Standard disclaimers apply. Please don't sue me!
Warnings: I am now officially having trouble with this fic. I feel that I'm just rambling in order to get the important stuff out. I have the worst luck! I have all summer to do this fic and my unruly brain decided to go into a block. Good thing I was more than half-through with this chapter when I lost inspiration. Yippee. What's up in this chapter? Ran and Ken confess. Oops, was that a spoiler? Oh well… Oh, and I decided to just insert Omi in a couple (or more) chapters so we'll see what's happening in the yxo world. That ok? No, don't answer that.
At last, after the shortest chapter ever (I uploaded the beta'ed version btw), here comes the longest chapter ever… I hope. That's why I decided to cut it into two parts. Part two is coming up soon. My fingers hurt, and I feel my first ever migraine coming. (shuts herself off in her room)
My goal in life is to acquire a copy of the manga "Boys Next Door." Yes, I know its morbid story, and yes, I still want it.
I am now officially hooked into Naruto (specifically the sasunaru pairing). It started with doujinshis, then fics. Whee! New fandom! I like Sasuke 'cause he's angsty; I like Naruto 'cause he's angsty and he's the Kyuubi. (stares pointedly at her penname) Okay, enough with the dribble and on to the fic!
Scarlet Moon
By Ninetails
Love
is really like that
I'm devoured by
Love
it's really like that
Blissful
- translated chorus of "Masaya" by Bamboo
Chapter 7.a
Morning came, dark and ominous. The air was thick and damp, and no matter how Ken stood near the fire, he could not drive away the chill in his bones. Thoughts of the red cloak haunted him as he made his way to the shop.
Why would Grandmother make me another red cloak, knowing that the first helped to attract the wolf? He picked up his hammer and began to pound on a bar of lead, imagining that it was the wolf and not metal that he was striking. He has been at work for about an hour when a shadow darkened the door.
"I was wondering when you were going to show up again," Ken said as Ran sauntered into the shop and casually sat on a barrel, of all things.
The marquis smiled almost sheepishly, though his heart began to pound at the sight of him. Ken stood, sweaty and disheveled, with his hammer poised above a glowing sword. His long-sleeved shirt clung sensuously to every curve of his torso. There was no pretense with him, no cockiness. He was completely natural and completely unaware of how breathtaking he looked.
"You never knew about me," Ran said, wondering if he meant it as a joke or not; it had been a long time since he attempted at humor. He had wanted to see him, to reassure himself that he was real. So much of his life was dream and illusion, and Ken seemed the one solid thing he could hold on to. Yet the way he made him feel was anything but ordinary.
In his heart he had also feared that Ken's grandmother had told him everything she knew of him. From the way Ken had greeted him, though, and the way he was looking at him, it would seem that his secret was still safe.
"You know, my father told me that if you ever came back here again, I need to rush out and get him to avoid his further embarrassment form my unruly behavior," Ken said, invading his thoughts.
Thinking that his remark was only meant to gall him, he answered with a smirk, "I guess you'd better do that."
Ken shrugged. "No need, he's working here today."
A moment later, Ran heard a step behind him. "Is there anything I could do for you, stranger?" a voice rasped close behind him.
Ran dipped his head to Ken almost imperceptibly. Well played.
He turned, donning his best air of authority. "Good day, good sir."
"Father, may I present Lord Ran. Lord Ran, my father, owner of this shop."
"A pleasure to meet you," Ran deadpanned, trying to instill a note of diplomacy in his tone. His decorum professor would turn over in his grave, provided he was in one.
"We are happy to help you in any way we can, milord," the older blacksmith replied with a skeptical look and a respectful bow.
"I came by to once again thank your son for the satisfactory job he did replacing my horse's shoe."
"I'm glad milord approves."
Ran took in the other man's unusually blank face and sharp eyes and realized that the older blacksmith was apprehensive about his son's manners. How to set his mind at ease and get some time alone with his son? he wondered. The solution came to him and he smiled unconsciously, surprising Ken and causing a red flush to suffuse his face.
