Standard disclaimers apply. (2 lazy)
Warnings: I really am having trouble with this fic. Oh well. Oh, my beta said she was grinning her mouth off while reading this (the whole chapter, that is). Wonder why. Maybe it was all my references to "The Wheel of Time" series? (shrugs)
ADVANCED APOLOGY: GOMEN MINNA! I WON'T BE ABLE TO UPDATE FOR A WHILE. I JUST CAME BACK FROM A MEETING AND FOUND OUT THAT SK OFFICIALS OF OUR CITY (I'M OBVIOUSLY ONE) ARE REQUIRED TO ATTEND A 5-DAY SEMINAR IN A FARAWAY PLACE (BAGUIO). THAT'S IT. SEE Y'ALL NEXT WEEK! Oh, it's a full moon tonight. Nice! (starts to daydream)
Oh my gaaah! They're petitioning for the novel of "Only the Ring Finger Knows" to be distributed in America (henceforth I could finally appreciate it 'cause it'll be translated into English!) and I am SO happy! People (who can actually relate to my current rabidity), go to yaoi(dash)manga(dot)com and sign up NOW! They currently have around 2000 petitions and I'm not sure what their target number is but sign up anyway. Wai! (incoherent rambles) That manga is such a cute, angsty, romantic (and did I mention angsty?) tale but there are many scenes that are inconveniently cut so the novel would really help the fan(girls) to understand why Kazuki did what he did to Wataru. I am SO ecstatic right now 'cause they have loads of soon to be released yaoi manga titles! Wait… oh my poor (semi-nonexistent) savings! But I can't help it; I want them ALL! (bawls)
Oh, and I took the yaoi test there and I was the "Jane" yaoi girl! It's SO true that it's almost freaky! I'm a closet yaoi fanatic! Whee! Um, on to the fic.
Scarlet Moon
By Ninetails
Chapter 7.b
They rode the rest of the way in silence. Ken's mind raced almost as fast as his heart. It was madness to think that this could end happily, with him as lover to an earl. His thoughts foretold some grave danger ahead of them, even as his heart sang within his chest.
When the castle loomed ahead of them, he held his breath, a hundred emotions colliding inside him to further his consternation. His mouth gaped in wonder at the castle's sheer size. Within its shadow, stone walls loomed high above him, and he tilted his head back to gaze up at them. Around him, servants scurried to take charge of the wagon and the horses.
Ran lithely jumped down the wagon, and for a moment Ken stared at him, surrounded by his subjects and the trappings of his title. He quaked inside. Who am I to aspire this?
"Do you really have a hundred horses for me to look at?" he asked, nervously turning his focus to work.
"Probably more," Ran answered, gesturing for him to get down from the wagon seat.
He complied, getting down from the wagon with Ran's arms mysteriously around his waist. He suddenly felt self-conscious dressed in his work trousers and plain shirt as the eyes of all turned upon him.
With a small grin, Ran raised his hand, and everyone stopped and stared openly. "This is my guest, Ken. He is a blacksmith and will be here to look over the horses. Everyone please extend to him whatever help he requires."
Everyone bowed or curtsied as Ken felt his cheeks grow hot. "Ran," he murmured for his ears alone. "Was that necessary?"
"Entirely," he whispered back with a smirk.
Ken forced himself to smile at everyone, though inside he wanted to turn and run back to the village and his father's shop. I don't belong here.
A man his father's age bustled up to them. He bowed low to Ken, and he, again at a loss to how to present himself, only nodded in return. "I am Lan," he announced, "and I have the charge of the horses."
"Lan will help you with your work," Ran said. "He is a good man and has the best eye for horses I've ever seen. There isn't an animal here he doesn't know well."
"Good, then you can tell me which ones kick," Ken said, glad to be talking business.
Lan chuckled. "I'll do more than that; I'll hold them for you."
"I'll leave you two to your work. Make sure he finds his way to the Hall for supper, Lan," Ran instructed.
Lan bowed again and Ken just nodded his head again, feeling like an idiot. Ran turned and strode off, and he heaved a sigh of relief.
Amazing how a mutual declaration of love can cause so much excitement followed by so much awkwardness, he thought.
He pulled a heavy case from the back of the wagon and turned to Lan. "Lead the way," he said, falling into step beside him. "Lord Ran said something about a hundred horses."
