I edited a bit in this chapter.


Fanfiction University of Fowl

Chibis are not from the Artemis Fowl books.

Chapter Three: Orientation and Introduction of Faculty and Canon Characters

As Rosemary stared at Miss Kasey, she could feel a chill creeping up her back. Anything that involved Miss Kasey was evil. Miss Kasey's attire was all black, except for the silver edgings at the end of her cloak. In additon to her cloak were: black pants, and a black blouse. Her shoes looked like black leather high-heeled boots. Black was omnious. Plus there was a menancing gleam in her dark brown eyes.

"Welcome students, to your one-and-only experience year at FUOF. My name is Miss Kasey, incase you have forgotten," there was a slight undertone to that, as if saying, 'NO ONE forgets my name'. In any case, no one had forgotten Miss Kasey's name.

"I am the course coordinator of FUOF. You will not meet the Headmaster, yet anyway. However, I will introduce you to the rest of the faculty and Canon Characters," she frowned as some girls sighed and swooned, "no more stampeding. None of the Canon Characters appreciates glomping. There will me mini-trolls scattered about the Auditorium on the look-out." Her smile was similar to Artemis'. Almost vampiric.

Spending all that time with him in this maniac place must have affected her, thought Rosemary, mental note: No glomping Artemis this time.

"When our teachers and other members in authority have been introduced, Miss Liana and Miss (ashley) will call out your names. Come up to receive your schedule."

Whispers coursed throughout the auditorium. Ichigo leaned over and whispered, "I wonder if the rest of the faculty is as weird as Miss Kasey."

"I don't doubt it," Rosemary murmured back.

A girl by the name of Laura Hasnol leaned over and whispered, "D'you think I should risk glomping Artemis? I mean, he's so hot!"

Rosemary's eyes clouded over dreamily, "Yeah, I was wondering about that too. D'you want to try it together?"

Laura stuck out a hand to shake. "Deal," she whispered.

Suddenly, Rosemary felt a piercing look on her, and silence all around her. She and Laura had been the only ones talking for the last few minutes. She slowly raised a frightened face to look at Miss Kasey. The course coordinator's black eyes bore into her like lasers. Rosemary cowered. Apparently satisfied, the eyes moved away to torture Laura Hasnol.

"As I was saying," Miss Kasey said icily, "The faculty will come first. Miss (ashley) the Administrative Assistant and Book Instructor," a blond lady came on stage, clad in a white cloak, for a change. Her smile and her hazel eyes wasn't quite as icy as Miss Kasey's. Rosemary felt a little sprout of hope. Maybe this Miss (ashley) would be nice, along with Miss Liana…..

"Miss (ashley) is our What It Feels To Be Nice director. She is a very sweet and kind lady. However, make her mad, and you will feel very sorry for yourselves."

Rosemary winced. Oops. I take back what I just thought, Rosemary said to herself.

"Miss Shyan," announced Miss Kasey, "My mini-trolls director."

This lady was as quite as intimidating as Miss Kasey, but didn't fully have that very threatening aura of complete authority. She was clad in a black cloak with white lining, and her hood shadowed her face. But the two blue points that were her eyes held promises of pain and torture.

"My assistant secretary," said Miss Kasey, "Miss Liana."

Rosemary had seen Miss Liana before. Before, she had been without a cloak. But for the occasion, or, supposed Rosemary, Miss Kasey's will, Miss Liana had donned a dark green cloak.

"Miss Liana," said Miss Kasey with a slight cough, "Is our sometimes-assistant secretary, along with being Butler's Athletic Assisstant and she is usually very hyper. Along with Miss Kira. You shall be reminded constantly, that Miss Liana's pet chibis are to be left alone. Along with the mini-trolls, chibis guard the Canon Characters.

"Miss Kira," said Miss Kasey, now with a slightly disturbed air, "is also a hyper lady. She has the position of Uniforms Mistress." Miss Kira sauntered onstage, dark blue cloak swirling around her.

"Master James," said Miss Kasey, brightening up, "The only male un-Canon faculty member. His position is very special. He is the Behavior co-Director, along with his assistant, Miss Shyan. I am the other co-Director. That's all I'm telling you for now."

A man in about is early twenties –just like the rest of the faculty- appeared. He was dark-haired, and his very air was jovial and wicked at the same time. Well, jovial 2 and 98 wicked. His cloak was burgundy.

"Now, the Canon characters," resumed Miss Kasey, "Our respected Commander Root."
The red-faced elf came on, blowing on a cigar. He glared at the students, appropriately intimidating them.

"Captain Holly Short."