"I would like to engage his services once again. With winter all but upon us, I would like to have all my horses' hooves checked. I want to make sure they're in excellent condition before it snows. I'm afraid this will be the last opportunity I will have to check on several of them until spring."
"Of course, your lordship," the older blacksmith answered. "I always assumed you had your own blacksmith for such things."
"I do, but he is busy with so many other things at the moment that horseshoes seem to be rather low on his list of priorities. Since Ken did such a splendid job with Shadow, I thought he could take care of all of them."
"How many horses are there?" Ken asked.
Ran turned and smirked at him. "Around a hundred last time I counted."
Ken's eyes grew large and round, and Ran had to bite his tongue to keep the uncharacteristic laughter from escaping at his comical expression.
"Well, in that case," his father interjected suddenly, "he had better get started."
An hour later, Ken was riding beside Ran in a cart, all his tools in the back and Shadow walking along behind. "That was too clever of you," he noted once they were out of earshot of anyone in the village.
"I thought so," Ran confessed with the haughtiness only a noble could pull off.
"So, are there really a hundred horses in need of new shoes?" Ken asked with a somewhat disbelieving glint in his brown eyes.
Ran was instantly mesmerized, and it was a struggle to overcome the temptation of doing what he had dreamt about last night. "Yes, actually. I just hadn't thought of having you take care of them until your father surprised me."
Ken laughed, and he drank in the sound until he felt nearly giddy.
"He's never been happy with my brash attitude, especially with you. But recently, he has been distracted."
"What's changed?"
Ken seemed to sober, and he regretted asking. "My cousin, Kase, returned from the crusade. He was trained as a blacksmith."
"So he could help around in the shop."
"He could, but his heart isn't in it; he hasn't been the same."
"Jerusalem broke his spirit?"
"Something did," Ken answered softly.
"I am sorry." Ran was surprised. He meant it, with all his heart.
"Me too." After a moment, Ken glanced at him and asked, "Did you ever go to the war?"
For a moment, Ran was back in his nightmare, blood dripping down his blade. He shook his head fiercely to clear his brooding thoughts. "In a manner of speaking," he said softly.
Ken looked at him with curiosity dancing in his brown eyes, but he didn't push and for that Ran was grateful. He jerked the reins, and the pony pulling the cart slowed its canter almost imperceptibly. He wanted to savor the time they had alone before they reached the castle and Ken went to work.
"How have you been?" he asked, glancing sideways at the humming boy beside him.
Ken reached up and touched something around his neck. Ran looked closer and thrilled upon seeing him touch the necklace he gave him. "I assume you heard, else you would not have shown up so quickly," he answered.
His reply both puzzled and alarmed Ran. "After the Lorena incident, I have been away the past few days before the full moon. I am afraid I have heard nothing since."
Ken sat still, his mind going back to the time when he and his father heard about the fateful sinking of the ship that could have carried his brother. His heart ached for lost hope. All in the past now.
"The night before last a wolf killed Simon, the man I was fighting with that first day we met in the shop. I found his body in the woods and then a wolf attacked me."
Ran jerked, feeling agony like he'd never felt before, and pulled the pony to a halt. "Are you hurt?" he asked, panic overcoming his carefully built calm.
"I'm all right," Ken reassured him. "The wolf tore my sleeve and scratched my arm. Then he ran off."
I did that, and I couldn't even remember it! he thought, dismayed. The sleeve I found was his, and thank God I didn't harm him.
Ran balled his hands into fists in an effort to stop their shaking. "I could never live with myself if something ever happens to you," he whispered.
Ken sat staring at him, wondering why he was shaking so violently. "What's wrong?" he asked, almost dreading the answer. Ran's violet eyes were putting him at unease.
"Everything," Ran whispered. He turned, his amethyst eyes boring into his soul. "The last time we met, you said that only the ignorant believe in witches. I disagreed with you."
