Star Warts

"Master, duck!" Anakin yelled as General Grievous shot his blaster. Obi-Wan was quick though and because of Anakin's warning, was able to move out of the way in time.

"Hey! Why'd you shoot at me you big bag of bolts?" Obi-Wan asked as he fixed his soft, wavy hair back into place. Anakin rolled his eyes at his Master's lack of ability to think of a good insult, but otherwise stayed silent.

General Grievous sneered at them, or at least as much as a droid could at someone. "Because you were dancing, that's why!" he said, making Obi-Wan look at him funny and Anakin to sneeze as he snorted laughing.

"Don't laugh! It's true, I hate anyone who dances! It fills my heart, body, and soul with hate until I can feel nothing else but the rage and then I have to kill whoever's dancing, just to make it stop!" he roared at them.

Anakin thought the Sepratists really needed to screen their employees a little more throughly before hiring them, "Droids don't have hearts and souls," he pointed out.

General Grievous looked afronted, "I do too have a heart, see?" he said as he moved his breast plate, showing his beating heart. Anakin looked at it closely, always having been interested in machinery, "Wow, that's weird!" he said.

Obi-Wan smacked his head with his hand, why didn't his own padawan know by now not to tell evil generals with anger issues that could very easily kill them if they really went off that they were 'weird'? "You think I'm weird? I can't help what I am you know! How would you feel if you were some special being that no one else was like in the world and that everyone wanted a piece of, huh? Well, huh!" General Grievous yelled.

Anakin decided it was not a good time to explain about the whole 'Chosen One' thing, "Errh," he said as he backed slowly away thinking of something to do to get Grievous to go away, "Why don't you wike people dancing?" Okay that wasn't the best diversion, but it would do for the moment.

General Grievous eyed them suspiciously, "Do you really want to know?" he asked as Anakin had another sneezing fit. He nodded his head, sniffing up all the snot that was threatening to escape. Grievous pushed a button on his forearm, making both Jedi wary, but instead only a tissue popped out. "Here, you little snot nosed Jedi, its Puffs, my personal favorite," he said handing the tissue to Anakin. He took it gratefully, blowing his nose loud and long. He handed the used tissue to Obi-Wan, who suddenly became aware of how much of a mommy he was, as he tucked it into a pocket. Chosen One my ass! Having to keep his dirty tissues... Obi-Wan thought darkly of all the mean things he could do to Anakin, like putting his light saber where the suns didn't shine, but started paying attention again as he seen General Grievous was, crying?

"And then all the other droids laughed at me! Laughed! They said droids weren't supposed to become dancers for Jabba the Hutt. They said I wasn't a real droid, that I was a, a," he started wailing at this point in a high tone that sounded suspiciously like what a motorbike sounded like right before it overheated and blew up. Neither Jedi asked what the other droids had called Grievous, but instead patted him on the shoulder as they quickly and quietly snuck past him and on down the hallway. They could still hear him crying as they started climbing the staircase to the second story of the palace.

Anakin took the lead, knowing very well where the Senator's bed chambers were. "Anakin, shouldn't we stop to see where the Senator's rooms are?" Obi-Wan asked as he stopped at a large sign on the wall. Anakin smoothly turned around, tripped on his cloak and fell on his face. "Anakin, what are you doing? Get over here!" Obi-Wan called to him again. Anakin got up, glaring at the floor, and walked to Obi-Wan who was looking at a large map of the palace. He knew exactly where they were by it too. There was a large red X marking on the map where they were with text underneath it saying, "You are Here!" and a big smiley face.

"Hmmm, it seems that we need to continue down this hallway, take a right, then a left, and then its the..." but Anakin interuppted Obi-Wan, "Fworth door on the left, now can we go?" he asked impatiently. "How did you know it was right there? You weren't looking at the map!" Obi-Wan said accusingly.

Anakin was panicked for a minute, then decided to use the best and most vague excuse all Jedi used, "I just used the Force Master, that's all!" he said innocently and clearly for once. "Oh well okay then, let's go!" Obi-Wan said brightly and they began their way to the Senator's rooms.

Back outside the palace walls, a huge battle had occured. Luckily though the Republic had come out on top again, literally. Instead of the usual battle, Mace Windu and Lord Dooku had decided to see who won the palace with a good game of 'King of the Planet'. The general premises being that everyone would try to get to the top of some hill or other and whoever could be the one to stay up there permanantly, would be King and win.

There had been a few problems, such as Naboo didn't seem to have any hills nearby, so Mace and Dooku had simply ordered their troops to all pile on top of each other to make a hill. Then after that was done, the two had climbed their way up the mountain of bodies and through the complaints of the troops, "I'm hot!" "You're stepping on my hand!" "Get your hand away from my no-no area!" they had gotten to the top and had began a spectacular duel with each other.

It had ended up with Windu winning as he had said, "Hey, look! Bush finally found the weapons of mass destruction!" and had shoved Dooku off the pile when he had turned to hopefully see one of the galaxy's oldest mystery's solved.

Mace Windu sat on the hill of...life forms, and took a breather. It had been a long time since he had been in any sort of game. The last he was pretty sure was when the Jedi had had their 1,000 year reunion and he was now the Grand Master of the Wheel Barrow along with Master Yoda. You know that little green guy made a great wheel barrow!

Suddenly Windu felt a deep disturbance in the Force. No wait, it was just something that smelled really bad! "What is that?" Mace looked around him, he couldn't seem to find out where that horrible stench was coming from, and then he heard it. It was short and low, but the smell that came afterwards was anything but that. The 'pfft' he heard was coming from right beside him.

"Lieutenant!"

"Yes Sir?"

"You are forbidden to ever, ever get burritos from the Galactic 7-11 again, understand?"

"Yes Sir," the Lieutenant said sullenly. Mace scrunched up his face and decided that he needed to go see how Master Kenobi and young Anakin were doing in the palace, it might smell better there.

TO BE CONTINUED!

Well there's the second chapter to this hopefully funny story! Though I did get 10 reviews! Holy Cow! And none of them were flamers! It astounded me. lol But thank you all so much for them, and I can just hope that it all continues! I'll try to update again soon!