Series: Saiyuki

Author: Zelgadis55

Character chat: Diva Urd and Zelgadis55

Rating: R (for an earlier chapter)

Disclaimer: Saiyuki is owned by Kazuya Minekura and the various people who own the rights to the anime and manga. The only rights I have are those allowing me to buy copies of the manga and DVDs those holding the rights have released…

Warnings: Language and some random Omake insanity at the end of the chapter. Oh and you might want to bring some sick bags for she's baaack and with new victims…

Kanzeon: "Oh, is it omake-time already? Should I dress up for the occasion?"

Zell: (grins) Why not, let's make formal dress a requirement.

Kanzeon: (chuckles) Not that we didn't determine that our friends would have to meet certain... dress requirements to begin with...

Zell: (laughs) Yes. Don't tell them this but I am so looking forward to seeing your idea come to fruition.

Kanzeon: (lips twitching) Oh, don't worry, I won't - that would spoil the look on their faces once they DO learn...

Zell: You do know that Sanzo isn't going to co-operate... don't you?

Kanzeon: Oh...? You should know me by now, Zell. I get what I want. I have ways.

Zell: (grins) Great! I look forward to working with you then.

Kanzeon: (grins as well) My pleasure, my dear. (vanishes)

Zell: (laughs and walks away)

A/N: As promised, this chapter is extra long at almost 5000 words and then, there is the Omake on top of that.

Hage Sanzo – baldy Sanzo (Hage being literally baldness)

- . - . -

Gojyo and Mary-Sue

Pt 20

"This is ridiculous, Sanzo. Surely you cannot mean it." Hakkai protested. His tone was calm and polite.

"In the cockroach's state of mind, he could get us all killed." The monk stated, a twitch forming due to the argument that Hakkai so foolishly chose to insist on.

"Given time, Gojyo will get through this. Please Sanzo let him have the time he needs."

"I will make this clear for you, Hakkai. A succubus took a full hold of the kappa's senses; complete and total control of him. He will never be the same. You saw for yourself, she was beginning her final feed. He gave himself over to her. It's a miracle the cockroach is even alive."

"But Gojyo turned on her to save Hakuryu and myself." Hakkai interjected.

Sanzo ignored the healer and continued speaking, "All he can think about is that succubus. His mind keeps wandering back to her even though she's dead. You won't tell me just what is going on but let me take a guess. All those words she whispered to the cockroach keep running through his mind. It's so real to him that he thinks it's happening now. Am I right?"

Hakkai didn't answer so Sanzo asked another question. "Or… are you sure she's dead?"

"Of course she is. I checked myself. There was no heartbeat, she was no longer breathing. I sincerely doubt anyone would continue to live with a wound like that, not even a god."

The monk nodded. "From what I've read, succubuses are difficult to kill."

"Why's that?" Goku piped up curiously.

Sanzo spared the slightest of glances toward the saru before refocusing his violet gaze back on the healer. "From what few reports exist, when wounded, a succubus can self heal or regenerate itself."

"That'd be a cool power to have." Goku said, his voice filled with awe.

The monk snorted, "Only if your desire is to become an old crone. It uses up life energy, a lot of it."

"Oh," Goku said, "wouldn't want to have to use it then."

"But… if you have a way to replace the energy used…" Hakkai said slowly. "That would explain why she looked a few years older after Hakuryu burned her. If she somehow managed to regenerate from those injuries… how old would she look now?" The healer locked eyes with the monk as he posed the question. A moment later, the memory of startling green eyes pushed its way into his mind and Hakkai was suddenly running for the stairs. Hakuryu, Goku and even Sanzo, closely followed behind him.

His mind almost numb with worry for the man he loved, Hakkai threw open the door to his and Gojyo's room and ran inside, Goku and Sanzo pushing in behind him. The sight that greeted the healer's gaze only served to confirm his worst fears.

Gojyo…

Seemingly asleep on the bed…

The old woman Gojyo had passed on his way up to the room leaning over him…

She spoke softly in an old though still very sweet sounding voice but Hakkai didn't hear the words she spoke and somehow didn't care. It felt as though his heart had leapt into his throat and he was too busy trying not to gag on the feeling as he attempted to regain his inner calm.

