ENROLLMENT IS STILL OPEN TO ALL PEOPLE. PLEASE SEND IT TO ME IN AN EMAIL, NOT A REVIEW. The more students, the merrier….for the faculty anyway. I have doubts for the students..

But still, Enroll!

Hurrahhurrah: Yeah, it did. It basically sums down to: either some jerk deleted it, someone with a good reason deleted it, or ff. net took it down. Why I have no idea. Thanks for reviewing!

BeatlesLover: evil smirk Oh, those dear fangirls…..I'm sure nothing cough-maybe- cough drastic happened to them….

PeregrineBlue: Cheers: Yay! I'm soo glad you liked it. Read on!

The Blazing Blade: Awesome account name. Sorry about beating you to the story. I hope you're satisfied with the story and it sort of makes up for that. No, no one evil's in charge of applications. Actually, I take care of them myself. So, no worry there. Glomping means like the usual fangirl antics…stampeding, etc. You know. Miss Ashley's name in brackets was an accident. I meant to change her name to something else, so it was in brackets for the time being, and then I forgot to change it. It's one of my friends' name, and when I told her I'd accidentally uploaded like that, she said it was ok. Thanks for you wonderful reviews.

PeanutButterOreoCookieGirl: Yipeee! So glad you liked the chapter, and as I told Peregrine Blue, READ ON!

Special Thanks to all my other reviewers before this story got taken of You get my special thanks.


Fanfiction University of Fowl

Chapter Five: Down the creepy tunnel

Rosemary groaned, and rubbed her eyes blindly. Not that it helped clear her vision or anything. The dungeon was pitch-black. Or blacker than pitch-black, if that was possible.

Someone started giggling. It was Loremaster of Anorien, who was neurotic and prone to giggling under extreme stress. And this was definitely a condition of extremely dire stress.

"Rosemary?" Marsnmonkey Jones whispered next to her, "Is that you?"

"Yes," Rosemary whispered back, "What's happening?"

"I think we're in a dungeon," Everworld whispered from her other side.

"Really," said Juli Sanders, a vampire, sarcastically from another part of the room. Even her snow-white fangs couldn't gleam in the heavy darkness "I hadn't noticed,"

"Uh-oh," said Rosemary, "Does anyone have a watch?"

"I do," said someone from the other side of the dungeon. A light lit up and barely pierced through the gloom as someone looked at their digital watch. "It's eight thirty- oh shoot!"

"What?" everyone else shouted from each side of the dungeon.

"We've missed the start of Introductory Classes!" the someone wailed.

Everyone was silent. Rosemary froze, shocked beyond horror. Miss Kasey, Shyan, and Ashley had at some point, impressed upon them that classes were not to be missed. Ever.

Rosemary was the first one to scream. After about five minutes of screaming, everyone had partially calmed down.

"So how do we get out of here?" asked Juli Sanders.

"I don't KNOW!" Laura Hasnol screamed.

"Is there an opening?" asked Rosemary. At that same time, Marsnmonkey Jones yelled, "Hey I found something!"

They stampeded over to where Marsnmonkey Jones was standing. True enough, there was a gap in the stones, leading down a tunnel.

"D'you think it's safe down there?" Loremaster of Anorien asked.

"No," answered Rosemary, "But haven't we got to take the chance?"

"Sure," Juli Sanders said with a sigh, "it's a damn sight better than getting killed by mini-trolls."

"Sooooo…." Rosemary dragged the word out, "Who wants to go down the creepy tunnel first?"

Everyone pointed at Rosemary.

"I guess it's me," Rosemary muttered, "D'you think Arty's going to come and save us?" she added to Laura Hasnol.

"I wish…" Laura's eyes glazed over as she envisioned Artemis coming down with a torch in hand, in all his glory, and saying "Laura Hasnol, I, Artemis Fowl the second, have come to rescue you from the, er…badness…of this dungeon."

Rosemary stuck a cautious foot inside the tunnel. She sent a quick prayer up to heaven, mentally asked Artemis to come down here immediately, and began her journey down the creepy tunnel.

Hey, it wasn't called 'Mini-Trolls' Lair' for nothing. And Juli Sanders, going down the tunnel wasn't a damn sight better than staying to get killed by the domestic mini-trolls...


Meanwhile……

In the teacher's lounge, Miss Kasey had set up a visual of the fangirls for them, and a mind-reader. They were chuckling, when a voice came from the mind-reader.

"Warning," said a robotic voice, "From the mind of Laura Hasnol, about Master Artemis Fowl the Second."

Artemis stiffened. The voice changed to Laura Hasnol's voice (Miss Kasey had recorded everyone's voice on the first day), and said.

"Laura Hasnol, I, Artemis Fowl the Second, have come to rescue you from the, er….badness….of this dungeon." With a click, the mind-reader went back to scanning.

"What?" Artemis said, "a torch?"

"A flashlight works just as well," Miss Ashley muttered, and the faculty smiled.

"I would never rescue a fangirl," Artemis continued with determination,

"Of course," Miss Kira snorted.

"And," Artemis finished triumphantly, "The word 'bad' does not have a position of elevated honor among my eloquent and prestigious vocabulary."

"Could you repeat that again, and more slowly?" a random goblin, an extra for a few lessons, had suddenly appeared in the teacher's lounge.

"Shoo," Miss Kasey waved a hand lazily at the goblin.

"Yes Head Coordinator," he mumbled, and left.

"Oh look," Holly said gleefully, pointing at the visual, "They're coming to the good part.."

Rosemary and the other Arty-fangirls were wading through thick, heavy muck when Rosemary felt something grab her feet. Cautiously, she lifted her foot and peered closely.

Snap!

"AHAAAHAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Rosemary screamed and tumbled back, shaking her foot. A mini-troll was latched onto her foot, and had bitten the end of her nose.

At this scream, the other mini-trolls were awakened….and well….leave that to your imagination.

Poor girls. It's never fun to go down the Mini-Trolls' Lair without a light.

Especially, (insert wicked smile) when they're not potty-trained.


A/N: Ok. That potty-train thing was just one of those spur-of-the-moment humors. Trust me, it'll play a big part. Muahahahahahaha.

Okay, back to normal, now pwease wewiew? (now, that was not normal)

P.S. If you notice a line from the movie 'National Treasure' in the chapter, tell me who it was said by, and i'll dedicate a chapter to you. A whole chapter of FUOF written for specifically 'you'. If you find the line..that is. And NO PEEKING AT OTHER REVIEWS!. The first three people who get this right will win the prize!

PPS. You don't have to send it in an email. Just review. Thank ya!