DISCLAIMER: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
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Authors Note: Please view my profile for details about reviews and future updates. Bear with me as I am currently working through my final year of schooling, but I will dedicate myself to this story as much as I am able. I am not exactly sure about ratings so if there is a problem, just tell me so. I have checked extensively through the story for errors, but am sure that I have missed many things. See something that should be fixed or worded differently? Just post me a note, if you decide to review... Thankyou
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Chapter One – Reconciliation
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Harry Potter opened the cover of his handsome leather photo album and immediately felt the tears begin to fall. There, waving from the photograph below him, was Sirius Black, the best man at his parents wedding, and, Harry's godfather. He looked so happy in the photograph, so happy for his best friend, James, who was marrying a very beautiful young lady, Lily.
"Who would have thought," muttered Harry bitterly. "That their son would be responsible for the death of the man they trusted enough to be named godfather."
Harry lay down upon his bed, curling up into as small and insignificant ball as he could manage. He propped the book upon his pillow and watched his godfather wave at him merrily. Harry had had a father. He was aware of that, and of the fact that they looked equally alike, but he had never experienced the love that was supposed to exist between the two of them. He knew very well that his father loved him, but Harry had been much too young, as were all babies at that time, to remember those moments.
He remembered seeing Sirius for the first time; it seemed like so long ago now, when he was only thirteen years of age. Sirius had been wrongly convicted for the betrayal, and therefore the resulting murder, of James and Lily Potter. It was therefore no surprise that Harry had disarmed him and placed him under his wand the very first time he had lay eyes upon his shrunken and bony face. But he had learned the truth, learned that it had been Peter Pettigrew who had betrayed his parents, who had framed Sirius by seemingly killing himself when all along he had escaped and fled from the Wizarding community. And Harry had been overjoyed when he was offered a place beneath the roof of Sirius Black, but Peter Pettigrew had escaped, being the sneaky rat that he was, and Harry had had to endure a year with only occasional sightings of his godfather, who was still wrongly thought to be the escaped convict of Azkaban.
And then fifth year had come, and while Sirius Black was no longer running, or rather flying from the Ministry, he still had no choice but too hide from them to avoid that desolate and lonely prison cell that awaited him if he was caught. But the year had eventually ended, Sirius growing more and more upset that he was of no use to anyone, and Voldemort had seized upon that opportunity to lure Harry to the Ministry, sending him a vision of Sirius being tortured by his faithful Death Eaters. Harry had immediately gone to his rescue. He had, with Hermione's advice, tried to see if Sirius was actually safe and sound at home before he had taken off with his friends in close pursuit, but Sirius had not answered his calls and Harry had feared the worse. By the time he discovered the Death Eaters without Sirius, it was too late. The Aurors came to the rescue, Sirius, Remus and Albus Dumbledore alongside them, and it was during the ensuing fight that Bellatrix Lestrange, Sirius' own cousin, cast the curse that knocked him through the strange and mysterious veil.
Harry wasn't sure who to blame more. Him or Bellatrix? He just didn't know anymore. He had often blamed Peter, or Wormtail, for the death of his parents and imprisonment of Sirius, but lately, he didn't know whether he had enough information. Had Wormtail gone willingly, or had he been asked and was scared that he would be killed if he was tortured? Harry could name many people who would prefer to join Voldemort rather than die. Many people were scared of death, more so then of Voldemort himself. But then again, people only feared Voldemort for the death and destruction that followed him.
But Wormtail had betrayed his friends to Voldemort, and had done it willingly as well. As much as Harry hated to admit it, he could understand people betraying people they didn't know, but their own friends? This was what made Wormtail guilty in Harry's mind. Harry knew that he was willing to die for Ron and Hermione, and although he hated to admit it, he knew that Sirius would have died for him. He had said he would die for James, and Harry knew he would do no less for his best friend's son. But that didn't make it any easier. Sirius wouldn't have had to die for him if he had not fallen for Voldemort's ploy. But Harry often thought of what Sirius must have gone through when he learned that James had died. He had made Wormtail the secret keeper, thinking it a smart plan, a plan that would throw off Voldemort completely. He had said that he as good as killed them, by giving Wormtail the job. Harry sighed.
"Sirius must be happy now. He is back with my father. That's what he wanted."
Harry knew Sirius sometimes looked at him and saw James. He considered Harry to be so much like James, and Harry knew that he was disappointed when he discovered differences between the two. Harry felt so much anger when he thought of this. Sirius had had no time to adjust. He had felt the guilt of making Wormtail the secret keeper, had sought him out for vengeance but then had been framed and thrown into Azkaban. He never had the time to grieve properly, so Harry wasn't surprised that he reminded Sirius of James. He imagined that Sirius had probably had to relive the memories over and over. He would have seen the dead bodies of James and Lily, the ruins of their house, and the time when he transferred his job over to Wormtail. How often would he have felt that guilt over and over?
Harry felt the tears drip down his face. He bowed his head letting the tears drip down his cheeks and drop to the floor below. He shook uncontrollably, the palms of his hands pressing into his eyes. It just wasn't fair. Sirius had been such a great person and had died with the entire Wizarding world against him. He hated to think what would happen if they found out that Sirius Black, the escaped convict, betrayer of the Potter's and murderer of Peter Pettigrew and twelve Muggles, had died. He could imagine the laughing faces of the Wizarding community, the newspapers declaring that he had got what he deserved and the endless numbers of people approaching him and talking to him of how happy he must be that the betrayer of his parents was dead. He just couldn't handle it. How could Sirius have lived knowing these thoughts?
Harry sobbed harder, slipping from his bed to the cold hard floor below. The worst part of all was his fear that Sirius didn't know how he felt. Harry had loved Sirius, but had Sirius known it? He knew that Sirius had been disappointed that he was not like James but did this mean that Sirius didn't love him? Harry knew, and was sure that everyone else would if they thought about it, that he had loved Sirius. What else would have made him so eager to rush to the aid of his godfather in the Ministry of Magic?
But he hoped that Sirius had understood that. He did not want Sirius to die thinking that he had been useless and unloved. Harry didn't know what to think. He stood, still sobbing, taking in quick sharp breaths. He could feel his heart beating quickly. There was the nervous throb in his chest, the guilty throb - that at any moment the thing that you most definitely don't want revealed will explode above you for the whole world to see. Harry paced back and forth, just for the sake of it, just to take his mind off everything that had happened. He wanted to forget everything. He wanted to forget the shocked face of Sirius as he fell through the veil. He wanted to forget his thoughtless actions as he sped towards the Ministry of Magic with some of his classmates behind him. He wanted to forget Cedric dying in his front of his eyes, and the thoughts of his mother and father begging for mercy. He wanted to forget that Wormtail had betrayed his parents and that Voldemort was out there torturing people.
