Disclaimer: I own nuthin'. Nuthin' I tell ya! grovels in front of paper effigy of Square Enix symbol

Alie: You own something. Your dignity. Now get up before you lose however little you have left. nudge

sob You don't understand me! No one does!
Loraine: Am I allowed to poke her with the sharp end of this? waves katana

Alie: shrug Why the hell not…the author's suffering critical depression and writer's block, kind of.

Loraine: Okay. Want to join me?

Alie: pulls out knife Do I ever!

As the author was repeatedly stabbed by her muse and one of her main characters, she got an Idea. And this Idea festered and grew into something more.

So we bring you the story…

Mako-Streak - You shall never be a leech as long as you keep on reviewing. evilgrin No, Raine doesn't mind you calling her that…

Loraine: But I mind you calling me that, my friend. waves katana dangerously close

(gulp) Um…well, yes, Darios is quite adorable, isn't he? All the blue mages seem a bit endearing… P Anyway, if your exams are here, Mako…are they? If they are, then good luck… if not, then my brain has gone crackers again, so ignore me…

In the present, now that we have all that "flashback" out of the way…

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"Are we there yet?" asked Etoile, stripping an innocent yellow bloom of its petals.

"No!" snarled Marche, all the time surreptitiously turning the map around and trying to figure out where the hell they were.

"Are we there yet?" enquired Katarina mock-solicitously.

"NO!" yelled the blond archer in irritation.

"Are we there yet?" Loraine teased.

"NO!" exploded Marche. "No, we are not there yet, and I would appreciate it if you would stop asking already!"

"Okay, okay! Chill, chief," Loraine said, raising her hands in a fake gesture of peace.

"I will, once you stop asking!" growled the human. "And don't call me 'chief'!"

"Yes, chief," said Loraine with a little annoying grin, hidden by the scarf. In response, Marche gave a roar of frustration, threw his hands up in the air and stalked off to find Montblanc.

"Ooh, Marche's kupo pissed," laughed Oskar.

"See if we care," snorted Etoile. "He deserves it."
"He does?" asked Darios.

"Oh, yes, Darios the thick, my dear lad, he does," said Katarina patiently, in the tone of voice reserved for the mentally deficit and/or unbalanced.
"And he deserves it kupo because…" Basil said, raising a little eyebrow.

"Simply because he is Marche," sighed Loraine, lacing her fingers behind her head. "That is reason enough, believe me." The three vieras sat down on a log by the side of the road and, heaving a sigh of relief, shrugged their packs off. Oskar followed suit and dropped onto the green-ish grass in front of them, staring up at the sky and remarking, "That cloud looks like Marche when he just kupo wakes up, kupo." Basil rolled his eyes, but slung his pack down and sat. A shadow fell over the five and a sheepish-looking Darios, just as the vieras delved into Etoile's pack to get food.

"Would you three be the reason Marche is running round screaming curses at Montblanc, saying that the map is royally screwed?" asked Ingg, quite calmly.

"Perhaps," said Katarina, not looking up from the arduous task at hand.

"He just bashed Montblanc over the head with his bow," added the ninja, looking back over her shoulder. Darios, at the mention of that, edged away from Etoile a bit, remembering the pub fight.

"Ooh! Fight! Fight!" Summoner and sniper alike leapt up and ran for the scene down the road. Loraine got up, a tad more sedately than the mad duo, brushed her front off and began to walk after them, pulling her pack out from behind the log.

"Basil, guard the packs," she said, grinning. The gunner rolled his eyes and sighed, leaning onto Kat's pack and making obscure motions at the pair down the road. The blue mage stared, bemused, at them.

"You stay here," admonished Ingg, taking the viera's arm.

"But I wanna go see them fight!" protested Loraine, tugging at the ninja's grip.

"You're staying," repeated the human. Grumbling slightly, Loraine sat back down, ungracefully as she could, and scowled at the ninja.

"Why?"

"Because Marche is getting beaten up, not vice versa, and it's no fun to watch," said Ingg evasively.

"Really, kupo?" asked Oskar sceptically.

