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Insanity is what keeps us alive. It flows in our veins, throughout our entire bodies, because our hearts continuously pump…pump…pump…
Yet, insanity can also be a very dangerous thing - which is why I'm going to fast forward through 6 months of it!
Yes, I am going to skip through 6 months of insanity, just because nothing really happens during these 6 months. Sure, Draco Malfoy blows up a few times, Luna finds a way to make butterbeer cap necklaces the latest fashion in all the magazines You know, like Sevenspleen, Fashion Witchcraft, Curse, Wizard, and Sports Illuscurated the school gets an internet connection, and Voldemort comes once or twice, killing Harry and all of his friends, only to find that they've been revived by Dumbledore and his magical powers.
Other than that, nothing really exciting happens.
So, here we go!
It is time for the dress rehearsal! P.S. If you are wondering how on earth these characters got to the dress rehearsal in one chapter, read the above paragraphs!
The entire cast huddled together in their first costumes and started chanting "Lions and Tigers and Bears! Oh my!" over and over and over again getting louder and louder, each and every time, so loud, in fact, that they went a little bit deaf and blind and got older and older and how many times and times do you think I can say "and" in one sentence and one paragraph and story.
15 times.
Wow.
Anyways, they finally stopped, to the glee of Dumbledore! The cast got onto the stage, repeated the third paragraph above this one a few times, then got to their positions. Yes, there were many new pairings, and Ginny was still horrified at Neville's story, but we'll get into that later.
So, everybody was in place, and the show started with a bunch of flying monkeys bouncing about the stage, as it is in the Broadway production. You see, Fred, George, and Lee all wanted parts in the show, so Dumbledore decided to make them dancing monkeys, as there was a lack of those in the show. McGonagall magicked I don't know how to spell it! them into monkeys, which they enjoys so much, they stayed in character all the time, created a new candy that would turn kids into monkeys, and made money at a carnival! Yay!
After the monkeys danced their hearts out, the ensemble don't you just love that word…ensemble…ensemble…ENSEMBLE! came out and sang the first lines in the show. The ensemble was made up of a bunch of random students, who really had no idea what they were doing as this was only their fifth rehearsal and already their dress rehearsal, but hey - isn't that why we all love good old Professor Flitwick?
Anyhow, Luna came out and sang her incredibly high noted perfectly it's a fan fiction, people! and made Dumbledore cry because his glasses broke and that made him sad. Very sad.
The show went alright - until the second song at least! Nobody knew the harmonies, but that's ok, because the rest of the completely horrible dress rehearsal made everyone forget about the awful noises. I mean…beautiful music…sure…
Here's everything that went wrong:
The lights melted everyone's stage make-up.
Hermione and Milicent were playing with their hair to much to notice anything going on around them.
Ginny was too mad at Neville to kiss him, so instead she slapped him and ran off-stage.
Lavender broke her leg. Yes. Broke her leg.
Draco's Wizard coat blew up. Again.
Ron sounded like a dying penguin every time he had to BAAAA.
Harry didn't even sound like a lion, so Ron beat him off the stage and made Ryan Seacrest come AGAIN.
And much, much more! If you would like to order the full package of mistakes, including a complementary video, please call:
765-4321 - BLAST OFF!
Oooops. Um…never mind…
Anyway! Finally the show ended, with the domino effect occurring during their practice bows.
"Oh well, you know what they say," Dumbledore said to them, or, he said it to the nearby chair, as he couldn't see anything with his broken glasses. "Bad dress rehearsal, GREAT SHOW!"
You know what? Everyone takes Dumbledore way too seriously…you know why? They believed him and all went skipping back to bed - except for a few people…haha!
"Um…Dumbledore…?"
"Yes, Ms. Lovegood?"
"Sorry about your glasses…I'll try to not be sharp next time on the high D…"
"Thank you dear."
"Okay…" Luna said to him as she left slowly.
Hermione also stayed behind, and after seeing Neville giving Dumbledore more money, she decided to talk to Dumbledore.
"Excuse me sir?"
"Yes, Ms. Granger?"
"Yes…well…what has Neville been giving - HEY!"
"What is it, Ms. Granger?"
"The writer-ess isn't here to stop me from asking you my question! Yay! Now I can ask whatever I want! Okay! Dumbledore - I have that question for you now! Dumbledore?"
She looked around for him then saw that he was lost. He fell into a pothole while trying to drive home. That just shows you kids, don't drive without your glasses.
But Hermione didn't know all this, so she just went back to her dorm, away from the constant squeals of a fan fiction writer. One thing lingered in her mind though…
'Wait…how were we so bad? I thought this was a fan fiction! The shows are supposed to be perfect!"
She shuddered and fell asleep.