Harry wanted to forget the Wizarding world; he wanted out, he wanted nothing to do with it. He didn't want the weight of the prophecy upon his shoulders. He was breaking down, he had seen too much, done too much. Think about it, he though. Should an eleven year old have to be responsible for the death of an adult? Should a twelve year old be lured down into the dungeon with the thought that his best friend's younger sister could be dead? Should a thirteen year old have to face the man who was responsible for the death of his parents? Was a fourteen year old supposed to see Cedric Diggory die in cold blood before his eyes? And should he have had to see the fatherly figure of his life be killed when he was only fifteen years old?
Harry let out a loud choke, and started destroying every part of his room that he could reach. He brought his fist down and heard the desk handle being ripped from the draw, his knee connected with the side of the cupboard so firmly that there was an indent. Tears streamed down he's face as he created a hole, his knee connecting with the indent once more. He sobbed and his breathing became wreaked with grief as his fist created an imprint against the door, his chest clutched tightly with pain. His foot twitched with agony as it ripped through the base of the bookshelf and his muscles tensed and screamed as he ripped the pages from every book he could come across. And he screamed with all the voice he could muster as his fists smashed through the window and he collapsed to the floor crying upon the glass, his body shaking and his emerald eyes shining with all the tears that he had left unshed for so many years. So consumed by grief was he, that he failed to notice a small, green haired mouse, creep from beneath the bed and under the door.
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Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley jumped from their seats in front of the fire when they heard the pop of someone Apparating into the Black family mansion Apparition zone. They hurriedly jogged across the room, pulling open a door to their left to see the visitor. It was Nymphadora Tonks. Her face was flushed and her hair a bright green. He grey robes were slightly askew at the neck and her face showed fear and need of haste.
"Tonks?" spoke Hermione worriedly, taking in her flushed appearance. "How is Harry? Is he ok?"
Tonks ignored her completely and looked straight towards red-headed Ron. She needed simple answers not questions.
"Is Albus here?" she urged.
Ron nodded.
"He is in the kitchen," he replied.
Tonks ignored the worried calls of Hermione and rushed out towards the kitchen, knocking a table on her way down the hall and upturning a vase. Without so much as a knock, she pushed upon the heavy doors of the kitchen and entered. She turned and made sure the doors of the room were locked and secured, before heading towards the table.
The place was quite hospitable now. It was clean and tidy, and smelled still from the remains of that night's dinner. Albus Dumbledore was talking to Remus Lupin in hushed tones. His hair was as white as ever and although he looked his usual cheery self, there was the slightest hint of concern and worry beneath his features. His hunched shoulders showed that he was under some strain at the moment, but he at least looked better then Remus did. Remus was looking worse then usual. He still looked ill and exhausted and his hair still had hints of grey throughout it, but he was very concerned for the well being of Harry. He was also suffering greatly from the death of Sirius. His clothing was as patched and frayed as always, and the contrast between them and Dumbledore's shining robes of stars was almost comic. Despite this, Remus somehow managed to keep a cheery and pleasant aura around him.
"Ah Tonks," he spoke with a wave. "We thought we heard you making your way down the hall."
Tonks waved her wand, absent-mindedly, and Remus began to stand, knowing that she had been monitoring Harry. She motioned for him to sit and knocked a chair in her rush to sit down. She had to bend to pick it back up before she could rest. She looked up and into Dumbledore's deep blue eyes.
"Albus," she started. "I came as quickly as I could. Harry is breaking down at the moment. He said that no one would have guessed that his parent's son would be responsible for the death of the man they trusted enough to be named godfather. He also said that Sirius must be happy now, as he would be with James once more. The last time I saw him, he was lying among the pieces of glass from the bedroom window that he smashed, and he had destroyed half the furniture situated in his room."
"He destroyed half his room without magic?"
Tonks nodded. That was at least one good thing. Harry would have been expelled otherwise.
"He was punching, kicking and ripping everything in his reach. I would assume that his family would have found him by now. They must be sleeping as no one was up when I Went in. They wouldn't just ignore the noise, but I have no idea how they are going to treat him when they see the state of his room and their furniture."
"Albus I must go to him," rushed Remus standing. "I have to stop him from doing this. He is harming himself."
"Remus, please sit," spoke Albus, calmly indicating the chair. Remus was wise enough to know when to listen to Dumbledore. He would not ask someone to sit unless he had a good reason. "I am not going to stop you from seeing him, but you must think first. I can not allow you to walk straight into the house and perhaps attack the Dursley's. He has left home before and he may do so again. I doubt that he would be thinking with thoughts about Sirius whirling through his head. I had hoped that he had recovered greatly after the talks from the last school term, but perhaps not. In his current state he may want to escape from where he is. Sometimes, when you are feeling particularly distressed, the only thing you can think of doing is running. But that will not solve your problems. Living each day with that knowledge locked a way inside will possibly impend the man that he would otherwise become. I fear that if he is not helped soon he may wish to cut himself off from magic altogether. If that is his choice, there is little that I can do to change that. Someone must make sure he does not consider that choice, and, if he is already considering it, we must try to persuade him from taking that path. I want you to fix what you can, but I suggest you wait for Madam Pomfrey. I will send her over immediately. I think you should try to talk to him Remus, and Nymphadora may help you. As you know you are willing to be his guardian now. Perhaps you should consider taking Harry to Diagon Alley tomorrow. He should have received the owls by now with his lists. It may help to distract him. Take this too and give it to him sometime when he has recovered." Dumbledore handed Remus a simple sealed envelope. "Go in about half an hour. I will tend to the Dursley's and the security around the house quickly. On the strike of nine, you may see him. Please do not go to him before that time. Tell Ronald, and Hermione and Virginia that they must not contact him till after tomorrow. I suspect that he will have to talk to you first before they begin once more. Diagon Alley is well protected, but it is not impossible for Voldemort to get in. So be careful. Perhaps you should give Harry this sweet developed by Fred and George. It contains Polyjuice Potion, and will change Harry's appearance for about half an hour. Keep giving him one before each half hour is up and he will have no problems of being seen." Dumbledore stood, his shoulders now high and proud, like they were whenever action was needed. He seemed to thrive upon problem solving.
"I will leave you two to it. I wish you the best of luck. I will come to see you sometime tomorrow in Diagon Alley." He gave Remus a nod and leant down to whisper in Tonk's ear.
"Remus needs help maybe as much as Harry. Watch him carefully. He may gain some healing from this event as well." He gave her shoulder a quick squeeze and walked from the room. Remus' face was etched with expressions of determination and worry. Tonks looked towards him.
"Perhaps we should prepare ourselves."
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For fifteen minutes Tonks and Remus pored over maps of Diagon Alley, inspecting the terrain and wondering about the best places to hide and escape should an attack occur. The place seemed rather secure to the both of them. The main worry was locations such as Knockturn Alley that would allow access for a possible attack, though it was not impossible to escape if necessary. The main problem was Harry. Tonks and Remus were sure that they would be able to get him into a number of shops easily enough and use the fireplaces. They had very little information to go on really. What they did have all depended on their location should an attack occur. Dumbledore didn't see an attack as a likely event anyway, but it was always good to be prepared.