Lan snorted. "One hundred forty-four," he answered.
Ken stared. "This is going to take a couple of days."
He nodded with a small smile. "Quite young for a blacksmith, eh?"
Ken nodded, wondering what age a blacksmith should be. "Yes. Someone had to help out when my brother left for the crusade."
Lan nodded once again. "Figured as much, though it's a shame such a handsome young fellow has to work in the dark and heat."
"I manage," Ken answered shortly.
"I meant it as a compliment, so that you don't mistake me," he said, glancing at the youth sideways. "I don't doubt your ability to do it."
"Thank you," Ken answered, pleasantly surprised. It was nice to have someone believe he could do the job without him having to prove it or without the prejudice of who he was related to.
"We'll start in the barn. We can get twenty done in there. After that we'll have to catch them."
Ken suppressed a groan. "A long few days," he muttered to himself.
Despite his misgivings, the first twenty were done quickly. Lan had enlisted the aid of several young boys to hold horses and to begin rounding up the ones that were out on the fields.
Ken was a bit startled, and none too embarrassed, to find a young lady minding some of the horses in the spacious stable. To add to his surprise, he found out that Yuriko was actually Lan's youngest daughter. She was friendly and very pretty, and they hit it off instantly with talk about the horses.
They had made a good start before it was time for supper. He would have continued to work, but true to his word, Lan saw to it that he made his way to the Great Hall. He said his polite good-byes to the people in the wide yard and to Yuriko, before he steeled himself for whatever was to come.
Ken walked in, sweaty and disheveled, and needed no more reason to feel completely out of place. When he realized that there were nobles other than Ran present, he thought about running. Fast. Possibly in the other direction.
Or fainting. Fainting would work. No one could fault me for fainting of exhaustion, he frantically thought as Ran came toward him.
"Glad you could join us," he whispered for his ears only.
"Ran, I shouldn't be here," he hissed.
The taller man looked him up and down slowly, and Ken flushed at the possessiveness of his gaze.
"Mind your eyes. I do not belong to you," he said, irritated.
"Not yet," he remarked with a sly wink.
Ken stood, anger ripping through him, and did not know how to answer him. He balled his hands into fists at his side and wished he could hit his smirking face.
Ran laughed softly, baring his teeth.
"I hope you are enjoying my discomfort."
"Actually, not as much as you think."
The taller man then turned and nodded at a matronly woman who scurried forward. "Please help this good lad to change for supper, as quickly as possible."
The woman curtsied and beckoned Ken to follow her. With a last look at Ran, Ken turned and went with her.
The woman led him up a winding staircase into the family's living quarters. They proceeded down a long narrow hallway until they entered a room that was the largest Ken had ever seen, enough to house the whole of his father's shack.
A small army of servant women waited inside with a tub of drawn water, soap, combs and brushes. A princely outfit was laid out upon the bed.
Ken protested as they laid hands upon him, but they only fell on deaf ears. They stripped off his clothes, to his utter mortification, with him fighting them all the way. "I have dressed myself since I was three!" he protested vehemently, albeit a little resignedly. These women were starting to scare him.
They said not a word, but dragged him and all but threw him in the tub. The water turned dark with dirt and soot. With a sigh he submitted to their ministrations. He was soaped and ducked beneath the water twice. Then they hauled him out unceremoniously and began to dry his hair and body vigorously with two towels. Before he could even blink, they had him in the trousers and shirt, the outer vest tight on his chest.
He looked down at himself, running a hand down the dark green velvet of his coat. He felt hot, the thick material serving to encase his body heat in its confines. His trousers were made of the finest leather gold could buy, the material feeling soft on his skin and molding to every curve of his legs. His inner shirt was made of cream silk, accentuating his well-formed chest.
Then, scarcely more than a quarter of an hour after entering the room, he was ready to leave. He hesitantly made his way downstairs, feeling awkward in the regal clothes, which were not only more restrictive, but also much finer than any he had ever owned. Is this to be my life? he wondered in despair, praying not to trip with the unfamiliar boots restricting his every step.
Ran stared unabashedly as he entered the hall. He winced slightly as he smiled at the lord. "Well, what do you think?" he asked as he stood before Ran.
He smiled, filling Ken with an insurmountable amount of joy. "Breathtaking. But, truth be told, I think I prefer you in the other."
