Part III

Chapter 1

Jack caught the ball easily. He wanted his father to throw harder. He liked grounders and high ones but his dad seemed distracted. Mark Bauer had quickly agreed when his son asked him to play catch but he seemed miles away. Jack didn't take it personally. He knew his dad really wanted to just veg out, but he tried to be available to his son whenever he was home, and Jack appreciated it.

His mom watched through the kitchen window. She taught at the base school while Jack and his younger sister Carol were in class. He knew that his mother worked hard, although the concept of balancing work with family had not yet been described as such.

Jack was proud of his father, too. Mark Bauer had been transferred, and now commanded an army base in Europe, and although he worked very hard he always tried to make time for his son. He attended as many of Jack's school plays and Little League games as he possibly could, and now that Jack was learning hockey he tried to get to his scrimmages, while seeing Carol's plays and dance recitals with the same devotion. Neither Mark nor Janet missed a conference with their children's teachers. They treated their children equally. Both believed that girls should have the same opportunities as boys, and although Mark was base commander and was not directly responsible for the children who lived on the base, he exerted what influence he could to see that girls were not short-changed. Carol would be eligible for Little League as soon as she was old enough. And if she wanted to learn hockey, well, he'd see about that, too.

Jack was as happy as a nine-year-old boy could be. He thought that his parents babied him, that they tried to protect him all of the time and that almost made him angry, but he knew his parents only wanted what was best for him. Some of his friends hardly saw their parents. A lot of the kids' parents were divorced, and the courts still mostly gave custody of kids to their mothers, so if their moms weren't in the military they returned to the United States. Because of that they only saw their dads when they had leave. That struck Jack as very sad. He was glad his parents were together. There was no screaming or yelling in his house, and any disagreements between his mother and father, which were rare, were resolved quickly, and peacefully. And his dad was home whenever it was possible. Jack wasn't being pulled in two directions. He didn't have to favor one of his parents over the other.

Jack asked his dad if he could try some batting practice, and Mark said yes, wearily. Jack realized how tired his father was and quickly changed his mind. He said, "You know what, Dad, I think I'd really like to hit some tennis balls against the wall." Mark Bauer readily agreed, not realizing his nine-year-old son was perceptive enough to pick up on his fatigue. Jack went to the garage to get his racquet and a ball while Mark went inside. Jack went to the side of the garage where there was no window, and Mark settled into his recliner where he quickly fell asleep.

Jack was becoming pretty good at tennis. Most of his friends weren't interested in it, though, so he rarely got a chance to play. He decided to practice his serve, but without a net there he couldn't tell if he was hitting it right. The only real practice he got was when one of his parents could spare the time to play with him, and that wasn't very often. They gave their son whatever they could, including their attention, but even that had limits.

A new kid had moved in down the block, and Jack saw him leave his house, baseball glove in hand. The boy, Mike, called out to him, "Hey, Jack, wanna play some catch?" Jack quickly said, "Sure, Mike. I'll get my glove."

Jack went into the garage and exchanged his racquet for his glove and walked towards the other boy. They stood in the quiet street and threw the ball to each other. They threw harder with each toss, and soon they settled into a rhythm, each boy trying to outdo the other. Whatever he played, no matter what the sport, Jack always tried to win, and he usually did. He was a very good athlete.

After twenty minutes on that hot day both boys decided they'd had enough. Jack asked Mike if he wanted to go swimming and Mike quickly said yes. Mike hadn't yet been to the pool on the base. Jack would have loved to go to the pool more often, but his parents said no unless there was what they called a 'responsible adult' present. They didn't believe a child belonged in a pool without an adult to watch him, even when there were lifeguards. Jack thought they were being over-protective, as usual, but it wasn't in his nature to challenge them. He obeyed their rules, even though he thought they still treated him like a baby. He didn't need a babysitter anymore, but they insisted. There were a bunch of rules, and Jack accepted most of them, but there were some he was determined to change, starting with the babysitter.