Mrs Figg's house had been linked to the Diagon Alley fireplace. They were to take him her place and head on from there. Mrs Figg had been sent an owl to tell her of what would be occurring sometime the next morning. It was very important that they were careful and prepared for anything. Remus sighed to himself. He was still very worried about Harry, who was the only one left in his life now. Remus knew that with the death of Sirius, the responsibility of Harry would fall to him. He didn't mind, in fact he looked forward to it, but he was nervous also. He too was grieving for Sirius. Many times during the day he just tuned out and couldn't hear what anyone was saying to him. He knew that Albus was concerned, but he just kept waving it off and said he was fine. He hoped dearly that he and Harry could work together through this, that they would both be able to help one another with the death of their friend. Remus vowed to put on a brave face for Harry tomorrow, and to try his hardest to stay focused at all times. He shook himself. He needed to focus, he couldn't have Harry attacked and killed as well. He needed him.
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Tonks had seen Remus Lupin shake himself. She smiled slightly; at least he was trying to stay focused. She had to admit that she was concerned. While Harry had a beat-everything-to-dust method of fixing his grief, Remus had a stay-silent-and-ignore-everyone-around-you method. Tonks grinned as she admitted that she preferred Harry's way. At least you could tell that Harry was still in the world of living. Remus was improving slightly. Tonks had noticed that he had been trying very hard to avoid these periods of lapses during his working day. Tonks guessed that all he needed was time. She heard hushed whispers from behind her and turned, seeing Ron and Hermione whispering hurriedly to Ginny.
Ron was as tall as ever. His red hair stuck up in odd places, and his clothing was beginning to shrink upon him once more. His freckled hand gave a twitch as he placed a card upon the castle. Half of it fell and Hermione shook her head at him in dismay. Her hair was still bushy and she had been reading extensively over the holidays once more. Her parents were staying at the mansion currently, wanting to learn a little more about the world that Hermione was a part of. They were sitting watching the children with quiet amusement, and often felt out of place. It was not because they were Muggles; they were in fact treated with quiet respect. It was more because they knew very little about what was going on. When people were concerned and frowning, they were usually smiling. But they had grown quite fond of Ron and Ginny. They made Hermione happy so were naturally ok with the parents.
Tonks felt the corner of her mouth twitch as she saw Ron glance quickly towards Hermione. She was growing to become quite beautiful. Ginny sat there silently, her hair long and straight, but as bright as Ron's. Although she would never match Ron in height, she was nonetheless quite tall for her age. Her face was determined as she silently built up the half of the castle that Ron had destroyed. All three were dressed for bed and would whisper occasionally. Tonks wondered what it was they were talking about. She could see they were only feigning interest and concentration upon their current project. Hermione looked up and saw her watching, and Tonks was sure that she suddenly changed the subject. She saw their eyes flick towards her quickly and her suspicions were confirmed.
"What are you three up to?"
Remus looked up and over at them. He grinned when he saw the innocent looks upon their faces. It reminded him of three boy's, years before, who had looked at him innocently when he had walked in to his dormitory to find everything changed to pink.
"Nothing," said Hermione a little too quickly.
"Oh is that so?" asked Tonks narrowing her eyes.
"Yep that's so," said Ginny with a grin. This farther deepened their suspicion and Remus could see Ron fidgeting uncomfortably.
"Ron?" he asked. Ron looked at him sheepishly and then towards Hermione who shook her head vigorously.
"We were talking about Harry," spoke Ginny suddenly and Hermione narrowed her eyes at her. Ginny just rolled her eyes. "Ron and Hermione were just updating me on how he is doing. We didn't think you had told us enough, so we...ah...we were planning to sneak into the conference room later on when there was a late night meeting to see if we could learn anything."
"Oh and how were you planning to do that?" asked Remus folding his hands upon his chest. Ginny blushed furiously and Hermione giggled. Ron was looking at Ginny with narrowed eyes.
"Um...we were planning to sneak in through a passage that comes from the...that comes from the..."
"Male bathroom," said Hermione for her giggling furiously and stuffing her fist into her mouth to stifle the sounds.
"And how do you know about that?" asked Tonks.
"Ask Ginny!" spoke Ron coldly his eyes still narrowed at her.
Tonks and Remus looked at each other and grinned.
"You weren't sneaking around in the male bathroom were you Ginny?" asked Tonks cheekily.
"No!" said Ginny defiantly.
"Oh so what we're you doing?"
"I was...um...I was..."
"Snogging with Dean!" spat Ron. Ginny glared at him.
"Please don't tell Mum," she begged looking back up at Tonks. "She'd probably punish me and send me back to the Burrow for the holidays. Please don't tell."
Remus laughed along with Hermione, who had been giggling throughout the conversation.
"It's not funny!" spoke Ginny furiously. Remus just laughed harder, and heard the Granger's trying to stifle their laughter as well. They were succeeding slightly better then Remus and Hermione.
"Ron!" fumed Ginny turning her attention to him. "Some brother you are, telling my secret to the world!"
"Oh my fault is it? It's not my fault that nature called and I walked in to see you two hidden inside a cubicle!"
Tonks joined in the laughter at this.
"Hidden," Ginny spluttered. "You make it sound like we were being intimate! Well we weren't!"
"That's because I walked in just in time!" replied Ron smugly. "And just as well I did. Who knows what Dean would have done?" He shuddered at the thought.
"Just because you've never kissed anyone in your life!" yelled Ginny poking him in the chest.
"Oh yeah well...um...well you're too young to be kissing other boys!"
Everyone in the room was laughing at the two now. Ron and Ginny looked around in disbelief.
"You're all mad," said Ron throwing up his hands. "Crazy."
He stood up, shot a glare at Ginny, and walked from the room.
Remus and Tonks pulled themselves up off the floor.
"OK well we'll tell you what we know. But you must not repeat it to anyone, except Ron. And by the way, don't even think about teasing Ron with this. Deal?"
The two girls nodded eagerly.
"Ok well firstly none of you must contact Harry until after tomorrow ok? Right, now Harry is still greatly distressed about what happened to Sirius, and we are sure that he is still blaming himself. He is fine if Sirius isn't mentioned, but Hagrid told Albus that when he tried to talk to Harry about him, Harry took off and made some excuse that he had to see Hermione and Ron in the hospital wing. It wouldn't be strange except for the fact that he had apparently just come from there. His behaviour is still quite normal for people who lose someone however. But people whose friends or families have saved them with their own lives often feel guilty. That is what Harry is going through and we believe that he just needs some time. The real problem is that he has just gone on a rage, smashing his furniture, ripping school books and shattering windows. We fear that he is coming to the conclusion that everybody who loves him or gets too close to him will die. His parents died, Cedric died the very moment that they were becoming friends and then Sirius died saving Harry and yourselves. We fear that he will soon close himself off from all who love him in an effort to protect them."
