From the Desk of Eugene Dinsmore

Genre: Humor/Fantasy
Rating: PG-13
Summary: To everybody else Eugene may come off simple-minded, but underneath that head of curly hair is an intelligence few would suspect. PG-13 for humor and language.

I've been stumped for new ideas for a while; all I knew for sure was that I wanted the main character to do some writing of their own as the story progressed. I thought of Eugene and everything else sort of fell into place. I'm not sure how well this first chapter turned out, as I really thought I could stretch it to much longer than this, but I think it's a good enough start.

Date Uploaded: 10 September 2004

Chapter 1: Fantasy and Reality

In an ancient time of knights, dragons, spellcasters and kings, a small yet influential kingdom called Wentworth thrived. It's many sections and subdivisions was ruled under one king named Vincent K. McMahon II. But as he, his wife and children often traveled the globe strengthening alliances, waging wars and securing more riches from other kingdoms, Wentworth was often left unattended. To remedy this the kingdom was divided under two prefects.

The first was Thaddeus Long, who presided over the Shamborg half, and the second was Eric Von Bishop, who managed the half called Rem. It was fairly harmonious in Shamborg as Thaddeus Long was just and well liked by his people. In Rem, however, it was another story altogether.

Eric Von Bishop was a petty, vindictive and an often partial man, more inclined to fill his own coffers and service his own desires than attend the people. As such he was despised by his subjects and a lot frequently planned to overthrow him. This was virtually impossible, however, as Von Bishop had the backing of the richest and most powerful of the city's noblemen, Hunter Hearst Helmsly. Helmsly had Von Bishop in his backpocket and as such was the true presider of Rem; his word was law. All the people knew it and had come to resent the Helmsly family as well.

It was in these troubled times that Eric Von Bishop's nephew, Eugene V. Dinsmore, came to stay in Rem, Wentworth. And from then on the boy's simple life was never quite as simple as it once was.


»»»

"Eugene, there you are!" William Regal's voice sounded from up the hall, jolting the rookie from what he was doing.

At the sound of his trainer's, and as most figured, his babysitter as well, call, Eugene Dinsmore quickly closed his small, leather-bound notebook, slipping that and an old blue pen, virtually ink-less, into his shirt pocket. The kingdom of Wentworth and its subjects would have to wait until later. Eugene turned on his big, goofy smile as Regal jogged up to him. "Hi, Willie!"

Regal's face grimaced at the nickname and Eugene nearly burst out laughing, knowing how much the Englishman hated being called 'Willie.' Regal soon composed himself, though, and let it go. "Eugene, you have a match against Sylvan Grenier in twenty minutes, you can't be seated here scribbling! Have you warmed up?"

"No, Willie," Eugene lied, enjoying the frantic frustration etched on Regal's face. "You want me to do some stretches?"

"Yes, stretches, yes, lad," Regal said, nodding wearily. "At least you're already dressed, but hurry. Go do your stretches in the locker room. I'll pick you up in ten minutes."

"Okay, Willie," Eugene complied, heading off. There were some obvious perks in pretending to be childish and simple-minded, such as watching William Regal piss himself explaining stuff and trying to be patient with him. And then again there were the downsides, such as doing his writing in secret. It was a shame, as writing relaxed him, offered him a small escape from reality.

But there was no time to pine over that at present. Right now he had a match to prepare for.

»»»

Once in the ring Eugene immediately thought of another upside to his deception. No matter how many matches and upset wins that he had had in the past, his opponent always underestimated him. It never failed; a vaguely empty, cheery smile on his face and his foe let his guard down, thinking that he had this in the bag. Sylvan instantly committed this crucial mistake and was now feeling the aftereffects as Eugene slammed him face first onto the mat with a flapjack.

"That's it, Eugene!" William Regal encouraged from the sidelines. "Now go for his right shoulder; it's a particularly weak spot."

The advantage of having a trainer/manager/partner/babysitter who had spent countless months observing and helping out in OVW was that he knew a lot about the talent that came out of it. Eugene followed up with a shoulderlock but Grenier, who had heard Regal's piece of advice, quickly crawled over to the sides and grasped the bottom rope with his free hand. Eugene had to give up the submission hold.

At that moment Rob Conway entered the ring, determined to level Eugene with a clothesline. Regal had accidentally distracted the referee at that moment, but fortunately Eugene saw Conway coming and ducked, causing Rob's arm to collide into the recuperating Sylvan. Horrified at his mistake, Conway rolled out of the ring and was immediately trounced by Regal, much to the crowd's approving cheers.

Back in the ring Sylvan was victim to the Stunner. Three counts later and Eugene had successfully picked up the win!

"Well done," Regal praised as the two of them headed backstage, but Eugene's mind was already on what he would add in his fictional chronicles.

»»»

Much too busy and impatient to deal with his young nephew, Lord Eric Von Bishop immediately shoved Eugene off onto a teacher named Willem Regal. This was initially not to the liking of Sir Regal, as he thought the boy clumsy and slow-witted. Priding himself as a man of his word and one with many capabilities, however, Sir Regal took Eugene under his wing, tutoring him in arts, sciences, literature and physical defense and combat. An eager learner, Eugene may not exactly have excelled in his subjects, but his enthusiasm earned him the praise and respect of his new tutor.

"I cannot for certain say that you have been my best student," Regal admitted after Eugene had bested Sylvan Grenier, a fellow squire, in a swordfight. "But you are certainly one with the most heart."

"Then I consider that an even higher compliment," Eugene replied, grinning.

"Surely your uncle will be pleased to hear of your improvement," Regal said, clapping his student on the back warmly.

At that Eugene's face clouded over. "My uncle..." he murmured, looking up at the high towers of the prefect's castle.


»»»

"Yes, Eugene, this is your uncle," Eric Bischoff's impatient tone said, cutting into his thoughts.

Eugene blinked, realizing that he and William Regal had encountered the RAW General Manager in a corridor backstage. He quickly slipped back into his mental disguise and grinned happily. "Hi, Uncle Eric! Did you see my match out there?"

"Yes, I did, Bischoff said with his usual twinge of irritation when dealing with Eugene. "I was impressed by it, actually. Follow me to my office, would you? There are a few things I'd like to discuss with you and William Regal," he beckoned them forward and began walking.

Eugene must have let slip a worried expression on his face because William Regal encouragingly nudged him forward. "Come on, we might as well see what he wants now."

And so the two followed.

cont'd

So, how did you guys like the start? I do have a bit of a basis for a good plot, but that'll unfold in the next chapter. I'm also going to try my hand at romance, although I know I have a tendency to suck in that department. Comments? Critiques? Flames? Anything is welcome!