Mike said his parents had said he could go swimming, so Jack's mom said he could go to the pool with his new friend. She knew that some of her friends were there with their kids and they would watch after Jack. He raced into his bedroom to change, which he seemed to do in less than 30 seconds. Grabbing the towel his mother handed him, he was out the door and at Mike's house at a run.

Jack and Mike splashed and jumped and played tag in the pool for over an hour. Then Mike's father came to the pool. He was in uniform, so he clearly had been at work. "Where's your mom, Son?" the man asked.

"She went to play golf this morning, Dad," Mike replied. "She left before I got up."

"Did she say when she'd be home?" Mike's dad asked.

Jack was surprised when Mike said, "Nah, her note said just to find some friends to hang out with."

"Okay," said his father. "Just keep busy. Mom and I are going out for dinner. There's pizza in the freezer."

Jack couldn't believe that Mike had gone swimming without his parents' permission, without them at least knowing about it, especially since Mike had said his parents knew he had gone to the pool. Jack wouldn't dream of going swimming without his parents' okay, and he was upset that Mike had lied to him. Jack was honest by nature, and it would never occur to him to lie, even to another boy. He became uncomfortable there with Mike, so he told Mike he had to go and headed for home.

Jack didn't want to mislead his mother, so he told her that Mike's parents hadn't really given him permission to go to swimming. Mike's father hadn't been upset to see Mike and Jack in the pool when Mike's mother wasn't there, hadn't even known that Mike had gone swimming. Mrs. Bauer wasn't happy with what Jack told her, but she was proud of him for telling her the truth. She wasn't sure she wanted Jack to spend time with Mike. Of her son she thought, he's going to be a good man. Truthful, and concerned for others. That's important. She and Mark were raising a fine young man.

Jack went to his room, stripped off his bathing suit and headed for the shower. He liked his blonde hair; he knew the girls, who he was beginning to think were human, said it was cute, and he wanted to get the chlorine out of it. The stuff made it feel ycchy, too. Letting it stay in would make your hair turn green, he'd heard. Ycch, he thought again.

As he toweled off Jack saw himself in the mirror. I'm a man, he thought proudly. I'm finally growing hair, and everything is definitely bigger. He checked himself whenever he showered. The changes weren't very noticeable, he allowed, because he took a shower every day, but they were definitely there. Finally, he thought. He'd been afraid puberty would never come.

Mike invited him to sleep over, but Jack's mom said no. She knew that a grown-up wouldn't be there, but she told Jack he could invite Mike to stay at their house. Mike said he didn't have to check with his parents, but Mrs. Bauer insisted on speaking with Mike's father to make sure it was okay for Mike to stay. But since Mike didn't know where his parents had gone for dinner Mrs. Bauer relented, although she insisted that Mike leave a note for his parents telling them where he was.

Jack thought Mike's parents' attitude was strange. He could never stay out without his mom or dad's okay, and he began to feel sorry for Mike. It seemed like his parents didn't care what he did. Jack began to think that maybe the restrictions his parents put on him weren't so bad, although he drew the line at the babysitter. At least they were concerned about him. Jack didn't think Mike's parents were.

When Mike got to his house around six Jack's mom invited him to have dinner with them, and Mike happily agreed. He told Jack that all he'd have had for dinner at home was pizza, which his mom always kept in the freezer so Mike would have something to eat when she and his dad weren't home, which was most of the time. Sometimes Mike even had the stuff when his dad was there because his father didn't like to cook, and Mike was getting pretty tired of it. Mike hadn't thought it could ever happen but he was sick of pizza. He wished his mom was home more so she'd cook dinner at least some of the time, but she seemed more interested in her bridge games and golf and meeting her friends at the local watering hole. Half the time Mike didn't even know where she went, so he resented her absences even more. It wasn't like she was working. Besides, Mike's father was in Military Intelligence, and he too was frequently absent from home. He wanted to think that his folks trusted him, and that was why they left him on his own so much, but deep down he thought it was because they didn't even care. That hurt, all the more so when he saw how Jack's parents always seemed to be there for him. He saw the difference between his family and Jack's, and his was definitely wanting. He envied his friend, but there was nothing he could do about it but hope that Jack's parents would include him more.