"But he could do something really stupid!" said Hermione with tears brimming in her eyes.
"We doubt that Harry will go quite that far. He is depressed yes, but we doubt he is quite near that stage. We will know this night when we see him. Madam Pomfrey will tend to any serious injuries and then we will talk to him for the night. I'm sure he will be fine!"
Something in his voice told Tonks that Remus was trying to convince himself of that. Hermione seemed to have got the same impression.
"Can we come too?" she asked eagerly nonetheless. "We haven't seen him in a while and I bet he is frustrated with us again. We have been contacting him very little. We don't really know what to say…"
"No."
"What? Why not?" she spluttered indignantly.
"Hermione you're a clever witch and I am sure that you can understand that Harry isn't ready yet. Even if you don't talk about Sirius he will know that you are deliberately avoiding the subject. Remus is going to mention Sirius, and we are sure that Harry will try to avoid it at first, but when he realises that Remus has been through exactly the same as he is going through, we are sure he will listen. He will understand that there is someone who can comprehend his feelings and we hope that he will open up to us. But don't worry. We will give you the full report some time tomorrow night when we get back."
Hermione nodded, but it was clear she was unhappy about the circumstances.
"Ron will probably go no matter what you say," she muttered.
"Tell him what we've told you. I doubt he will get very far if he does try to leave. You three are being closely monitored. You have learned quite a nice deal of information now, and we must be sure that none of that leaks out somehow. I suggest you distract yourselves tomorrow by doing something constructive."
Hermione and Ginny looked about ready to fight when they realised they weren't being trusted with what they had learned, but Remus cut in.
"Now I don't want to hear any arguments. It is for the best. Just make sure you keep what you know secret and before long you will find that you have the respect and trust from the members of the order."
The girls nodded.
"We will be working at the twins store tomorrow," said Ginny brightly. "They are going to pay us and Mum and Dumbledore have said that it is ok!"
"Well excellent then. We have to head off now though. Remember to tell Ron what you have learned," Tonks said with a quick wink. Remus rose from the chair quickly, folding up the maps and tucking them beneath his arm. Tonks followed more calmly, thinking how lucky Harry was to have someone who cared about him so dearly. She hurried along after Remus. He was eager enough to see that Harry was alright. It would be for the best if she did not keep him waiting.
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Harry Potter woke suddenly. He listened intently, not moving. What had woken him? His scar wasn't prickling, and the house was quiet. He felt the numb pain in his body from cuts and bruises and embedded pieces of glass. Not enough pain to wake him. He heard it and recognised it as the sound of glass crackling. He sighed, nothing to worry about, he had fallen asleep upon the glass covered floor and it was shifting beneath him. As he closed his eyes he suddenly thought of something. 'But I'm not moving.' In a second his eyes had shot open and he had rolled across the floor to his desk. The light flashed on in the room as his hand reached the switch of his lamp and his wand pointed towards the glass covered floor.
Two mice were there. He would have sighed with relief had one of the mice not been green. He frowned and pocketed his wand. The two mice shot a glance at each other and began to grow. Wizards. Remus and Tonks stood before him grinning. His frown deepened. He had wanted to cut himself off from the Wizarding world and it wasn't helping that a witch and wizard had just appeared before him. He sighed and realised that if he had really wanted to cut himself off, then he wouldn't have grabbed his wand. He fought the thought away and gave it up to be a habit. He would just have to grow out of it.
"What do you two want?"
"What! Not so much as a hello?" asked Tonks.
Harry glared at her.
"I was trying to sleep you know, so if you could just make it quick." Remus inhaled sharply. Tonks heard their voices rising and cast silencing charms around the room to cut off any sound from being heard by unwanted Dursley ears.
"It might actually take a little time. We have a lot to talk about Harry. I know how you're feeling and we are going to help you through this," Remus started heading towards him.
"You have no idea what I'm going through Lupin!" snarled Harry. "Sirius was my godfather and the closest thing to a father I have had in a very long time! I don't need your help, so get out of my room!"
He drew his wand and pointed it at him furiously, but Remus was, of course, faster. His wand was pointing at Harry when Harry's was only pointing at his feet. Tonks pulled it from his grasp, the rage in Remus' eyes scaring her. She could see that Harry was backing away slightly too.
"Remus! What do you think you are doing!" she rushed furiously.
"He thinks I don't know what he is going through. I knew Sirius better then he, and for twelve years I was living under the shadow that he was a back-stabbing murderer that betrayed another of my friends to Voldemort himself! Then I had to deal with the guilt that came when I discovered Sirius was innocent! I considered him guilty without a doubt! I was so disgusted with him that I wouldn't even talk to him about what had happened. I believed what everyone had been saying, and it did not, for one single little moment, ever cross my mind that he had been betrayed himself! And what did Sirius do? He forgave me, just like that," he seethed with a click of his fingers. "No anger, no hard-feelings, just friendship! And then, what did I do? I went and made sure he was safe and secure in the place he hated more then any other, bitter memories flooding through his mind! And because of that, I had to watch him die, the friend who trusted me even though I treated him like he was going to infect the world with some unknown disease! I was ignoring his return, not once did I mention how much it meant to me that he was back in my life once more. And he accuses me of not understanding," he fumed, roughly indicating Harry.
"Remus! That is no excuse to threaten him. He is your friends' son and godson. You should know better. You're an adult for Merlin's sake! Don't you think he has been through enough without you trying to curse him?"
Remus didn't say anything, but Tonks saw the rage fade from his eyes and guilt replace it. They looked over at Harry, who had slipped to the floor unnoticed. His head was bowed so they couldn't see his face, but they both heard his sobs and the tears dripping from his face.
"I'm sorry Remus," he murmured through his sobs. "You had every right to threaten me. I have been so selfish. How could I say that to you? They were your best friends, and you have had to live with everything that has happened for so much longer than I. I won't say I didn't mean what I said, because I did at the time. But please, please don't leave me. Everyone else has, and I don't know how much longer I can hold out. I want your help. I know you might not believe me, and I'm not sure I believe myself, but I want to make it up to you, and this is the way I want to do it." He shook now. Remus knew how hard it could be for children to admit things like this, especially to an adult.
He sat beside him and pulled him into a hug. He sobbed into his shoulder, crying freely, letting his grief out. Remus gently stroked his back and ran another hand through his hair. His hand felt wet, he lifted it up to his face and held back a gasp. He turned it so Tonks could see and saw her wince as she saw the blood covering it. The red liquid was slowly seeping from the deep cuts upon Harry's back. Harry continued to choke and sob, falling asleep with his head resting on Remus' shoulder.
