Pip's island
Disclaimer: Okay if you haven't gotten the picture yet tell me where you live and I'll come over and bash you in the head with a bat, 'cause you're a retard.
I'm not doing Pip's accent, cause I'm lazy.
Just another day at the Hellsing mansion. The Hellsing group was gathered in the living room watching reruns of Mystery Science Theater 3000.
" This show sucks," Schrödinger complained.
" You know what you suck," Pip said.
" Hey who let you in you Nazi bastard!" Seras yelled.
" Well what are you going to do about it?" Schrödinger asked.
Walter grabbed a broom and the other Millennium members scrambled while yelling " Oh my God he's got a broom, run!" The Hellsing members jumped behind the couch as Walter went nuts, chasing the Millennium out.
Once Millennium had been gotten rid of, the Hellsing members made a startling discovery. MST 3000 was over. So they began flipping through the channels: South Park the Paris Hilton episode, Seinfeld the Nazi leader episode, Friends the one with the black guy (oh wait there was none because they are racists), and the Gilligan's island episode with the Globe Trotters vs the robots.
" Hey I wonder what it would be like if we all got stuck on an island?" Pip asked. Suddenly Pip began waving his hands in front of him and repeating the word island.
" Shut up Pip!" Alucard yelled.
" You shut up."
" What did you say!"
" Nothing," he said in a small voice, before leaving the room.
Out behind ye old Hellsing manor is a small shed (interesting side note during his first year as a member of Hellsing this was Pip's house). Here Pip was building a boat and one day when he stopped being a pansy he would ask Seras to marry him and they would sail away into the sunset.
Seras walked just as Pip was shaving down one of the sides. " I can't believe your still working on this thing."
" Hey when I stop being pansy I'm going to ask you to marry me then we'll sail away into the sunset, whoa deja-vu. Besides when tsunami season comes you'll be glad we have it."
A handsome man enters, " ha you two getting married?"
" Why cause I'm a vampire and he's human?" she yelled.
" No because he's French and your a girl." Handsome man leaves.
" Wait there are no tsunami's in England."
" That's what I said."
Seras deiced it was better not to continue. " Even if you do finish this we'll probably only be able to sail around for about three hours before a storm strands us on an uncharted desert isle."
The Alucard busted down the door. " Hey people use that ya know, now next months pay will have to go into fixing that door."
" Shut up human slave. Are you people talking about that boat again?" Alucard asked.
" Yes," Pip said.
" Good cause, (enter Gilligan's island theme). Sit right back and you'll here a tail of a fateful trip that started in this tiny shack aboard this tiny ship. Hellsing enter through the front and back doors.
(All together)
The first mate was a mighty sailing man, the skipper brave and sure", (everyone begins to mumble) " a three hour tour a three hour tour."
Millennium and Iscariot members enter through windows and floor boards.
(All together)
" The weather started getting rough the tiny ship was tossed if not for the courage of the fearless crew the minnow would be lost, the minnow would be lost. The crew were stranded on an uncharted desert isle. With Gilligan (Schrödinger), the skipper too (Major), the Millionaire (Alucard) and his wife (Integra (Integra: hey what!)), The Movie Star (Rip), The Professor (Walter) and Mary Ann (Seras) and the rest (Pip: what the hell?) here on Pip's island.
We now see a crappy ship on it's side with a hole (that's not all that big). First Gilligan comes out with a life saver around his waste " Abandon ship," he yells as he jumps into the sand.
" Gilligan!" the skipper yells as he wallops him over the head with his hat.
Ginger comes out next with a huge musket over her shoulder. " Where the heil are we?"
Mary Ann comes out along with the professor, " Shut up Nazi!" then Mary Ann (Seras) kicks her into the water. " Heh, heh that's good stuff. So how are we going to get off this island?" She asks.
" I don't know fixing that hole is far beyond our technology. Now I'm going off to collect leaves and twigs to build a doctors office. Later I'll get some coconuts to build us a stereo system and a surround sound theater with a built in DVD player," the Professor replies.
" Well I can't help, I just a farm girl with this amazing rack."
The millionaire and his wife came out next.
" Why the hell am I his wife," Integra screamed.
" 'cause you guys are so cute together," say I (wait who wrote that song? Oh right Creed).
Before she can reply Pip comes out of the boat, dressed as well Pip (hey it was either this or ginger). " Hey guys I'm Pip."
(All together)
" Hi Pip!"
" Why am I here I don't even like this show, I wanted to be on Mystery Science Theater 3000."
