Part XIII

Chapter 1

In the shower after working out a couple of weeks later, when the symptoms of the concussion were gone, Jack reflected on his forwardness. He'd rarely been impulsive about asking a woman out, he didn't remember ever doing it as soon as they'd met, but he knew he had done the right thing. Lesley certainly seemed like someone he wanted to get to know, and not taking advantage of the opportunity would have been a serious mistake. Not the only one he'd ever made involving a woman, certainly, but his instinct told him it would have been one of the more serious ones.

They'd spoken on the phone several times since their meeting, with Jack telling her vaguely that he'd been 'under the weather,' for he hadn't wanted her to think that he'd forgotten about asking her out, or that he was somehow stalling before making a specific date. She had been friendly and pleased to hear from him, and they'd talked for awhile, getting to know each other better. He was glad when she agreed to join him for dinner.

He thought about her while he shaved, and enjoyed the feeling of anticipation. It had been quite a while since he had. The scab was gone, he had gotten away without stitches after all, and the cut had faded. It was barely noticeable against his hair, and he hoped that in the soft light of the restaurant Lesley wouldn't see it.

As he dressed in grey slacks and a maroon sweater over a light blue dress shirt, with grey socks and black tassel loafers, Jack realized that he was taking more than his usual interest in his appearance. He had become so used to wearing sweats or jeans and t-shirts that he had been pleasantly surprised to see that he actually had nicer clothes in his closet, and that they fit despite the weight he had lost from the injuries and transplant surgery and hospitalizations, although he'd re-gained almost all of it. I'll have to buy more, he thought, I still don't have enough decent pants and shirts, and I can probably use a new suit and some sport jackets.

He laughed at himself, for clothes had never been important to him, but he sensed that Lesley was someone he wanted to get to know, and he would have to dress decently around her. Not that he wanted to impress her; that wasn't him. But his usual almost-too-casual appearance would be insulting to this woman, he felt, and that would never do. He'd felt this way once before, he realized. With Teri.

He noticed the wedding ring he'd worn for so long after Teri's death when he opened the box where he kept his dress watch, and he recalled his tears when he took the band off. It had seemed then to be the final acknowledgment of her loss, although he knew now how wrong he'd been. Yet he'd known then it was a step he had to take, even though he'd had no intention of ever re-marrying. It had been necessary if he was to get on with his life, and he had admitted to himself that it was something he had to do if he was going to survive. Kim had noticed right away, and she'd carried on about it, and it was one of the more major things that drove them apart then.

Deep down she'd probably known it was the right thing for him to do, but she was way too immature to acknowledge it or to give him any other sign that she didn't blame him for Teri's death. She'd walked out, run away to become a nanny, telling him that she couldn't stand to be with him because he reminded her too much of her mother's death. That this had pierced Jack to his core she either hadn't known, or hadn't cared. Her estrangement from him was all the more painful because it mirrored his guilt, heightened his feeling that she was right, and while he missed her desperately he felt that he deserved her abandonment.

Finally telling him that removing his wedding band was right for him was one of the first signs of her maturity, for she told him, really told him, that she didn't blame him for Teri's death. He never believed her, of course, for he never believed it himself, but he viewed it as a kind of forgiveness, and it enabled him to survive, although 'living' was out of the question. When she broached the subject of the ring with him and told him that she thought it was right, it gave him a greater sense of release than perhaps anything that had happened since he found Teri that day at CTU.

Their closeness had actually increased after that, for Kim had grown into adulthood. The key, of course, was her horror at her dad's near-encounter with death before George Mason took his place and piloted the plane to explode the nuclear bomb; that was the epiphany in her growth to adulthood, and it marked the reality, the finality of her mother's death, for it forced her to the realization that Jack was her sole surviving parent. She knew then that it was time for him, and for her, too, to move on with their lives.

After that, she went on to college, and gladly accepted the job at CTU that Jack wangled for her. Not that there weren't challenges in their relationship, especially when she learned why she had gotten the job, and why Jack wanted her there. But her maturity enabled her to look past it, and to stand by him when he fought and ultimately overcame his addiction. Without her love and support, the outcome of his battle might have been far different. She was his lifeline, and they both knew it. Jack came to trust her judgment, and he treated her like an adult. Their relationship changed subtly over time, although she always remained his 'little girl,' and he never gave up – couldn't give up – his natural instinct to protect her at all cost. For what loving father ever could?