"I remember," Ken answered, heart beginning to pound.
The forest became still, devoid of any activity or sound. Even the trees seemed to draw in nearer to them, as if to hear the man's every word.
"I know that there are witches, because my family was cursed by one."
It was Ken's turn to start shaking. Something cold and hard like iron settled into the pit of his stomach, and he began to sweat in spite of the cold autumn wind whispering chilly words into his ears.
"During the first crusade, one of my ancestors killed a peasant farmer and his wife. Before she died, the woman put a curse on every male member of my family."
Ran stopped speaking and looked at him as though gauging his reaction. Ken didn't know how he wanted him to respond, or how he should respond, so he sat, quiet and waiting. Everything has an answer, if you wait long enough for the answer. His grandmother's voice echoed in his ears.
"I've never told anyone this," he whispered, and his words tugged at Ken's heart.
Ken reached out and touched his hand encouragingly, not knowing what else to do.
"I don't know how to say this," he continued, his deep voice filled with deeper anguish.
"You don't have to tell me anything you don't want to."
"Yes, yes I do."
He shook his head, and Ken watched the struggle in his eyes helplessly, his heart breaking for him.
Suddenly, Ran reached a hand inside his vest and pulled out a wadded-up piece of fabric. He handed it to Ken without a word. Puzzled, he took it. When he unfolded it, he recognized it as his sleeve.
"This is the sleeve the wolf took from me. How did you get it?"
"I was the wolf."
The silence was deafening, as if every woodland creature listened with bated breath. The wind swept icy tendrils up Ken's spine as its whispers drew horror from within him.
"What?"
"I am the wolf who attacked you."
Terror filled him in an instant, pushing away everything else. He is mad, completely insane! He wanted to leap from the cart and run back home, away from him. Father was right about Ran all along; he's dangerous and he could hurt me. Another, more horrible thought occurred to him. What if he is telling the truth?
Out loud he stammered, "How… how is that possible?"
"The curse placed on all the men in my family is that we turn into wolves for three nights surrounding the full moon as well as the two days between."
Ken continued to stare at the bit of sleeve in his fist. With his other hand, he rubbed his arm where he could still feel the scratch from the wolf's tooth.
"You?" he whispered brokenly.
"Yes," Ran answered, crystal tears streaming down his face. "Can you ever forgive me?"
And then it hit him, why his eyes looked so familiar. They were the eyes of the wolf that had attacked him the day before, the eyes of the wolf that had attacked him nine years before.
Fear and anger coursed through him, and his voice shook as he spoke. "Forgive you? For how much?"
In a flash Ken reached forward and ripped apart Ran's shirt before he could stop him. There, upon his pale chest, was a jagged white scar. His heart began to pound harder, and he thought for a moment he might faint. "How did you get that?" he hissed.
Ran shook his head. "I don't know. When I was young, I woke up after I had been a wolf, and I had been stabbed with something, I don't know what."
"I know what," Ken cried, snatching the dagger from his belt. "It was this – my brother's knife. He stabbed you to save my life."
"Your life?" Ran asked, sounding dazed.
"Yes, when you tried to kill me," Ken explained, yanking the legs of his trousers up above his knees to show him the scars crisscrossing his legs and the bits of flesh that had been torn out, never to fully heal.
Ran whimpered and reached to trace a long, jagged scar that ran the length of his tanned calf.
"I didn't know," he almost wailed in despair. "I am so sorry."
"For nine years I've carried these scars and fear has plagued my every step, and all because of you," Ken spat at the shuddering form.
Ran buried his head in his hands, and the cries that came from him sounded like those of an animal. Ken sat still, staring at him; hatred, anger, love, and pity running through him all at once. Everything but fear.
For once the fear was gone.
