Disclaimer: Well, seeming as you all know what a disclaimer is, I've
decided to shake things up a bit, by reciting some Shakespeare! ^_^
(Ahem) "All the worlds a stage, and all the men a women merely players. They have their Exits, and they have their entrances, and one man, in his lifetime plays many parts." -William Shakespeare
^_^ That has absolutely nothing to do with this interview...O_O Speaking of Interviews, lets get on with this one!
Hyper Guyver: Hello again, and welcome to the Hyper Guyver interviews. ^_^ YAY! With us today is... (stares at cue card)... No.. No.. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.. (starts weeping)... It's... It's... IT'S ARTANIS! (Cries like a little girl)
Artanis: BOOYAH! BABY!! WAZZUP!!!
Hyper Guyver: O_O Oh. God. No...
Artanis: Hey Hyper Guyver! How's it hanging!
Hyper Guyver: Uh, it's 'Hanging' nicely thank you very much.
Artanis: Dat cool.
Hyper Guyver: Uh, Artanis?
Artanis: Word.
Hyper Guyver: Um, are you feeling okay?
Artanis: Wha? You kidding? I ain't never been betta!
Hyper Guyver: There's something different about you... Something ominous..
Artanis: Say Wha? Hey can we get on with this interview already? I gotta be chill'in with my home boys later.. Uh, as soon as I get me some home boys...
Hyper Guyver: HOLY CRAP! You're acting ghetto!
Artanis: Straight up!
Hyper Guyver: (cries into his hands) Why God? Why must I always get the freaks?
Artanis: Cuz, yous a fanfic writer.
Hyper Guyver: Oh yeah...
Artanis: So waz the first question?
Hyper Guyver: Huh? Oh yeah... Uh... So... How did you feel about your role in Star Craft brood war?
Artanis: Is tight.
Hyper Guyver: Huh?
Artanis: Is sick.
Hyper Guyver: what?
Artanis: It was Sweet.
Hyper Guyver: Say wha?
Artanis: -_- It. Was. Good.
Hyper Guyver: ^_^ Okay then. What did you think of it?
Artanis: I dunno.. I was sorta tripp'in seeing as how it was such a small role an o'l...
Hyper Guyver: So you kept tripping on the set?
Artanis: What? No! I'm meant I was upset with how small the role was.
Hyper Guyver: Well why didn't you just say so?
Artanis: I did say so foo!
Hyper Guyver: Hey, you just sounded like Mr. T a second ago.
Artanis: O_O Wha...
Hyper Guyver: So what's with the whole acting ghetto thing?
Artanis: Just getting back to my roots man...
Hyper Guyver: Uh, Artanis, I hate to break this to you, but you're not black... In fact you're not even human. You're a Protoss, with LITERALLY paper white skin.
Artanis: Oh right...
Hyper Guyver: I mean... If any REAL black guys saw you, you'd be getting a beat down right now-
(Duran burst into the room looking pissed)
Duran: Where's da fool who's runn'in around acting like he's all ghetto?!
Hyper Guyver: O_O (points at Artanis)
Artanis: Er.. Uh, hello Duran... Uh... How's it hangin' Dawg?
Duran: Oh you did not just talk to me like that!
Artanis: O_O Eep!
Hyper Guyver: Wait a minute! Duran, you're not really black!
Duran: _ SAY WHAT?!
Hyper Guyver: Remember? You're some kind of strange alien thing.
Duran: O_O Oh yeah...
Artanis: (phew)
Duran: But I'm still blacker than this fool!
Artanis: Eep!
(Duran proceeds to lay the woop ass down on Artanis)
Hyper Guyver: (sigh) Just go to commercial...
**
Announcer: Hello folks! ^_^ Since our FDA approval on 'Zerg be Gone' was a bust... We'd now like to-
Hyper Guyver: (burst in) Oh God! Not another one of these!
Announcer: Huh?