"That makes two of us," Ken said, relieved.
"If you prefer to be in an attire where there are as few layers of clothing as possible, that is," Ran continued with a smirk, eyeing him up and down.
Ken blushed which only caused Ran's smirk to widen. He then bowed to him and led the way to the table and gave him a seat of honor on his right side.
For Ken the dinner was half dream, half nightmare. There was exotic food the likes of which he had never seen. Barons spoke to him of the latest court mishaps, mistaking him for a nobleman. Then there was the discomfort of his attire and his own growing unease at being in the place. I don't belong here and I want to go home. He forced himself to eat, but the food, delicious as it was, held little interest to him. His mind was full. Just a few hours before, Ran had told him a great secret and they had shared something beautiful and frightening. Now that man was gone, and in his place was Lord Ran, Earl of Fujimiya, who was bandying words with men who would never deign to speak with him if they knew he was not noble born. If Ran noticed his misery, he gave no sign.
The seat at his right was suddenly occupied by a young man with blue eyes and a bright smile. Ken was startled out of his dark thoughts upon the abrupt arrival of the newcomer, and he eyed him warily. Another spoiled noble brat, perhaps?
He was surprised when the young lad aimed a wide smile at Ran. Ken turned to his left in time to see Ran answer the smile in kind and utter a "Good evening, cousin."
Ken sat stunned. Cousin? He knew that Ran had a sister somewhere, but a cousin?
He implored Ran with his eyes for an explanation. Ran gave him an unreadable look. "Ken, this young lad is my cousin, Omi Tsukiyono. Omi, meet Ken," he answered abruptly.
Ken turned to his right and received a wide smile. He felt his lips twitch at the jovial look on the youth's face. Omi gave a half-bow and re-introduced himself. "Good evening, milord. I am honored to meet you."
Ken stammered out a reply, feeling ill at ease with the young nobleman. Ran interrupted their makeshift conversation. "How fares your ward, Omi?"
Ken heard a sigh from Omi's direction, and he noted that the sound didn't suit him. "He is alright, far as I know. He sometimes wakes up in time for us to feed and clean him, but other than that, he is still too weak to do otherwise."
"And his memory?"
Ken felt a pang of pity at the sudden pain in the youth's countenance. "He still can't remember."
Silence reigned over the three of them, in spite of the constant hum of conversation over the dining table. Finally, Omi heaved a final sigh and engaged Ken in an interesting banter concerning metallurgy and obscure theories the boy had read in some Alchemy books.
Finally getting back his appetite with his new friend's amusing quips, Ken finished his meal in no time. There were no protocols between them, no need for false guises. Here was one soul he could relate to in the impossible confines of decorum. Sadly, Omi had to retire early for duties he had to do. Wishing not to prod too much, Ken let him go with a promise that they would meet again.
His good mood once again evaporated when the other nobles swooped down upon his unoccupied person.
When the meal was done, the others left one by one until he and Ran were alone.
"Did you survive"? he asked, suddenly enough to startle Ken.
"I'm not sure," he admitted.
Ran nodded, as though he were not surprised.
He rose from the table and Ken did the same. "I want to show you something," he said at last.
"What?"
Ran placed his hand gently on his shoulder and turned him around. There, lining one wall of the hall, were the portraits of Ran's ancestors.
Ken moved closer to them, Ran beside him.
He went down the length of the hall from the first to the last. When he was done, he walked back slowly toward the beginning and stopped at last in front of one portrait in particular. He tilted his head as he studied it and felt a chill dance up his spine.
"It was he who brought this curse down upon us," Ran said. "Somehow I thought you would be able to tell."
"I can," he whispered.
"It shows, doesn't it?"
"It's the eyes."
The eyes indeed. I knew he would see what I see, Ran thought. He stood for a moment just watching him. He is so enchanting, so breathtaking. He stared at his lips, which were pursed invitingly. The memory of kissing them was nearly overpowering. He took a step forward before he stopped himself. It wouldn't be wise to kiss him in public until their relationship was announced.
To that end, he needed to speak with Ken's father. For once I'm grateful for the title, he thought. Else what would I say to the man – that I want to offer his son a dangerous and unconventional life with a cursed man?
"And Omi?"
Ran was startled out of his brooding. What about Omi? Oh. "He is outside of the curse, we are related, but not by fathers. His and my mother were sisters."
