Series: Saiyuki
Author: Zelgadis55
Beta: Diva Urd
Rating: R – Only for one of the previous chapters.
Disclaimer: None of the breathtaking bishie characters of Saiyuki belongs to me, to my eternal lament. I praise Kazuya Minekura daily for her wonderful vision.
Warnings: Um, none other than a bit of language, Sue is finally gone.
A/N: No character chat today, I think I might live longer if I stay away from the Sanzo-ikkou at this point. Sorry about the delay on this chapter, it would have been out a couple of weeks ago if not the push for an extra scene from Diva Urd and Sleepeh. Still, I agree, it was needed, I just had trouble with it. . Review responses to the latest two posts are up on my bio as always.
Gojyo and Mary-Sue
Pt 21
The last three weeks had been relatively quiet, with only the occasional attack from small groups of youkai. Moments after Sue had died, her remains had rapidly rotted and deteriorated in much the same manner that she had said would have happened to Gojyo. All that was left was bones, dust and clothing. Gojyo had slept for a little over two days straight and according to Hakkai, it seemed to have been a dreamless sleep. Certainly, Gojyo could not remember dreaming anything then or since. If Gojyo had been quiet over the last three weeks, it was because he had been lost in deep thought. That's not to say the kappa was tuning anyone or anything out, just that he wasn't starting any fights with the saru or teasing the pissy blond monk.
He remembered everything. Now that the haze had completely lifted from his mind, Gojyo remembered it all; from the moment he met Sue, to the strange tiredness that had hit him that first night with her. He now realised she had spiked his drink that night. Now that he remembered, he recognised the sensation he had felt both after drinking the drink and the following morning.
Gojyo now remembered how uncaring he had acted towards his best friend and couldn't believe that he could have behaved that way. The saru, of all people, had tried to pick him up on it, dammit!
He remembered Goku saving his life when he was stupid enough to jump in the water after Sue… and he remembered how he repaid the teen afterward - by leaving him behind. Gojyo also remembered the harsh words he had said to Goku later that night and felt hot shame run through him in memory of that treatment of his friend…
Gojyo remembered what he had said to Hakkai afterwards and how he had spoken. For fucks sake, he had even tried to kill him, Hakkai, his best friend! It made him feel guilty about the way he had treated the person who meant the most to him.
And Hakkai did mean more to Gojyo that anyone else ever had and ever would… He remembered accusing Hakkai of being jealous and while he knew he had it wrong, the more he thought about it, the more he felt as though he might have been closer to the truth than he originally thought.
Sue had at least been right about that. Gojyo had been using these last three weeks for some very serious thinking indeed. He was going to have to talk to Hakkai about the way he felt and soon, before he lost his nerve.
As they travelled along on their journey west, Gojyo lifted his eyes from the horizon and looked up to the rear vision mirror where he found himself meeting a worried emerald coloured gaze. The redhead smiled in return and the part of the healer's face that he could see relaxed, looking a lot happier than he had for a while now. Gojyo knew he had been worrying Hakkai with his recent quiet introspective but he had so much to think about lately. With that final fight with Sue, she had given him a lot to mull over. It wasn't simple - feelings never were and for a ladies man who only ever had one night stands like Gojyo… he sighed. Suddenly discovering you had real feelings for someone and that they were for another man on top of that, well, that just complicated things. Actually, Gojyo had to admit to himself that it scared the shit out of him.
"Hey Hakkai?" Gojyo called. He could hear a warm smile in the healer's reply.
"Yes Gojyo?"
"Will we be reaching a town tonight?"
Sanzo snorted in annoyance, "Don't you pay any attention to the day's travel plans, kappa?"
'Fuck this.' Gojyo thought. "I do," he smirked, "but after that last attack this morning where some twisted priest managed to get himself cursed, we lost a few hours, which kinda throws plans off balance, ya know? And of course, who knows how that curse is even going to manifest itself?" Gojyo chuckled. The fact that the pissy monk had supposedly been cursed was a sore point and just the mere mention of it guaranteed to earn his ire; the man was so in denial.
"Ne, Gojyo," Goku asked in a quiet voice, "do you really think Sanzo has been cursed?"
Gojyo grinned, "Yup, sure do." He could see the twitch ticking on the side of Sanzo's forehead.
"What do you think will happen?" the saru asked. He'd been worrying about it ever since it happened but Sanzo refused to give it any thought, dismissing the question any time Goku had tried to ask.
