Overboard

Steady beeping on the monitor
IV lines snaking through
Narcotics drugging to lull
Knowing I've had a few

I remember it clearly
As though it was yesterday
Lights blaring, punches flying
And drinks along the way

Popped a few every now and then
Just barely enough to stand
One last hit and all was lost
Toppled down, drink in hand

I have been overboard
Though I had always knew
Never been the one to admit
Thinking it's only a few
I am still overboard
Though harder to keep inside
All the pain and anger showing
Getting difficul to hide

Back in the day, t'was different
A side I haven't shown
I had everything I wanted
All I get to own

But with one spark of the fire
All that I gained was lost
The warmth was gone
Replaced to icy cold frost

I have been overboard
Though I had always knew
I still am overboard
Thinking it's only a few

Now I stare through my window
Watching autumn leaves fall
And I sit on a lonely chair in a room so dark and empty
and think about the days when I had it all

I have always been overboard
Cuts still fresh, still I fought
Blood pulsng through my veins
Popping one more for thought
I am still overboard
There's sno turning back now
I will always stay overboard
To stop, I know not how