Were? Ken didn't press on. He knew the story of the Lord's deceased wife. He heard from the village women that she was a good woman. Pretty and kind of heart. He mourned for Ran's loss.
Ran shook his head. "We should get you home," he said, heart heavy with regret.
"I need my clothes back," he answered.
"I'm sorry, but we burned them," Ran said. He laughed out loud at the expression of horror that crossed Ken's face. "No," he said at last, "I haven't had them burned. They should be clean by now."
"I'll be right back," he promised as he turned and headed for the stairs.
Ran closed his eyes and pressed his fingers to his temples. What have I done? What manner of life have I offered him? Death and pain are all the future holds for me, and it is selfish of me to make him share that.
He opened his eyes and stared in anger at his namesake. Many a time he had wanted to rip the portrait from the wall and throw it into the fire, but never so much as he did now.
Within minutes Ken returned, looking far more comfortable, and Ran forced himself to smile. Together, they hurried outside to find the wagon waiting.
"Shall I take our esteemed guest home, milord?" Lan asked.
"No, I shall go with him," Ran said, forcing himself to answer.
The ride was long and torturous. He didn't know what to say to Ken, and he seemed to be experiencing the same problem. He started to speak a half-dozen times only to have the words die on his lips. The horse trotted along, his hoof-falls and the creaking of the wagon the only sounds in the too-still night.
At last they reached the village. "You can drop me off at the shop," Ken said finally.
"No, I'll take you home," Ran insisted.
They rolled through the village and Ken pointed out his home. How different it is from mine! Ran thought.
He climbed down from the wagon. By the time he reached the other side, Ken was already on the ground. He slowly lowered the hand that he had extended to help him down.
"Thank you," he said.
"For what? Ran answered, feeling moody and frustrated.
"I don't know."
Ran shook his head grimly. "At least that's honest.'
Ken studied the ground for a moment. "There is more work to be done. I will be ready an hour after sunrise."
"I will pick you up then," Ran said. "Good night."
"And to you," Ken replied resignedly.
He turned without another word and entered his house. Ran stood for a moment, wondering what was wrong with him. He should have taken Ken in his arms and kissed him senseless. He hadn't, though. All he had managed to conjure up was a weak farewell, no more than he would have given a stranger.
He climbed back into the wagon and turned it around. "I am a fool," he told the horse. "I want him and yet I shouldn't have him. I have him and I don't do anything. I should have at least kissed him. More the fool I am for that."
The horse whinnied shortly and picked up his pace. Ran leaned back, feeling wearier than he had in a long time.
Halfway home his booted foot kicked something. He bent down to retrieve it and saw that it was Ken's knife, still covered in scarlet liquid. Our blood. He picked it up and reverently tucked it into his belt. He would return it to Ken in the morning.
"How did everything go?" his father asked quietly as Ken entered the house.
"Well," he answered, giving him a strained smile. He glanced over to the bed used by Kase. He was asleep, snoring gently, and he wondered how late it was.
"How many horses?"
"One hundred forty-four."
His father whistled low. "I can close the shop tomorrow if you need my help."
Ken was about to tell him that wasn't necessary, but he stopped himself, remembering the nightmarish dinner experience and the silent drive back home. He didn't know if he trusted himself to be alone with Ran, not just yet. Either he was carried away with passion or he was frozen with fear.
He nodded slowly. "I would appreciate that."
"Done," Reiji answered.
Ken changed for bed and then lay down with a bone-weary sigh.
"Everything else all right?" his father grunted.
Ken didn't have an answer to that. "Everything else is fine."
Slowly he rolled onto his side and tried to push thoughts of Ran from his mind. It wasn't easy, though. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw his beautiful face, lit with the fires of love as his violet eyes bored into his. He could feel his soft lips on his and the warmth from his body as he leaned close.
What am I going to do? Am I bound to the words I spoke in a moment of passion? He wasn't even sure if he loved him. Attracted to him, yes. Afraid of him, yes. In love with him? I don't know. And what if I am – what does that mean? Can the two of us have a future that brings anything but pain?
He rolled onto his back again and glanced toward his father. He was still sitting up, staring into the fire. He looked lost in thought. For a moment he wanted to call out to him, to ask him what he should do.
It was easier when I was a child. There was only right and wrong, and there was no problem Father couldn't fix with a nod or a wave of his hand. That was before the wolf attacked, before Youji left.