Hyper Guyver: Okay, lets get one thing clear.. Zerg be Gone is crap! This stuff sucks! I mean for Christ sakes! Did you just mix toxic waste and lemon together hoping for the best?!
Announcer: Hey! Who blabbed?!
Hyper Guyver: WHAT?!
Announcer: (Gulp) Er, I mean... Uh, whatever would uh, make you think that? Heh...
Hyper Guyver: (narrows eyes)
Announcer: Er.. Anywho.. We're here to show off our latest product... The SCUV!
Hyper Guyver: An SCV? What's so great about that?
Announcer: Not SCV, an SCUV! ^_^
Hyper Guyver: -_- What in the hell are you talking about?
Announcer: Well... people love SUVs.. And we really wanted to boost the popularity of SCVs.. So we just put the two together! ^_^
Hyper Guyver: Um, and what exactly was the end result?
Announcer: This! (Unveils SCUV)
Hyper Guyver: Good Lord! That is by far the ugliest concoction of metal I've ever seen!
Announcer: Er... Say what now?
Hyper Guyver: I've never seen something so badly designed! It's the stupidest thing I've ever seen!
Announcer: Hey now! Don't judge just by looks!
Hyper Guyver: (Sigh) your right... So what kind of mileage does it get?
Announcer: zero on highway, negative three in city.
Hyper Guyver: Uh, SCVs don't go on the highway.
Announcer:... Oh, heh, forgot about that..
Hyper Guyver: (muttering) Can you even get negative mileage?
Hyper Guyver: -_- So does it build faster?
Announcer: Well, actually no.. If anything it's slower.
Hyper Guyver: What?! Why?!
Announcer: Well, it has a lot of extra mass to move around you know... you know the saying... Bigger is better, right?
Hyper Guyver: (mumbles) Moron... So does it come with enhanced hydraulics so it can lift more?
Announcer: Why yes it does!
Hyper Guyver: ^_^
Announcer: It was needed to move the unit's extra mass.
Hyper Guyver: -_- Excuse me, can I make one quick phone call?
Announcer: uh, okay...
Hyper Guyver: (pulls out phone and dials number)... Hey, it's me. Yeah, I need three of them. Preferably? Large, hungry and ill-tempered. Thanks... -_- NO! I don't know where Raynor is! No I don't want to come over! Why don't you call Fenix! Jeeze... BYE!! (hangs up)
Announcer: Uh, who was that?
Hyper Guyver: Just an associate. (looking all innocent)
Announcer: So... Are you looking into buying one of these bad boys?
Hyper Guyver: (looks at his watch) Oh! Would you look at the time! I better be getting back to my show now... (Runs off) Have fun and play nice!
Announcer: Play nice? Huh?
Hyper Guyver: (still running away) I wasn't talking to you!
Announcer: O_o (turns around to face three hungry looking Hydralisks) uh oh...
Hyper Guyver: See ya in the digestive track buddy! (Laughs manically)
Hydralisks: Rwwaah..
Announcer: (gulp) So... Any of you gents i-interested in purchasing a-an SCUV?
Hydralisks: Rwah?
**
Hyper Guyver: Okay, now that were back and things have settled out...
Artanis: (Ouch...)
Duran: Well, I'll be back later if this fool gives you any more trouble.
Hyper Guyver: Straight up! (Gives props to Duran)
Duran: (props) Right, see ya!
Hyper Guyver: ^_^ Okay then. So... Artanis, how are you feeling?
Artanis: (groan) I think I landed on my keys...
Hyper Guyver: Aw-poor-baby. So, next question. Do you have any future plans for Star Craft?
Artanis: Er, yeah, I do. At first those blizzard B-atches weren't gonna let me be in the next game.
Hyper Guyver: Er, so what happened?
Artanis: Heh, heh, I showed dem foo's..
Hyper Guyver: You're sounding like Mr. T again.
Artanis: SHUT UP!! Anyways, I showed them...
Hyper Guyver: What'd you do?
Artanis: I camped out in front of their homes for three months.