They sat down to a dinner of salad, roast chicken and mashed potatoes, with broccoli that neither Mike nor Jack liked, but Jack knew that his parents were serious about vegetables, so he'd learned to eat them without complaining. Mike followed Jack's lead and finished everything on his plate. Jack's mom is a good cook, Mike thought. When he tasted the brownies she served for dessert Mike thought he'd fallen in love. She's really nice, Mike thought about Jack's mother. And she's a great cook. I wish my mom would do this. It'd be nice to be taken care of. Even if it was only once in a while.

The boys stayed up pretty late, laughing and joking about school, girls, other guys, everything. Mike was new to the neighborhood, new to the school, so he didn't yet know about Jack's increasing interest in girls. If he'd teased Jack about it Jack would've probably flattened him.

Chapter 2

The next morning Mike headed home while Jack got ready for church. That was another thing. Mike's parents never went to church; Mike never had to go to Sunday School, or have any religious instruction. Although Mike had always felt lucky to be spared that he felt a pang of envy when he saw that Jack accepted it as a matter of course. His parents expect things of him, Mike saw with wisdom greater than most nine-year-old's, and mine don't. They don't care what I do. The thought made him angry, and bitter. Why don't I have a family that cares about me?

Mike thought Jack didn't appreciate how lucky he was, but Mike was wrong. Jack saw how so many of his friends had families who didn't seem to care, or whose parents weren't together, and they over-indulged their kids in order to get them to love them. Jack was mature enough to perceive that these parents were trying to buy their kids' love, and he couldn't understand how they thought that would work. The more he learned of Mike's family life the more he began to appreciate the rules his parents had for him, and he realized that they weren't trying to baby him; they just wanted to protect him.

Mike asked Jack if he wanted to go swimming when he got home from church, but Janet was concerned about Mike, so she told Jack he couldn't go. She realized this was unfair to Jack, but she had to consider another child's safety, and she knew that Jack would agree. Besides, dinner after church was an inviolable rule. He didn't ask his mother first, but Jack invited Mike to join them for Sunday dinner. He knew his parents wouldn't mind. He realized that they, too, felt sorry for Mike. They'd seen how alone he was when he'd so eagerly had dinner with them the night before.

They were in the middle of summer vacation, and Jack was about to start baseball camp for a week. He'd gone to the same camp the year before, and he'd never stopped talking about it. He thought it was one of the best times he'd ever had, and he was looking forward to another experience just as great.

When Jack told Mike about the camp Mike was jealous. He never got to do anything like that. And it wasn't because his parents couldn't afford it. They just didn't think of things that he would like. On his birthday his parents got him a store-bought cake and gave him money so he could get himself a present at the PX. Christmas wasn't any better. They just gave him more money and he put his own presents under the tree. He always got them presents, though. He was glad to do it, but it made him feel sorry for himself.

When they managed to have a meal together Mike's parents talked to each other about their own interests. They usually managed a perfunctory "how's school," or "how was your day" or something like that, but it didn't seem to him that they even cared about his answers. At breakfast one morning he said that he'd been beaten up by a girl the day before, something that wasn't true, but he said it just because he wanted to see their reaction. There wasn't any.

Mike tried to tell his parents about the baseball camp Jack was going to, but he couldn't get them to listen. They were going to play golf and then they'd be off to some adults-only barbecue that their friends were having, and Mike was upset that they didn't seem to care that he was excluded. They told Mike they'd be home late, and that there was pizza in the freezer for his dinner. Mike groaned to himself and hoped that Jack could play with him. Otherwise it would just be another day in front of the TV, or maybe computer games. Even during the school year they never checked to see if he had done his homework. He always did it, though; he was a smart boy, and a good student. Even though he was only nine he couldn't wait to go away to college. He couldn't wait to leave home.