-
Remus paced the room, every so often throwing glances over at a sleeping Harry. They had placed him upon the bed, face down so that they could tend to the wounds upon his back. Madam Pomfrey had arrived and has stopped the bleeding and had been attending to his wounds ever since. The glass was still embedded in his skin and as Madam Pomfrey slowly began to remove it, Harry woke with a start and a yelp of pain. Madam Pomfrey held him down firmly. Remus rushed to his side.
"Harry. Don't move. You're badly hurt!"
Harry opened his mouth to speak, but Tonks pressed two fingers against his lips.
"Don't speak Harry. Madam Pomfrey has fixed you up mostly. She just has to get out this glass."
"Madam Pomfrey?" he asked ignoring Tonk's speech about speaking.
"Yes Harry. So how have you been?"
"Oh well I have been good thanks. How have you been?"
"I have been well too thanks dear. I hope you have been enjoying your holidays? You seem to have gotten yourself into some trouble again haven't you?"
"My holidays have been ok. And trouble finds me I think…"
"Of course it does dear."
Harry didn't respond, but closed his eyes as he felt her cool comforting hands move their way down his back. He trembled slightly, as the chill seeped through him. Madam Pomfrey was working her way from top to bottom removing glass. There were cuts, but also wounds with glass embedded in them. Some were small, others were big. Madam Pomfrey was using tweezers like Muggles did, dabbing at each wound when she removed some glass and smearing it with a strong smelling green cream. Harry winced each time she dug into his back. The cuts grew and ripped as the glass was removed and it was not a pleasant experience.
Tonks and Remus had noticed that Madam Pomfrey was avoiding a rather large looking piece of glass embedded in his right shoulder. It was about four centimetres wide and Tonks hoped that it wasn't long. Harry gasped in pain as Madam Pomfrey seized it in the metal clasp of the tweezers and began working it out. She pulled slowly and Harry tried to squirm away from her.
"Hold still Harry!" she commanded. "If you move, you're going to cause yourself more pain."
Remus reached out and grasped one of Harry's hands. He clutched at it firmly, his knuckles white. With one final swift movement, Madam Pomfrey pulled. Harry let out a cry of pain and Remus almost yelped as Harry squeezed the bones of his fingers together tightly.
Madam Pomfrey shook herself as she deposited the six centimetre long piece of glass into the container.
"Don't worry Harry, we're all done," murmured Madam Pomfrey. "Just let me seal these cuts ok?"
Harry nodded feebly.
"You are going to have to remove those pants Harry," said Madam Pomfrey, indicating a place on his thigh where blood was seeping.
"Popular with the ladies aren't you Harry," spoke Remus with a hearty laugh. Harry blushed.
"Unlike Remus," Tonks muttered.
"Hey! That hurts Tonks." Harry grinned, shaking his head at the pair, and pulled his trousers down so that Madam Pomfrey could get to the cut.
Tonks mocked a gasp. "Harry! You had ants in your pants."
Remus rolled his eyes.
"Nice Tonks. Just go ahead and make fun of his boxers."
"Just a scratch," said Madam Pomfrey wiping some cream across it and sealing it up with a touch of her wand. "There," she said, standing up with a clap of her hands. "All done! Now Harry, here is a blood replenishing potion, and I have this potion that will mend up the bones. They will be kind of weak after the breaks. I don't want to have to come see you again over the holidays, ok?"
Harry stood with a groan and looked towards her. Her hair was tied up in a bun, and she wore robes all of white. A small brown coloured bag was in her arms and she closed it with a soft click. She looked well, but tired, as if she had had many late nights and exhausting days.
"Would I do that to you?" he asked innocently, grimacing with pain again as he stretched his blood. He felt a small wave of dizziness pass over him.
"I certainly hope not. If you keep it up you might become my number one patient."
"Thanks Madam Pomfrey, for patching me up. I'll try to stay out of harms way. I promise!"
She smiled. "You're welcome Harry. I'll leave you to clean up, and see you when the new school term starts."
He smiled, and she left.
-
"I broke bones?" he asked.
Remus nodded, making sure he drank down his potions. Harry immediately felt a strong wave of dizziness pass over him and he moaned falling back upon the bed. He closed his eyes and tried to stop the rolling feeling in his stomach. He started counting backwards from one hundred and eventually it passed. He felt his bones tingling as the second potion took effect and a quick sudden pain passed through his finger and foot.
"Yes, a broken finger bone and a fractured ankle," said Remus at last who had been dabbing at Harry's forehead with a wet cloth. Tonks was forcing some cool water into his mouth. He gasped with relief as he felt it pass down his parched throat. She gave him the glass and he gulped down more, as she went searching in his cupboard for new clothes.
"Can you clean yourself up Harry?" she asked throwing some clothes at him. Harry nodded. "I can go use the bathroom I guess."
"The Dursley's wont be a problem will they?" asked Remus. Harry shook his head.
"They have taken Dudley to the movies and out shopping. I guess they will be back before long."
"They haven't been giving you a hard time I hope?" asked Remus, a hint of malice in his voice. Harry smiled at his concern and readiness to defend him.
"I have not had much to do with them. I've stayed up here by myself for days. I pushed the cupboard in front of the door and they just pass food through the slot."
"That would explain the mess and smell…" murmured Tonks absent-mindedly. Harry blushed.
"Yes, well I haven't actually showered or eaten much in days." He indicated an untouched plate of food in the corner. "They will collect it eventually. Not even Hedwig has wanted to stay around me." His voice cracked. "I think she is scared. She sees me like this and she just doesn't like it." He tried to wipe the tears away from his already stained and exhausted face. "I don't want to live like this Remus…" he murmured covering his eyes and trying to hide from them.
"Now, now Harry," said Remus enclosing him in a warm hug. "I don't want to have to see you live like this either. We are going to help you Harry, and I promise, that you will not have to live like this for very much longer. In fact, starting right now, you are going to go shower and have a good meal. That will be the start of a new era for you. By the end of these holidays, you will be leaving normally, treasuring Sirius' memory." Harry smiled feebly, but it was strained. Remus sighed, watching him leave the room. He wanted to change, but he wasn't willing. He could say it, but he definitely did not want to act on those remarks. Tonks pressed a hand gently on his shoulder.
"He will be fine. And you will be too." Remus grinned just as feebly at her and she shook her head. "So alike…" she murmured. "How about we fix up this mess?"
Harry limped back into his room to see Remus and Tonks watching him intently.
"What happened?" he asked, sitting down upon the bed softly.
"I repaired the window," said Tonks with a blush. "And I guess you still had some glass stuck in your heel."
"Well that would explain the sharp tugging pain!" started Harry. Remus grinned.
"Don't worry Tonks, how were you to know? Anyway, this is easy enough to fix."
Remus lifted up Harry's foot and pressed his wand to it. He muttered some quick words, and the cut sealed slowly until the pain vanished. The skin had a soft pink tinge around the healed area, but it was sealed at least. Harry stood and tested it out. He was feeling quite good and refreshed. He had washed long and hard and spent some minutes stretching his stiff muscles. He looked around, his green eyes sparkling.
