Oh my God! I'm so glad this stupid chapter is done! It was so hard! I really hope you like it, because I worked my butt off writing it. I don't know why it was hard, but it was. You can tell I was stuck for a long time on it, lol, because of the lack of updates.

Chapter Six

Tohma forced himself to smile charmingly into the TV camera even while his entire body ached madly. Reflected in the camera was a respectable president dressed in a fashionable business suit and a striped bowler hat. N-G's great tower rose dramatically behind him, and he noticed a small crowd gathering curiously around the reporters. Just let me get to my car, he protested inwardly, I didn't even know about this until this morning myself. "Yes, we are all very shocked. This trip to America was quite unexpected. I wouldn't want the public to worry though. Shuichi Shindo is perfectly safe. Why Mr. Shindo felt a need to travel to America at this time is something I cannot disclose at the moment. Thank you for your concern, but Mr. Shindo is fine."

"Did you plan to send Mr. Shindo to America? Is this a marketing stunt by N-G productions?" An aging female reporter had forced herself to the front of the pack and was now sticking her microphone directly into Tohma's face.

"No, I believe Mr. Shindo did this on his manager's volition. His manager is a competent man, and an American. He knows about the music industry in America, and I'm sure he thought he was doing the best thing for Bad Luck's vocalist. I'm sorry, I understand your eagerness: I too am worried about Mr. Shindo. However, I really must get to my car; I am a very busy man. I offer you good day." Pushing himself through the reporters, he quickly headed towards his car and finally escaped the mob as he stepped inside.

The highway rolled vaguely past him as confusing emotions fluttered like bats inside the cave of his heart. Shindo was gone. Maybe now, Eiri would be able to recover. Maybe now, he would be able to get on with his life. Maybe. What if he was wrong, though? What if everything he had been doing was wrong, and Eiri was going to be hurt all over again? What if…God forbid…Eiri needed Shindo. No, he told himself hurriedly, don't be silly. He'll be able to get over him. He'll be fine. But isn't that what he had said before, years ago when Eiri was struggling with his memories of Yuki? Tohma had assumed Eiri's emotions worked like his own, had assumed that Eiri's would realize that to protect himself against rape was self defense, not murder. But he hadn't, and now, it seemed too late for anything to help. And it was Tohma's fault. It's all your fault. For years, Tohma's self-accusations had clung like spider webs to his brain, and though he sometimes pushed them into the back of his mind, they never went away. If you would have never taken him to America. If you would have discovered he was being molested before it happened. If you would have just realized he was in so much pain. If. If. If!Tohma couldn't bear the "if"s any longer; he couldn't bear to let anything be his fault again. Tohma always told himself he should deal with his problems. People who didn't help themselves were weak; people who didn't stay in the present were pathetic. And so are you, he accused himself, and so are you.

He had better call before he came. Flipping on his phone, he pressed "one" and autodialed. Ring…ring…ring… No answer. Then, the familiar, concise: "This is Eiri Yuki. Leave a message."

"Eiri, I'm coming over. I have some news. See you soon."

When Tohma crept in, an ashen-faced Eiri was sprawled on his couch with an icepack balanced on his forehead. The entire room smelled faintly of beer. Eiri's eyes creaked open, causing the icepack to wobble precariously. "Hey," he mumbled.

"Eiri!" Tohma exclaimed, quickening his pace and kneeling hurriedly before his self-designated charge. "Eiri, are you alright?"

"I'm fine." Eiri's voice was a controlled growl. "Can you get me a cigarette?"

"Where are they?"

"I don't know. I think somewhere in my office." Eiri reached up, grabbed the melting icepack and shoved it into Tohma's hands. "Put this in the freezer, will you? Thanks." Rolling over, he crossed his arms tightly and gazed at the wall.

Tohma rushed to obey, and five minutes later he was back at Eiri's side with the lighted cigarette. "You should quit," he told Eiri while he handed it to him, "It's bad for you."

Eiri grunted in reply and inhaled the heavy fumes with a shaky relief.

"How did you get ill?" Tohma asked worriedly, "Did you check with your doctor? Are you taking any medication?"