The elf came on from the wings, and looking at all the students, her hand mechanically strayed towards her Neutrino. Rosemary cringed.

"Captain Kelp."

"Foaly."

"AHHHHH!" Tara H. and goodness knows who else screamed. LOUDLY. Mini-trolls began clambering towards the Foaly Fans.

Miss Kasey glared. "As I said, no glomping. And No Screaming. Ahem. Now, ex-commander Cudgeon."

And so the list of Canon Characters grew, until they were all standing on stage.

But one was missing.

Rosemary's eyes were watering, and she clung to her seat. What had happened to her beloved, darling, Artemis? Was he sick? Was he dying? Had he finally gotten captured and was in jail?

"And the person everyone has been waiting for," said Miss Kasey in a low and threatening tone, "Our gracious Main Character, Artemis Fowl."

The pale young man walked on stage. As soon as his feet were in sight, the whole auditorium burst into cheers and screams. Rosemary clutched at her hair, shrieking and clambering over people to get to her beloved, Laura Hasnol right beside her.

"Ow!" Rosemary felt like her head was being bashed with a club. Actually, it was being bashed with a club. Or, the butt of a rifle from a mini-troll.

"Ooww," Rosemary ignored the pain and sought Artemis. She had better luck than most, and was actually clawing up the stage when a icily cold voice stopped her. Miss Kasey was right above her, and her black eyes pierced straight through Rosemary.

"Artmis," called Miss Kasey, "If you'd be so kind as to…." Miss Kasey gestured to Rosemary, smiling maliciously.

The mini-troll scrambled over to Rosemary and began chasing her. Rosemary screamed, and ran as fast as her legs would carry her. But glancing back, she tripped over another fangirl's foot. Then Artmis the Mini-troll caught up. Rosemary cowered as Artmis began laying about with the mini-trolls' special Hit-the-Students stick.

Finally, when the residents of the auditorium had been herded into some semblence of order, Miss Kasey ordered them all into two lines down the aisles. Artemis had disappeared from sight, to the extreme disappointment of Rosemary and all the other Arty-fangirls.

Miss (ashley) and Miss Liana began passing out stacks of paper and leaflets. Miss Kasey observed the quaking students with a wary eye. Now that the Lust Object was out of sight, the girls should be controlled, but you never knew with fangirls.

"Where's Butler!" two shrill, panicked voices called out at the same time. "I want him!"

Miss Kasey shot the two, Pepaza Kines and Jenna Glass, a very dark look. "Butler is unavailable right now, as he is dealing with some of the Canon Characters who refuse to come onstage. Mainly, Mr. Spiro and Juliet. Mr. Spiro is now fangirlphobic, and Juliet says she's too busy."

Jenna Glass elbowed her way to the front. "But Butler's my hunny-bunny! (AN: honey is misspelled purposely)"

"No, he's mine!" a clamor rose up in the room. Rosemary frowned. "Why would anyone lust Butler?" she asked Laura Hasnol, "I mean, he's Arty's bodyguard, and he turned into like this fifty-year-old."

"Age doesn't matter," said Miss (ashley), appearing suddenly behind Laura and Rosemary, "To fangirls. No wonder Spiro had fangirlphobia."

"EVERYBODY SHUT UP!" Commander Root bellowed. His face was, if that was possible, redder than a tomato's. The students took the hint and shut up.

"Thank you," said Miss Kasey, taking over. Her cloak swished as she moved about the stage, "We have explained Butler's absence, as well as Juliet's. Now that Miss Liana and Miss (ashley) has passed out your schedules, Introductory Classes start tomorrow. Good night. Your Wing Director will supervise you after classes."

With muted mutterings, the girls were herded by various faculty and un-lusted after Canon Characters into the other parts of the gigantic mansion.

Rosemary's group was taken to the South Wing. It was painted entirely black, with only wax candles lighting the way. Rosemary felt like she had been transported into some fifteenth century dungeon.

"The South Wing students will await their Wing Director," a loud, wheezy voice said over the P.A. System. Their chatter grew louder and louder, until the din was almost unbearable. Suddenly, a silence settled down until everyone was quiet.

"Miss Shyan and I will be your Wing Supervisor," said Miss Kasey's icy voice, "As your own resigned from FUOF last week."

Rosemary stared in horror at the two shadows looming from the end of the hall. MISS KASEY AND MISS SHYAN WAS THEIR WING DIRECTOR?

The other girls' mouths were open, but all were too frightened to make a sound. They filed in obediently into the dormitories, and mechanically lay down on the bunk beds.

"Have a nice night," said Miss Shyan's voice, maliciously sweet, as she turned the lights off and closed the door.

Everyone screamed simultaneously.