Hyper Guyver: (Falls over) Uh, isn't that illegal?
Artanis:.. Uh, it COULD be... But anyways, I camped out in front of them fools houses, and they gave in after the fifth arrest.
Hyper Guyver: YOU GOT THEM ARRESTED?!!
Artanis: Uh, actually I got arrested... Heh, they thought I had sort of a street credit with all the times I've been in jail after they got me arrested for trespassing. So they came up with a sort of "Bad boy" role for me in the next game...
Hyper Guyver: So THAT explains the whole ghetto thing... Huh... what'da know...
Artanis: Straight up, and I'm digg'in it.
Hyper Guyver: "Digg'in it?"
Artanis: Too seventies?
Hyper Guyver: Oh yeah... You think you could stop now; it's kind of annoying.
Artanis: Well, I don't care! Acting ghetto makes me cool!!!!
Hyper Guyver: O_O Uh, I would say THAT...
Artanis: Well, I don't care! Nothing will make me stop acting ghetto!
Hyper Guyver: Really now? (Pulls out cell phone and dials.)
Hyper Guyver: Hello? Hey, it's me. Yeah, I need a favor, could you come right over? Yeah, it's important. Thanks! (Hangs up)
Artanis: Who's da?
Hyper Guyver: ^_^ Nobody.
Artanis: (gulp) You didn't call Duran again... did you?
Hyper Guyver: ^_^ Nope.
Artanis: (phew)
(Door bell rings)
Artanis: EEK!!
Hyper Guyver: O_o Jeese, it's just the door.
Artanis: hmph... I knew that!
Hyper Guyver: -_- (opens door)
Tassadar: Hey Hyper Guyver. You needed something?
Artanis: ERK!
Hyper Guyver: ^_^ Have a seat Tassadar.
Tassadar: Thanks, you said you need something? (Notices Artanis) AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
Artanis: (Erk!) H-hello (Ack) Tassadar... H-how are (ugh) you?
Tassadar: O_O Er, fine... (Turns to Hyper Guyver) What the hell, he's not clawing on me in his usual fanboy mode...
Hyper Guyver: He's trying to act all tough and ghetto.
Tassadar: So am I safe?
Hyper Guyver: Until he can't take the fanboy pressure anymore.
Tassadar: Hmmm... Interesting... So, Artanis, what have you been up to lately?
Artanis: (Ack) I'm been (Groan) doing... (UGH!) o..k..a..y...
Tassadar: @_@ Oh God, he's about ready to pop!
Hyper Guyver: ^_^ This is going to be so cool!!!
Artanis: Can't... Take... Much... More!
Tassadar: ... Hello.
Artanis: ACK!!!! (Load popping sound) OH MIGHTY TASSADAR!!!!!!!
Tassadar: O_O
Artanis: OH PLEASE OH GREAT TASSADAR!!! SIGN MY UNDERWEAR!!!!!! (Reaches into pants and rips out underwear with a loud ripping sound)
Hyper Guyver: @_@ That's gotta hurt...
Tassadar: Holy shit! I'm getting the hell out of here!!
Artanis: (in high pitch squeaky voice) Or sign my chest!!!! (Opens up shirt revealing an assortment of gold chains and other such jewelry)
Hyper Guyver: More stuff for the ghetto look?
Artanis: Heh, I bought it from the Mr. T collection, heh, got it on sale..
Hyper Guyver: -_-
Tassadar: Well, my work here is done... (Runs out the back door)
Artanis: OH GREAT TASSADAR!!!! COME BACK!!!! YOU HAVEN'T SIGNED MY UNDERWEAR YET!!!! (Chases after Tassadar)
Hyper Guyver: Um, well, I guess that's that folks, Heh, stay tune until next time when I interview the Cerebrate... Er, Zaas... Yeah, that's his (er, "It's" name...) Well, until next time, good day and good night.
