large, hungry and ill-tempered. Thanks... -_- NO! I don't know where Raynor is! No I don't want to come over! Why don't you call Fenix! Jeeze... BYE!! (hangs up)

Announcer: Uh, who was that?

Hyper Guyver: Just an associate. (looking all innocent)

Announcer: So... Are you looking into buying one of these bad boys?

Hyper Guyver: (looks at his watch) Oh! Would you look at the time! I better be getting back to my show now... (Runs off) Have fun and play nice!

Announcer: Play nice? Huh?

Hyper Guyver: (still running away) I wasn't talking to you!

Announcer: O_o (turns around to face three hungry looking Hydralisks) uh oh...

Hyper Guyver: See ya in the digestive track buddy! (Laughs manically)

Hydralisks: Rwwaah..

Announcer: (gulp) So... Any of you gents i-interested in purchasing a-an SCUV?

Hydralisks: Rwah?

**

Hyper Guyver: Okay, now that were back and things have settled out...

Artanis: (Ouch...)

Duran: Well, I'll be back later if this fool gives you any more trouble.

Hyper Guyver: Straight up! (Gives props to Duran)

Duran: (props) Right, see ya!

Hyper Guyver: ^_^ Okay then. So... Artanis, how are you feeling?

Artanis: (groan) I think I landed on my keys...

Hyper Guyver: Aw-poor-baby. So, next question. Do you have any future plans for Star Craft?

Artanis: Er, yeah, I do. At first those blizzard B-atches weren't gonna let me be in the next game.

Hyper Guyver: Er, so what happened?

Artanis: Heh, heh, I showed dem foo's..

Hyper Guyver: You're sounding like Mr. T again.

Artanis: SHUT UP!! Anyways, I showed them...

Hyper Guyver: What'd you do?

Artanis: I camped out in front of their homes for three months.

Hyper Guyver: (Falls over) Uh, isn't that illegal?

Artanis:.. Uh, it COULD be... But anyways, I camped out in front of them fools houses, and they gave in after the fifth arrest.

Hyper Guyver: YOU GOT THEM ARRESTED?!!

Artanis: Uh, actually I got arrested... Heh, they thought I had sort of a street credit with all the times I've been in jail after they got me arrested for trespassing. So they came up with a sort of "Bad boy" role for me in the next game...

Hyper Guyver: So THAT explains the whole ghetto thing... Huh... what'da know...

Artanis: Straight up, and I'm digg'in it.

Hyper Guyver: "Digg'in it?"

Artanis: Too seventies?

Hyper Guyver: Oh yeah... You think you could stop now; it's kind of annoying.

Artanis: Well, I don't care! Acting ghetto makes me cool!!!!

Hyper Guyver: O_O Uh, I would say THAT...

Artanis: Well, I don't care! Nothing will make me stop acting ghetto!

Hyper Guyver: Really now? (Pulls out cell phone and dials.)

Hyper Guyver: Hello? Hey, it's me. Yeah, I need a favor, could you come right over? Yeah, it's important. Thanks! (Hangs up)

Artanis: Who's da?

Hyper Guyver: ^_^ Nobody.

Artanis: (gulp) You didn't call Duran again... did you?

Hyper Guyver: ^_^ Nope.

Artanis: (phew)

(Door bell rings)

Artanis: EEK!!

Hyper Guyver: O_o Jeese, it's just the door.

Artanis: hmph... I knew that!

Hyper Guyver: -_- (opens door)

Tassadar: Hey Hyper Guyver. You needed something?

Artanis: ERK!

Hyper Guyver: ^_^ Have a seat Tassadar.

Tassadar: Thanks, you said you need something? (Notices Artanis) AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

Artanis: (Erk!) H-hello (Ack) Tassadar... H-how are (ugh) you?

Tassadar: O_O Er, fine... (Turns to Hyper Guyver) What the hell, he's not clawing on me in his usual fanboy mode...

Hyper Guyver: He's trying to act all tough and ghetto.

Tassadar: So am I safe?

Hyper Guyver: Until he can't take the fanboy pressure anymore.

Tassadar: Hmmm... Interesting... So, Artanis, what have you been up to lately?

Artanis: (Ack) I'm been (Groan) doing... (UGH!) o..k..a..y...

Tassadar: @_@ Oh God, he's about ready to pop!

Hyper Guyver: ^_^ This is going to be so cool!!!

Artanis: Can't... Take... Much... More!

Tassadar: ... Hello.

Artanis: ACK!!!! (Load popping sound) OH MIGHTY TASSADAR!!!!!!!

Tassadar: O_O

Artanis: OH PLEASE OH GREAT TASSADAR!!! SIGN MY UNDERWEAR!!!!!! (Reaches into pants and rips out underwear with a loud ripping sound)

Hyper Guyver: @_@ That's gotta hurt...

Tassadar: Holy shit! I'm getting the hell out of here!!

Artanis: (in high pitch squeaky voice) Or sign my chest!!!! (Opens up shirt revealing an assortment of gold chains and other such jewelry)

Hyper Guyver: More stuff for the ghetto look?

Artanis: Heh, I bought it from the Mr. T collection, heh, got it on sale..

Hyper Guyver: -_-

Tassadar: Well, my work here is done... (Runs out the back door)

Artanis: OH GREAT TASSADAR!!!! COME BACK!!!! YOU HAVEN'T SIGNED MY UNDERWEAR YET!!!! (Chases after Tassadar)

Hyper Guyver: Um, well, I guess that's that folks, Heh, stay tune until next time when I interview the Cerebrate... Er, Zaas... Yeah, that's his (er, "It's" name...) Well, until next time, good day and good night.

Artanis: Please!!! Just sign them once!!!! (Running after Tassadar with pair of Chibi Zerg boxers)

Tassadar: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hyper Guyver: (sweat drop)