Mike made up his mind that he had to get away. He couldn't wait another nine years until he graduated from high school. After his parents left Mike got out a small suitcase and packed his clothes. He even remembered his toothbrush; he was really moving out. When he had finished putting his things together he sat on his bed. He didn't know where to go. He was nine years old, on a military base, in a foreign country, and he didn't speak the language. He couldn't just walk out of the gate.

It was a really hot day, and Mike decided to go swimming before he left. He pulled his bathing suit from the suitcase he'd already packed, and headed for the pool.

He was lonely even in the pool. Without someone to play tag with or to try to out-do with cannonballs he was bored very quickly. He went back to his house and dressed, still wondering where he could go. He hadn't spent the last 20 his parents had given him for his birthday, so he put it in his pocket, took his valise, and left the house.

He found himself heading down the street to Jack's. Although Janet wasn't teaching during the summer she volunteered to read to the patients at the base hospital, and Carol was in daycare. Mark had gone to work, so Jack's babysitter, Melissa, was there. As Mike got there he saw Jack and Melissa heading toward the school, carrying tennis racquets and a can of balls.

"Hey, Jack!" they heard. Mike was running to catch up to them. Jack saw his suitcase and called out, "Mike, are you going away? On vacation? Where're you going?"

Mike had forgotten he was carrying his bag. "Um, nowhere, Jack," he said, not wanting to tell his friend yet that he was running away. He had plenty of time. Maybe he could play first.

"You wanna go with us to the tennis court?" Jack asked. "Do you know how to play?"

"No," Mike replied. "Will you teach me?"

"Sure," Jack said, "but I'm not very good yet. Melissa can teach you. She's really good. She's on the high school team." He looked at Melissa, who nodded.

"I'll be glad to, Mike. Do you have a racquet?"

"No," he replied. "Can I use yours, Jack?"

"Sure," Jack said again, although he treasured his new racquet. "Here."

Mike and Melissa walked onto the court, where Melissa showed him how to hold the racquet. Then she showed him how to swing it, and where the ball should hit it.

"Jack, why don't we hit a few times, so Mike can see what I mean."

"Sure, Mel," Jack said, taking the racquet from Mike. Then he walked to the opposite side of the court.

Melissa hit a few soft shots to Jack, who hit them back easily. "See, Mike, don't try to kill it," she said. "Just swing through and let your racquet do the work. When you get the hang of it you can use power."

"Here, Mike," Jack said, handing Mike his racquet. Jack loved that racquet. His parents had gotten it for him for his ninth birthday. It was his first full-size racquet, no more kid stuff for him. He hoped Mike wouldn't scuff it up.

Mike missed the first few balls but then he connected, although what hit the ball was actually the frame. Still, he was encouraged that he'd actually made contact, and he slowly became more comfortable as his own natural athleticism came through. But Jack was getting restless, and although he'd never admit it, he was getting jealous of the attention Melissa was giving to Mike.

Melissa seemed to sense this. "Jack, why don't you take my racquet and hit with Mike?" she asked.

"Actually, Mel, I'd rather use my own. Can Mike use yours?"

"Sure, Jack. Here, Mike. Take my racquet."

Jack took Melissa's place on the base line and hit the ball as hard as he could. It sailed past Mike, who didn't even take a swing. He just looked at the ball that came zooming by him, and then looked at his friend.

"Sorry, Mike," Jack said, but he didn't really mean it. Mike might be as good as Jack at catch and swimming, but Jack was determined to show Mike that he wasn't as good as Jack at everything.

Jack hit the next ball just as hard. Mike swung at that one but didn't even come close. He looked at Jack, getting mad. He knew what his friend was doing.