Artanis: Please!!! Just sign them once!!!! (Running after Tassadar with pair of Chibi Zerg boxers)
Tassadar: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hyper Guyver: (sweat drop)
(Ahem) "All the worlds a stage, and all the men a women merely players. They have their Exits, and they have their entrances, and one man, in his lifetime plays many parts." -William Shakespeare
^_^ That has absolutely nothing to do with this interview...O_O Speaking of Interviews, lets get on with this one!
Hyper Guyver: Hello again, and welcome to the Hyper Guyver interviews. ^_^ YAY! With us today is... (stares at cue card)... No.. No.. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.. (starts weeping)... It's... It's... IT'S ARTANIS! (Cries like a little girl)
Artanis: BOOYAH! BABY!! WAZZUP!!!
Hyper Guyver: O_O Oh. God. No...
Artanis: Hey Hyper Guyver! How's it hanging!
Hyper Guyver: Uh, it's 'Hanging' nicely thank you very much.
Artanis: Dat cool.
Hyper Guyver: Uh, Artanis?
Artanis: Word.
Hyper Guyver: Um, are you feeling okay?
Artanis: Wha? You kidding? I ain't never been betta!
Hyper Guyver: There's something different about you... Something ominous..
Artanis: Say Wha? Hey can we get on with this interview already? I gotta be chill'in with my home boys later.. Uh, as soon as I get me some home boys...
Hyper Guyver: HOLY CRAP! You're acting ghetto!
Artanis: Straight up!
Hyper Guyver: (cries into his hands) Why God? Why must I always get the freaks?
Artanis: Cuz, yous a fanfic writer.
Hyper Guyver: Oh yeah...
Artanis: So waz the first question?
Hyper Guyver: Huh? Oh yeah... Uh... So... How did you feel about your role in Star Craft brood war?
Artanis: Is tight.
Hyper Guyver: Huh?
Artanis: Is sick.
Hyper Guyver: what?
Artanis: It was Sweet.
Hyper Guyver: Say wha?
Artanis: -_- It. Was. Good.
Hyper Guyver: ^_^ Okay then. What did you think of it?
Artanis: I dunno.. I was sorta tripp'in seeing as how it was such a small role an o'l...
Hyper Guyver: So you kept tripping on the set?
Artanis: What? No! I'm meant I was upset with how small the role was.
Hyper Guyver: Well why didn't you just say so?
Artanis: I did say so foo!
Hyper Guyver: Hey, you just sounded like Mr. T a second ago.
Artanis: O_O Wha...
Hyper Guyver: So what's with the whole acting ghetto thing?
Artanis: Just getting back to my roots man...
Hyper Guyver: Uh, Artanis, I hate to break this to you, but you're not black... In fact you're not even human. You're a Protoss, with LITERALLY paper white skin.
Artanis: Oh right...
Hyper Guyver: I mean... If any REAL black guys saw you, you'd be getting a beat down right now-
(Duran burst into the room looking pissed)
Duran: Where's da fool who's runn'in around acting like he's all ghetto?!
Hyper Guyver: O_O (points at Artanis)
Artanis: Er.. Uh, hello Duran... Uh... How's it hangin' Dawg?
Duran: Oh you did not just talk to me like that!
Artanis: O_O Eep!
Hyper Guyver: Wait a minute! Duran, you're not really black!
Duran: _ SAY WHAT?!
Hyper Guyver: Remember? You're some kind of strange alien thing.
Duran: O_O Oh yeah...
Artanis: (phew)
Duran: But I'm still blacker than this fool!
Artanis: Eep!
(Duran proceeds to lay the woop ass down on Artanis)
Hyper Guyver: (sigh) Just go to commercial...
**
Announcer: Hello folks! ^_^ Since our FDA approval on 'Zerg be Gone' was a bust... We'd now like to-
Hyper Guyver: (burst in) Oh God! Not another one of these!
Announcer: Huh?
Hyper Guyver: Okay, lets get one thing clear.. Zerg be Gone is crap! This stuff sucks! I mean for Christ sakes! Did you just mix toxic waste and lemon together hoping for the best?!