He didn't know how long they sat that way. He couldn't even begin to sort out his own emotions, let alone care about Ran's. For a month his world had been in chaos, and now, once again, everything had changed, but in a way for which he never could have prepared himself. The one thing he kept coming back to, though, was the absence of his fear.
"Every day since then I've lived with fear," he said finally. "Never knowing where the wolf was or when he might strike has haunted me. Now, strange as it is, I know where the wolf is and when he could strike. I feel free for the first time in nine years."
Ran laughed, a strange, strangled sound. "When I was young, I would wake up and never remember anything about what had happened – what I'd done. As I grew older I learned to remember, and then, by the time I was thirteen, I could control my actions while in wolf form. What scares me is that this morning I woke up with no memories, and apparently I did horrible things."
"Maybe you didn't kill the tanner," Ken said, voice shaking, wishing he believed it himself.
"If not I, then who?" Ran asked, his voice suddenly fierce. Ken jerked back, frightened.
"I – I don't know," Ken stammered. "Maybe another wolf – ."
"There are no other wolves," Ran snarled. "The last natural wolves left several years ago. A different pack controls these lands," he added bitterly, "though I'm more a lone wolf with my father gone too often to the Holy Land."
Ken didn't know what to do. He desperately wanted to ease the pain in his amethyst eyes and yet, to his shame, there was a part of him that cried out for his blood. It was this part of him that kept the dagger, its blade naked, in his hand.
He tried to swallow, but his mouth was dry. His heart had begun to pound again as a war raged within him. He stared down at the knife and his white-knuckled fingers gripping it. I could plunge this dagger into his heart before he could stop me. I could kill the wolf that took so much from me. Tears began to stream from his eyes. I could kill him before he tries to kill me again.
He didn't realize how hard he was shaking until Ran reached out and placed his hand on his, wrapping his fingers around so that he, too, was holding the knife.
"I wouldn't blame you if you did," he whispered, soft lips brushing Ken's ear. "I think part of me would thank you."
Ken sat stunned, staring at their fingers intertwined around the blade. Has fate brought us to this? he wondered. Is this what was meant to happen between us? Our lives have been entwined for years, though we did not know. He has been the shadow haunting my steps all along. As the noonday sun kills the shadow, am I the light to destroy his darkness?
He gripped the dagger even tighter, his nails digging into his palm until he could feel the blood begin to flow. Twice now I have been in the wolf's jaws and I have escaped. A third time will surely kill me. Should I risk it all? For what? This tortured man hasn't offered me anything in return but a kiss stolen in the forest. Grandmother was right – I should not have followed this man into the woods. His tears fell onto their clasped hands. But I did not follow him; he was the one who followed me.
Ken turned to look at him and found that he was crying as well. Ran kissed him then, tears mingling on their lips. He wrapped his arms around him, pulling his trembling figure close and trapping the dagger between their bodies. Ken could feel the edge cutting him, but he didn't care.
He kissed the taller man with everything he had, every drop of love and anger and pain, and he kissed him back in kind. It lasted for a long while, their almost mad joining of lips tempering down into a leisurely exploration of each other's mouths. Ken felt intoxicated with the man's taste, of fire and ice, ready to burn him and devour him whole. He slowly withdrew, keeping his lips pressed against Ken's, every word brushing against his lips and sending pleasurable tingles running up his spine.
"I need you," Ran whispered against his lips. "You are the light to my shadow, the sun to my moon, the innocence to my guilt. Without you, I am lost. If you will not stay with me, then use that knife, because I am already dead."
"I have died a little every day since we met, but now we shall both live… and learn what it is to love," Ken answered with a hot blush suffusing his very being.
He could feel the blade cutting deeper into his hand as Ran crushed him tighter, but it didn't matter. All that mattered was that Ran loved him and wanted him, and that his lips upon his were proving it more with each moment that passed between them.
"All my life I have looked for you," Ran whispered against his lips.
"And all my life I have run, certain that I would lose myself if you ever caught me."
"Are you lost?" Violet eyes sought for brown, a connection of souls was established in the deep look that followed.