"Okay, it was because I wanted to talk to you," sighed Ingg. "Lori, you know that assassin, who's wanted for murder, Killer Rayne? I was just thinking, she looked remarkably like you…" Her voice trailed off.

"You don't want Lori-kupo to be mistaken for her, kupo?" asked the intuitive moogle thief. Mutely, Ingg nodded.

"Oh," said Loraine blankly. "So what?"

"What do you kupo mean 'so what'?" demanded Oskar. "We don't want you to end up in jail, kupo!"

"No, I mean, what am I supposed to do about it?" snapped the assassin. "I can't help the way I look!"

"You could get a disguise," suggested Darios.

"What kind of disguise?" asked Loraine, glancing narrowly at the Blue Mage, who gulped.

------------

"I feel stupid," muttered Loraine as they crept into the outskirts of Baguba.

"Get used to it. Oh, and don't look so uncomfortable. It suits you," said Etoile, not very comfortingly.

"I still feel idiotic," repeated the viera.

"Shut up, would you?" sighed Katarina. "C'mon. It's not that bad."

"You're not the one in this," snarled Loraine, very waspishly.

"It's not too bad, kupo. Look, kupo calm down and stop whispering already! Kupopo!" sighed the thief. However, he reached up and gave her hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Thanks," she whispered, squeezing back.

"I'd like to book a campsite for ten, please?" a very beat-up Marche was saying in the meantime.

"Ssssorry," drawled the camp keeper, a very bored-looking bangaa Defender. "Only have a campssssite for five…but the inn is vacant," he added hastily, seeing the look on Marche's face.

"Put it this way, kupo!" said Montblanc, pulling himself up so he could see the bangaa over the counter. "Either you will give us a campsite for ten, or we will vacate one ourselves," he said menacingly, glaring evilly at the bangaa. The Defender gulped, but managed to muster the courage to say, "That'ssss coercion! I can call my sssssuperior!"

"You do that, and you'll have the wrath of Clan Nutsy on your hands," threatened Loraine, pushing to the front and forgetting her role as 'sweet, passive white mage'.

"Lori!" hissed Ingg, grabbing the viera's arm.

Too late. The Defender at the desk was staring, agape, at the white mage. Loraine blanched.

"Oh, coeurl crap," cursed Katarina.

"Killer Rayne! It'sss Killer Rayne! The assssasssin!" the bangaa yelled in terror.

"What? No-" gasped Loraine, as various clanners sprang up, surrounding her.

"Stop!" yelled Ingg, launching forward and knocking her way through the clanners, creating a swath of stunned warriors as she lashed out with her still-sheathed katanas, aiming to stun rather than injure. "She's not Killer Rayne! You're making a mistake!"

"But she matches the poster!" yelled a Black Mage, shoving the poster into the startled white mage's face. A fighter and a soldier came up and grabbed the viera's arms behind her.

"Get off!" yelled Loraine, pulling away. Surrounded by a sea of faces, some grim, some wary, she waved the Judge Staff around, feeling ridiculous.

"Killer Rayne's an assassin, you idiots!" shouted the ninja, pushing her way through until she was side by side with Loraine.

"She could have changed job classes any time she wanted!" came a voice from the crowd, followed by a muffled groan of pain. Soon, Etoile and Katarina had joined the duo in the middle. Oskar was to follow, a worried-looking Darios in tail, and before long, the whole Clan Nutsy was surrounding the viera, a shield from the ring of bounty hunters.

"You're making a mistake," Marche said, a hint of. "She's not Killer Rayne."

"Clan Nutsy?" asked a voice, and Marche breathed a sigh of relief as the throng began to back away a bit…then gulped as he saw Shara approaching.

"S-Shara," he stammered. "Where's Ritz?"

"Cursing your name and you to Exodus," said the sniper. "What's going on?"

"They're sheltering the wanted assassin," shouted an archer.

"Killer Rayne?" asked Shara. Marche and the other members of the clan shook their heads violently, while the throng nodded.

"Lori just looks a bit like her, that's all," protested Darios.

"A bit, kupo?" Basil muttered sceptically. The next second, he winced as five different people bashed him on the top of the head.

"Well, she's not Killer Rayne," said Shara, with that tone of such finality that everyone stopped dead.

