Feliz Cumpleaños

Epilogue

The Pu'iwa Pa'ina

When they approached Sam's house, they found that the door was locked. Sam grabbed his keys and opened it. When the new couple entered, the whole place was pitch black. After stumbling around for a minute or so, the blond flicked the light switch on.

"SURPRISE!.!.!" A dozen voices screamed. Sam and Lars gasped.

"WHAT THE—!.?.!"

The whole room was decorated with balloons, streamers, confetti, and a banner that read, "Happy Birthday, Sammy!" in big, bold letters. One table at the end of the room had an ice cream cake with no less than sixteen candles on it. There were also chips, soda, and other snacks. Next to it was another table that had a tall stack of presents on it. Finally, all of Sam's friends were there, wearing coconut party hats (courtesy of Tito). Even the Lopez Brothers were there, ready to celebrate. Sam looked around completely baffled, mainly because he couldn't see everybody. Noticing his confusion, Lars told him who was there.

"Wh-wh-wh-what are you guys doing here?"

"We're here to wish ya a happy birthday, duh!" Otto shouted as Reggie and Paula walked up to Sam with his spare glasses and a clean shirt respectively. After discarding his old shirt and everything came into focus again, Sam turned to his mother.

"But what about this morning? I thought you completely forgot."

"Oh no. Of course I remembered, silly." Paula said with a chortle. "I just wanted to surprise you, so I set this whole thing up."

"But oatmeal?"

The blonde shrugged. "Only thing I could think of on such short notice."

"Oh." Sam blinked, turning to Noelani and Tito. "And what happened to Mas Drallud's tribute, the pu'iwa pa'ina?"

Tito chuckled. "We're having it right now, little cuz."

"Huh?"

"Well first of all, pu'iwa pa'ina is Hawaiian for surprise party."

"And Mas Drallud is Sam Dullard backwards." Noelani clarified, winking. "We didn't want you to know what we were planning after all."

Next up were his friends. "And you guys?"

"We were just pretending to turn on ya, Squid." Twister said as he and Otto walked up to Sam.

"You shoulda known we'd never really do that to ya." Otto added.

"Yeah! We care about ya too much, Sammy." Reggie supplied.

"And what about them?" Sam pointed at Izzy and Iggy. The former slapped the latter, who was trying to get a taste of the cake, upside the head. Noticing that everybody was looking at them, Izzy cleared his throat.

"That's simple." He started, crossed his arms. "Otto here came to me one day and offered to give me skating lessons in exchange for helping them keep this a surprise. After all, you know how big a mouth Iggy has."

"Hey!" The boy in question protested.

Sam raised an eyebrow. "And you actually went along with it?"

"But of course!" Izzy scoffed. "I would never turn down the chance to beat you. Besides, a good rival always wishes his adversary a happy birthday, no matter how much they hate each other. It's the honorable thing to do."

The blond nodded. "Thanks."

"Yeah, yeah." The dark haired boy waved a dismissive hand. "You better not forget this when my birthday comes around or else."

"Yay! Happy birthday, Sammy-Sam!" Iggy cheered.

Sam gave them both a thumbs-up. He then breathed a sigh of relief as he turned to his friends.

"I'm so glad you guys didn't forget me after all. I thought I would've had to move out or something."

"Don't be ridiculous, Sammy. We'd never turn our backs on you." Reggie reassured.

"Yeah!" Twister agreed.

"But the next time we decide to throw ya a surprise party, we'll try to make it less painful." Otto said, rubbing the back of his head.

"Yeah. I don't think mom can afford to get me another pair of glasses and a new board." Sam chuckled.

"So can we eat already?" Ray asked. He was standing beside his wife and Tito.

"There's one thing that's still bothering me." Sam said, turning to the two Hawaiians. "If this whole 'Mas Drallud' thing was you hinting at the surprise party, what about the human sacrifice part? I mean, we already got the tributes and the golden haired god."

"I'll say." Lars spoke up, putting his arms around Sam's waist and kissing him on the cheek. Everybody in the room gasped and congratulated the new couple.

"Hey, that's right!" Izzy snickered, rubbing his hands mischievously. "So who are we gonna sacrifice? If I remember correctly, the victim's gotta be evil, mischievous, wicked, and have darkness in his heart. So who's it? I wanna see this!"

To his surprise, everybody looked at him. The brunet blinked and looked around himself nervously.

"Wh-wh-why are ya looking at me like th-th-that…?"

"Hmmmmm… Evil…" Otto started, holding his chin.

"Mischievous…" Reggie added, grinning evilly.

"Wicked…" Twister supplied, rubbing his hands.

"And lots of darkness in his heart!" Iggy exclaimed. The rest of the party goers smirked at the elder Lopez Brother. Izzy's eyes widened as he backed up.

"N-n-n-n-now hold on! Y-y-y-y-you're not seriously thinking…?"

"I'll handle this." Lars said, releasing Sam. He grabbed some ropes from Tito and advanced towards his target.

Izzy gulped. "Wh-wh-what are you doing with that r-r-r-rope?.?.?"

"Whaddya think!.? Bonsai!"