Gojyo opened his eyes, looking straight up into the succubus's gaze. His eyes already looked blank but Hakkai could see a little of the remaining will to fight though it was draining fast as she leaned down to draw strength from a life-stealing kiss.

"Ew!" Goku cried out in his best 'I'm going to annoy the crap out of Gojyo' tone. "Gojyo's dating his grandmother!"

Hakkai heard a faint snort from Sanzo, as if he was trying to smother amusement. Gojyo's head turned toward them suddenly, recognition dawning as his and Hakkai's eyes met.

Gojyo turned a lazy grin back to Sue, "Sorry sweetheart but like I told you in my dreams, I don't do cadavers."

Sue started slightly before a glare covered her face. "I am not dead and I don't recall giving you a choice." She reached out her hands to the shoulders of the rising kappa and pushed him back down, sapping his strength with her mere touch.

Gojyo fought to rise but being in physical contact with the succubus ensured it to be a futile act.

"I have never had such a rude date before in all my two hundred years."

"I think you meant great-great-great-great grandmother, Goku." Sanzo deadpanned.

Goku nodded eagerly, "Yeah. I know you're supposed to respect your elders and all…" Raising his voice a little, the saru made sure Sue heard him clearly, "sorry, great-great-great-great elders but…"

Sue twitched.

Hakkai smiled, raising his volume also. After all, he didn't want to be so rude as to speak too quietly for the elderly to hear him properly. "Though there are some people who do not deserve the respect Goku, their age still requires that you at least appear to give them their due respect."

A withering glare flew their way. "Will you stay out of this? I am trying to tell a bad date how he should treat a girl." She turned back to Gojyo, "You know, I've always wanted to try breakfast in bed but I missed out on breakfast, both yesterday and this morning."

Gojyo shrugged weakly, "What can I say? I'm a one-night stand kinda guy. I'm always gone in the morning."

"But you left before we could even consummate our relationship." Sue pouted, "It's obvious that for the first time ever, I have actually completely lost my willing dinner date. No matter, I still lay claim to you and I'll take what I can get." The old woman leaned down and began to kiss Gojyo.

The on-lookers could see a faint distortion of energy tendrils begin to make their way from their friend, heading toward Sue. Gojyo redoubled his efforts to push her away but with that strength sapping touch having turned into a full-on energy drain, he felt himself becoming much weaker, far too fast and desperation began to kick in.

Goku cried out, "Nyoi-bou!" as he summoned his staff. Hakkai ran to Gojyo's aid only to hear Goku shout out, "You can't touch her, remember? Nyoi-bou, grow longer!"

Weakened by Sue, Gojyo knew his efforts of fighting back were futile but he wasn't about to give up so instead, he changed tactics. Based on his experience with Sue and his vast experience with other women, the kappa decided to tickle her instead.

Sue gasped and began squirming away from her victim even as Goku swept nyoi-bou toward her. Hakkai ducked the lengthened weapon just in time for Goku to slam it into the succubus and send her flying away from the almost helpless Gojyo. Sue landed hard against the wall, accompanied by a sickening snapping sound. As she slid down the wall, she concentrated, doing her best to heal herself as fast as possible, all the while knowing that the faster she regenerated, the more her precious life energy would go to waste. The succubus knew however, that this time there would be no second chances. If she couldn't defeat her enemy and claim her prize or somehow escape, she would die and that would be that.

Once Sue was knocked away from Gojyo, Hakkai took the opportunity to reach the hanyou's side and help him sit up. Gojyo looked awful, he appeared as though he barely had enough strength to even be awake, let alone sit up but still he turned and flashed a cocky grin at the healer.

"Thanks. Don't worry, 'kay? When I get some sleep, I'll be fine."

Hakkai nodded, "Of course you will." He replied concealing his worry with what he hoped was a soothing smile and a gentle tone. "We will take care of her Gojyo, permanently this time."

