A/N: My first fic ever, bare w/ me. Disclaimer: I don't own Escaflowne or any of the characters blah blah blah.

Chapter 1: Black & White.and Pink?

Her steps crunched as she marched through the empty park. It was dark but she didn't need the light, she marched purposely, yet aimlessly onwards.

Her green eyes, the usually bright emerald sparks, were smouldering and cast inwards, unfocused on anything except for OLP, throbbing from her head phones, straight through her brain, numbing her senses and giving her a peace that only the ceaseless pounding and grinding could. However much the wild pitch droned on however, it couldn't block out the hurt sitting like a knife in her heart. The latest fight was sill fresh on her mind.

"Cevena Jade Fanel!" She could hear her mother screaming at her as she lay on her bed in her room. Her backpack was untouched from when she had come home, random cds and clothing were strewn all over the floor. She had been expecting it, and when her mothers voice came screaming from the kitchen, she sighed and pulled herself up and down. "It's almost like a routine now." she thought sadly. As she stepped into the kitchen, her mother was standing at the table. She couldn't meet her eyes.

The expression would be one of sad disappointment, self blaming and the question "How could my daughter turn out like this?" written plainly across. Her mother had never been able to hide her expressions well. Her mother spoke, softly and carefully. "Cevena, I just got a phone call from Mrs. Wong again.you failed another math test.and you haven't been going in for extra help or been doing the homework."

She just stared at the floor and didn't speak. From experience this was the best way, it had worked for the letter from the English teacher, the letter from what's-his-face in the History department and the phone call or two from the gym teacher about breaking that snob's nose.

"Cevena.I want you to look at me." She didn't move, her mother would see right through her if she did. "Cevena!" No movement. Water dripped from a tap. Her mother sighed. "Honey, I want you to look at me to see for yourself, that I love you and I only want what's best for you. I know these past years have been difficult for you, and I.your father and I, want to know what the problem is-" Anger flared up in Cevena and she broke her mute finally.

"The only "PROBLEM" is that I'm sick of the stupid school! I'm sick of this house! And I'm sick of YOU! You AND dad! The whole goal of my life is to study hard, work hard, learn all I can so that I can get a good job and have a good life!! There's nothing I want in this life! NOTHING! Life is boring! It's the same everyday, I wake up, go to school, sit and learn and then go home and work. If I don't do well in school, everyone hates me!!" She stared up at her mother, cheeks hot.

Her mother wore a look of concerned understanding. It drove her crazy. Her mother didn't understand anything, she thinks I'm just a troubled teen, I'm going through a phase! And there's nothing I can do that would prove how wrong that is! Her mother spoke again. "Cevena, dearling, your father and I do not hate you! We love you, and I know you know that! But you have to be patient, there's more to life than you think right now.in time you will see though."

She wanted to scream. Everyone in this world is the same.they do the exact same thing. Everyone has one goal in their lives, to get a good job, a good spouse, a good home.a family. Well, everyone "normal" at least. The problem was she felt so bored. She could go through life, asleep. She couldn't be famous either, that had been her dream, to be apart from the rest. To go through life, singing and dancing; doing something she loved. All to soon her dreams turned to bitter dust.

She had looks maybe, slightly tanned, dark glossy hair and shocking, green eyes of her mother. But she could not act at all, she wasn't good at pretending to be something or someone she wasn't. Then there was singing.she still winced at the thought. Her voice was something like a dying, tortured, constipated bull frog in heat. She tried her hand at almost every sport, hoping to find one where she had a natural talent and could be a star. Her body had other ideas though, She had no endurance, all the others were always, tougher, smarter, and stronger and outlasted her. She sighed. Then she had watched some samurai cartoons and thought she could be some great martial artist. She had made her mother enrol her in wushu, karate and taichi. Altogether she had been exhausted and overwhelmed. All the moves from each art bled into one another until she seemed be doing wusharatichi. She still remembered her instructor's sniff of disdain, and the rest of the class's laughter. She had walked away and never tried again.

She did okay in school, but had to work hard for her 60 average where others who didn't seem to care at all easily got 95s. She was tired and frustrated in general with life, she was sick of trying again and again to find something she had a passion for and each day the fire within guttered a little lower. There came the point about a year ago, when she just gave up and stopped trying. She went to her classes, didn't pay attention, didn't do homework. None of her so called friends seemed to notice the change. In fact, they didn't even seem to notice when she started skipping her classes more and more often. She felt invisible.

There was nothing in life that she wanted, but yet she selfishly wanted to go on existing. Everything had gone down from there. There were constant fights, teachers kept calling home and sending letters. And this was when her parents finally started to really realize that something was wrong with Cevena.

Yah, maybe I'm just psycho.she thought. Late at night she could hear her parents talking about her. She just turned up her music and ignored them.discussing her like she was some kind of problem that needed to be resolved. The door opened suddenly, her father stepped through, snapping her back to present.

Her mother whipped around. "Oh, Van." she started. Her father looked at her and then at her mother. "What is wrong, Hitomi?" He asked sternly, looking at her mother. They met each others eyes and a brief look of understanding passed almost to quick for Cevena to catch. Van turned to her, first taking a deep breath. "Cevena, Your mother and I think that we might know what the problem is." Not another "understanding parent" talk. She couldn't stand it. She had to get air. She turned around and ran up to her room, slamming the door. "Cevena!" Hitmomi cried anxiously. She heard it through the floor. But then she heard her father shush her and say something like "Give her some time, she needs to calm down first."

Cevena could feel the anger gathering inside her, like a dark beast. She turned up her music, Down with the Sickness, resounded off the walls. Covering everything. She was tired of being so predictable. She wanted to prove that she wasn't just a teenager going through her phases! She had to prove somehow that she didn't want to be what everyone wanted her to be. What the world expected her to be. She felt like she was going insane. She grabbed her CD player and climbed out the window. She needed a walk.

Eventually her CD ended. She collapsed on a park bench, suddenly sorry that she hurt her parents so much. She did know that they loved her, they wanted her to be happy. She sighed. I must be going insane, nothing in this world can make me happy. She felt like a child, always wanting more.

She wanted to cry, but she hadn't cried since she was a four year old. Why start when she was 17? She sighed again. Suddenly she wanted to sing, to put her feelings into a song. It came out a tuneless, weak mewling melody that was *supposed* to be Lennie Kravitz. "I wish that I could fly, so very high into the sky.to anywhere I please. Oh, I wanna get away.I wanna fllllllllllyyy away!" Sure it was an old song. But the words seemed to come straight from her soul and she smiled at her own silliness. A light pulsed from under her shirt. She gasped and took out her necklace. Her mother had given it to her on her fifteenth birthday, almost at the same time Cevena had started to give up on life. Her mother had never taken it off, so it came as a shock to her when she just gave it. The pulsing had slowed to a steady glowing pink light, getting brighter and brighter. The last thought before everything went black was. "My wish is coming true.?"