S E R A P H

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The Miserere: Prayer Of Repentance

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Have mercy on me, god, in your goodness
In your abundant compassion blot out my offense
Wash away all my guilt;
From my sin cleanse me
For i know my offense
My sin is always before me
Against you alone have i sinned
I have done such evil in your sight
That you are just in your sentence
Blameless when you condemn
True, i was born guilty
A sinner
Even as my mother conceived me
Still, you insist on sincerity of heart;
In my inmost being teach me wisdom
Cleanse me with hyssop
That i may be pure
Wash me
Make me whiter than snow
Let me hear sounds of joy and gladness
Let the bones you have crushed rejoice

Turn away your face from my sins
Blot out my guilt
A clean heart create for me, god
Renew in me a steadfast spirit do not drive me from your presence
Nor take from me your holy spirit
Restore my joy in your salvation
Sustain in me a willing spirit
I will teach the wicked your ways
That sinners may return to you
Rescue me from death
God, my saving god
That my tongue may praise your healing power
Lord, open my lips
My mouth will proclaim your praise
For you do not desire sacrifice
A burnt offering you would not accept
My sacrifice, god, is a broken spirit
God, do not spurn a broken, humbled heart

Make Zion prosper in your good pleasure
Rebuild the walls of Jerusalem
Then you will be pleased with proper sacrifice
Burnt offerings and holocausts
Then bullocks will be offered on your altar

---Psalm Fifty-one

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It had been an unavoidable contact.

Although I did not trust Venials or Temptations enough to reveal my state of deterioration or my place of rest, I had to let a few of them know of my existence.

Michael was searching for me. Gabriel was aiding him and I knew that if the two of them had joined forces, it was not of Michael's own volition.

Although Michael had never purposefully been cruel and despite the length in which his true-felt affections remained upon a single entity, he was a harmful lover.

I'd fallen in with my dearest brother perhaps out of need, out of a desire to be favored. Michael had responded to me in a manner that to this day forced my once unbeating heart to clench at the sight of his blood-red hair and violet eyes.

Those caresses and lingering glances had not passed between us for years.

And now that I felt the pressing of his will against mine, the touch of his skin came with it---enticing me despite the knowledge that Michael had betrothed his love to Raphael.

For the second time, Michael's love had shifted away from me towards another of our brothers.

I was not willing to be discovered only to be made a fool of.

I was now human. And I would not willing subject the weakness of my love to the amusement of others.

Immorality had informed me of the occurence with Noin in Sank.

The next day I had shifted my efforts from heading further north to Switzerland, to instead heading far west to Neo-France, hoping that the move would buy me the time to confuse the details of my whereabouts.

Immorality studied me, grey eyes pensive and submissive.

"Are you so certain that she will not discover this place?"

"My Lord, she cannot sense you. You need not worry for your safety."

A quirk of amusement sprung from my mind. "Will you lose your immortality to protect another worthless mortal, Solo?"

Immorality smiled at my use of his brother's nickname for him. "When my brother demands an asking of me, I comply. You are our Master and I serve your existence and no other."

Solo gave a shallow bow before he knelt at my feet.

I held out my hand to him.

He took it in both of his own, laying a gentle kiss against the back of it.

His eyelashes fluttered against my skin. "My brother will visit with you. Do not fear what he plans for you. I would tell you of his dealings, but I fear that I have no knowledge of them." His lips passed over my knuckles. "I leave you now, Master. Retain your posture. Suprise only encourages him to meddle with your emotions."

I passed a hand through thick strands of his heavy hair.

He gave me a puzzled look when I clenched a fist, pulling harshly on it. "You assume that my mortality has brought me to a measure of misguidance." I took my hand, caressing the length of his jaw in a press of anger and roughness.

His grey eyes betrayed no signs of pain, rather, they possessed a slight anticipation. Of what?

The scent of orchids.

I released Solo, standing as I pushed him aside, causing him to lose his balance. As I stared into the face of Lust, his younger brother lay slumped against my leg, hair across his face, with the mark of my hand fresh upon his cheek.

Lust lifted a shapely eyebrow, lilac-drenched eyes surveying the situation with deep merriment.

"I have just arrived, yet I see that my dear little brother has already begun to manipulate you into a state of unsatiated desire." He looked away from me to glance at Solo.

"Brother, must you attempt to displease me? Our Master does not wish your attentions. Therefore, stop making ill attempts at a seduction."

Solo glowered at him, rising slowly to his feet. "There was no attempt brother." He gave another curt bow, this time directed towards Lust. "It must have been your insinuated presence that caused the tension." Immorality smirked, glancing back at me.

"Be gone, Solo. I wish to have a solitary audience with your brother."

Immorality disappeared before my perception-dulled eyes could register.

Lust turned his full attention towards me, a sickeningly beautiful smile full upon his lips.

"You believe that I've come only to torment you, do you not, My Lord?"

"I know not what to believe."