"Jack, if you don't want to play with me, just say so." Mike put the racquet down on the court and started to walk away.

Jack immediately felt bad. "I'm sorry, Mike," he said. "I was just showing off. I won't do it again. Let's just hit."

After that Jack hit the ball more softly. Mike missed most of the time, but at least he didn't think his friend was trying to show him up. He began to enjoy himself.

Still, after a little while, even though he was hitting the ball a fair amount of the time Mike was getting frustrated, so Mike asked Jack if he wanted to play with Melissa. Jack, who was getting bored, said yes.

Melissa took her racquet back from Mike and started to serve a game. Mike saw that Jack was a pretty good player, but he took satisfaction in seeing that he was losing to Melissa. He was still mad from Jack's earlier attempt to embarrass him.

The heat of the day was setting in, so they started to go back to Jack's house. But Mike had a different idea.

"Why don't we go swimming?" he asked. "There should be plenty of kids there."

"Do you think that'll be all right with your parents, Mike?" Melissa asked. Although she was only Jack's babysitter she had a strong sense of responsibility, and that extended to other children. "Have they given you permission?"

"Yeah," Mike replied. "I went this morning." Jack didn't tell Melissa about Mike's lie the other day.

"Oh, okay," she responded. "But I have to go home for a suit."

"I'll change and meet you at Mike's," Jack said. "We'll see you in a few minutes."

"Uh-uh," she said. "We'll go to my house first, and then we'll go back to yours so you can change."

"Aw, Mel, you don't have to be with me every second. I'm not a baby, you know."

"I know you're not a baby, Jack, but your mom and dad expect me to stay with you. So you're coming with me. You, too, Mike."

Mike looked at them. For once he was glad about how his parents treated him. They knew he didn't need a babysitter.

"I'll meet you at my house," he said. "I don't need someone to watch me."

It was a sore point with Jack, who decided that he wasn't going to let Mike be more independent than he was. "I'll meet you at my house, Mel. It'll only be a few minutes. I can be alone for that long."

"No, Jack. That's not what your parents are paying me for. You come with me, or no pool. I mean it, Jack."

"Aw," Jack started to say, but he saw the way Melissa was looking at him and he realized that she meant it. If he didn't go with her she wouldn't let him go swimming.

"See you soon, Mike," Jack said with resignation. I'll just go with my babysitter, he thought resentfully. I wish they'd stop treating me like a baby!

Chapter 3

As Jack waited impatiently for Melissa to change her mother gave him a glass of lemonade. "Thanks, Mrs. Walker," he said. He was hot and thirsty from tennis and he couldn't wait to get into the pool, but at least the lemonade helped. He kept looking at the stairs, willing Melissa to come down so they could go to Mike's. Eventually she finished changing, and they walked to Jack's house.

"I'll just be a minute," he told her and raced into his room. As always it took him even less time than that to put on his suit. He grabbed a towel and slid down the bannister, something his mother forbad him to do. Sometimes he had to rebel, at least a little. And his mom wasn't home.

"Let's go," he said, and he was out the door. Melissa followed Jack to Mike's.

Mike wasn't there. He had raced to the pool and was already in the water. He had gone down the slide and was grabbing the water basketball as Jack jumped in.

Mike threw the ball to Jack, who aimed at the basket and missed. Mike grinned. At least he could make the shot. Mike was two inches taller than Jack, so he beat him at the game. Jack was miffed, but consoled himself with the thought that Mike couldn't touch him in tennis. He hated to lose at anything, even something as dumb as water basketball, but he wouldn't let Mike know that. Mike might lord it over him, and Jack couldn't take that.

They played in the water until they seemed waterlogged, the skin on their fingers shriveled into ridges. When Melissa told them that they should come out they grabbed their towels and went with her to the snack bar where they had ice cream and watched the other kids still in the pool. "Look at that spaz," Mike said, pointing to a kid who kept missing the basket. "He's a real spastic. He's pathetic."