No longer able to keep them open, Gojyo's eyes slid closed and the healer gently laid his dear friend back on the bed, before standing, a hard look on his face. Those who didn't know him well would have a difficult time recognizing the usually pleasant natured, pleasant featured young man. Those who knew him and knew what he was capable of while wearing that expression, felt a chill pass down their spines and Sue… Sue was the recipient of that fearful gaze. She did not know him well, nor did he fool her by any previous pleasantries. Either way, the look currently filling Hakkai's face scared her, more so than any tales of Sanzo and his gun previously had. Only half healed, Sue ran. Smashing the window before her by throwing a bedside lamp toward it, the succubus jumped through.

Healer and saru gave chase, jumping through the window after Sue. They landed and in the dark, there was no sign of her. Somehow, even though her body was now very old and she was injured, Sue had still managed to disappear into the night. The two pursuers exchanged brief, hurried looks and split off to search for the succubus.

"Hakuryu," Hakkai called, "will you please help search from the air?"

"Kyuuu!" the little white dragon cried in agreement, launching himself from the window above.

"If you find her, come get me. I don't want you getting hurt."

"Kyu kyuu!" Hakuryu wheeled off in midair as Hakkai began searching in the direction opposite to that in which Goku ran.

About a minute after all three searchers were out of sight, a shadow peeled itself slowly from behind a couple of small bushes nearby. A faint sigh of relief could have been heard had anybody been near enough to hear it and the old woman, now even older in appearance than only a few minutes previously, hobbled towards the door of the inn, leaning heavily against the building for support.

A young couple exited the inn at that moment, laughing quietly at private jokes and sweet nothings.

"Please…" Sue called weakly in an old and dry voice, "Please, will you help an old woman?"

The couple looked at each other in bewilderment but when Sue collapsed to the ground moments later, they rushed to her aid.

"Are you alright?" The young lady asked, her concern clear in her voice. "What happened to you?"

Sue closed her eyes tiredly. After all the injuries she had received, the energy she had wasted in self-healing and the fact that it was well past her time for feeding, by a good couple of days, she was beyond tired. She couldn't keep this up much longer. "Please… I need…"

"What do you need?" The young man asked worriedly.

"Meal…" Sue whispered weakly.

"Me?" He asked in confusion, not having heard her properly. "What about…"

"Ikenie, we've got to help the poor old woman." His girlfriend interrupted anxiously.

Ikenie nodded and reached for Sue. Sue looked into his eyes, her gaze seeming to glitter in the darkness. "Will you help me?"

"Of course." Ikenie nodded.

"Will you give me what I need?"

"If I can, yes." He helped Sue to her feet and received a chilling smile in return as she swiftly began to drain his life energy.

"What… what are you doing?" Ikenie cried out with sudden fright as he felt himself growing steadily weaker, the years speeding up for him physically. "Let go of me!" He tried desperately to break from Sue's death grip but to no avail.

Ikenie's girlfriend looked on, too horrified over what was happening to react. She could only stare as her beloved fell victim to the succubus in front of her, his skin aging and obviously growing weaker by the second. Within minutes, her boyfriend looked as if he was well over a hundred years old and then, he dropped, an expression of fear filling his face and the whites of his eyes showing. She was transfixed with horror for a few more moments before she could finally lift her gaze to meet the old woman's eyes. Then, the younger woman screamed and screamed and screamed.

Sue tutted in annoyance as she looked at her hands and arms. She didn't have a mirror handy but the succubus was always in tune with and aware of her body. She knew she still looked about seventy. "This is why I hate an unprepared meal." She muttered. With a prepared victim, she could regain her youth completely, day for day of whatever life energy he had for the taking. An unprepared meal ensured that much of the precious energy went to waste. Sue lifted her gaze from her arms to stare at the terrified woman in front of her. In theory, she could easily take her life's energy as well but there were two problems with that. One, she loathed consuming everything that women had to offer, somehow it just did not feel right to her and two, all of this screaming was bound to attract attention. With two pursuers out there that she knew of, Sue was surprised that no one had yet arrived. The succubus decided she better hightail it away from there.