He flipped onto his side. Maybe Grandmother can help me. Maybe she'll have some advice that I can use. Ken shuddered. She'll tell me that men are a nuisance, even to other men. Then she'll continue on in one of her rants about the value of true love in a world wrought by so much hate. I need to ask her, though, what made Grandfather different. How did she know she was in love, how did she know she was right? How something so right could be viewed as something so wrong in the laws of the Creator.
He flopped onto his stomach, the air rushing out of his lungs with a whoosh. Maybe the morning will make everything clear, shed a little light into these dark places in my mind.
He settled himself more comfortably in the confines of the covers, willing himself to let go of his thoughts.
TBC
Author's Notes:
As you might've noted, I had a bit of trouble with their outfits in this era. I resolved to use the costumes of the people in the Wheel of Time series (excluding the pink frilly outfits Tylin insisted on clothing Mat in, nyahaha!)
Someday, I would write the angstiest fanfic that would even make me cry! (stands poised with fist raised, which twitched spasmodically a few times) Nyahahaha! Angst makes the world go round! … or stops its rotation. My view is quite subjective, ne? (smiles sheepishly)
At last, after the shortest chapter ever, here comes the longest chapter ever… I hope. (bawls) That's why i decided to cut it to two parts. My fingers hurt, and I feel my first ever migraine coming. (shuts herself off in her room)
Oh yeah, I just bought volume 2 of the yaoi manga "Passion." When I was reading it, I was like "Oh god, this is so pathetic!" but when I came to the middle part I was like "Oooh, angst! Whee!" I wanna collect all the BL mangas out there… but why do they have to be so darned expensive! (bawls)
Replies to Reviews (Chapter 7.a):
Chitoshiya no Tohma (stares at CnT for a long time) … Uh… Oh my gaaah! What have you done to the real Chitoshiya no Tohma! (runs away screaming) Ehehehe, excuse my theatrics. Wow, I really AM proud of you! You were actually able to stomach a chapter chock-full of him! (stares again) Demo, did you hit your head or something? 'Nyways, thanks for thinking that it was well-written. It was a fun chapter to write (I think I can see you cringe) and I wanna write about them again but no ideas are coming to me. Oh well. Thanks for the review! Um, just another cookie for today. No money. (n.n)
HeatherR Wai? I have a sneaking suspicion that you're starting to sound like me. (0.0) So sorry 'bout the language. I was writing (okay, okay, typing) the first thing (dialogue) that comes to mind and when I read it again I was like "AUGH! I WROTE THAT?" but was too lazy to beautify it (or keep them in character). Whee! I really don't like the mush I write, but since you liked it… (runs around doing "The Baka Dance" until she… hits a wall) Waaah! I'm having trouble ever since chapter 6! Waaah! I need help! Mentally. All my notes are scattered in the whole vicinity and I'll be darned if anyone sees/reads them! Waaah! Maybe that's why I'm having trouble – organization or lack of it. (I now have a sneaking suspicion that what I'm talking about is completely off-topic) Now, did I make this part angsty or what? I am such a lousy writer. (bawls) Whee! Thanks SO much for the review! Have a cookie!
RosefaerietaleRed Nyehehe, thanks, I was really worried that I drove all of you away with the excessive mush-fest. Gah. I think more mush is due on chapter 8. (cringes) Thanks for overlooking blatant manifestations of Ran's OOCness. I should be thrown into a pond or something. Waaah! Thanks SO much for the review and have a cookie. (n.n)
Ru-chan (blinks) You are? (blushes) Oh, ehehehe, gomen, didn't mean to insult you or anything. 'Nyways, really? I was all for ending it with Ken stabbing Ran or something but I remembered that I abhor death fics so... I settled for quasi-angst instead. (sweatdrops) ... (blinks) You are a very astute individual, aren't you? (shudders) You have the plot all figured out! Whee! Now I have an excuse not to finish this terribly long, dragging ficcie! (dances around 'till she hits... the door) Nyehehe, I hope that the two figures it out 'coz I certainly don't... Big Bad Wolf? (... nosebleed) Gah, away bad thoughts! Thanks for the review and hope you like a cookie!
I better console myself by listening to "Wind" (Naruto's 1st ending song) It's a very cute song and I am totally in love with it. Ja!
