Part IV

Chapter 1

Jack lay still on the hospital bed Kim had had delivered to Melanie's old room. He had been discharged from the hospital only two days before, and he was still way too weak to care for himself. The doctors had said that a hospital bed would ease the constant pain Jack felt, by enabling him to change his position more easily and frequently.

After the first few days of consciousness Jack had tried to refuse narcotics for the pain. Although his addiction was long in the past and he had had painkillers many times in the intervening years of injuries without a relapse, he still preferred not to have drugs in his body. He was adamant, despite doctors' protests that pain would just slow his recovery. And no one, no one, could budge Jack Bauer when he dug in his heels. But even he was sometimes overwhelmed with the pain, and morphine was added to his I.V.

Jack used the electric control to raise the head of the bed and slowly swung his legs over the side. He tried to put on his robe, but the sheer act of bending his arm to fit into the sleeve was too much for him. The broken ribs still hurt like hell, and the doctors were right. The pain just made it harder to breathe, and he knew that was bad for his heart. He sank back against the pillows with a moan, sweating both from the exertion and the agony. Dammit, he thought. I can't even put on my damn robe!

He tried to ease himself into a more comfortable position but he was too weak to even move his legs all the way back onto the bed. As he lay there, his back on the bed and his legs dangling off, he was overcome with a feeling of despair like he'd never felt. His body was failing him, except this time it wasn't just from injuries. Those he could overcome. No, it was from age, and that wasn't something he could recuperate from. He realized that he'd never regain his old strength. His body wouldn't let him.

Kim knocked softly and entered with a tray. She saw Jack splayed on the bed and knew that something had happened. "Dad, Dad, what's wrong?" she asked. "Are you in pain?"

He didn't answer her, other than to moan. Kim became frightened. Jack never complained. "Here, let me help you," she said, putting down the tray. She put her hand under Jack's knees and swung his legs back onto the bed before she lowered the head and helped Jack straighten his body.

"I'm calling the doctor," Kim said. When Jack didn't protest she became even more scared. This wasn't her father. He'd never acted like this. Jack Bauer had never willingly seen a doctor in his life.

Jack just lay on the bed while Kim dialed the hospital. "Doctor, something's wrong," she said. "Dad's in tremendous pain, he's too weak to sit up, he seems too weak to move. I don't know what's wrong."

As she said the last part she looked at Jack, whose pajamas were soaked. He's sweating too, Doctor," she said. "And his breathing isn't right."

Jack saw her looking at him as she listened at the phone. "Yes, Doctor, I'll call the ambulance right now." He didn't protest when she hung up and called 911. "Yes, I need an ambulance. It's an emergency. My father just got out of the hospital and his doctor said he has to go back in. He's having trouble breathing and he's very weak." She listened again. "Yes, I'm with him now." She gave the operator the address and turned back to Jack.

"Dad, Dr. Garfein says you have to be re-admitted to the hospital. He says you shouldn't be this weak or in so much pain." Jack didn't say anything. He just looked at Kim, who began to wonder if Jack could even speak.

"Dad, say something! Please, say something!" she cried. "Dad, please!"

"I'm okay, Kitten," he said, reverting to his baby name for her. But his voice was just a whisper. Kim was barely sure he'd spoken.

Kim hurriedly called Chase, who said he'd meet them at the hospital. When the ambulance came the attendants quickly put Jack on the gurney and took him to the emergency room where the doctor was waiting. X-rays showed that Jack had pneumonia caused by the broken ribs, which had kept him from taking deep breaths. Because of this there was even more strain on his heart. The doctor's face was grave when he gave Kim and Chase the news.

"I'm afraid he's in trouble again," he said. "It's as bad as before. I don't know how much more of this his heart can take."

Kim grabbed for Chase's hand. She didn't know what to say. "Do everything you can, Doctor," Chase said. "Everything."

"I understand," said the doctor. "We're going to put him in the ICU. He'll get the best care in the hospital there, and we'll treat the pneumonia with everything we've got. I'm considering putting him on a respirator to ease his breathing. The trouble with that is, once he's on it it'll be difficult to get him off. But we may have no choice."