Kim had felt that taking off the ring wasn't the only change he had to make in his life. Over the years she had coaxed him to lighten up, relax, realize that there was a life beyond CTU, and that he needed someone to live it with him. She had liked Kate, and was very disappointed when her relationship with Jack had ended. She didn't understand why it hadn't worked out, but she was finally too mature to try to pry. Not that it would have worked; Jack never revealed anything he didn't want to. She felt her dad's loneliness over the years that followed and hoped he would find someone with whom to share his life, but it hadn't happened. She had introduced him to several eligible women over the years, and while he had taken a few to dinner or a movie nothing had developed, and Kim had resigned herself to her father's continuing 'aloneness.'

Nevertheless she never stopped trying to fix him up until he asked her to. "I'll meet someone on my own, Kim, if it's meant to be. I appreciate what you're trying to do, but enough, okay?" He said it gently; he would never hurt his daughter's feelings. But he meant what he said, and she knew it.

But that didn't mean she wouldn't stay in his life, nudging him when she saw fit, or when she just had the opportunity. Over the years she continued to tease him about being a creature of habit, buying the same clothes, eating the same foods, going to the same places. When he went to replace the SUV that had been totalled by the white van, she said; "Live a little. Go wild, Dad."

So he'd ordered a light gray SUV instead of his usual black, and was pleased when he picked it up from the dealer. He smiled when he recalled his conversation with his daughter. 'Going wild' with light gray. That's quite a difference from black, he thought wryly. I really am a creature of habit. Still, he was pleased when he got into the car to pick up Lesley.

As he drove down US 1 Jack realized that he was nervous. He had made a reservation at a restaurant on the beach near the Marina, one known for its seafood and steaks, and he hadn't thought to ask her if she liked that kind of food. She didn't strike him as a vegetarian, and he wondered why that was. Was there a vegetarian 'type?' he wondered. No, whatever food they have will be all right with her, or at least she'll find something to eat and won't object. She seemed that kind of woman.

Chapter 2

As she bit into her steak Jack knew that he had been right. Lesley had decided right away on 'surf and turf,' and he had ordered the same thing. They both liked their steak medium rare with a baked potato, and they split an order of baked claims and a caesar salad, but she had opted for broccoli while he chose string beans almondine. He'd come a long way from his days of peas and carrots, he thought fleetingly; Teri would have been impressed with his advanced choice of vegetables. He quickly put that idea from his mind; Teri was in the past, and while he still thought of her often, he had learned to control it and keep her in his memories, where he realized she belonged. He had finally moved on with his life, as he knew she would have wanted.

That hit him with a jolt. How could she have wanted that? They'd always envisioned a life together, growing old together, despite their problems. They'd counted on a second chance when they'd learned of her pregnancy, that was part of why they felt such joy at the news. A new start. A fresh start, that had been so tragically, bitterly taken from them. Jack still grieved for that, it was part of what had been taken from him, for it was inextricably wound up with his loss of Teri. But Teri had always lived in the present and looked forward to the future; she'd never been one to linger in the past. So he knew he was right, after all. She would want him to get on with his life.

He and Lesley had laughed when he questioned whether red wine or white was appropriate for both beef and seafood, and they had finally settled on red when they decided that was what they both preferred. After Jack admitted that he didn't know a thing about labels or years or vintages the sommelier had recommended one, and once he tasted it and pronounced the wine perfect they toasted each other's health. They each had two glasses, and by the time they finished their entrees and moved on to coffee they were thoroughly relaxed and enjoying themselves.

"I remember hearing about your shooting," he ventured, thinking that it was something he should mention up front. "That was really something, the mob coming after you like that. Did they ever catch the guy?"

"No," she responded, not surprised that he had put it together. "The Bureau thinks they left the country, and I hope they're right," she added ruefully.

"That's not a great situation to have to live with," he said sympathetically, knowing the feeling all too well, and aware that he was far better equipped to deal with it.