- . - . -

Sanzo was still standing in Gojyo's room, gun withdrawn when Ikenie's girlfriend began screaming. He ran to the smashed window, looking out. The monk couldn't see what the commotion was, nor did he need to try very hard to guess. 'It's near the entrance of the inn.' He thought as he turned away from the window. Sanzo saw Gojyo, having woken from the sounds of terror emitted by the screaming woman, propping himself on his elbow with difficulty, looking up at him expectantly.

"Did you see her?" The kappa asked, struggling to a sitting position.

"No," Sanzo answered shortly, "stay here."

"But…"

"Don't make me shoot you. I don't need to baby-sit a liability." Sanzo hurriedly exited the room.

Gojyo stared after the departed monk and then determined, he struggled past his fatigue and managed to get to his feet. "I won't… let her get away. Ah, I can't believe I ever fell for someone as fake as her."

As he left the room, the kappa debated whether to summon shakujou or not. He felt better than he had before but the energy Sue had managed to steal still left him extremely tired, add on top of that, the last couple of days and he wasn't sure if he summoning his weapon was the best of ideas right now. Under normal circumstances, the energy and concentration required for summoning shakujou was negligible, like breathing. However when tired and barely able to even stand, summoning a weapon was like trying to sprint up a tall, steep hill, not impossible but certainly extremely difficult and tiring. Gojyo didn't really think he could afford the extra strain. He admitted to himself that Sanzo was actually right, he should have stayed in bed but if it turned out there was anything he could do to stop Sue, Gojyo did not want to be denied the opportunity and so he left, without summoning shakujou.

- . - . -

Sanzo reached reception quite quickly and though it was late, there were still a lot of people about. They were milling around just out the door, making it difficult for the monk to get past. He gritted his teeth, annoyed at both the inconvenience and the general confused babble.

After struggling to get through the crowd and ending up nowhere, Sanzo pointed his Smith and Wesson towards the sky, pulling the trigger twice. The resulting gunshots scattered those close by him.

Just before reaching the stairs, the screaming woman had fallen silent and now, Sanzo could see why. She had screamed so hard and long that she had finally fainted. A metre and a half from where she lay was the reason why. 'Her boyfriend.' Sanzo assumed correctly. Besides his knowledge of a succubus running around nearby, there were a few other things giving away this apparent old man's youth. Style of dress, old features with the distinct lack of the character lines normally associated with someone who has lived a full life and the fact that his head was still covered in rich, brown hair.

"Did anyone see where the woman responsible for this went?" Sanzo asked abruptly.

This question caused a momentary silence before a frenzied murmuring began. Several of the men in the crowd deliberately moved away from the woman, eyeing them suspiciously, as they did.

Sanzo scowled. This was one of the reasons he hated having to deal with people, their stupidity. They were obviously going to be of no help so the monk decided to ignore them.

A vaguely amused voice spoke up, "Aren't you going to repair the damage you just caused, Sanzo?"

"Che! Idiot!" Sanzo replied. "You let her escape." He observed flatly.

Hakkai nodded, "She had disappeared by the time Goku and I reached the ground.

Goku stepped through the crowd and Sanzo spoke, "You're here, about time."

"Sanzo?"

"You and Hakkai keep searching. She has to be around here somewhere. I'm going back to keep an eye on that idiot kappa. Even if he somehow miraculously broke completely free of her, she will not want to let this insult to her record go unpunished and if she pushes in just the right way, that succubus might still win him back." Without waiting for any reply or argument, Sanzo stalked back into the inn.

"Goku…" Hakkai began.

"Yeah?"

"Sue has fed, that means she may look different again, younger. She also has the ability to alter her appearance so be careful." Hakkai warned.

Goku nodded, "Don't worry, she won't fool me."

"How do you mean, Goku?" The healer asked, perplexed.

"I don't know," he shrugged, "it's like, well, I didn't realise at first but something bugged me about her from the start. I think she must've known that too and that's why she let her act slip around me at bit. It's hard to explain…"

Hakkai nodded patiently, even though he was desperate to find the succubus before she could try to hurt Gojyo or anyone else again.

"…but it's like she's… like she doesn't fit in with nature or something. Does that make sense?" The teenager screwed up his face a little at his own explanation.