The doctor's tone scared Kim and Chase more than anything. He seemed to be warning them without words that Jack was losing this, what seemed to be his final battle.

Chapter 2

Through the haze Jack felt as though he was back at the base hospital, waiting for news of Carol. His little sister kept getting colds and earaches, but she always got over them after a couple of days. The pediatrician had told her parents that she might have to have her tonsils out, but that there was nothing to worry about. Carol was growing normally, and had become the nuisance to Jack that little sisters usually are.

But her fever returned dramatically one night, to 105. Despite a cool bath and medicine it hadn't come down, so they had all gone to the emergency room. Jack's parents were with Carol so he waited alone, scared for his baby sister. He could hear her crying, but it wasn't her usual cry. It sounded weak, listless.

Jack knew that both he and Carol had had fevers many times, but he knew that this was different. Neither of them had ever been brought to the hospital before. He wanted to know what was happening, but no one told him anything. Although Jack sometimes thought Carol was a pest, and he still got angry when she got into his things, he loved her very much, and now he was very afraid. Not knowing sucks, he thought. I wish they'd tell me what's going on.

After awhile his father came out, looking grim. "Carol has meningitis, Jack. It's very serious."

"What is it, Dad? What's mena...menagitis?"

"It's an infection of the outside of the brain, Son."

Jack realized how bad this sounded. "Will she be all right, Dad?"

His father looked at him. "I don't know, Jack. The doctors don't know yet. She's very sick. We just have to wait."

Jack was very frightened. He'd never seen his father look like this.

"Can I see her, Dad?" Jack asked.

"No, Son. They'll only let Mom and me in. And she's sleeping anyway."

"Oh," Jack replied. He didn't know what else to say.

"Melissa's mother is coming to take you home, Jack. She'll stay with you until you go off to school. Melissa will pick you up afterward." Melissa was Jack and Carol's babysitter.

"I want to stay, Dad. Can't I skip school today?"

"No, Jack. This is going to take a while. Carol's going to be in the hospital for a long time. There's nothing you can do for her. You belong in school."

Melissa's mother, Ellen Walker, entered the waiting area. "Hello, Mark," she said to Jack's dad. "How's Carol?"

"No change, Ellen. Thanks for coming."

"Of course, Mark. I only wish we could do more," Ellen said. "If there is anything, promise you'll let me know. And don't worry about Jack. He'll be fine with us until Carol comes home. I'll stay with him tonight, and take him to school. Melissa can bring him here after school, and then back to our place."

"Thanks, Ellen. That's a big help."

Jack started to feel annoyed that they were arranging his life without asking him, but he realized that what they were planning made sense. They'd never have let him stay home alone, and truthfully he didn't want to. He was only nine, and the thought of sleeping in the big house by himself scared him. It would be good to be with other people. And he was glad he could come to the hospital after school. He hoped they'd let him see Carol.

"Come on, Jack. It's time you got some sleep," Mrs. Walker said.

"G'night, Dad," Jack said. "Say good night to Mom. And to Carol. Tell her I hope she gets better real fast."

"I will, Son. Have a good sleep."

As they left the hospital Mrs. Walker told Jack that she'd help him get ready for school in the morning, and the next day Melissa would help him get his things together so he could stay with the Walkers after that. Jack thought he wouldn't be able to sleep because of his worry about Carol, but he was out as soon as he got into bed.

He was tired when his alarm went off at seven, and Mrs. Walker told him to sleep later. She woke him at nine, and while he dressed she fixed breakfast for him. Jack was in class by 9:45, armed with a note to his teacher explaining his lateness. His teacher expressed her concern and good wishes to Jack, and class resumed.

Janet Bauer taught at the base school, and word soon spread among the teachers that her daughter was seriously ill. Although the base was very large the school was not, and the teachers knew all of their colleagues' children. They all hoped for Carol's swift recovery.

Jack had trouble concentrating, but his teacher understood. He couldn't wait for school to end so Melissa could take him to the hospital. He hoped they'd let him see Carol. Since his friend Mike's death months before he understood that Carol's life was in danger. And Mike had only been a friend. Carol was his sister.