Their conversation was even easier after that, and they lingered over their coffee to get to know each other better. When the waiter came by for the third time to make sure they didn't want anything more they took the hint and left. The night was beautiful, and Jack suggested a walk along the path that followed the coastline.

"When did you retire, Jack? Your – ," she hesitated, searching for a word, "exploits were all over the press, and then they just stopped." She was mad at herself as soon as she said it. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound sarcastic. I mean, all the wonderful things you did, I didn't..."

"That's okay," he said, gently cutting her off. "I know what you mean. After I stopped being a field agent I went into planning, and then I was injured so I retired." He wasn't going to tell her that he had been in charge of national planning for CTU's operations, or explain how a planner got hurt so badly that he had to retire. At least not yet.

She wanted to ask how he was injured if he wasn't doing field work, but she suppressed the question. She didn't want to pry, and he seemed hesitant to discuss it, so she changed the subject. She was also trying hard to break her long-standing, apparently ingrained habit of cross-examining people.

"Do you have kids, Jack? Grandchildren?"

"I have a daughter and three granddaughters. And a great-grandson," he said, proudly. "He's six months old."

"That must be marvelous," she said. "A great-grandchild. Do you see him often?"

"Yes," he replied. "They live nearby, so I get to see him at least once a week. It's amazing how much he changes in just that short a time." He lobbed it back. "How about you? Any children?"

"I have a son and a daughter, and I'm about to become a grandmother. In two months, and I can't wait."

"Where do they live? Close by?"

"My son and daughter-in-law live in San Francisco, so I'm afraid I won't get to see the baby as often as I'd like. But I'll go up there right away, of course, as soon as the baby's born. My daughter lives in Rancho Bernardo with her husband, and I hope they'll have kids soon. They're talking about it."

Babies, he thought. Something else they had in common.

Chapter 3

He saw Lesley whenever he could after that, trying to arrange his times at the gym so he'd meet up with her there, and going out for dinners and movies and an occasional concert or play whenever their schedules allowed. Her schedule, really; she was an active woman, more so as she fully recovered from her injuries, with a coterie of friends who always wanted her attention. She didn't seem to be in a hurry to introduce Jack to her friends, and he couldn't help but wonder if some of them were men. He didn't feel jealous, he told himself, but he was. She was funny and bright and beautiful, and as time went on he wanted her to himself. But it didn't seem like that would happen.

He'd learned that she was a widow, that her husband had died four years before after a long illness, and that she, too had not rushed back into a social world. After a while, though, her friends had started to introduce her to eligible men, and she had slowly begun to date. She hadn't told this directly to Jack, for she'd instinctively known that it would make him uncomfortable, but he had gleaned it from their conversations.

He asked her out as often as he could, not wanting to rush her, knowing that she was frequently busy with other things, but he found himself wanting to take every opportunity to be with her. He knew in his gut that she wasn't playing 'hard to get;' she wasn't the type of person to try to 'play' him.

Yet she wanted to be with him, too, and over time she started to decline invitations from other men she was dating so she could see Jack more often. He noticed the increase in her availability to him, and it made him happy and relieved. He knew she was arranging her life so she could make more time for him, and he hadn't realized how much it meant to him until it happened.

The time went quickly, and he was thrilled for her when her granddaughter was born, but he didn't offer to accompany her to San Francisco to see the baby, and she didn't ask. He knew that it would be intrusive; he wasn't so much a part of her life yet that it would be right for him to participate in such a personal moment, but he hoped that would change. For the first time since Teri's death he believed he had found a woman who could really be a part of his life. But of course there was a part of himself holding him back. He spent many sessions with Dr. Logan discussing it.

Chapter 4

"Are you begrudging yourself a chance at happiness, Jack?" was the question.

"I don't think so," he replied slowly. "I mean, I'm not fighting it. I like the idea. She's a wonderful woman, and it feels right. But there's a part of me that feels disloyal somehow, and I don't know if it's guilt, or fear, or what."

"Let's look at guilt first, 'cause we know that's one of your dominant emotions. You've been doing a lot of grieving, although you're not fully through the process. You know the stages of mourning, Jack. We've discussed them." This was a key part of what Jack and Dr. Logan had worked on.

