Thanks to all my reviewers, of course, and..

Yeah, Midnight Black, you get to be Rosemary's roommate!

Congrats to: (in the order you replied)

Gold: Rocketgirl727981

Silver: Sapphire Artemis

Bronze: Falling star9

This chapter is dedicated to them

White Ribbon: Loremaster of Anorien

The..err..title is dedicated to her

Chapter Six: Late Classes and Punishments

About a dozen girls stumbled into the yard of FUOF, covered in all sorts of filth. They staggered, then dropped onto the grass, moaning.

"I," gasped Rosemary, "hate that place."

Akiralifted her head an inch. "No kidding," she muttered.

A gleeful chuckle came from a few feet away. Miss Ashley stood there, smirking. "That's why, m'dears, it's called 'The Lair of the Mini-Trolls'."

"I knew there was something wrong about that place," muttered Midnight Black.

"Anyway," continued Miss Ashley, "Classes have started four hours ago. For your sake, we canceled them, but since you are here, I advise you to go wash up, and hurry. Miss Kasey and Miss Shyan certainly does not like to be kept waiting. Neither do I.Understand?"

The girls nodded. Mutely, they dragged their jaded bodies into various washing rooms, where the hot steam and clear, running water cleansed them. Shrugging into their clean set of uniforms. Running, Rosemary and her roommate, Midnight Black, reached the Mess Hall (Miss Kasey preferred militaristic names) at breakneck pace.

Miss Kasey stood on a raised platform, attired in her silver-lined black cloak, black pants, and a silken black shirt. She tapped her microphone. It made rough whooshing sounds.

"Good." Miss Kasey said crisply, "Now that you are all here, I would like to say that Introductory Classes are resumed. Since you have received your schedules with your books from Miss Ashley, I would like for you to head to your first class. All students who has 'True Sarcasm' from Artemis Fowl, please follow Miss Shyan. Shyan, I trust you'll keep them in line?" Miss Kasey turned sharply towards the cloaked figure in the side. Miss Shyan nodded.

"Excellent. You may go. Scram, kids," Miss Kasey glared at all of them.

Rosemary had 'True Sarcasm' first. She made a beeline after Miss Shyan, hiding behind Isa.

"Artemis is teaching this class," Isa whispered excitedly, "He's soooo hot!"

At the mention of her precious darling, Rosemary forgot all about Miss Shyan, and almost jumped straight into the air. "Artemis?" she whispered back, "I know, he's just…arrgh…he's just.."

"Hot?" supplied Sylfie, who was listening to Isa and Rosemary's conversation.

They all nodded fervently.

As Miss Shyan stopped suddenly, Vida Green, who was right behind her, stopped to remain at least a foot away from the Mini-Trolls director. This caused everyone behind her to stumble like dominoes, and in this case, Rosemary crashed straight into Isa's back.

Miss Shyan opened a door, smiling. "Artemis, your class has arrived."

A panicked voice carried through the door. "Er, Shyan? Could you keep them for a few minutes?"

"Artemis, that is so unlike yourself. You are acting childishly. I'm sending them in." Miss Shyan moved, unblocking the doorway, and the girls streamed in. Well, girl and a boy, David. He looked disgusted at the fangirls' behavior, and with his nose high in the air, entered the room.

Artemis had regained his composure, and was every Fowl Fanatic's dream. He wore his Armani suit, and his blue eyes stared piercingly at them.

"Sit," he commanded, and the girls sat, drool hanging from the side of their mouths, and making cow-eyes at Artemis.

"You," he pointed at Jayde, who was mooning over him on the front row, "Come up here."

Jayde scampered up the isle, shooting smug glances at the other girls. Fortunately, they had managed to restrain their glomping, and was listening to the sound of his voice with dreamy eyes and soft sighs.

"Jayde. If you were in a situation, say, where one of these girls got hit by a car, she's bleeding all over, she's got a coma, and has all sorts of needles stuck in her at the hospital, and someone says, 'She's hurt bad', what would you reply?"

Jayde looked dumbstruck. She normally wasn't..er..stupid..er, but in front of Artemis, she was tongue-tied.

"Um," she said, still looking dreamily at Artemis, who glared at her with icy eyes, "I love Artemis!" she squealed.

Artemis turned away, and tapped his finger on his podium. "Sit down, Miss Jayde. I require an answer that has no passion. Miss Williams, come."

Rosemary flounced up the isle, shooting smirks at the other crestfallen girls. She scooted close to Artemis, who shot her a frigid glare. She drooled.

"Miss Williams, what would you have said in Miss Jayde's place?" he asked her, his voice aloof. Now he was beginning to wish that he had brought Artimes along, no matter how protective those Mini-Trolls were.

Rosemary gazed at Artemis with a hazy brain. "Huh?" she asked, taking a step closer to her Lust Object.

"What would you have done in Miss Jayde's place?" he repeated the question, looking extremely irritated.

"Um. I LOVE YOU, ARTY!" She shrieked and flung herself on top of Artemis. Immediately, a Mini crashed through the window and latched itself onto Rosemary's hair. Artemis sighed in relief. Artimes had come to the rescue.

Rosemary was still shrieking, the Mini-Troll clubbing her on top of her head with its Neutrino. It cocked the gun to fire, and Rosemary ducked. The shot missed, and sailed out the broken window.

Artemis looked at the havoc reigning in his classroom, and pressed a button on his desk. It was bright red and read 'Fangirl Alarm. Press if Needed'.

A few seconds later, the door was wrenched open and banged against the wall outside with a resounding crash. The fangirls still persisted, however, and Artemis was defending himself with his book.

"SILENCE!" Miss Kasey roared, and everyone except the fangirls stood stock-still. Miss Shyan blew an ear-piercing whistle, and various Mini-Trolls flew into the room, wings attached. They began clubbing the fangirls, and slowly, they loosened their death grip on Artemis.

Artemis smiled weakly at Miss Kasey and Shyan. "I very much appreciated that," he said shakily, "Now, if you would please leave me to teach?"

Miss Kasey smiled, and Miss Shyan chuckled. "Do you want some duck tape, Artemis?"

Artemis turned a slight shade of pink. "I'm fine, thank you. Now please, leave me to teach."

Rosemary's mind was still screaming at her to either glomp Artemis or leave the room, but she held on. Barely. She leaned over to Tennessee, who was sitting behind her, and whispered, "Duck tape?"

Tennessee nodded. "You know, to tape us to our seats?" she reminded Rosemary.

"Oh." Rosemary turned back around, to find Artemis' cold blue glare on her.

"Miss Williams, you will have detention with Master James tonight, eight o'clock sharp." Artemis said almost resignedly. The bell rang, and the door opened. Miss Kasey stood there, flanked by three Mini-Trolls. She smiled at the students.

"Come with me. It's time for your next class, and I will be your escort."


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