Hakkai smiled, "It does. Does that mean you can track her down?"

Goku shook his head. "She doesn't stand out that much, only when I'm really close to her or when she's attacking someone. It was when I saw him," Goku motioned toward the body of Ikenie, "that I realised what that feeling was."

Hakkai nodded again. "Then still be careful." He began to stride away, searching intently though the dwindling remains of the crowd that began to dissipating once the local authorities arrived.

"Hakkai?" Goku called. When the healer paused to look back, the saru continued speaking. "She's doing it again."

- . - . -

Gojyo was feeling disgusted with himself for the progress he was making but dammit, he felt so tired. He briefly contemplated heading back to bed but the last thing he wanted, was to prove the bouzu right so he persevered onwards. Finally, the redhead reached the top of the stairs when a sound back down the hallway caught his attention. He paused, looking back, there was nothing there... Gojyo shook his head and stepped down the first step. He suddenly spun, whipping his hair as he turned. 'There it is again.' The kappa thought, pushing back his fatigue as best he could and running back up the hallway. As he neared the other end, Gojyo saw a door slightly ajar and he heard a voice, a sweet voice so sweet it made him shudder, come from inside.

"There is no point in trying to struggle; this will be over in a minute. Oh," a giggle, "but don't fret so, much of your life's energy may be going to waste but the bit that doesn't will go towards restoring and preserving my beauty and vitality. Isn't that wonderful?"

Gojyo carefully opened the door more and stepped inside.

"In a way, your legacy will last for the entirety of my life, how many others can claim the same?" In front of him, Sue giggled again. It was a sound like tinkling music. "Actually, quite a few people can, just not the majority of them."

In horror, Gojyo stared as the old man in front of Sue shuddered and breathed his last. He would have been too late to help the poor guy even if he had reacted instantly upon entering the room. At last, Gojyo found his voice. "That's what you were going to do to me?"

Sue turned. Now she looked about sixty. Her face lit up happily, as she took in the sight of Gojyo only metres in front of her. He looked mad and also as if he was about to be sick.

"That's what you do to people? Not only do you steal their life but you leave them so their own families wouldn't even recognise them?" Gojyo was so angry now that his voice was beginning to choke up.

The succubus glanced back at the empty shell that once housed her most recent meal. "This thing?" she laughed in amusement. "If his family cannot recognise him looking old then maybe he's better off like this, it will save him a lot of misery in the long run. Though if I could have consumed you before your mind broke free from me, you would not have ended up like that. I would have drained you of every last drop of energy. You would have become emaciated and so dry of life that a simple breeze or even just being touched would disintegrate what was left of your paper-thin flesh. Only bones would have remained and even they would have been brittle and crumpled to dust easily."

Gojyo swallowed, not quite trusting himself to speak at that point.

Sue looked sharply up at the kappa and with an admiring tone she added, "It's unbelievable, I've never had anyone fight back the way you did, you truly were mine, you know. It should have been impossible to break free of my control at that point and yet… you managed to do it, for him. If I was willing to accept defeat, I would wish you and that bastard Hakkai all the happiness in the world but…" she smiled nastily.

Gojyo blinked, his sudden confusion overriding his anger, "Huh? Me and Hakkai? What the hell are you talking about?"

The succubus stared, surprise preventing her from finishing what she had been about to say, "You mean… you aren't together?" she laughed suddenly in realisation, "I don't believe this! I was defeated by your feelings for him and you aren't even aware of them? This is priceless and a little humiliating." Sue laughed harder in her disbelief. Finally she stopped.

"It's a pity for you that you caused me to need to use my life-force to heal from near death. You made me old! You need to pay me back with your own life; it's your only way out now, Gojyo."

"It'll take more than you to beat me, Sue." Gojyo replied, his hand outstretched to summon shakujou. For a fleeting moment, his mind flashed back to his dream from the previous day, specifically to the point where he wasn't able to summon his weapon no matter how hard he tried but he dismissed the memory and summoned shakujou. In Gojyo's current exhausted state, it was almost more than he could handle but he was nothing if not stubborn and refused to let the succubus see just how weak he really felt.