"Yes," he replied. "Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. I feel like I've gone through all of those. But the stages don't include guilt, unless it's part of acceptance. Is it?"

"Some people think it's part of anger, self-anger, but with you I'm not sure. You've certainly gone through depression. You went through denial, although I'm sure you don't realize it, but I don't know that you ever went through bargaining, 'though I'm pretty sure you're finally handling acceptance. That's where you are now. You did do things but of order, but it's not uncommon to kind of leap-frog around. There are regressions in grief, Jack, like in any other healing process, and the part that's never made sense to me is where your incredible sense of guilt comes from. It doesn't sound from anything you've ever told me that your parents made you feel guilty about things, yet you blame yourself for everything. It's really curious, from a psychological standpoint. Not that that makes it any less troublesome," Logan added.

There was a pause as both men studied each other. Finally Jack ventured, "I really like her, and it's funny. She's so different from Teri, and not just physically. I mean, they're both smart, really intelligent, but Lesley's – I don't know how to describe it, she's just got a totally different personality. She's more – self-assured, is the best way to put it. And yet I'm very attracted to her." He paused for a long time, and Logan didn't interrupt. "I – I just never thought – I guess I always thought Teri was my 'type.' and God knows I never thought of her that way, I never tried to pigeonhole here, but when I think about it she was so – so unique. So wonderful. There'll never be another Teri, there couldn't be one. I think that's what's throwing me."

"Jack, you met Lesley at a totally different stage in your life. You two met when you were basically just kids, still in school, and you grew up together. Now you're a mature man, you've seen life, probably too much of life, and from what you've told me Lesley's seen the dark sides of it, too. I'm sure your personality has changed over the years, and you don't know what Lesley was like when she was twenty, or what Teri would be like now. So they may not be so different as you think."

It was a totally new thought for Jack, and it made him sit up in his chair. He'd wondered how he could be so attracted to someone so different from the woman who had been the love of his life, but he couldn't stand the idea that Logan was ratifying what he was feeling - that he was attracted to Lesley only because she was like Teri. That he was seeking a Teri-substitute, and might have found her. Logan saw the distress on his face.

"Jack," he said gently, "Lesley isn't Teri. I'm not implying that she is. All I'm saying is that they're bound to have qualities in common that you're attracted to. But they're different women, and that they have similarities doesn't mean that Lesley is wrong for you. The similarities probably were what drew you to her in the first place, but her singleness – her uniqueness – is what's attracting you to her now. You're not the cookie-cutter type, Jack. You're an individualist, and you like people who are their own man, or woman in this case. Lesley sounds like that. She's strong, she has to be, for she's still very much in a man's world. A woman in her profession can't be a shrinking violet. You couldn't possibly be with a subservient woman, that would never work for you. She has to be able to see the humor in life, the funny ironies, as you're learning to do, because if there's one thing you've learned through all of this it's that if you don't laugh, you cry. You're learning to laugh, Jack, to enjoy life. I bet Lesley laughs easily. Does she?"

"Yes," he answered. "She does. She has a wonderful sense of humor, and she loves to tell jokes. She seems to find things that are funny and silly, and that's another thing that reminds me of Teri." He frowned. "Why do I find this so damned uncomfortable?" His mood was changing drastically.

"Because you need a counterpoint, Jack, you need to have something to balance your seriousness. Frankly, Lesley sounds like just what you need. Go with it, Jack. Don't begrudge yourself a chance at happiness. Have fun, and just see where this goes. If she's right for you, you'll know it, and if not, have fun in the meantime. It's early in the relationship, you don't have to make a commitment, and if I'm reading things right from what you're telling me Lesley isn't looking for that, either. Go with the flow, Jack. As the kids say, chill."

Jack stood, unwilling to continue the session. He had too much to absorb, he was still stuck on the idea that he might have sought out Lesley as a substitute for Teri. He felt ill.

Chapter 5

He cried that night, the final stage of mourning finally overcoming him. Acceptance of Teri's death overwhelmed him in waves, and as the sobs wracked his body he let go of his anger, his grief, his guilt. By dawn he had finally, finally made peace with his loss, and a serenity settled over him as he drifted off to sleep. He awoke that evening, calm.