Gojyo however, was enjoying this. Now he had made the decision to speak to Hakkai, he had some serious monk teasing to catch up with. Picking on Goku could wait until a little later. "Well, let's see. Anything could happen really." Thinking back to when he had been cursed by a youkai-come-god, he answered, "Could be something as simple as old memories brought to life to something like… oh, I dunno, something like making him eager to please and actually help others. Maybe something to give our Sanzo-sama a personality or…"
The gun was in the kappa's face before he could breathe another word. "Will you shut the hell up?" Sanzo screamed. "This idea of a curse is crap and nothing's going to happen. If you keep on about it, I swear when I pull the trigger, I will not miss."
'He's worried.' Gojyo thought with amusement as he deliberately acted scared for the monk's benefit.
A few moments more passed before Sanzo's face no longer appeared quite as purple with fury. He sat back in his seat, placing his weapon away.
Hakkai smiled. "What a pleasant day."
Gojyo leaned forward to hang his head over Hakkai's shoulder and murmur, "So, do ya think we'll make a town tonight?"
If the healer seemed slightly surprised by Gojyo's sudden proximity, he didn't show it. "Yes." He answered. "We should make it, provided we don't receive any more visitors between now and town. We probably will not make it until around ten o'clock however. We did lose quite a bit of time this morning."
Gojyo nodded, satisfied with the answer and hoping nothing more would happen today to slow them significantly.
"Does that include stopping for dinner?" Goku asked worriedly. "I'll starve if we have to wait that long."
Shaking his head, the healer replied, "I'm very sorry Goku but it doesn't. We don't have enough supplies for more than a snack, anyway"."
Goku seemed to physically wilt back into his seat upon hearing the news. "Great and I'm already starved." He moaned unhappily.
Hakkai gave Goku a sympathetic smile and went back to concentrating on driving, speeding up a little whenever he deemed the track safe enough to allow it.
After a while, Gojyo leaned forward again this time over the healer's outer shoulder, "Room with me tonight? I need to talk to you." He said quietly. This time surprise did show imperceptibly on Hakkai's face and he nodded. "If available rooms allow it, of course."
Gojyo relaxed back into his seat, pleased that Hakkai had agreed.
- . - . -
Later than expected, the travellers finally reached town that night, cold, tired and hungry, or in the case of one five hundred and eighteen year old teenager, ravenous
It was a small town with only one inn, which was getting ready to close the doors for the night when they pulled up. The only restaurant in town, located next door to the inn, was long closed, much to Goku's loud and verbal frustration.
The desk clerk looked at the four travellers and scowled at the dragon. Hakkai smiled pleasantly as he stepped up to the desk.
"We would like to stay for the night; do you have any rooms available?" The healer asked over the protestations of Goku's stomach.
"Yes," came the reply, "but you will have to double up as we only have two rooms left."
Hakkai closed his eyes and continued smiling. "That would be fine. We are well used to sharing." He received the keys to their rooms and handed one to the surprised Sanzo.
"What is this for? Give it to the kappa or the saru." He said.
Gojyo spoke up with a smirk. "Hate to break it to ya bouzu but me and Hakkai are sharing tonight."
Sanzo's violet gaze narrowed dangerously. "There is no way that I am sharing with that annoying saru tonight, especially when he hasn't eaten." The monk tried to ignore the hurt shining in those golden eyes that stared up at him. "Either Hakkai and I share or it's all three of you in one room."
Gojyo shook his head; he was ready to dig his heels in over this one. However, Hakkai beat him to it.
"I am sorry Sanzo but Gojyo has asked to speak with me about something."
"You can talk some other time."
"No Sanzo, I'm afraid not. Gojyo has been waiting long enough as it is."
'Longer than you realise, Hakkai.' The kappa thought, suddenly feeling nervous as he realised the point of no return was fast approaching.
Sanzo opened his mouth to continue arguing but gave up when he saw the determined expression on the healer's face. "Che! Fine!" he turned to Goku scowling, "If you annoy me in any way, you are sleeping in the hallway."
Goku looked downcast as he followed the monk to their room, his stomach still growling uncontrollably.
Gojyo watched them leave before muttering to Hakkai, "Do you think the chimp'll be okay?"
With a chuckle, Hakkai replied, "Yes, Goku will be fine. While it might not be much, Sanzo usually has a meat bun or something hidden away somewhere."
Gojyo gave a nod. "After everything I put everyone through a few weeks back, well, I'd hate for him to suffer that bouzu's wrath because of me. I still haven't found a way to make up for what I said and did to the little brat." He said as he and Hakkai walked to their room
Hakkai chuckled, "I very much doubt Goku is worried about you making up for what happened. He knows none of it was intentional. Besides, I don't think you need to worry tonight. He hides it well but Sanzo does have a soft spot for Goku." The healer stopped to insert the key into a door. He swung it open and the two walked inside. As they settled into the room, Hakkai asked curiously, "What was it that you needed to speak to me about, Gojyo?"