"I'm just sick. Breathe." Eiri positioned himself so he was facing the ceiling. "Go sit down."

Tohma put his hand to Eiri's forehead, and his eyes widened in concern. "Did you check your temperature?"

"No."

"Eiri, you should check our temperature when your head gets this hot! Where is your thermometer!" Tohma stood up swiftly and headed off towards the bathroom. "No problem. I'll find it."

"Don't bother." Eiri made a halfhearted, slightly slurred protest, then drifted off. Oh well. Whatever.

"Eiri, your thermometer's broke." Tohma exclaimed as he headed back to Eiri's side.

"I know, idiot. Shuichi broke it." Eiri reached his hand out towards the useless, cracked instrument. "Give it to me."

"This is silly. I'm going to throw it out. I'll bring you a new one tomorrow."

"Hey!" Eiri protested, "Quit screwing with my stuff!"

"You can afford a new thermometer, Eiri. It's not that difficult to get a one."

An angry frown carved on his face, Eiri rescued his precious possession. He gave Tohma a glare as he shoved it into his pocket. "Fuck off, I'll get one myself."

"Well then why not get rid of the old one?"

Irritated, Eiri pushed himself into a sitting position. "Because it belonged to Shuichi!"

There was a stunned silence. Tohma could feel and hear his heart beating hollowly in his chest. Suddenly realizing what he had just said, Eiri made a frustrated sound in his throat and flopped back down onto the couch.

"…Oh." Tohma finally whispered, "Oh."

"Forget it. Whatever. It's not that important. Here, take it. Throw it out." Yuki

shoved his hand into his pocket and held out the thermometer to Tohma like it was some kind of cheap gift.

Tohma hesitated, then pushed Eiri's hand gently away. "No. Keep it. Is there anything else I can get for you?"

"Did I ask for anything else?" Eiri snapped while his hand closed tightly around the broken object.

"No," Tohma said in an ashamed voice.

"Yeah. How about you go sit down or something?"

Tohma followed Eiri's vague instructions by positioning himself on the couch as best he could without affecting Eiri. Almost hesitant, he stroked Eiri lovingly on the chest. "Do you know why you're sick? Are your symptoms coming back?" Mika… Tohma's fingers pulled back from Eiri and fell uselessly to his lap.

"I'm fine. Don't get worked up. Now, what's the news?"

"Oh!" Tohma exclaimed. Then, a hesitant look spread over his features. Would it be worse for Eiri if he told him now, or later?

"Well?" Eiri asked impatiently, "Well? You seemed anxious to tell me on the phone."

Tohma sighed and played with the fluffy frills on his sleeves. Eiri smelled of beer, but he seemed pretty stable. He had probably just had a few drinks. He would be alright. "Shindo…he's gone. He went to America."

"I know. It was on the news. Did you really have nothing to do with it?"

"Nothing. But you know I would have supported it if I would have known."

Eiri sighed. "Of course."

"Of course." Tohma agreed mildly.

"…Seguchi? What time is it?"

Tohma examined his watch. "6:30. Why?"

"No reason." Eiri's right hand tossed his cigarette stub into the coffee table's ash tray.

Silence. More silence. Tohma gazed at his now neatly folded fingers. "Mika…she's…pregnant."

"What?" Eiri snapped disbelievingly.

"She's pregnant. Mika is."

Eiri sat up abruptly. "Is it yours?"

"Who else's would it be?" Tohma heard slight despair filter into his voice. "She's not like me."

"You're both annoying." Eiri commented unhelpfully, not seeming too concerned with Tohma's predicament. He slid back to his former vegetative state.

Tohma choose to ignore Eiri's remark. "I want her to get rid of it." I need her to get rid of it.

"She won't. She's stubborn. She's wanted a kid since I can remember."

"I know." Tohma exhaled unsteadily.

Eiri waved his hand around hazily. "My dad was pissed off when she started sprouting about kids, said she should become a nun. You know that doesn't suit her one bit. Doesn't suit any of us kids. So when that didn't work, he tried to marry her to a Zen monk. Keep the line going. The religious nut was some hillbilly. Lived in this tiny traditional town, no shopping center for miles."