"Yes, well that is why we must speak. But I'm afraid that it will not be possible to speak alone."

"You would defy my wishes?" The false anger in my voice mocked Lust's useless attempt at proper etiquette.

"It cannot be helped, My Lord. Envy has insisted that he must also be part of your audience."

With those words, Envy made his entrance, using the door located to the far left of the room.

Lust sat on the couch in front of me, his body expressing impatience.

Envy was quiet. Reserved and almost unoticeable as he walked towards us.

His hair was antique brown, a rich color that spilled into his eyes, covering half of his face in a veil. Pine green eyes surveyed the surroundings with sharp precision.

He kneeled before me, one knee touching the ground, his head bowed.

"Why do you insist on this pretense of respect? This disgusting display that was left behind in the Courts of long ago?"

Lust tossed his knee-length braid behind him, a gesture of simulated surprise playing across his carefully poised face.

"My Lord, we wish only to give you the proper accordances that are yours by right."

"When will you understand that I do not desire reverence or idolatry? I do not wish to be deified! I am not your god nor am I your master! I am Zechs. A human. MORTAL."

Anger finally pushed aside Lust's mask. "Fine! You are Zechs. He---" he pointed at Envy's kneeling form "---is Trowa. And I remain as Duo Maxwell, pilot of the Gundam Deathscythe Hell. Is this how you prefer our future proceedings to go?"

"Yes."

Duo scoffed, taking his seat once again and crossing his gracefully long legs. "Then they shall." He nudged Trowa lightly with the toe of his black boot. "Trowa---you do not need to play the part of the subserviant anymore. Zechs dislikes having followers."

Envy arose, taking a seat beside Duo.

"What is it you want of me, Duo? I doubt that you would have taken the time to search for me unless it meant something to you."

He smirked, as he toyed with the silver rosary he wore around his neck. "You assume correctly. I wanted to ask you a question."

"'A question?' You've come this far to ask a question of me?"

I was suspicious of his ambitions. A Sin always had ulterior motives. Every action was based upon the results of multiple other actions and those were carefully constructed after various analyzations of the best possible outcome.

Was it wise to lend myself to Lust's games?

"Yes, a question." His voice softened, a velvet-covered persistance coating over the satin smoothness of his tone.

I felt myself nodding, gesturing to him a motion of encouragement to proceed.

"If I were to tell you that I could restore your immortality, that I could restore you to your place as ruler of Hell, what would you say?"

"No."

I had startled him. There had been no hesitation in my voice.

Rage and uncertaintly began to build up in his eyes. "You would throw away your chances for survival?"

For the first time Envy broke his silence.

"He does not wish to survive without Michael. There is no reason for his existence. He feels that he does not belong to the living world anymore..." he paused. "...and he is tired, Duo."

"'Tired'?" Duo stared at me. "You're tired of living? Has this human life extinguished your desires, your elation, your passion? Is there really nothing more that you wish?"

I leaned into the couch, resting my suddenly aching back onto soft cushions. "I have lost the only two things that I ever had passion for." I closed my eyes. "I cannot fathom a world that is missing even one of them. Do you truly belive that I would want to continue living with this pain?"

"I could get her for you."

My heart skipped several beats, yet I remained unresponsive to his inticements.

"If you wish for her, she will become yours. And if it is only her face, her physical body that you wish---" he broke off, stopping to recapture his use of persuasion.

His voice lowered, sinking into a beguiling accent of sultry seduction. "---if she is really what you desire, I could become her for you. I would become Him, if is Michael that you long for: his face, those eyes of tarnished plum. I could give you anything you desired with a single thought. You need only to ask it."

I opened my eyes, staring at the black colored ceiling.

"Yes, you could easily give me that."

"Then, why do you hesitate?"

"Do you think I would be content in knowing that it took a Sin to force Him back into my arms?"

Trowa's essence filled my stomach with unease. He spoke in his stoic voice. "You should not envy that which you cannot help. It was never any fault of yours that He was not meant for you."

A burst of laughter strained itself out of my throat. "You---you of all entities, telling me that I should not be envious? You mock me."

"I speak only what you do not wish to hear."

Duo sighed. "You've truly lost your passion. You've become completely mortal."

"Why do you say that?"

He placed his hands in his lap, a measure of sadness creeping into his demeanor.

"Because you have forsaken your last thread of soul for that woman. You've become immune to my control. You belong to Hope---and to Love."

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Well goddamn. It's been something like two years since I updated this fic. And there is no reason for it since I have up to chapter ten written. In the coming days I shall upload the rest of the chapters and then leave it at that. After all of this time I still retain fondness for this story and I hope some of you do as well.

The earlier chapters have also been edited so that format remains constant and there are a few changes within them so if you're terribly bored, you could always re-read them. Once again thanks to anyone who bothered to read my work and who I've disappointed for whatever reasons. Thanks go out to Crary and Killraven, as always.