Feeling suddenly flustered and no longer sure he wanted to go through with confessing to his best friend after all, Gojyo sat down. He glanced at the healer's curious, concerned gaze and quickly looked away again. 'Shit!' he thought, 'I've never had trouble saying how I felt to anyone else before. Yeah but that was only ever about lust, this…' he sighed.
"Gojyo?" Hakkai gently prodded; suddenly concerned that his friend was fretting over everything that had happened three weeks previously. "Are you alright? You know you can talk to me about anything."
"Yeah, I know," Gojyo said gratefully as he looked back up at Hakkai with a smile, "but that's not it. I need to and I want to talk about this, it's just that… I'm not sure how to say it, that's all."
Hakkai looked puzzled, "It isn't like you to worry about how to say anything to anyone." He observed.
"I know," the kappa nodded, "it's just…"
When Gojyo hesitated, Hakkai spoke trying to help. "Hmm? I don't know what it is since you haven't yet told me what the problem is yet," the healer smiled, "but how far off from anything else you would say is it? If there is something similar, how would you normally say it?"
Gojyo looked straight into Hakkai's eyes. "Anything similar huh?" he shrugged, "I would come right out and say it."
Hakkai's smile turned softer, "Well then?" he prompted gently.
"Don't laugh." Gojyo warned, "I've been thinking seriously about this for some time now."
As the healer nodded, Gojyo took a deep breath and blurted out, "Hakkai, I love you." For a few seconds in which Gojyo seriously began to regret opening himself up to rejection, Hakkai stared. His heart began to sink as he heard delighted laughter from the man he just confessed to.
"Oh Gojyo, do you mean it? Do you really mean it?"
He could not remember Hakkai sounding so happy before and all the hanyou could do was nod dumbly.
"That's wonderful! You're wonderful!" Hakkai exclaimed as Gojyo stared confused. "Gojyo, I almost had to lose you before I realized how I felt but I love you also. I have done for quite some time but I could never admit it to myself."
'I'm not being rejected?' Gojyo thought in surprise. He had really hoped, had even believed that Hakkai felt the same way when he thought about the last few weeks but still, he had not felt any confidence.
"Even after Sue finally died, I was scared that if I told you how I felt…" Hakkai shook his head, "I'm sorry, I'm gushing and not giving you a chance to speak."
The kappa laughed, "That's okay, it's nice to see and hear real smiles from you. I think I've loved you for a long time too, it's just with our friendship being so strong, it blinded me the truth." He looked away from Hakkai again. "It took meeting Sue to make me realise how I really felt. Specifically, it was something she said."
Hakkai shifted from where he sat to sit beside Gojyo. He managed to gain the hanyou's gaze again. "What was it that she said?"
"She pretty much spelled it out for me." He replied. "If it wasn't for how I felt about you, I never would have broken free from her. I also remember her saying something about choosing her appearance based on my idea of the perfect woman. It's no wonder she reminded me a lot of you."
"You remember that?" the healer asked in surprise.
Gojyo nodded. "Yeah, since she died, I remember pretty much everything, even stuff I hadn't noticed at all originally. I was such an ass to you guys." He admitted. "But the main thing that got me thinking was at the end when it was just her and me and she said if she wasn't so angry about losing her youth, she would have wished the two of us happiness. All of this - and a lot of other things going back months that aren't even related to Sue - is what I've been thinking about these last three weeks. That's why I couldn't be bothered winding Sanzo up or picking on Goku recently." Gojyo shrugged.
"I must admit that your lack of causing arguments was worrying me a little, Gojyo." Hakkai admitted.
"Yeah, sorry, it's just that I really needed to think things through. Even without knowing the person I fell for is a guy, the fact that I realised that I actually love someone… That I have such strong feelings for a person, for you…" Gojyo looked directly at Hakkai as he said that and then shook his head, "I'll admit this only 'cause it's you, but this scares me, okay?"
"I know what you mean, Gojyo." The healer said softly. "After Kanan, not only did I think it not possible to fall in love again but I felt as though I do not deserve it. That is another of the reasons that I didn't tell you how I felt when I realised."
Gojyo's eyes widened with realisation. Despite his and Hakkai's feelings for each other, the latter's past might cause the brunet to reject him after all. "You've punished yourself enough. While it's part of you, it's the past." At the change in the healer's expression, Gojyo continued speaking, desperate that he might lose Hakkai before they even got their relationship off the ground. "Someone once gave me some good advice; let the past guide you but not rule you."
Hakkai looked a little surprised and Gojyo laughed, "What, you think I could have come up with advice like that on my own?"
The expression in the healer's eyes softened as he admitted with a small chuckle, "You have hidden depths Gojyo, so I doubt it would be beyond you. Still, after giving advice like that, how would you suggest we proceed?" Hakkai asked, his smile slightly teasing.