Sue smiled, "Your mind may be your own again dear Gojyo but I wonder if I still have any influence. I'm betting I still do," she mused, "what do you think?"

Gojyo smirked, "Only about the same amount of influence as any other chick who has intentions of killing me."

"And yet, you have yet to swing that weapon at me." Sue laughed, "I think I may have more influence than you realise, at least enough to stop you from killing me."

Feeling a surge of annoyance as he realised she was at least partly right, Gojyo forced himself to move. Unfortunately, there was not enough space in the small room for Gojyo to make full use of shakujou. On the other hand, that also made it difficult for Sue to get near him.

The succubus was quite spry for a two hundred year old with the appearance of a sixty year old as she proved by easily dodging the kappa's limited swings and thrust of shakujou. Gojyo swore, wishing there was more room so he could make full use of the weapon born of his youkai heritage, not to mention that he wasn't so damned tired right now. The redhead stepped further into the room, slicing the crescent at his would-be black widow. She smiled sweetly and infuriatingly at him with perfect teeth in her now wrinkled face as she neatly side and backwards stepped to just out of range. The kappa knew she was deliberately taunting him and that knowledge was helping to make him angry and therefore careless. However, he also knew her taunting was, for her, like a double-edged sword. It was also energizing him and his stubbornness.

The kappa let fly with a barrage of slices and lunges of shakujou's blade, that due to his extreme weariness, was still slow enough for her to dodge and left him shortly after, leaning against the wall, unable to support himself any further.

Sue smiled. It was a smile both deadly and full of smug satisfaction as she took advantage of her meal's weakness, slipping past the now useless shakujou. It hung limply in Gojyo's grasp, though he desperately attempted to lift the weapon in self-defence again. It was too late however, as she was now suddenly beside him.

BANG! A gunshot rang out, slamming into the head of the succubus and instantly, she fell. Gojyo struggled to turn his head and look up into the unimpressed gaze of his violet-eyed saviour and promptly slid down the wall, where the floor caught him.

"Idiot cockroach! I thought I told you to stay where you were."

Gojyo grinned, "I've never let a man tell me what to do in the bedroom before and even a beauty like you wouldn't be the first." Gojyo struggled to push himself to his feet again. "Is she finally dead this time?"

Sanzo snorted, "I put a bullet through her brain, what do you think? Idiot."

"That's what I thought." Gojyo muttered, not sure whether or not to be convinced.

Hakkai and Goku suddenly appeared behind Sanzo, the former trying to hide an almost frantic expression. "Gojyo!" he cried in relief, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah man," Gojyo smiled, happier to see Hakkai than he thought he would have been, "I'll be fine… when I get some serious sleep."

In an instant, Hakkai was beside Gojyo, helping the kappa to continue standing. The intense concern filling his friend's eyes at that moment made Gojyo wonder just how he could have missed it before, especially with knowing just how worried Hakkai had been about him of late.

"Come on; let's get you back to bed." Hakkai said softly. "I don't want anything else preventing you from gaining your health back again."

Gojyo wanted to protest but there was something in that tone that made him unable to. Besides, he was so damn tired that he didn't think he could have protested even if he had tried.

The four men walked out of the room, monk and saru in front, healer and kappa behind when something made Gojyo look back.

She was now ancient and decrepit once more and there was a murderous intent filling her eyes like that which he had never seen before but somehow, she had risen again and was almost upon them. Finding a hidden strength he didn't know he had remaining, Gojyo reacted instantly.

He pulled away from Hakkai, pivoting on his feet and swinging shakujou up to cut sideways with one last slash. Next thing Gojyo and Hakkai saw was Sue's head landing several feet away with a wet splotch. Gojyo felt like a huge weight lifted from his mind and then… that was the last he knew.

To be concluded

- . - . -

A/N: Thank you to everyone that has read this story and especially to those that have commented. Review responses are in my Profile until two further posts have been made. Chapter 21, the final one, ties a few things up (grins) and no, for the perverts out there, I don't mean that any of the boys ends up tied up, sorry to disappoint.