After a shower and an omelette he called Lesley and invited her to brunch the following morning. He was surprised that he was able to sleep that night, having slept the entire day, but his sleep was peaceful, dreamless, and deep. It was the sleep of the guiltless, of the absolved.

The following morning was beautiful, cloudless, and they sat outside, Jack drinking a bloody mary and Lesley sipping a mimosa, and after they enjoyed their breakfast of french toast they walked along the beach. Jack realized that his feeling of absolution was still with him: he still felt calm and at peace. He felt he deserved to be happy.

Chapter 6

When she returned from seeing her son and his new daughter, Lesley proudly showed Jack pictures of the baby, and he pointed out her strong resemblance to her grandmother. "Nancy Kramer is a very nice name," he told her, "and very beautiful. She looks just like you."

Lesley laughed and thanked him, but she was too mature to blush. "That's a wonderful thing to say, Jack. Andy and Diane will be bringing Nancy to LA soon. I'd love for you to meet them."

Jack happily said yes, for he thought this was an important step in their relationship. "And I'd love for you to meet Kim and her family," he told her, thinking how natural it seemed.

Kim knew about Lesley, of course, and was delighted at the change she had made in her father. His energy was greater than at any time since he'd left CTU, a result, she knew, not only of the transplant but because of the happiness Lesley was bringing him. She'd hated his loneliness, and his devotion to her kids and now Little Jack were a poor substitute for a woman in his life, and in his bed. If Lesley could change that for Jack, Kim would be eternally grateful.

She didn't tell Jack this; she knew it would just embarrass him, and stop him from talking to her about his girlfriend. Jack and Kim opened up easily to each other now; they had for years, ever since Kim had really grown up and forgiven him, not just for her mother's death, but for the years when he'd been a field agent and had been gone so much. That she'd sensed the tension between her parents she had never put into words, but Jack knew she had always been affected by it, and he intuited, rightly, that she had forgiven him for that, too. But there were still limits, and her father's sex life was definitely out of bounds.

"Why don't you invite Lesley to our barbecue on Sunday, Dad?" Kim and Chase had continued their tradition of having family gatherings once a month, which their children always attended, and which now included Little Jack. "It would be a great chance for her to meet everyone. Unless you think she'll be overwhelmed by our horde."

Jack smiled. "I think she can handle it. She's pretty resourceful, Kim. I'll call her tonight. Thanks, Sweetheart." He had been wondering how he could get them all together, and the barbecue would be a perfect way to accomplish that.

Chapter 7

As Jack suggested Lesley brought her swim suit, and soon they were engaged in a hyperactive game of water volleyball, laughing uproariously, joining in the unspoken rule that when someone missed an easy shot he was splashed by the other players, or even splashed himself. They were competitive enough that they were on opposing teams, but Lesley didn't realize that Jack had an ulterior motive: he loved looking at her, seeing her lithe body as she reached for shots, the concentration on her face, the smile when her team scored or someone on the other side - Jack's side - missed the ball.

Kim had been delighted to hear that Lesley would come to the barbecue. Jack was pleased that Tony and Michelle were there as well, for they'd gone out together, and the four of them had spent several evenings having dinner, enjoying good conversation along with good food and wine, and Tony and Michelle were pleased to see the change in Jack that Lesley was making in his life.

The weather cooperated that day, bright and not too hot, but warm enough that the pool was inviting. Kim had noticed Lesley's beauty and how good she looked with her dad, and she smiled to see how happy Jack seemed. It had been a long time since he was so relaxed, and thanks to the transplant and the therapy - and Lesley - he looked like the dad she remembered from her youth, before the horrible things that had happened, when the memories she fought resurfaced.

Kim had never become a good cook, so Chase prepared the skewers of meat, chicken and vegetables that he grilled, along with the traditional burgers and hot dogs. Despite their sophistication everyone but Jack went for the tried-and-true, but he, when Kim was present, stuck by his low-cholesterol diet for the most part, although he managed to sneak in a frankfurter, ignoring Kim's glare. She didn't know that he had red meat from time to time, but he kept to his heart-healthy diet most of the time, convinced that cheating was okay, once in a while. Still, he looked up at her dolefully, thinking he'd gotten away with it, but then she smiled, knowing that at least he was trying - very trying, she thought ruefully - and he deserved a treat every now and then. He knew what she was thinking, and smiled back.