Gojyo, a previously incurable womaniser still questioned, despite how clear his and Hakkai's feelings were. "So, you don't mind the idea of us?"
Hakkai shook his head, "No, I truly don't mind at all."
A grin split the lecherous kappa's face, "In that case, I would suggest we 'get it on'," he laughed, "but for tonight, it's late, we're both hungry and tired, we haven't had a bed to sleep in for the last few nights now so…" Gojyo trailed off, it felt wrong to end the night by simply going to bed as though nothing had happened. Suddenly captivated by deep, emerald coloured eyes, which in turn were locked onto his own crimson ones. After several moments, Gojyo leaned towards his newfound lover and he drew the unresisting man into his arms. Hakkai's eyes closed, and so did Gojyo's just before their lips met.
- . - . -
Gojyo awoke to delicious warmth. The kind of warmth where all you want is to remain in bed, eyes closed and savour the moment of waking. He smiled as he remembered the previous night. He half couldn't believe it, that he had finally found the courage to tell Hakkai of the feelings he had so long ignored in himself and then, to find those feelings returned. Gojyo truly was one happy kappa just now, even though last night hadn't actually gone beyond a kiss. He and Hakkai had been too tired, hungry and most of all, ill prepared for anything more to have happened. Besides, it really was nice just being with each other, feeling the warmth of somebody he cared for with everything he had, feeling secure, feeling Hakkai wrapped in his arms. He gave a small laugh. Even he couldn't believe that he, the king of one-night stands, could be so happy with just being there, side by side with the one he loved.
"What was the laugh for?" A soft, loving voice asked curiously.
The kappa opened his eyes to find Hakkai smiling tenderly at him. Gojyo returned his smile, moving his arm from where it rested around the healer's back and moving it up to where he could gently brush Hakkai's fringe back from his forehead. "I'm just finding it hard to believe that this actually happened, that's all."
Hakkai continued smiling; it wasn't that often that his smile actually reached his eyes. "I know what you mean…" He murmured, his hand likewise reaching for Gojyo's forehead. Just as his hand reached its destination, a loud knock accompanied by an irritable voice made them both jump.
"Breakfast is in five minutes. Be ready to go!"
"Aww, ya'd think that miserable bouzu could give us a break for one morning and let us sleep in." Gojyo grumbled.
"Come on." Hakkai chuckled softly, "we better get moving. Besides Gojyo, Sanzo did let us stay in bed longer. It is considerably lighter now than it is when we usually need to get moving."
Gojyo glanced out the window before returning his gaze to his object of his infatuation and grinning. "Yeah, you're right. You'll have to forgive me if I didn't notice; my eyes were on something a lot more interesting than the dawn this morning."
Hakkai blushed and the two hurriedly packed and readied themselves to leave.
- . - . -
Once the group had eaten and Hakkai had bought more supplies, the four piled into their usual positions in the jeep and drove off. Gojyo watched the town until it disappeared from sight, taking in every possible detail that he could. Once it was gone, he faced front again, leaning forward with his head beside the healer's. "So, what was the name of that town anyway?"
"Kokuhaku." Hakkai replied.
Goku had been watching the kappa with a weird expression for some time. "Why would you worry about that place? It was awful, no food all night!"
Gojyo smiled, "Because something very good happened in Kokuhaku and I want to remember everything I can about it, including the place."
"Huh? What?"
Shaking his head, Gojyo answered, "You wouldn't understand bakazaru."
Hakkai smiled happily, thinking that today was going to be an exceptionally good day.
"I would so understand and if I didn't, how could I if you don't tell me and I'm not a monkey, you red cockroach!"
Sanzo buried his head in his hands, feeling a headache and a really bad day coming on.
Gojyo glared at the saru, snapping back his reply, "I'm not a cockroach, stop pulling on my hair…"
The morning peace descended into chaos with insults flying back and forth between the two in the back seat until Sanzo finally snapped, firing off gunshots until the idiots in the back finally shut up.
'Definitely a bad day.' The monk thought, silence settling as Hakkai drove the jeep ever west.
Owari
- . - . -
A/N: (Grins happily) All done! Was able to humiliate and kill a Mary-Sue after letting her see where her victim's (Gojyo's) loyalties truly lay and I was also able to get Gojyo and Hakkai together (which coming into this story, I really didn't think I could do.)
From pretty much the beginning of this story, I envisioned it to be set not long before another fic I wrote 'The Day That Sanzo Lost His Twitch'. After finishing writing this, I realised it is set the day 'Twitch' is set, so if you haven't read it before and are wondering what happened with Sanzo's curse, reading 'The Day That Sanzo Lost His Twitch' will explain that.
Thanks everyone for reading and commenting.