"I am found," Ken answered with what was in his heart, his soul.
"What if I devour you?" Ran asked at last, pressing ever closer to his warmth.
Ken pulled back slightly and touched one of the other man's eyeteeth with his fingertip. "I hope that you do," he breathed as waves of passion threatened to overcome him.
Ran glanced down and noted with a frown, "You're bleeding."
Ken looked down as well, noticing detachedly the slice in his vest and the blood staining his clothes. He pulled his hand away from Ran's warm ones and let the knife clatter to the floor of the cart. He reached forward to touch his white shirt, which was also ripped. "You are as well."
"So I am," he answered, violet eyes intent on brown. "Our blood flows together, Ken. Even so, you and I are linked, our spirits entwined, our hearts beating in kind."
"Wherever you go, so shall I go."
Ran gripped his hands, which were covered in their blood, in his and kissed them.
"What do we do now?" Ken asked him then.
"I don't know. I do know, though, that I need your help taming the wolf."
"I'll do what I can," he vowed.
Ran kissed him again, lips upon lips, burning with hunger, demanding to be fed. In a moment, Ken knew he would be lost, and he would give him everything. He forced himself to break away, though it hurt him more than anything he had ever done.
"Ran, I can't – "
"I know," he gasped, trying hard to rein in his control "I am sorry."
"Don't be, for I am not, but we must venture no further along this particular path."
"Not until I make you truly mine."
Ken sat, stunned by the possessiveness evident in Ran's dulcet voice. Mine. What does he wish to do? We cannot marry, but to be his, I would give up everything. He gazed into his purple eyes with his heart shining in his eyes.
"What will people say?" he whispered at last.
"They'll say that I'm the luckiest creature that ever walked this earth, on two feet or four."
Ken laughed, tasting the salt on his lips as he did so. "Whatever shall I do with you?" he burst out, unable to contain his utter joy and bewilderment.
"You shall live with me, as soon as it can be arranged."
He nodded slowly. "We shall, of course, have to tell father about this."
Ran laughed, the sound sending sparks of joy into Ken's overridden senses. "Do you think that he shall deny me as a consort to his son?"
"Perhaps… maybe he should," Ken answered with a mischievous smile. Deep inside, he hoped that his father would understand the true feelings between them, and approve.
"Well, then I must strike fast before anyone can warn him. Perhaps while you are tending to the horses?"
Ken cuffed him lightly on the arm. "All your talk about living together and you'll still have me shoe your horses?"
"You and no other. When we are aged and stooped, I still want to see you, in those ridiculous shirts of yours, putting shoes on all our horses."
"And what is wrong with my shirts?" Ken demanded, shivering at the intense gaze Ran was giving the said clothing.
"They only serve to impede my view of your astonishing chest," Ran answered with a wicked grin.
He slammed his fist into his chest in mock fury, well aware of the blush tinting his features. Ran caught his hand and pulled it up around his neck. He felt his heart melt at the adorable sight that his now lover presented. His smile slowly faded. "I am sorry, Ken; my attempt at humor keeps me from doing to you what I most wish, and which would break your trust."
"I know," he said, the blood burning within his veins. "I feel the same way."
Ran picked up the reins and turned slowly in his seat. "In that case, we had best be on our way."
TBC
Author's Notes:
Whee! I read about a blacksmith at work (Perrin Aybara) in a Wheel of Time book. I wanted to put as much detail into the smithy work, but as of now, I am still ignorant (and I have this feeling that I'll stay that way for a long time) about their work so forgive me if all I wrote about was Ken's sweaty body… err, I mean, ah, why do I even bother?
What are eyeteeth? If some of you don't know, they're your regular canines, used (by wolves and humans alike) to tear food before the bicuspids and molars chew them thoroughly. Whee!