Lesley saw the unspoken exchange between them, and knew the love they shared. It was beautiful to her, for it reflected Jack's tender side as well as Kim's devotion to her father. She, too, enjoyed that relationship with her own children, and knew how important it was. She was glad for Jack and Kim. For a parent, especially, it was a joy to know that her children wanted her to be a big part of their lives.

They all sat around after they ate, enjoying the fine wine, Chase thoughtfully refilling their glasses, and they watched Little Jack, asleep on the table top in his infant carrier, like a centerpiece. His great-grandfather, especially, couldn't keep his eyes off the baby, for he knew that being there to enjoy him was a gift. Life now was a gift from God, and Jack was very, very grateful. Having Lesley in it was an additional gift, and Jack was determined not to let her go.

Chapter 8

Jack stayed at Lesley's house that night for the first time, and their exploration of each other's bodies was everything either could have hoped for. Lesley hadn't slept with anyone since her husband's death, so she was nervous and self-conscious, but Jack soon relaxed her, his touch gentle and languid, not hurried, not insistent, waiting until she pulled him to her, and he knew she was ready for him.

It seemed natural to her then, surprising, too, for she had wondered if she would ever sleep with another man after she was widowed, although other men had tried over the years, ever since she had started dating again. She'd never wanted any of them, not in the way she had wanted her husband, and her discovery that Jack aroused the same feelings was wondrous and wonderful to her. She gave herself easily and willingly to him after that first time, and he was as ecstatic as she.

The first time they went away Lesley had suggested Santa Barbara, but Jack had quickly said no, for he always associated that place with Nina, and those were memories he never wanted to resurrect. Instead they flew to Cabo San Lucas on Mexico's Pacific coast, and their planned week grew to a ten-day stay on the beach.

They were both delighted when Lesley rubbed sunscreen all over Jack's body, for with his fair skin he burned easily, and although Lesley wasn't as prone to sunburn he still insisted on applying lotion to her, and she didn't mind at all. It was often a prelude to other things, and they didn't mind that, either, although they were both too mature and too circumspect to do more than hold hands when they walked along the beach.

They enjoyed romantic dinners together, eating on the patio at the edge of the surf, under the stars. They had champagne with their meals, something Lesley especially liked, and Jack loved how it made her giddy. She loved to laugh, and the bubbles seemed to enhance her reactions to his humor. Even though they were in public they were lost in each other.

Their hotel provided a lot of privacy, and when they were back in their villa things changed, quickly. Jack watched Lesley start to undress, but he put his hands on hers and whispered, "Let me." Moving behind her he untied the halter of her sundress, kissing the back of her neck and nibbling the lobe of her ear as the dress fell to the floor. Still standing behind her he tried to unhook her strapless bra, muttering "Dammit" when he couldn't find the clasp. Lesley laughed softly.

"It opens in the front, Jack. Here." She turned to him and placed his hands on the clasp. He finally worked it open, and as the fabric fell away he cupped her breast gently before lowering his lips to it.

"My turn," she murmured, and started to unbutton his shirt. She rubbed her hands on his chest, enjoying the feel of the hair there, then kissing his nipples, making them erect. "Mine," he said softly, and lowered his hands to the top of her panties, where he inserted a finger to run around the top. He felt her relax and tense at the same time.

'Mmmm," she shivered. "Don't stop there."

"Wouldn't dream of it," he whispered, "and you'd better not, either." He stood and grinned at her, a wicked, charming smile that made her toes curl.

"You have nothing to worry about," she responded, taking her lips from his nipple, then running her tongue down his chest.

Her fingers were at his belt buckle as he slid his own further down her panties, and the little gasp she gave made him hungry. Neither had had dessert with dinner. It was time for some, now.

He was sliding down her panties while she opened his zipper, but he hadn't given her a chance to kick off her sandals, so she fell to the floor in a tangle of clothes and shoes and Jack, laughing until tears formed in her eyes. He started to sort things out, then thought better of it. "I'd like to stay tangled up with you forever," he said, knowing the double meaning in what he said.

"Me, too," Lesley replied in a soft, husky voice. "Forever sounds nice."