"You fixed everything!"
Tonks winked at him. "You did quite a number on some of the furniture. And now we have to replace half of your books too."
Harry grinned apologetically. "Sorry about that." Remus was looking him over intently.
"You are feeling ok aren't you?" he asked.
Harry nodded his agreement. "I am wonderful to say the least. A long hot shower can do wonders I think. Thanks for helping me out."
"You're welcome Harry," spoke a relieved Remus. "Just promise me one thing ok? Please, please don't do it again."
Harry nodded, a shining light of agreement showing in his emerald eyes. Tonks was placing the last torn pages into a bag, which she then began to vanish.
"Clean but natural," she said to Harry with a wink, reminding him strongly of last summer. "And I haven't broken a thing as of yet! But as much as I enjoy this pleasant talk, we do have a job to do," she spoke with a meaningful glance at Remus. "You know what we have to talk to you about Harry. We are going to try and make it as easy for you as possible."
"I am thinking clearly at the moment, and what you say is true. I know that much at least. I don't know where to start though, so I will need your help," he pleaded. "Please, let's start before I lose my nerve."
There was a fear in his eyes, and a form of regret that he had to do this. It was very difficult. Looking at Remus, Tonks thought he looked very vulnerable. She remembered what Dumbledore has said. This would be as helpful for Remus as Harry, and she did not doubt that for one second.
Tonks thought carefully about what she should ask, about what information she wanted. She didn't want Harry to just agree with things she said. Everyone can nod their head. She need for him to answer questions, not be told the answers. He had to know he had the answers to the questions he was asking. He just needed some encouragement in finding them.
"OK then Harry. I do not really know how to do this. And I am not sure that Remus does either. But I will try to ask you something, and I beg you to please make this easy on all of us and answer as well as you can ok? My questions might seem strange, but I am not a councillor. I just want to help." She cleared her thought nervously. I need to know why he is grieving she thought. Is it because he misses Sirius, or is it because he is blaming himself and is very upset about it?
"Err…why are you grieving Harry?"
Harry opened his mouth and closed it again. He swallowed and tried once more, but only a small croak emerged from his throat. It was too hard. It was much too difficult. He could not do this.
"How about I tell you my reason?" asked Tonks quietly. She didn't wait for a response. "I am grieving for Sirius, because I miss him. It was a joy to have such an amazing man involved in my life. I will miss his laugh and his joking manner. He knew just how to make you feel comfortable and at home." She felt a slight pang then, of misery. She hid it as best she could and gave Remus a meaningful look. He looked away at first, pretending he hadn't seen it, but then he cleared his throat, and spoke up, his voice rising and falling in pitch.
"Sirius was a great friend. He was amazing and wonderful. You wake to find him in your life, and you would grow to be fond of his presence. He was loyal and trustworthy, sticking to his beliefs and staying close to his friends. He had a miraculous outlook upon life and it was impossible to look at him and not feel cheerful. When he was taken aw…" He swallowed. "When he was taken away, it was a huge loss. Waking to find that he will not be there anymore is probably one of the greatest losses that I will ever come to experience."
Tonks, smiled at him gently, watching a single glistening drop round down each of his cheeks. Harry was looking at him, mouth open slightly, and Tonks felt a jump in her chest. Understand Harry, she thought. Remus needs you, and you need him. He looked around at her and she nodded, giving him a gentle smile, her eyes moistening. When he spoke, he found his voice, though he sounded hollow and lost. But he sounded sure of his words, believing what he was saying without a single doubt or worry or fear.
"Sirius was the closest figure in my life to a father. I felt… elated when he offered me a place under his roof during my third year. I didn't know him, only that he was my Dad's best friend. It seemed, right somehow, just perfect that I would be living with him. His advice has not led me wrong, and I felt closer to him then I have felt to any other person. His advice was sound and I could always depend upon him to help me. Sirius was one of a kind. To have someone like a father, and then lose him just when you think that everything will be alright is the greatest blow I could ever have experienced." He was sobbing uncontrollably, but they still managed to catch each and every one of his words. "I loved him in a way that I thought I would never get to experience. I miss him more then I ever would have guessed."
Remus gently placed a hand upon his shoulder, his own tears falling freely now.
Tonks managed to choke out her next question, feeling terribly guilty for forcing more answers from the two of them.
"And why are you angry?"
Once more Harry paused. He had thought about this but he still wasn't sure of the answer. He thought he knew, but he didn't know for sure. Remus answered first.
"Sirius had to spend twelve years in Azkaban as an innocent man. For those twelve years he was blaming himself for the Potter's death. He died, missing out on so much. He had only just come to find young Harry once more, but was ripped off the chance to spend the time with him that he deserved. That makes me angry. But I am also angry at myself. I asked him to hide away, to not risk being captured again. Now it seems that it was the wrong thing to do."
Harry seemed deep in thought. His eyes were staring down at his feet, his hands clutching the mattress tightly. But he had been listening, and spoke as soon as Remus had stopped, his voice low and quiet.
"I am angry that Sirius had to live his life with the Wizarding community against him and that he had to spend twelve years behind bars of that disgusting place. He was ripped of the wonderful and prosperous life that he deserved, and was refused to defend what he believed in. I feel disgusted at myself, for always putting my needs before his. I was more concerned that he was in my life, then by the fact that he needed freedom and space. I was not the friend to him that my father was, and I feel guilt in that respect."
Remus pulled himself up to Harry, and wrapped his arm around his shoulder, allowing him to cry freely against him.
"Harry, James and Sirius were best friends. Sirius is your godfather, you his godson. The relationship is similar, but still different. You were not expected to behave like James. Sirius was to look after you and play with you. There was supposed to be fun and happiness between you, but never the same strength in the relationship like there as between James and Sirius. And no, that does not mean that Sirius meant more to James then you, or vice versa. Sirius would not want you to feel this way. You must believe that Harry."
Harry did not speak, but he gave Remus' hand a quick squeeze to show he understood. Although he was having problems digesting such information, it did make sense. He guessed that his grief was trying to prevent that information from seeping in. It was taking control of him. Of course, the information would soon strike him firmly. He just had to be patient and wait for that magical and momentous moment to occur.
"Do you wish that you knew something about Sirius, or wish that you had had the chance to tell him something?" asked Tonks slowly. She was quite surprised when she heard Harry's voice speak up first. It seemed stronger, but this time there was a doubt in his words, as if he was not sure how to word his thoughts.
"I sometimes worry that Sirius was never proud of me…" His voice was shrinking almost to a whisper. "Sometimes, I… I wonder if I was a disappointment to him. I never told him just how much he meant to me, how important he was to me. I want him to know. There seems nothing more important to me now than him knowing exactly how much he has influenced and changed my life."