When he got to the hospital his Mom came out to the waiting room. She looked exhausted. "Carol's the same, Jack. She's in a very deep sleep. She still has a very high fever. The doctors are doing everything they can, but we don't know what's going to happen." Janet Bauer was determined not to cry in front of her son; she didn't want to scare him. But despite herself tears ran down her cheeks.

"Oh, Mom," Jack said, his own eyes filling. "Can I see her? Please? I won't get in the way. I promise."

"No, Sweetheart," she said, hugging him. "Just Dad and me. They won't let anyone else in."

"That's not fair, Mom," he protested. "She's my sister. I just want to say hello."

"I can't help it, Jack. Those are the rules. Now please don't give me any trouble. I can't take any more."

Jack was instantly sorry. He knew what his Mom, what both his parents were going through. He didn't mean to give them a hard time.

"I'm sorry, Mom. It's just that I'm so worried about her."

"I know, Jack," Janet said, hugging him. "You're a good boy. I know you love her. But they have rules, and we have to obey them. They don't even want Dad and me to stay with her all the time, but they're breaking that rule for us. We're talking to her, hoping she can hear us. She's in a coma, Jack. That's a very deep sleep. We can't wake her up. The doctors don't know if she'll ever wake up." Janet started to cry again.

Jack didn't know what to say. He hugged his mother tightly, wanting to comfort her, needing to be comforted by her. Her words had scared him terribly.

Janet gently pulled away from her son and wiped the tears from his cheeks. "Why don't you go home with Melissa now? Start your homework. If there's any change, we'll call you. I promise."

Jack wanted to stay but he didn't want to cause his mother any more trouble. "Okay, Mom. But will you tell Carol I love her? You said you're talking to her. Tell her that, will you, Mom?"

"Of course, Jack. You're such a good boy. I'll tell her as soon as I go back inside."

To Melissa she said, "Thank you, dear. And thank your parents for us. I don't know what we'd do without you."

"Oh, you're welcome, Mrs. Bauer, I just wish there was more we could do," she echoed her mother. "And don't worry about Jack. He'll be fine with us."

"I know. And thank you again."

"'Bye, Mom. I'll see you tomorrow," Jack said, giving her another hug.

"Good-bye, Son. I'll tell Carol what you said."

Jack watched his mother walked out of the waiting room and down the hospital corridor. He could hear her cry, above his own sobs.

Chapter 3

Jack thought he'd have trouble concentrating on his homework, but he found that it was actually good for him. It took his mind off Carol, at least for awhile. When Mrs. Walker called him for dinner he found that he had finished almost all of his assignments, and could easily be done with just another twenty minutes of studying. Maybe I can watch some TV, he thought.

Dinner with the Walkers was good. Mrs. Walker prepared meals like Jack's mother's, simple, healthy food, the kind Jack liked. Mrs. Walker was surprised to see Jack eat his vegetables without complaint; she didn't know that he had been trained by his parents to do so. Had she known Jack better she would have known that he had his father's orderly, military mind, knowing how to pick and choose his battles, which orders he had to obey, and which he might safely ignore. So when Jack cleaned his plate she was more than happy to serve him dessert, chocolate brownies, Jack's favorite, but not as good as his mother's, of course. He washed it down with a glass of milk, and was excused from the table.

Melissa quizzed Jack for his spelling bee scheduled for the next day, and pronounced him ready. Mrs. Walker asked Jack if his parents let him watch TV when his homework was done, and when he said yes she asked if he wanted to watch 'Friends.' Jack was taken aback; he hadn't watched it since the night Mike had died, and although he didn't yet know the world 'superstitious' he couldn't help but think that with Carol so ill that maybe watching the show might somehow hurt her.

Nevertheless Jack sat down in front of the set and soon found himself absorbed in the comedy. After that it was time for bed so Jack went to the guest room, still tired from the night before, and his worry about Carol.