"How do you know?" asked a fencer, after a long silence.

"This is Clan Nutsy," the sniper said forcefully. "You can forgive them a bit of eccentricity occasionally, but they wouldn't be doing anything highly illegal now, would they?" Such was the inflection she employed with those words that everyone finally quieted down and shuffled off, still shooting deadly glances at Loraine.

"You saved my hide, Shara," said Loraine, looking sheepish. "Thanks."

"Stay out of trouble!" emphasised the other viera. "And what are you doing in that ridiculous white mage costume?"

"Darios's idea," said Loraine, shooting a murderous glance at the blue mage, who cowered. "The robes are really annoying me."

"Let's get you changed into something more comfortable," suggested Marche.

"Yes!" agreed Katarina. "You look bloody ridiculous in that!"

"Finally, we admit, you look like an idiot," Etoile said, flashing a grin at the assassin-in-disguise, who looked as though she was about to explode.

"Kupo," was all the moogles said, nodding emphatically. Ingg sighed and put a hand to her forehead.

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"So, Shara, kupo, what's the kupo news?" asked Montblanc, over the table of the eatery they had chosen to inhabit that night.

"Not good," the green-clad viera said, shaking her head as she sipped her drink. "They escaped again."

"Where to?" demanded Loraine incredulously, now in the more comfortable clothing of an archer. Ingg had once more forbidden her from donning the assassin gear, just in case.

"Jagd Ahli," said Shara, trying to sound casual. However, the way she fiddled with her cutlery betrayed her feelings at this new development.

"They ran back to the jagds," sighed Ingg wearily. "They never learn. My brother should have known better."

"Ingg, I don't think your brother is among them," Shara said quietly. "The clan leader has really gone insane. We saw a blue mage and a hunter escape the camp in the middle of the night."

"What about Miserie?" demanded Loraine. She might have hated the clan, but her feelings for its members were undiminished. She still worried about that withdrawn, quiet red mage, just as she felt so deeply for Matias. Shara frowned.

"A red mage?" The sniper shook her head. Then she paused.

"Oh. Yes, her," she said, in a tone of voice that instilled dread in Loraine's heart.

"What?" demanded Katarina, leaning over. "Don't keep us in the dark, Shara!"

"She's gone," the other viera said emptily.
"What do you mean, gone?" asked Etoile.

"Just…gone. We don't know what happened to her. We just didn't see her any more," said Shara quietly.

"Oh," was all Loraine said, slumping back onto the hard wood of the bench she sat on. Oskar patted her on the back gently. She gave the moogle thief a weak smile and stared at the plate of food before her. The others saw her morose mood and decided to leave her alone.

"Well…" said Marche slowly. "What other news is there?"

"Nothing good," Shara said briefly. "We have to keep moving. I can rent chocobos for us,"

"Why didn't you kupo think of that before, kupo Marche?" asked Basil.

"Well…I don't personally like chocobo riding," muttered the blond archer. Indeed, he seemed a bit paler at the mention of the birds.

"Why?" asked Darios. In the middle of the conversation, Loraine muttered a hasty apology and got up. Oskar followed suit, silently, as she began to walk away.

"It's not that comfortable," mumbled Marche.

"Rubbish," snorted Katarina, shovelling chocobo and coeurl omelette into her mouth.

"I just don't…"

"You're scared of chocobos, aren't you, Marche?" shot back Etoile. The archer blanched.

"No! I'm not-" he began hastily, but Montblanc sniggered.

"You are, kupo, aren't you?"

"No I'm not!"

"Are kupo too!"

"Are not!"

"Are kupo too!"

"Are not!"

"Are kupo too-"

"Are kupo not – I mean, are not!"

"Are too, kupo!" laughed Basil.

"Are not! I am not, I repeat, not scared of chocobos!"

"Are kupo too-"

"Shut up or I'll dock your clan allowance!" threatened Marche, livid. That shut the moogles up for a little bit before Basil whispered, "Are too, kupo."

Ingg got up and sighed as a fight broke out between Marche and the moogles. Darios was pulled onto Marche's side by the clan leader, Etoile and Katarina teamed up as a mercenary force and Shara dragged them all outside.