Jack was taken aback by Mike's statement. One thing he never did was to make fun of other kids, and he was insulted by Mike's description of the other boy. "That's not fair," Jack told Mike. "He's trying as hard as he can. You shouldn't talk about him like that."

Mike got angry. Another kid couldn't criticize him, or worse, tell him what he should or shouldn't say. He felt that Jack wasn't really his friend, and his resolve to leave home returned. There's really nothing to keep me here, he thought. "I've gotta go home, Jack," Mike said, grabbing his suitcase.

Jack watched the new boy walk away, surprised at his reaction. He looked at Melissa, who said, "He's not very happy, is he, Jack? He seems kind of sad."

"I think he is, Mel. His mom and dad don't seem to care about him."

"That really is sad," Melissa replied, thinking not only of Jack's parents but her own. She, too, had a happy, loving home life.

Jack was tired from all of his activities, so he agreed when Melissa told him it was time to leave the pool. As they walked back to Jack's house she asked him what he wanted to do for the rest of the afternoon, and Jack said he wanted to use his Play Station. Melissa knew that Jack's parents let him use it after a busy day.

First they stopped at Melissa's house, where Jack sat with her mother while Melissa took a quick shower. Then they returned to Jack's where he too rinsed off, and then they ate the brownies Jack's mom had left for them for a snack.

Jack settled in front of the TV and Melissa took out a book. The rest of the afternoon passed quietly, and then Janet Bauer returned home.

"How was today, Jack?" she asked her son. "Did you have fun?"

"Yeah, Mom," Jack replied happily. "We played tennis and then went to the pool. It was great." He knew his mother cared about his answer, and really listened. Not like Mike's parents.

"Just you and Melissa?" Janet asked.

"No, Mike went with us. He had a good time, too," Jack replied.

"I'm surprised he isn't here with you," his mom said. "His parents aren't home, are they?" She, too, had learned of Mike's home life, and like her son felt sorry for him. She thought he was really a nice boy, and decided it was okay with her if he spent time at the Bauers' home.

"He acted really strange, Mom," Jack told her. "He just left the pool and didn't even say good-bye. And he had a suitcase this morning. He took it to the tennis court."

"'Strangely,' Jack, she corrected automatically. "Did he say where he was going?"

"No, Mrs. Bauer," Melanie said. "Jack's right. His behavior was really strange."

"'Strangely,' Mel," Jack said. "I don't know what he was going to do."

"Melissa used 'strange' correctly, Jack," Janet said with a smile. "Behavior is 'strange,' acting that way is 'strangely.'"

Jack didn't want a grammar lesson. "Okay, Mom," he said impatiently. "Not now, please?"

"Do you know where Mike's parents are?" Janet asked. "Is his father on the base?"

"I don't know," Jack and Melissa answered together. "I know his mom's here, but I don't know about his dad," Jack continued. "It's really sad, Mom. His parents don't seem to care about him."

"I know, Son. Your father and I think the same thing, but Dad can't say anything to his father. Even though he's his commanding officer that's not something he can control."

Janet Bauer wondered whether she had said too much to Jack. She didn't want to interfere in another family's business, but she, too, felt the same concern for Mike that Jack did. Jack was only nine, after all, and she didn't think he should be burdened with adult concerns. But she was proud of her son for caring about his friend, and pleased at his ability to perceive his friend's situation. Still, he was a child, and Mike's family relationship was something he shouldn't be involved in.

Chapter 4

When Mark Bauer returned home Jack told him about his day, several times mentioning Mike's strange behavior (he had understood his mom's grammar lesson) and the suitcase he had carried. Mark called Mike's house and was concerned when there was no answer. It was already dark, and from what Jack and Janet had told him Mike should have been home.

Mark called the guard station at the entrance to the base to ask whether a boy had gone through, and the soldier stationed there told him that there was no record of any child leaving the base alone.