- . - . -

And in the grand tradition of the omake, here is something a little offbeat and not at all to be taken seriously. May I rest in peace once Sanzo is through with me…

OMAKE

Zell walks into a cramped dressing room with an evil gleam in her eyes. Clapping her hands twice for attention, she says, "Right guys, it's Showtime."

Sanzo glares furiously, "There is no fucking way you are getting me onstage in that costume!"

Hakkai laughs nervously, "Ah but Sanzo, this is meant to be a celebration for Mary-Sue finally being dead. A way for us to relax and have some fun after everything we have been through."

"I am not doing it!"

"Aww, the poor little ohime-sama doesn't want to sing and dance in public?" Gojyo teases, flirting with a death wish.

"Fucking say that again." Sanzo growls in warning as he aims his gun between the kappa's crimson eyes.

Gojyo laughs again and holds his hands up in defeat, backing off.

"Come on Sanzo." Goku pleads, his golden eyes wide. "You might even have fun."

Sanzo spares Goku a withering stare before striding angrily to the door.

Zell steps in front, blocking the irate monk's path. "I don't think so, participation is mandatory." She smiles at his obvious displeasure. "Besides, there is no other way out. This door leads directly to the stage. Now, put on your costume for all the good little fan girls out there."

"Go to hell!" Sanzo snaps furiously. "I am not doing this and there is no way anybody can make me."

Raising her eyebrows, Zell asks, "Really? All of this was a special request you realise. You just can't disappoint her… him… it."

"Watch me. Now get out of my way!" Sanzo pushes his way past, knocking Zell into the side of the door and steps through. A bright blaze of light flashes and moments afterwards, Sanzo turns tail and runs back into the dressing room, his face bright red as he realises his clothing is altered around him. However, whether the colour is from embarrassment or anger, nobody is quite sure.

After getting his breathing back under control, Sanzo opens his mouth to speak. He is cut off by the uncontrolled laughter of his three travelling companions. There is a thud as Gojyo, unable to remain standing, hits the floor, heaving with mirth.

"What the hell are you idiots laughing about? You're wearing this crap too!" Sanzo explodes in fury.

Gasping for breath, the kappa answers, "Yeah… but… that leotard and those feathers… the coat tails and… and sequins…" Gojyo's laughter reaches the point where he can't speak anymore so Hakkai takes over.

"That outfit… it suits you so… beautifully. The colour matches your eyes." He gasps through his laughter.

Sanzo's gaze lights briefly on Goku, who due to his laughter is beyond speaking in the first place. A momentary flash of betrayal passes through his eyes before he hisses, "You will all die for this." The pissy blond turns to Zell, "But you, you will die slowly!"

Zell lets out a half laugh. "Don't blame me for this. This was a special request from Kanzeon Bosatsu in return for letting me talk to you guys before each chapter. How else do you think your clothes could have transformed like that?"

Sanzo seethes, "That damn old hag!"

Gojyo, Hakkai and Goku's laughter finally seems to begin dying down, though the healer seems to be the only one making an active effort of dispelling his laughter.

"Are you guys ready?" Zell asks them. All but Sanzo nod, avoiding meeting anyone's gaze lest they break into uncontrollable laughter once more.

Zell grins, "Okay, let's do this! Go out there, one verse," she looks pointedly at Sanzo, "one dance and you are home free. None of you can step off the stage until all four of you have performed adequately, together… as a team."

"I already told you, I will not go out there dressed like this!" Sanzo snarls, reiterating his point

There is another flash of light and what looks like a tall woman dressed in partially transparent clothing appears. S/he casts the shadow of a peacock on the wall behind hir for a few seconds before allowing hir shadow to disappear. S/he laughs gently, "Then Konzen, you stay here, in this dressing room dressed in a showgirl costume forever until you do." Sanzo crosses his arms pointedly and seats himself so s/he continues, "Along with the three of them. It's your choice, dear nephew."

A flicker of confusion passes over the monk's face. He is used to being called Konzen by hir and other gods but unused to nephew, however he dismisses the thought as what s/he said sinks in. 'Trapped forever in this tiny room with those three morons… stuck in this costume?' he thinks with distaste. 'That would be worse than hell.'