It was only then that she realised Loraine and Oskar were missing.

"Sweet mother of Mateus," she hissed to herself, pushing her way to the exit. "Why does that viera always have to rebel!"

---------------

"Go away, Oskar," Loraine said emptily. The little moogle followed doggedly, tracing her steps and managing to keep pace somehow.

"No, kupo," he answered stubbornly. "I don't want you to feel alone, kupo."

"Ah, but Oskar, I am alone," she said bleakly, turning to face him. In the half-light, she looked like a shade, her face creased with pain.

"No, you're not, kupo. You make yourself alone, kupo, but you're really not." He walked towards her a little more and looked up. "What do you think, kupo?"

"What do you mean?" she asked, continuing her walk once more.

"About what happened to her, kupo. Miserie, kupo."

"I don't know what to think," she said bleakly. "But I know that Sotel has gone insane if he's sent away all his closest comrades."

"Kupo," Oskar chastised her. "They left of their own accord, kupo."

"Then why this sneaking away at night, and this mysterious disappearance?"

"He wouldn't let them go, kupo, maybe?" suggested Oskar.

"Likely," snorted Loraine. There was a rustle behind her. She turned, to see a dragoon, a paladin and an elementalist behind her, their faces grim. The dragoon was holding a crinkled poster in his hand. She looked at him.

"Rayne, we're taking you in," the paladin declared. She turned back, only to find her route of escape blocked by another trio of clanners.

"Not this again," she groaned. Her hand went to her katana. It wasn't there. Instead, there was the Marduk Bow slung across her back. Not her weapon of choice at all. "Oh, no. Oskar, go!" A judge appeared. The laws were no Summon, Berserk or Dmg2 Animal, none of which were in her favour, drawing a grimace to her face.

"I'm staying, kupo," said the moogle, drawing his Cinquedea. "After all, kupo, what are friends for?" She smiled at him from the corner of her mouth.

"Indeed," she said, and drew the bow. Ready, aim, fire. The elementalist sent a searing Fire Whip her way. She dodged with true assassin reflexes, shot the paladin just as he began a Holy Blade that would have finished her off and made for the roofs. Oskar, nimble, small and quick, slashed at the legs of an Illusionist and did a Dagger on the Dragoon, Disabling him.

"Duck, kupo!" she heard him yell, and did so as a Ninja Knife went flying over her head to stick into the Soldier in front of her. Scrambling up onto the ledge, she yelped as a bullet dug into her shoulder and tried to get further up. However, her arm seared with pain, and seemed to be going numb. Too late she realised it was a Stopshot. Her body froze stiff as the Stop seeped in; she was frozen on that ledge, unable to move.

"Lori-kupo!" she heard the moogle yell. She couldn't move. As he sprang up on the ledge beside her, a Shining Air hammered the little moogle and he stumbled, blinded. Oskar, she tried to say, but she was completely frozen. Why did they have to have a gunner? Why?

A Deluge splashed down on them, numbing her and, to her horror, sending the little thief plummeting down. Through an awning, into a crate, and a roll down the road ensured that Oskar was in no position to fight. As a hunter shot a Sonic Boom at her, jerking her dangerously close to the edge of the ledge, a Soldier pulled her up and KO'd her with a swift slash. Unconsciousness rolled in.

Bloody looks.

-------------

"Get down here!" yelled Ingg, her katanas flashing in the dull moonlight. The paladin and the elementalist on the roof looked to be in a moment of indecision before the paladin pulled the limp, trussed form of Loraine over his shoulder and began to walk off. She was about to spring up after them before she remembered the little moogle lying unconscious down the road. Sheathing the Silkmoon and the Masamune, she began, first to walk back, then to sprint as she saw a human bend over the little moogle's body.

"Don't you dare," she hissed, her voice sweetly sibilant as she tackled the would-be scavenger. She heard a grunt of pain as they rolled down the road and looked down, with a satisfied smile, at her victim. Her smugness melted away as the scavenger's features became more pronounced with the increasing moonlight, to be replaced by wonder and a little shock.

"Hello, brother," she said, choking slightly.