Tohma snorted.

"Yeah, right. Dad was screwed. The whole damn temple is screwed. But you know what? I could really care less. He doesn't get what he did wrong."

"What did he do wrong?"

"I…" Eiri's hand stopped and dropped to his side. His voice held a hint of startlement. "I don't know either. He was ok. He tried his best. I guess we're all screwed now."

"I guess we are."

"What the hell did I do to have such bad karma?"

Tohma smiled humorlessly. "Kill some people."

"I mean before. What did I do before…that made me this screwed up now?"

"Who knows?"

"I bet somebody knows."

Tohma smiled a bit. "You mean like a physic?"

"No, retard. Like…I don't know. Somebody." Eiri waved at the ceiling.

"Like God?" Tohma couldn't suppress a disbelieving smirk.

Eiri didn't catch the sarcasm. "Yeah. Yeah, like that."

"Maybe," Tohma said doubtfully, hands flopped helplessly. "Maybe there's nothing. Just a big, huge nothing."

"You might be right."

They lapsed into silence for awhile.

"You know, you're pretty decent, Seguchi."

Tohma stiffened, then sudden realization hit him. "Eiri, are you drunk?"

"Possibly."

A maternal, scolding tone entering into his voice, Tohma asked, "How many drinks did you have, Eiri? How many drinks could make you drunk?"

"I don't remember, but you look really hot."

"Eiri," Tohma said logically, "Eiri, maybe you should go to bed." Fear was rising in Tohma's chest. If Eiri was depressed enough to drink himself into a state where he rambled about religion, then Shindo's sudden trip must have really hit him hard.

"Sounds good. Come with me." Eiri's fingers inched up Tohma's arm while he pushed himself up to Tohma's level. Slight stubble brushing against Tohma's smooth skin, Eiri pressed his lips against the other mans cheek.

"Eiri…" Despite himself, Tohma wanted Eiri to continue. Mika's intense, hurt eyes gazed fiercely into the depths of his soul. He was betraying her generous, unearned trust by even being so close to Eiri, by even wanting him to kiss him again. And yet, he couldn't help himself. For years, he had longed for Eiri to notice him, to touch him, to like him, and now that it was finally happening years of pent up emotion took over everything logical. He began to respond to Eiri's insistent coaxing, leaning his head backward to allow Eiri to kiss his neck repeatedly.

"Come on…come on…" Eiri breathed seductively onto Tohma and Tohma recognized too late the overly heavy beer smell wafting over him. Tohma's bowler hat slipped off and dropped carelessly to the ground.

Conflicting emotions battled fiercely for dominance inside Tohma's chaotic mind. Every ounce of his mental strength concentrating on the task, Tohma finally stood up and pushed Eiri off him. "I promised Mika…I wouldn't…"

Eiri pulled Tohma back down into his former sitting position. "Why does she have to know anything? You said she was a business deal. Well, now your business deal is paying off."

"Eiri, we shouldn't…" Tohma struggled feebly as Eiri pushed him down onto the couch. Eiri… Eiri… Tohma felt Eiri straddle him and lean down to kiss him seductively on the lips. Two hands reached under his suit and rubbed with a harsh, forceful touch.

Pressing his lips against Tohma's startled ones, Eiri found his kiss quickly and passionately returned. Hands clutched his shirt and his brother-in-law pushed his lips back onto his. "Better," Eiri whispered as Tohma succumbed. Unbuttoning Tohma's pants for him, Eiri smiled as Tohma's hurried hands clumsily began undoing Eiri's shirt.

"Why are you doing this, Eiri?" Tohma asked desperately, "Why?" I don't see why…I suddenly deserve your affections…

Eiri didn't respond.


I think this story is the first Gravitation fanfiction where two characters sit around discuss religious issues. Don't quote me on that though, lol! One time, I read a story about these Fruits Basket characters and it had all these religious referances that didn't go with the plot. It was odd. I'm not trying to promote anything here, and I'm deffinately not trying to portray Buddhism in a negative light. I'm a Buddhist myself, ignoring the fact that I'm not a very religous one!