Mark checked with the Officers' Club but Mike's parents weren't there. The women's bridge game had ended hours earlier, and they weren't in the dining room. Mark became more worried.

Mark went over to Mike's house but no one answered the bell. There were no lights on, and Mark was even more concerned. A military base was no place for a child to be wandering alone, and Mark understood from Jack just how unhappy Mike was.

When he returned home Mark called the Military Police and told them to look for Mike. He was tempted to tell them to look for Mike's parents as well, but he couldn't properly have them search for adults, even ones as apparently irresponsible as these were.

"Jack," his dad asked, "did Mike tell you why he had a suitcase?"

"No, Dad. He seemed uncomfortable when Mel and I saw it, and he didn't answer me when I asked him if he was going away on vacation. I'm worried about him, Dad. He was acting really strangely."

"I've asked the M.P.'s to look for him, Jack. They'll find him soon. They don't let kidsw wander around the base," Mark tried to reassure his son.

"Why don't you watch some TV?" Janet asked Jack. She wanted to get his mind off his missing friend. There was nothing the boy could do, and she thought it was an adult matter. Again she was proud of Jack's concern for another, but she didn't want him to continue to worry. She hoped her husband was right, that the M.P.'s would soon find Mike, but she realized just how big the base was, and that a small boy might not be very easy to find, Mark's confident words to Jack notwithstanding.

"I don't think I can concentrate, Mom. I'm really worried about Mike."

"Let's watch something together," Janet suggested. "Isn't 'Friends' on? I know how much you love that show."

Despite the sexual innuendo in the show Jack's parents still let him watch it. He didn't seem to pick up on the undertones in the plot, but he appreciated the humor. He usually looked forward to it.

"No, Mom," Jack said. "I don't really want to."

"Well, I'm going to turn it on," Janet said, hoping that Jack would begin to watch and be distracted.

The phone rang. It was the head of the military police, telling Mark that a sweep of the base hadn't turned up any sign of Mike. Mark told them to keep looking, the concern in his voice evident.

Jack had heard his dad's tone and his attention was diverted from the TV. He had begun to watch 'Friends' but had not been fully distracted. His worry for his friend was too strong.

"What did they say, Dad? Did they find Mike?"

"No, Son. They're still looking, and they won't stop 'til they find him. I'm sure it'll be soon," his dad said with a certainty he didn't feel.

His parents realized that Jack was too concerned to go to sleep, so they let him stay up past his vacation bedtime of ten o'clock. So he was with his parents when the phone again rang.

"We found him, Sir," the head M.P. said. "It isn't good."

"What do you mean, Captain?"

"He's dead, Sir. He apparently drowned in the pool."

"My God," Mark said, closing his eyes. "I'll be right there."

"What is it, Dad? Did they find Mike?" Jack anxiously asked.

Mark looked at his son, hating what he was about to do. He knew it would mark the end of his childhood, his innocence. "I hate to tell you this, Son, but Mike died. He drowned in the pool."

Jack's eyes filled with tears. He'd been afraid that something bad had happened to his friend, but he hadn't thought that Mike might die. He was in shock. Terrible things like this didn't happen to kids. Kids didn't die. Jack suddenly felt very old.

"I'm going over there," Mark told Janet, who was also distraught. "I'll call you."

When Mark got to the pool it was surrounded by M.P.'s, and the base chaplain was there as well. The sight of the man, more than anything, made the news believable to the commanding officer.

"It wasn't accidental, Sir," the M.P. chief told him. "He committed suicide."

Mark wasn't prepared for this. "What? How do you know that, Captain? How do you know that the boy killed himself?"

"He left a note, Sir. It was with a suitcase at the edge of the deep end of the pool."

"Let me see it," Mark commanded, and was handed a note which the M.P.s had placed in a plastic bag. What he read sickened him.

The note was short. "I'm sorry," it said, "but no one cares whether I live or die."