Announcer: Hey! Who blabbed?!
Hyper Guyver: WHAT?!
Announcer: (Gulp) Er, I mean... Uh, whatever would uh, make you think that? Heh...
Hyper Guyver: (narrows eyes)
Announcer: Er.. Anywho.. We're here to show off our latest product... The SCUV!
Hyper Guyver: An SCV? What's so great about that?
Announcer: Not SCV, an SCUV! ^_^
Hyper Guyver: -_- What in the hell are you talking about?
Announcer: Well... people love SUVs.. And we really wanted to boost the popularity of SCVs.. So we just put the two together! ^_^
Hyper Guyver: Um, and what exactly was the end result?
Announcer: This! (Unveils SCUV)
Hyper Guyver: Good Lord! That is by far the ugliest concoction of metal I've ever seen!
Announcer: Er... Say what now?
Hyper Guyver: I've never seen something so badly designed! It's the stupidest thing I've ever seen!
Announcer: Hey now! Don't judge just by looks!
Hyper Guyver: (Sigh) your right... So what kind of mileage does it get?
Announcer: zero on highway, negative three in city.
Hyper Guyver: Uh, SCVs don't go on the highway.
Announcer:... Oh, heh, forgot about that..
Hyper Guyver: (muttering) Can you even get negative mileage?
Hyper Guyver: -_- So does it build faster?
Announcer: Well, actually no.. If anything it's slower.
Hyper Guyver: What?! Why?!
Announcer: Well, it has a lot of extra mass to move around you know... you know the saying... Bigger is better, right?
Hyper Guyver: (mumbles) Moron... So does it come with enhanced hydraulics so it can lift more?
Announcer: Why yes it does!
Hyper Guyver: ^_^
Announcer: It was needed to move the unit's extra mass.
Hyper Guyver: -_- Excuse me, can I make one quick phone call?
Announcer: uh, okay...
Hyper Guyver: (pulls out phone and dials number)... Hey, it's me. Yeah, I need three of them. Preferably? Large, hungry and ill-tempered. Thanks... -_- NO! I don't know where Raynor is! No I don't want to come over! Why don't you call Fenix! Jeeze... BYE!! (hangs up)
Announcer: Uh, who was that?
Hyper Guyver: Just an associate. (looking all innocent)
Announcer: So... Are you looking into buying one of these bad boys?
Hyper Guyver: (looks at his watch) Oh! Would you look at the time! I better be getting back to my show now... (Runs off) Have fun and play nice!
Announcer: Play nice? Huh?
Hyper Guyver: (still running away) I wasn't talking to you!
Announcer: O_o (turns around to face three hungry looking Hydralisks) uh oh...
Hyper Guyver: See ya in the digestive track buddy! (Laughs manically)
Hydralisks: Rwwaah..
Announcer: (gulp) So... Any of you gents i-interested in purchasing a-an SCUV?
Hydralisks: Rwah?
**
Hyper Guyver: Okay, now that were back and things have settled out...
Artanis: (Ouch...)
Duran: Well, I'll be back later if this fool gives you any more trouble.
Hyper Guyver: Straight up! (Gives props to Duran)
Duran: (props) Right, see ya!
Hyper Guyver: ^_^ Okay then. So... Artanis, how are you feeling?
Artanis: (groan) I think I landed on my keys...
Hyper Guyver: Aw-poor-baby. So, next question. Do you have any future plans for Star Craft?
Artanis: Er, yeah, I do. At first those blizzard B-atches weren't gonna let me be in the next game.
Hyper Guyver: Er, so what happened?
Artanis: Heh, heh, I showed dem foo's..
Hyper Guyver: You're sounding like Mr. T again.
Artanis: SHUT UP!! Anyways, I showed them...
Hyper Guyver: What'd you do?
Artanis: I camped out in front of their homes for three months.
Hyper Guyver: (Falls over) Uh, isn't that illegal?