He lay in bed, but sleep did not come. Instead thoughts of Mike ran through his head. Jack knew that Mike had killed himself. He understood that Mike's parents had abandoned him, had treated him as though they didn't love him, but he couldn't understand someone giving up on life. He couldn't put it into words, but he was mad at Mike. He had ended his life, and Carol was fighting so hard for hers. It wasn't fair. How could Mike have wanted to die? How could anybody want to die?

Chapter 4

The next days fell into a pattern for Jack. Staying at the Walkers', going to the hospital, going to school, the days were the same, except for the weekend, when he wanted to spend more time at the hospital but his parents said no. They didn't want him to just sit in the waiting room. They insisted that he be with his friends, whose parents were more than willing to look after him. So he stayed over at friends' houses on Friday and Saturday night, just going to the hospital for a little while each day.

Jack's parents stayed with Carol every minute, going home only to shower and change. They took turns sleeping in a chair in her room, one of them talking to her all the time while the other napped. Still, she stayed in the coma, showing no signs of awakening.

They couldn't hide the truth from Jack, and in fact they didn't want to. They knew he'd grown up a lot with Mike's death. And although they couldn't have said it aloud, they felt that he had to be prepared for the worst with Carol.

After his teacher told him how to spell it Jack looked up 'meningitis' in the school encyclopedia and was horrified by what he read. Not only could the disease be fatal, but it could cause brain damage and other terrible complications. The description of 'coma' was just as scary. He understood that his little sister really could die.

Jack couldn't talk about his fears with anyone. That just wasn't the way he was made. He kept things to himself, no matter how awful. His parents had found this out when they'd tried to get him to talk about Mike's death. Jack had seemed to withdraw from them after his friend died. He kept his emotions bottled up. When they couldn't get him to speak with them the Bauers had enlisted the help of the school psychologist, but he had no better luck. Jack was the type of boy who'd have to work through things himself, the man had told them, even at his young age. Some people are like that, he said, they can't be open about their feelings. They have it much harder. They're much more alone. Lonely.

The Bauers were understandably upset to hear this. They couldn't fathom how their easygoing, chatty, friendly child could possibly be isolated from them by his feelings, which he'd always before so easily shared with them. That Mike's death had affected him so profoundly wasn't something they'd expected of so young a boy, and they instinctively knew that his reticence wasn't something they could change. They felt frustrated and powerless. They knew that a boy who kept his feelings bottled up was destined for unhappiness. Learning this from a professional made them afraid for his future.

The next time Jack went to the hospital his father came out to the waiting room. Jack had never seen him look so tired. "How's Carol, Dad?" Jack asked. "Is she any better?"

"I'm afraid there's no change, Jack," he said. It was ten days since she'd gotten sick.

"What do the doctors say, Dad?"

"They don't know what to say, Son. She's getting weaker every day. Her fever hasn't come down, and they're feeding her through tubes."

The thought of this scared Jack. He'd never heard of this before, and it sounded terrifying. He wanted to know more about it, but he wasn't about to ask his father. He looked like he'd collapse.

"How's Mom, Dad? Is she as tired as you are? You really need some sleep."

"Yeah, Son, I know. And yes, Mom's tired. But we're not going to leave Carol. We're going to stay with her."

"I understand, Dad," Jack said.

"Are you okay at the Walkers', Son? We know you're scared, and we hate to leave you all alone like this. Is everything all right there?"

"Yeah, Dad, they're really nice," he answered. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me."

"I'm going back in, Jack. You go with Melissa now. We'll see you tomorrow."

"Okay, Dad. Kiss Mom for me. And tell Carol I love her, okay?"

"Of course, Son," Mark Bauer replied. "We love you, too."

Jack watched the exhausted figure of his father walk through the double doors of the waiting room. Mark knew that Jack was frightened; he'd learned too much about death already. Mark wasn't aware of the tears coursing down his own face as he slowly walked back to Carol's room.

Chapter 5

The alarms on the heart monitors were going off. The lines had gone from steady waves to sharp peaks and valleys with no discernible pattern. Jack was crashing.