"Sirius could never be more proud of you Harry!" spoke Remus surely. There was a confidence in his voice that caused Harry to move his head from his shoulder and look into his eyes. "Sirius knew how much you cared, how much you loved him. That was why he worried about you so. He was also worried that if something should happen to him, you would do something stupid, or something he thought was stupid, like go and attempt a rescue. I know sometimes it might seem that he was disappointed, but for twelve long years he had to live knowing that his decisions killed his best friend. He was not ready to care for someone. He went into prison when he was still at a joking-around-with-friend's stage. His life stopped when he went in, and started once more when he came out. He tried to resume from where he left off. And I believe he did an amazingly good job of acting the fatherly figure."
"So do I," murmured Harry with a small hint of a smile, obviously remembering some cherished memory. "So do I, but what about you Remus?"
"Me?" He seemed doubtful for a second. "I am not sure what I doubt," he started uncertainly. "I sometimes doubt that I did enough to save Sirius. I sometimes doubt that I was the friend I should have been to him."
"You did all you could," spoke Harry. "Perhaps we both think that we could have done more to save Sirius, like not have kept him so locked up. He might not have been so bitter against Kreacher than..."
"And of course you were the friend Sirius always wanted," spoke Tonks. "You and Harry were the two most important things in his life. Harry said that he could feel Sirius is missing, and although you both didn't have as much time to be with Sirius as you would like, he still knew how much you both meant to him. Like you Harry, you know just how much Ron and Hermione mean to you, and you both know how much you mean to each other."
They smiled at her gratefully. She was doing a wonderful job.
"Why don't you like to speak of Sirius?"
"It hurts," answered Harry uncomfortably with a small twitch. Tonks noticed this.
"Anything else Harry?"
He squirmed and looked around the room as if for inspiration.
"I'm not sure," he spoke slowly, cautiously. "I can't figure it out. I mean Sirius came to rescue me and my friends. He died trying to save us. Why should I not want to talk about him?" He sighed. "I mean I don't think that Sirius would want to be known as some hero, but I am sure that he wouldn't be forgotten."
Tonks looked at him with sympathy.
"Most people don't know the answer to that question. Most will look at a photo, and cry because they remember good times that they and their friends have had. They see that photo and suddenly they realise that they will have no more good times with that person. Talking is similar. Some people will talk and break down, so to avoid that, they try not to talk about it at all. But time will heal as it usually does, and some people believe that the person who has died is not lost forever but is simply waiting for them. Others believe, not in an afterlife but, that there is nothing after death, which means that fear and anger and happiness do not exist. They can accept that the person has passed on and no longer has to feel the pains that life can bring."
"Do you think that Sirius has anything to look forward to in death?" asked Remus uncertainly.
"Perhaps… Perhaps he will get to see James again. Perhaps he will not have to live knowing that the world is against him."
Remus nodded. "Perhaps he will not have to worry about the war with Voldemort any longer."
"Who do you blame for his death?" asked Tonks. She had a strange feeling that there would be much guilt involved with the answering of this question. But she felt terrible for having to ask it. She could never know if she was helping things or just making everything so much worse. Harry looked at Remus, who shrugged. There was, however, a look of pain upon his face.
"I am not sure. Myself for small things I guess but I guess that many are blaming themselves in certain ways. It doesn't seem important to me. Sirius died, and blaming is going to do very little to console me."
"I…agree in a w-way," stuttered Harry. "But I still think that you can feel better if you blame other people. You take the guilt from yourself and place it alongside someone else, convincing yourself that it is their entire fault, and that it has nothing whatsoever to do with you. I am blaming myself, Dumbledore, Snape, Kreacher, Bellatrix and Voldemort."
"That is a lot of people!" exclaimed a shocked Tonks. "Why?"
"I am blaming myself for not studying Occlumency harder. I am blaming Dumbledore for keeping Sirius locked up in an effort to keep him safe. Snape is to blame for not being the most helpful man alive during Occlumency and for provoking Sirius. Kreacher is to blame of course for betraying Sirius to the Malfoy's. Bellatrix obviously as she sent the curse at Sirius, and Voldemort, for using Sirius to draw me to the Department of Mysteries."
Remus looked at him strangely. "I don't think you can really blame Snape or Kreacher or Voldemort. Snape taught you, and if you didn't learn that is not Snape's fault. You can't blame yourself and Snape. It is because you didn't know Occlumency that Voldemort was able to exploit you, and Kreacher was technically following an order, even if it was not meant to be so. I am sorry if this sounds harsh to you Harry. You wouldn't believe how guilty I feel talking to you like this. But if we are going to blame all our problems on other people, then we won't learn much throughout our lives. It is through learning from our mistakes that we become better people, and that just won't happen if we make our problems, other people's problems. I really am sorry."
Harry shrugged uncomfortably. He knew that what Dumbledore had said was true, and so was what Remus had just said. Snape had taught him, and he hadn't learnt. He could have consulted books if he didn't like the way Snape did it, and he could have at least tried to do what Snape asked. 'The door opens both ways,' he thought. 'I didn't learn when I could have. I can't expect to have every person treat me right. No one can really. Life doesn't work like that.' He could blame Snape for provoking Sirius, but had Dumbledore been telling the truth about that too? Had Sirius let it slide? Harry remembered the downcast look on Sirius' face, but he doubted that Sirius had come to save him to prove Snape wrong. Harry had to believe that Sirius was there to do the right thing. To rescue he and his friends. He had to believe it. He knew what his father had done to Snape. Not too mention what Sirius had done. He squirmed guiltily at these thoughts about Sirius. He groaned to himself when he thought that he wasn't helping. Snape had found him with his wand pointed at Malfoy last year; it would have looked most similar to him. And as much as he hated to admit it, hadn't Snape checked with headquarters to see if Sirius was ok? He hadn't ignored Harry's warning, and after that he had even tried to discover what had happened to Harry. Harry knew he had felt pleasure at blaming it all on Snape, but he guessed that he had just been taking the blame away from himself. He knew he usually felt better when he told someone about what was bothering him, and blaming Snape must have taken away some of that guilt, but yet he had hated Snape so much at the end of last year.
"I understand Remus," he murmured, not being able to help a tear dripping from his face. He bowed his head, refusing to meet Remus' or Tonk's eyes. "I guess I shouldn't really blame Snape after what they did to him." He shuddered again at accusing his two dead fatherly figures. He felt Remus' arms around him.
"I know what it is like Harry, accusing the dead. I made a joke that involved Sirius just last week and I felt quite guilty after saying it. Don't worry Harry. They won't mind. They love you too much. I know what we did to Snape was wrong, and I am sure that they do to, even if they won't admit it. It has crossed my mind that it might have been the way Snape was treated that caused him to go to the Dark side."