He looks up at the goddess, "One song and dance?"

S/he nods. "One. Two minutes of your life."

Sanzo thinks for a moment longer. His decision is already made but he prefers that no one else realise the speed at which this choice is made. "Fine." He acquiesces, grumbling as he stands and striding out the door leading to the stage

Kanzeon Bosatsu smiles at Zell and disappears in another flash and a shower of sparkles.

Zell looks at the remaining three members of the Sanzo-ikkou. "I'm surprised you guys didn't kick up more of a fuss."

Hakkai smiles, "I cannot say I want to do this but I can think of worse." He walks through the door after Sanzo.

Gojyo grimaces, "I'd rather not be doing this either but it's better than doing Sue. 'Sides," he suddenly grins, "I get to see the bouzu embarrass himself. That makes this completely worth it."

Zell laughs, "Glad you see it that way."

"You better take plenty of pictures. I want multiple copies." Gojyo adds with a wink before following Hakkai out the door.

Goku fidgets a little, looking nervously at the exit leading to the stage. He sighs and begins moving towards it before stopping and looking back to Zell and the camera she has just picked up. With a grin, he asks, "Can you make sure to get a really good photo of Sanzo? I'd love to have one. Maybe one day I can even get him to autograph it." The saru then runs out onto the stage.

Zell smiles and leaves through a hidden door to go and mix in with the crowd. She waves a greeting to Kougaiji, Lirin, Yaone and Dokugakuji as she passes them to find a good place from which to take photos. No sooner is Zell ready than the stage lights switch on, spotlights focussing on each of the quartet on stage. All four are in matching outfits, just the colours being different. Sanzo is wearing purple, Goku, gold, Hakkai is in a deep green costume and Gojyo is in a rich crimson outfit. Hakkai clears his throat politely and begins to speak into a microphone as he attempts to drown out Lirin's excited screams of "Hage Sanzo! Hage Sanzo! Hage Sanzo!"

"In celebration of the defeat and passing on of Mary-Sue, we would like to perform a dance and sing for you."

A cheer roars from the crowd of fans and acquaintances as Sanzo links arms with Goku, Goku links his other arm with Hakkai and Hakkai joins his remaining arm with Gojyo, to form a short chorus line across the stage. The music starts and in time with each other, the foursome on stage bounces, lifting one knee in the air. They bounce again, kicking out with the same leg and then repeat the steps again with their opposite leg as they perform the Can-Can.

Goku is dancing with an almost wild abandon, throwing himself fully into the motion and appearing to the audience as if he is having the time of his life. What looks like the beginnings of laughter fill his face as he turns his head to say something encouraging to the sour-faced blond beside him. Whatever Goku says does not seem well received as Sanzo somehow manages to look even more annoyed. As for Sanzo himself, he is only making the absolute minimal effort to join in with the dance.

Hakkai is wearing an embarrassed, close-eyed smile but is otherwise putting a full effort into the dance and as for Gojyo, he is definitely not putting in his all, he is merely performing adequately and only just. Gojyo is much more interested in leaning forward in the formation to peer beyond healer and saru, grinning as he watches Sanzo. He is hoping to see something more that he can later use to tease the shit out of the pissy blond. Just as they are getting ready to begin singing, Hakkai chastises the redhead and Gojyo settles back into formation again as they all begin singing.

"Ding dong the Sue is dead,
the Sue is dead,
the Sue is dead.
Ding dong, the Mary-Sue is dead!"

Finally, the routine is over, much to the relief of the performers. Hakkai steps forward again but before he can speak, Sanzo turns and marches off stage angrily, Goku casting a worried look after the monk and Gojyo chortling with delight once more.

"Eh heh!" Hakkai laughs nervously as he reaches one hand up behind his head, accidentally brushing the gaudy feathers sitting there and making them bob a little. "Well, that was a little… different. We hope you enjoyed the show but don't go away. This performance may be over however there is still one more chapter to come. We will see you then." Hakkai bows to the audience and then with all the dignity he can muster, he walks off stage, followed by Gojyo and Goku.

Owari

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