Mark felt as upset as he ever had. He had seen death before, soldiers, good men all, but he'd never seen a child who didn't cling to life. He felt his anger at Mike's parents consume him.

"I want you to find the boy's parents. Now, Captain. They're on the base, somewhere. I want them brought here immediately."

"We'll find them, Sir. If I may ask, Sir, can I assume from your order that they're not at home?"

"They weren't a half hour ago, Captain, but they may have gotten home since then. Start there, but if they aren't there look everywhere on this base. I want them found."

Mark watched the base doctors gently place Mike's lifeless body on a gurney and guide it into the waiting ambulance. The M.P.s had finished taking pictures of the area, but they waited around to see if their C.O. had orders for them.

Mark sank into a poolside chair, oblivious to the soldiers standing there. He just stared at the note in his hand, wondering if there wasn't something he could have done to help the boy. Mark and Janet had seen how unhappy the child was, but they hadn't realized the depths of his despair. How could they? Mark thought about Mike's parents. How could they not care about their son?

There was activity at the gate of the fence that surrounded the pool, and Mark looked up to see Mike's mother entering the area with two MP's. She looked very upset, but Mark was still angry with her. She had virtually abandoned her son, and that to Mark was absolutely unforgivable.

"Oh, my God!" she cried. "My Mikey! Where's my Mikey?"

Mark felt himself get even angrier. Why hadn't she shown such concern for her son when it would have made a difference? When it would have made death unthinkable to that lonely, lonely child?

Mark rose from the chair and walked towards the woman. "He killed himself," Mark told her bluntly. He didn't think she deserved candy-coating. She, and her husband, were responsible for the boy's death.

An M.P. Jeep pulled up and Mike's dad ran to the pool. "What happened? What happened to Mike?"

He was oblivious to his commanding officer standing there. He walked over to his wife. "What happened, Beverly? What did you do?"

"I didn't do anything, Carl. How could you ask that? He was my son, too. I loved him just as much as you did. How dare you talk to me like that!"

Her indignation put Mark on the verge of yelling at them. He was barely in control when he said, "Your son killed himself, Major. He said he had no reason to live."

Carl looked at him. "How could he think that? We gave him everything. That kid had everything."

"Everything but love and attention," Mark told them bluntly. "He felt that you didn't give a damn about him." He couldn't stop himself from telling them off. As always, they only seemed concerned about themselves. He handed Carl the note.

Mike's father showed no emotion as he read his son's final words. He silently handed it to Beverly, who also showed no emotion. "How could he?" she asked. "How could he do this to us?"

Mark walked away in disgust. They didn't give a damn about their son. He couldn't believe it. His children meant everything to him. How could people not feel that way about their own child?

Chapter 5

Mark was only too happy to grant Mike's father's request for a transfer. He and his wife didn't want a constant reminder of their son's death, he said, but Mark suspected that the real reason was the looks that other people gave them. The whole base knew that Mike had committed suicide, and word had quickly spread of the contents of the note.

Jack grieved for his friend. He lost his appetite and didn't want to play. Even Little League didn't interest him, and he told his parents he didn't want to go to baseball camp. They insisted, however, hoping that playing ball and the other kids would distract him from his sorrow.

They didn't know that Jack blamed himself for his friend's death. If only I didn't embarrass him at tennis, he thought. If only I didn't criticize him about what he said. I should have been a better friend. He berated himself over and over. He believed that Mike had killed himself because he felt that his only friend had abandoned him, just as his parents had.

It was a while before Jack's natural resilience returned, but at the baseball camp he began to have fun as he started to come to grips with the tragedy of Mike's death. He appreciated even more his parents' love for him, and he no longer chafed at their insistence upon a babysitter.

Death had made its first impression upon Jack, and as his father had known, it had changed him. He knew it was something he would always fight, would never accept. He would never understand how Mike had given up to it, had actually wanted it, welcomed it. As he returned to the present his consciousness started to assert itself. He knew that he would never give up, as Mike had. He would always fight to live.