Lars lunged at him, causing a dust cloud to form. Izzy was heard screaming as the sounds of combat were heard. The older brunet's cruel laughter was also heard from within the cloud. A few times, Izzy tried to escape, but Lars pulled him right back in. Soon, it dissipated, revealing the two. The brunet in the blue bucket hat was lying on the floor, groaning in defeat. Bruises and lumps were visible. His eyes, both of which were black, were spinning in pure dizziness. His wrists and ankles were tied together.

"One human sacrifice ready to go!" Lars told the rest of the group. Izzy blinked as his eyes widened.

"WHAT!.?.! You can't do this!" He yelled, struggling. His bonds were tied tightly however.

"Chill cuz." Tito walked over and bent towards him. "We're not really gonna kill ya." He whispered.

"Oh… Whew…" The teen breathed a sigh of relief.

"Instead, we're gonna beat ya like a piñata!" Lars shouted, pulling out a piece of white cloth.

"WHA—MMPH!.!.!" The older brunet had put the gag on Izzy's mouth preventing him from talking. He then stood back and snapped his fingers. Otto, Twister, and Reggie ran over and picked up the sacrifice.

"Any last words, twerp?" Lars asked walking up and pulling off the gag.

"Yeah, I got a few." Izzy answered. "What'd I do this time!.? I actually helped for once!"

Lars sneered at him. "Heh, ya harmed my boyfriend and that's a huge no-no." He turned to Otto and the others. "Take him away."

"BUH!.?.!" The boy yelped as he was carried off. "Wait! I helped out with this whole thing! Don't bash me! Iggy help!"

"Ok!" Iggy complied. He went over to the nearby closet and grabbed some sticks. "Wait for me guys!" He ran after them. Izzy gave him an exasperated look.

"I so shoulda known…" He then looked at Sam. "Blondie! You know I didn't mean it, right? RIGHT!.?.!"

Sam held his chin. "I don't know… Those insults seemed pretty real to me…"

"Aw come on! Don't ya know acting when ya see it!.?" He pleaded as he was carried out the door and into the backyard. "Please!.?.! I helped out! I HELPED OUT!.!.!"

Lars walked up to Sam and put an arm around his shoulder. As the sound of wood hitting flesh and Izzy's pained yelps were heard, he kissed him on the lips.

"I know it ain't much, but I'll give ya a better present later on. Count on it."

Sam grinned. "Oh don't worry. I'm not in any hurry. I'm cool with what I got right here."

And to prove that, he gave Lars a passionate kiss he only too happily returned. When they finally parted, they grinned at each other before going out to the yard, where Izzy roared at Iggy, who hit him in a very sensitive place.

THE END

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Post-story Conversation

"Whew!" I wiped my sweaty forehead. "Writing this fic was so hard. I hope to never have someone request a story ever again…"

"Aw, but Daddy, ya did a good job!" Iggy encouraged. "And ya probably made someone very happy!"

"Heh, thanks." I patted him on the head. "But still, never again!"

"That fic was so fun to do! It stinks that Izzy beat Sammy-Sam, but at least he got his at the end! It was great to hit him with a stick!"

We both laughed greatly at the mention of that last scene.

°SLAM!°

We stopped and turned towards the doors, which were just kicked open by a severely pissed Izzy. He had the bruises and black eyes Lars gave him plus tons of lumps. Both cheeks were swollen and bandages were everywhere. He was seething and burning with extreme rage as he pulled out his mallet.

"I-I-Izzy…?" I said, quivering as Iggy and I backed up nervously.

"Lars HOGTIED me and hung me from a tree so that Blondie, his little friends, and YOU—" He pointed his weapon at Iggy. "—Could whack me like I was a freaking PINATA!.!.! You're both mine!"

He then pulled out a battlechip.

"Bamboo Lance battlechip in! Download!"

As he inserted the chip into his hammer, it glowed a bright green. He then raised it above his head, preparing to strike.

"Hey wait!" I protested. "I told ya to use that chip only if I lied and I didn't! I told ya you were gonna beat Sam, didn't I!.?.!"

"So what!.?.! You're still gonna pay for having Lars beat me up like that!"

He delivered a roar as he slammed his hammer into the ground. The green energy surrounding his mallet left it and sunk into the ground. Moments later, the entire studio shook and rumbled.

"Jump outta the way, Iggy!" I ordered. Iggy nodded and jumped backwards along with me.

Seconds later, a dozen really sharp stalks of bamboo burst out of the ground where we were originally standing. My younger fan character and I sighed with relief as the stalks retreated into the floor. I then glowered at Izzy.

"I knew you'd pull something, so I loaded my own battlechip before the story ended!" I snapped my fingers. "Activate trap!"

Instantly, several vines burst out of the ground and wrapped themselves around Izzy. They constricted and caused the brunet great pain. He threw his head back as he screamed in agony. Soon, the pain was too much, causing him to faint.

"Izzy, logging out." An electronic voice said as he disappeared.

"Talk about a close one…" I sighed.

"Let me guess." Iggy started. "Anti-wood?"

"Yep." I smirked. "When you're dealing with Izzy, it helps to have some preventive measures ready just in case." I faced the camera. "We'll see ya next time!"

"Bye!" Iggy shouted, waving.