The doctors and nurses did what they were so well-trained to do. With teamwork gained of long experience they performed their jobs, using all they knew to try to save this patient who they knew had lived through so much, so many other times when he had not been expected to survive. But this time the odds against him were even longer.

Chase supported Kim as they stood in the doorway, knowing that this could very well be the end. Jack's condition had been deteriorating; it was evident not only from the doctors' words but from his very appearance. He was gaunt and pale, not moving, his skin almost transparent on his face. He looks like death, Chase thought to himself. He can't make it this time.

Kim felt the same, but she wouldn't allow herself to put it into words. He's got to live, she thought. Daddy! she screamed in her mind. Don't you leave me! Don't you dare leave me!

One of the nurses turned to them and said, "You'll have to go to the waiting room. One of the doctors will be out to speak to you soon."

"Please, let us stay," Kim pleaded. "We won't be in the way."

"No, I'm sorry. Please wait outside." She closed the door, forcing them to back out.

Kim turned to Chase, terror on her face. "Oh, Chase, I can't lose him," she wailed. "He can't die! He can't die!"

"I know, Baby," Chase murmured. "But Jack's a fighter. You know that." Chase realized how trite that sounded, but there really was nothing else to say.

When they got to the waiting room Chase told Kim, "I'll go call the kids."

As he left to use his cellphone outside Kim sat on the couch and squeezed her eyes shut. Images of Jack, of pictures taken with him when she was a little girl, with her mother, of her wedding, with her kids, all of those images, of the happy times, came to her. No pictures of the bad times, of the heartaches, of the worries, of the day she'd lost her mother, of the other times when she'd almost lost him. Just of the good times. The times she had to hang on to. He has to live, she thought. He's so young! She smiled to herself. She'd grown up. When had sixty-seven become young to her? When she'd turned forty herself? Forty-five?

She remembered her dad at her forty-fifth birthday party. She and Chase had actually been able to pull it off as a surprise sixty-fifth for Jack. Chase had told him that he was making a surprise party for Kim, and to be sure that she didn't find out. Jack was enlisted to pick his grandkids up at the airport, where they were flying in from college, and to take them to the restaurant where he thought they were all going to surprise Kim. When they walked in and everyone yelled 'surprise' Jack was confused to see that Kim was one of the ones yelling. It took him a minute to realize that the party was for him. It had been one of the finest nights of his life.

Any time he had his family together was a great time for Jack. All of the moments were bittersweet, of course, because Teri wasn't there, but he knew, he knew, that she really was there, with him, as surely as if he could've reached out and touched her.

He was sure that Teri had been there to see Kim mature, to marry and become a mother. He knew how proud she would be of their daughter.

Kim thought back to that last day with her mother, of the anger she had still felt towards her, of how she had blamed Teri for making Jack leave. She understood now, had for many years, why her parents had separated; she had even made peace with herself for the way she had hated her mother. When her own children were born Kim understood that her mother had never stopped loving her, no matter what Kim had said, no matter what she had done. She knew that Teri had forgiven her for everything she had ever done to hurt her. It gave Kim a kind of peace she'd never known. She felt a bond with Teri that she wished she could tell her mother about, but she knew that somehow Teri already knew.

As much as she loved her father Kim realized that her love for her mother was very different. Not greater, but different.

Chapter 6

Jack went to church with Melissa and her parents on Sunday. He had always dutifully gone with his parents and attended Sunday School, but he'd had his doubts about God since Mike's death. Now, with his little sister so sick, he was mad.

"What kind of god are you?" he thought as he sat in the pew. "How can you hurt Carol like this? She's a good girl. Why are you making her suffer? And why are you doing this to Mom and Dad?"

As the service continued Jack refused to participate. He sat silently during the hymns, arms folded, a pout on his lips. The Walkers noticed but they decided not to say anything, at least not until the time seemed right. They were sure they knew what Jack was thinking.

As they filed out the pastor took Jack's hand and told him he was praying for Carol and their whole family. Jack thanked him, but there was no enthusiasm in his voice. He felt worse than he had before the service. He felt that God was letting him down.