Harry was surprised that he was beginning to cope with constant mention of Sirius. The tears were becoming less and less and he felt like he had just achieved some form of small, yet important victory. He was gaining control over himself once more. He felt as if someone had just lifted a heavy blanket from over his mind, but his face felt sore and irritated from crying. He looked over at Tonks. She was looking at him intently.
"What was going on in you head then Harry?" she asked.
Harry squirmed again and Remus released him. "I've been blaming Snape to get over my own guilt. And he has walked in on moments when I have been acting like my father did to him. I guess I can't be surprised that Snape isn't exactly kind to me."
Tonks nodded. "Well Harry, each of us makes mistakes, and not a one of us is perfect. But you can learn from what you've done wrong and try to improve the type of person you are. But I doubt that you need to change very much. You are quite an amazing young man, and I am sure that you had a reason for cursing or threatening someone in front of Snape. Still… I don't exactly think that Snape would make the best of friends… Don't worry about it. But although we have just talked extensively about Sirius, you must still expect to feel upset. Some days you will wake up and feel terrible, some times you will come to a place and receive some strong memory of your godfather and maybe break down. But time heals everything, and you will soon come to see that you did everything you could. And Remus here will definitely be there to help you. Don't worry about a thing ok? I hope you are feeling a little better though. It is getting late."
Harry nodded and smiled. He did feel better.
"What about you Remus?" asked Tonks looking at him with a smile.
"The best I've been since he died Tonks. You did quite an amazing job."
"Why thankyou! And if there is anything more that either of you would like to discuss, just feel free to ask. In the mean time, try and think about the good things you have done with Sirius. Eventually you should be able to remember those things with happiness and pride, which will honour Sirius' memory. Of course that could take time so you may want to do it when you're alone or with some one who you don't mind seeing you cry. Of course this is just the way I would do it. I don't expect you to listen to me. We all deal with death differently. Anyway, that's enough of that. We should all get some sleep. Tomorrow we have quite a big day. Harry, we are here to take you on a little trip. Get you out of this house if you will. We are going to Diagon Alley, just the three of us."
"Diagon Alley?" he questioned. Tonks heard the worry in his voice.
"No don't worry. I'm serious. It will just be the three of us. And yes, Diagon Alley is quite safe. The place is being watched very carefully at the moment. It has weaknesses, but it also has strengths. And here, this is a sweet from Fred and George that will change your appearance for half an hour. Before the end of each half hour, take another sweet and you will not have any problems. No one will be able to recognise you or cancel the effects of the spell. You will resemble a different person until the effect wears off. Take it tomorrow morning before we leave."
Tonks and Remus stood, stretching slowly. Remus conjured up some mattresses and bedding for Tonks and himself, before conjuring up some iced water for Harry to drink. Tonks and Remus talked extensively to Harry about what had been occurring since the end of the school term. Well there was actually very little to tell. Voldemort had of course been hiding after the loss of Death Eaters and such. The Order had mainly been readying defences and help Fudge prepare the Ministry fore more attacks. Harry was pleased that they were discussing certain topics with him. Tonks was first to slip off to sleep, Harry following soon after. Remus sighed when he realised he was talking to himself. He gave a yawn and looked over towards Harry in his bed. A smile crept across his face as he realised that he and Harry had most probably been through the worst of it. He fell asleep, welcoming the dreams of their new home. Harry and he were sitting side by side on a leafy green lawn, laughing and drinking to their hearts content…
-
The next morning dawned bright and sunny. Harry woke to quiet whispers and the sound of a raging television downstairs. Obviously the Dursley's had arrived home late last night. He looked towards the window, catching a glimpse of a deep blue sky. A bird flew past, letting out a shrill call as it headed for the next-door-neighbours flowering trees. Harry propped himself up against his pillow, causing Tonks and Remus to look over at him from his desk where they were talking. Remus had donned on some dark blue robes, Tonks a deep cream. She threw some of his own black robes towards him, catching him in the head.
"Hey!" he called with a laugh tossing his pillow towards them and knocking the lamp from his desk. The stairs creaked, Harry groaned, and the door shuddered.
"Boy! What do you think you're doing in there!"
"We'll handle this!" whispered Tonks transforming her clothes into professional looking office wear. Remus followed suit. Tonk's green hair shrunk and hung around her shoulders. It was a heavy shade of brown that reminded Harry of the dark brown shoe polish his Uncle used. It was heavily lined with blonde streaks. She winked at Harry.
"This is my natural hair colour, well not the streaks, but the brown. I put streaks in a few years ago and have kept it like that." Harry smiled at her.
"I like it. You look great."
"Why thank you Mr Potter!"
Remus turned and smiled. "If you two are done flirting let's get underway."
Tonks and Harry scowled at him and he tried not to laugh as he opened the door.
"Good morning!" spoke Remus thrusting out his hand. Tonks had slicked back his hair with a tap of her wand. He reminded Harry of an older, brown-haired Draco Malfoy. "We are teachers from the boy's school. We are here to take him out and teach him a thing or two about manners."
"Really?" asked Uncle Vernon, his face was splitting into a wide grin of approval. "Excellent! But what was that noise? Disciplining are we?"
"Err…" searched Remus slowly. "We prefer to say that he tripped over his own feet."
"Oh of course," said Uncle Vernon. "I bet some people must be discrete. Well you are better then most kinds of err… you-know, but if I get one waft of err…magic," he whispered looking around as if someone was watching, "straight into the bad books you go! Understand?"
"You have made yourself crystal clear! Hurry up boy!" Remus snarled at Harry strolling past Uncle Vernon.
"Yes sir!" said Harry smartly trying not to laugh. He followed close behind. Remus could just have pointed his wand at Uncle Vernon and taken Harry out, but this seemed much more fun. Wizards pointed their wands at people all the time. This was much more interesting. Besides being in Uncle Vernon's good books could have its advantages. Uncle Vernon wasn't likely to bow down to a wizard even if they did point their wand at him.
They walked out the front door and when they finally reached Mrs Figg's house they just burst out laughing.
"That was great!" said Harry.
Tonks and Remus grinned at him and changed their appearances back. Harry slipped the robes, which he had been carrying in his arms, over his baggy clothing. When his head emerged, it was still plastered with a gleeful smile.
"So Harry," spoke Remus through a laugh. "Let's go spend a day at Diagon Alley. Oh and guess what? We're travelling by your favourite magical method!"
Harry groaned. "Floo powder?"
"Right in one," Remus laughed, "Right in one." Tonks giggled.
Harry shook his head and followed the two towards the fireplace.
"Have fun Harry!" called Mrs Figg from the stairs as he popped a sweet into his mouth. He grinned at her and gave a quick wave.
He felt, different somehow. Lighter in a way. Like an autumn leaf finally loosing itself from the confines of something great and firm and strong. It slowly spins and twirls making a path for itself, falling. The wind catches it and it hovers downwards, floating upon the crystal clutches of a lake, the ripples growing and then slowly receding into nothingness. He felt free. He felt clean.
-
