The very next day, Hermione saw Neville sitting in a comfy chair in the common room. She remembered what she had seen the night before, and went over to ask him about it. As she got closer, she saw that he was doing his banking. She had to strike up a conversation with him!

"I do?" Hermione looked to the speaker where the author's voice was coming from. "Hey wait….there's no electricity allowed in Hogwarts! You have to leave! Yay! Hogwarts: A History-"

"Remember what happened the last time you started talking about Hogwarts: A History child?"

"Oh. Right. So….you're not leaving?"

"Not a chance."

"Oh, fine!"

So, Hermione reluctantly went over to talk to Neville.

"Hey there Neville!" she said, trying to sound cheerful.

"Oh….um….hi Hermione."

"How are you on this….fine day?"

"Um….er….not too bad I suppose. You?"

"Not too shabby! Not too shabby at all! So, what have you got there?"

"Oh, nothing….just some stuff I have to look after. My Granny's trying to teach me how to do my own banking so I don't have to live with her forever." He said slowly, as if he was making it up on the spot.

"Oh….how….interesting. I would love to hear all about it Neville!"

Without warning, all of the Hermione/Neville shippers ran in screaming:

"Is she insinuating something? YAY! We knew you two would fall in love! Even though we know you secretly were….hehe…."

Then, all of the Neville/Marie-Sue shippers ran in and yelled:

"No! Neville! You don't love her! You love Elizabthia Rolanda Crystal Crysanthenum Rowling….she's JK's secret half younger sister whom no one – not even JK knows about. Her hair is half ravenous coal and half vela-esque buttery blonde….she has one ocean-blue eye and one ocean-green eye, both with hints of violet in them….her lips are ruby red, and they match her constantly blushing cheeks….she has a long, slim nose that is the exact color of her pale, snow white skin…. Heck! Snow White is her mother! Also….she loves wearing red and purple, the colors of her lio personalit-"

"Hey! Get out of my fan fiction! Neville and Hermione are not in love! She's just trying to be nice, not creepy, swim fan-ish! And no, Neville has no intention of meeting Elizerabla Rowina Circle Cryssyness Rowling-"

"Elizabthia Rolanda Crystal Crysanthenum Rowling," the shippers interrupted the author.

"I don't care! Now get out of my fan fiction!"

They all left crying, the beautiful/perfect/lovely/caring/charming/feminine/amazing/phenomenal Elizabthia Rolanda Crystal Crysanthenum Rowling following behind them.

"Great! Now they wasted our chapter!" Hermione yelled. "And I was just about to get to play the cool detective role too!"

"Oh! So now you care! Fine! Then have fun! You be the hero!"

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"Neville left."

"He what!

"He's over there, following around Little Miss Perfect."

"But wait….aren't you Little Miss Perfect?" the author asked.

"Hey! That was SO mean!" Hermione yelled back.

"Ooops! I'm sorry! Can you please go get him-"

"Shut up!"

"Oh, come on-"

"Shut up!"

"Pretty please? Oh-"

"Shut up! Shut up! Sh-"

"SHUT UP!"

"Aw! It was my turn to win!"

"Haha!"

The author left to look for Neville as Hermione stayed where she was, pouting. She had almost won….almost. Oh well, that doesn't matter, because we'll just have Elizabthia Rolanda Crystal Crysanthenum Rowling come and sing for you all with her velvety, fantastic, operatic, poppy, jazzy, perfect voice!

"THE sun'll come out! Tomorrow! Bet your bottom dollar that tomorrow! There'll be sun! Just think – hey! Where did everybody go?"

Well….that concludes this chapter!

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