Artanis:.. Uh, it COULD be... But anyways, I camped out in front of them fools houses, and they gave in after the fifth arrest.
Hyper Guyver: YOU GOT THEM ARRESTED?!!
Artanis: Uh, actually I got arrested... Heh, they thought I had sort of a street credit with all the times I've been in jail after they got me arrested for trespassing. So they came up with a sort of "Bad boy" role for me in the next game...
Hyper Guyver: So THAT explains the whole ghetto thing... Huh... what'da know...
Artanis: Straight up, and I'm digg'in it.
Hyper Guyver: "Digg'in it?"
Artanis: Too seventies?
Hyper Guyver: Oh yeah... You think you could stop now; it's kind of annoying.
Artanis: Well, I don't care! Acting ghetto makes me cool!!!!
Hyper Guyver: O_O Uh, I would say THAT...
Artanis: Well, I don't care! Nothing will make me stop acting ghetto!
Hyper Guyver: Really now? (Pulls out cell phone and dials.)
Hyper Guyver: Hello? Hey, it's me. Yeah, I need a favor, could you come right over? Yeah, it's important. Thanks! (Hangs up)
Artanis: Who's da?
Hyper Guyver: ^_^ Nobody.
Artanis: (gulp) You didn't call Duran again... did you?
Hyper Guyver: ^_^ Nope.
Artanis: (phew)
(Door bell rings)
Artanis: EEK!!
Hyper Guyver: O_o Jeese, it's just the door.
Artanis: hmph... I knew that!
Hyper Guyver: -_- (opens door)
Tassadar: Hey Hyper Guyver. You needed something?
Artanis: ERK!
Hyper Guyver: ^_^ Have a seat Tassadar.
Tassadar: Thanks, you said you need something? (Notices Artanis) AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!
Artanis: (Erk!) H-hello (Ack) Tassadar... H-how are (ugh) you?
Tassadar: O_O Er, fine... (Turns to Hyper Guyver) What the hell, he's not clawing on me in his usual fanboy mode...
Hyper Guyver: He's trying to act all tough and ghetto.
Tassadar: So am I safe?
Hyper Guyver: Until he can't take the fanboy pressure anymore.
Tassadar: Hmmm... Interesting... So, Artanis, what have you been up to lately?
Artanis: (Ack) I'm been (Groan) doing... (UGH!) o..k..a..y...
Tassadar: @_@ Oh God, he's about ready to pop!
Hyper Guyver: ^_^ This is going to be so cool!!!
Artanis: Can't... Take... Much... More!
Tassadar: ... Hello.
Artanis: ACK!!!! (Load popping sound) OH MIGHTY TASSADAR!!!!!!!
Tassadar: O_O
Artanis: OH PLEASE OH GREAT TASSADAR!!! SIGN MY UNDERWEAR!!!!!! (Reaches into pants and rips out underwear with a loud ripping sound)
Hyper Guyver: @_@ That's gotta hurt...
Tassadar: Holy shit! I'm getting the hell out of here!!
Artanis: (in high pitch squeaky voice) Or sign my chest!!!! (Opens up shirt revealing an assortment of gold chains and other such jewelry)
Hyper Guyver: More stuff for the ghetto look?
Artanis: Heh, I bought it from the Mr. T collection, heh, got it on sale..
Hyper Guyver: -_-
Tassadar: Well, my work here is done... (Runs out the back door)
Artanis: OH GREAT TASSADAR!!!! COME BACK!!!! YOU HAVEN'T SIGNED MY UNDERWEAR YET!!!! (Chases after Tassadar)
Hyper Guyver: Um, well, I guess that's that folks, Heh, stay tune until next time when I interview the Cerebrate... Er, Zaas... Yeah, that's his (er, "It's" name...) Well, until next time, good day and good night.
Artanis: Please!!! Just sign them once!!!! (Running after Tassadar with pair of Chibi Zerg boxers)
Tassadar: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hyper Guyver: (sweat drop)