Has anyone noticed that I've been exceedingly mushy in this? I mean, Ran of all people, spouting drivel! Oh my! Of course, if it was to win a cutie like Ken, I'd spout the worst drivel in the world too, but I guess I was beaten to it. Nyahahahaha! Don't be deceived by this chapter though, for every happiness, there is an equal and opposite emotion. Eww, Physics.
I just got my classcards and I'm very surprised to find out that I got quite a high grade in Philosophy of Man. Someone pinch me now. No, I take that back! I'm quite (okay, I'm very) happy with my scores except for Phys Ed. It's volleyball. Give me badminton or baseball any day, but not volleyball. Oh, and we have a new Pope! Whee! He's 78 though. Oh well. I'm happy now. (n.n) Oh, and the song lyrics way on top are just there since I felt like it. Not the best translation (since "Masaya" is loosely translated as happy) and even though it looks like a very happy song, it's not. Quite angsty, in fact. I love it.
Replies to Reviews (Chapter 6):
HeatherR Ken… fetch… lover… Nyahahaha! That is TOO funny! Shows how Ran is totally in love with Ken, ne, when he consents to play fetch with him. (starts snickering again) 'Nyways, I somewhat heeded your advice (seeing the logic in it), but I think the intertwining of the plot will be seen in part two. Um, oops? Yeah, it's fun to have a few more characters, but I'm still frantically wracking my mind 'bout what to do with Youji (ugh, what is the true English spelling of his name?). Err, I'm quite embarrassed to say though that the reason why I write AU's is because I've forgotten the Weiss storyline already! The last time I watched it was circa 2000 so… Gomen, total tangent there, ne? Oh, hope you're not too horrified with the mush-fest of this chapter. Thanks for being the first reviewer of chapter 6! Here's a cookie!
Sachiko V Wow, you actually read my notes! I got a complaint from one of my reviewers in my other fic about the total length of my AN's so I'm quite relieved to know that someone appreciates my rants/ravings. … Eek, the boyfriend issue again! Thanks SO much for saying that; I haven't really met anyone who totally jives with my total unpredictability (plus it's hard to find a guy who could tolerate my love for yaoi), but the mere fact that most girls my age have bf's, well, it says something about me, ne? Eek, self-esteem issues, duck! Oh, the homosexuality bit will be dealt with in a few chapters' time. I hope I handled it acceptably. I swear, I'm going easy on them, it's totally unreal (you'll see what I mean in chapter 8). Aww, thanks for liking my fic SO much! I love AUs too. Ran is quite a hard character to portray and I'm glad you people approve of the way I write him. Kenken is MINE! Oops, I mean, Kenken is a cute character to write about, although I think he's a bit OOC here. Hmmm… Manx? She is a mystery, in the series and in my story. Wai! Thanks SO much for liking the YXO chappie! My friend coerced me to do it ('cause originally, Youji is supposed to never return or something) and I hope to insert them again somewhere. I love the interaction between the cousins too. Thanks for the long review! You know what? I think we review almost the same way! (not going into details) Here's a cookie, enjoy!
Ru-chan Aww… thanks! Wait… You liked it? … (starts to hyperventilate before spontaneously combusting) Wai! You really liked it? Thanks SO much! Nyahaha, 'tis ok, as long as you like my chapters. You're writing exams? (eek, I have a sneaking suspicion that you're a prof or something... 0.0 ) Wai! Ran is the cutest thing ever when he smirks! When he glares too! Gah, he's cute no matter what he does! But Ken is MINE! Err, gomen. Thanks so much for the review! Hope you like a cookie!
RosefaerietaleRed Nyahaha! Nothing gets by you, ne? I really can't write about Schwartz since I hardly saw them when I was watching the series. Omi is such a sweet cousin and I'll try to insert him more in the story. As for Youji, well, he still has amnesia. Not much progress… yet. Thanks SO much for the review and I am now giving you a cookie since I'm broke from the last blueberry cheesecake rampage. (n.n)
And now if you would excuse me, I'm off to feed my Neopet.