As he sat down to dinner Major Walker spoke to him. It was as though he'd read Jack's mind. "Don't be mad at God, Jack," he said gently. "I know it seems like God isn't there for you or your family, but He really is. It's just that we don't always know what He has in mind."

"I don't understand, Sir," Jack said. "Isn't God supposed to be good? If we're good, why does bad stuff happen?"

"That's a question for the ages, Jack," came the reply. "People have been asking that since the beginning of time. All we know is that God has a plan that we don't know. That's why we have to have faith, Jack. We have to believe that everything that happens is because God wants it to. That it's part of God's plan."

Jack wanted no part of it. He thought that God should take care of good people. What good was He otherwise? Who needed Him?

"I don't care," Jack said, standing up abruptly. "There's no God. I don't believe it." He ran from the table, up the stairs to the guestroom.

Major Walker started to follow, but Mrs. Walker put a hand on her husband's arm. "Let him go, Len," she said. "This is something he has to work out for himself. He's young, and he's scared. It's no wonder he's angry. He just lost his friend, and now Carol's so sick. Maybe it would be better if Janet or Mark was with him, but we can't put this on them. Let's give him some time, and then we'll talk to him."

Jack threw himself on the bed. He didn't think he'd ever felt more angry or more confused. All his life his parents had told him to put his faith in God, but Jack felt that He'd let him down. He couldn't, didn't want to believe in Something that he couldn't count on. What was the point?

After a while Jack dried his tears and walked down the stairs to where the Walkers were having their coffee. "Are you all right, Jack?" Major Walker asked.

"Yes, sir. I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to be rude," Jack answered. "But I'd like to go to the hospital now, if that's all right."

"Don't you want to finish your dinner, Jack? At least have a brownie."

"No, thanks, ma'am. I'd just like to go now."

"Sure, Son," the Major said. "I'll take you."

They were silent during the walk. When they entered the waiting room the nurse went to tell Jack's parents that he was there.

"Oh, Jack," Janet said as she entered. There were tears on her face. Jack's stomach turned over.

"Oh, Mom," he wailed. "No! No! Not Carol!"

"No, Jack! She's fine. Carol's going to be fine!"

"But you're crying, Mom!"

"I know, Jack," she laughed, "I know. I'm crying because I'm so happy."

Jack was confused, but he, too, started to cry. Then he found he was laughing at the same time. It was a new sensation for him, and it made him laugh and cry even harder. "Is she okay, Mom? Is her brain okay?"

"Yes, Son. She just woke up. We were about to call you. Carol's going to be fine. No permanent damage. She can come home in a few days."

"Can I see her, Mom? Just for a minute?"

"I think that'll be okay with the doctors, Jack. Just wait a minute."

She turned to Leonard Walker. "Len, I can't thank you and Ellen enough. If you hadn't been there to take care of Jack for us..."

Major Walker cut her off. "Janet, we're just glad we were able to help. We're thrilled for you. And Jack can stay with us until you bring Carol home."

"That's not necessary, Len, but thank you. Mark's going to go home tonight, so he'll be with Jack. It'll be good for them both to be together. But please thank Ellen for us. And Melissa, too. We're so grateful."

"Anything we can do to help. And don't be afraid to call us if you need anything."

He turned to Jack. "Good-bye, Jack. You're a fine young man. I can see now why your parents are so proud of you."

"Um, good-bye, Sir," Jack said, taken aback. "Thank you."

Jack didn't know what to expect as he walked down the corridor with his mother to Carol's room. As his mom opened the door he hung back, afraid to enter. Carol had been so sick. And they were feeding her with tubes. What would she look like? He'd heard adults when they hadn't thought Jack could hear them, talking about how Mike had looked when they'd brought him out of the pool, and he hadn't been dead very long. Carol had been close to death for days. Jack was afraid of what he'd see.

When he followed his mother into the room Jack burst into tears. Carol was sitting up, smiling, clutching her teddy bear and her daddy's hand.

Jack felt immeasurable relief and joy. He wondered if his talk with God had had anything to do with it. He didn't think so. But maybe it was something to remember.