Jack lifted her from the floor and put her on the bed, and together somehow they managed to straighten out the clothes and the bedding and themselves until they lay together under the sheets, Jack's arm around her, Lesley with her head on his chest.

As they stroked and reached for each other they knew that this was right.

Chapter 9

When they managed to get out of their villa they went snorkeling and parasailing and the other things that tourists do. But they both knew that they had to return to the real world eventually.

When their plane touched down in LA Jack left Lesley with their carry-ons while he went to the long-term lot for his car. It didn't take long, but when he got to the terminal he saw Lesley sitting on the sidewalk, blood running down her face, and a man being restrained by a cop.

"My God, are you all right? What happened? Are you all right?" Jack jumped out of the car and started to go to her, but another policeman stopped him.

"Buddy, stay out of this. Leave the lady alone," said the cop.

"No, no, she's with me! She's my girlfriend!" Jack pulled away and ran to her.

"Les," he said as he knelt down, "are you okay? What happened?"

"That man," Lesley said shakily, pressing a hand to her bleeding head and pointing towards the man the cops were holding. "He just ran at me and hit me with his bag!"

Jack saw a computer bag on the ground next to her. There was blood on it.

Jack turned around to see the man knee the cop holding him and pull free. The other cop lunged at him but the man eluded him and disappeared into the crowd that had gathered. Jack tried to run after him but the man was nowhere to be seen.

Lesley tried to stand but sank weakly down to the pavement. Dizziness and nausea washed over her. As Jack struggled to get back to her, she fainted.

Chapter 10

After Jack showed the police his CTU ID he convinced them to let him ride in the ambulance with Lesley. He paced anxiously in the ER waiting room for the doctor's report while she was having an MRI to determine the extent of her injuries, and he wondered if the man had intended to go after Jack. Could the assault be related to Laura and Lucy Gaines? They still wanted the money. But why use a computer bag? That didn't make sense. And why attack Lesley? But maybe she was the target. Was it the mob? He tried to put it together, partly to distract himself from his worry about the woman he realized he had fallen in love with, but it didn't work. His concern for her was too great.

The police had called CTU, for they assumed he was the intended target, and Tony soon arrived at the hospital. He, too, had continued to worry about the Gaines women, and Jack's obvious vulnerability to another attempt on him. But he knew that they couldn't discount the chance of a Mafia hit, either.

Tony joined Jack in the ER, and noticing his anxiety, he realized that Lesley meant far more to Jack than either he or Michelle had known. She was definitely a part of his life. A very, very important part.

Finally the doctor came with his report. "There's no apparent skull fracture, but she does have a serious concussion. We're going to admit her and run some neurological tests tomorrow. So far her reflexes are normal, but her level of consciousness won't let her respond to eye exams, you know, following my finger, things like that. And we have to watch her, at least overnight, to make sure we can rouse her."

"I want to stay with her," Jack said. "And I want a special nurse with her, too."

"Not necessary," the doctor said. "The floor nurses are excellent. And we have a rule that visitors aren't permitted to stay overnight. She'll be fine."

"No, doctor, I'm staying with her," Jack insisted. "And I still want a private nurse for her."

"Okay to the nurse, if you insist, but no to you staying. I'm not going to break that rule. As I said, she's going to be fine. You can stay with her until ten, and then you have to leave. You can see her in the morning."

Jack started to lose his temper. "I want another doctor for her. One who's reasonable. She was attacked, doctor. She may be in danger. I'm going to stay."

The doctor looked at Jack, and saw an old man who couldn't possibly protect his patient from anything. "Why aren't the police assigning anyone to guard her if she's in danger, Mr. Bauer?" he asked. "And with all due respect, how could you defend her from an attack?"

Jack's anger really showed. "Doctor, I was a federal agent for many, many years. I can still tell if anyone's after her, and I assure you, Doctor, that as old as I may look, I'm still capable of keeping her safe. And the police are well aware of that." Jack wished he was armed, but realized it was just as well that he wasn't. There was no way the doctor would let him stay in the hospital, let alone in Lesley's room, if he was carrying.

The doctor was as stubborn as Jack. "No, and I mean it. And I'm head of the emergency department, so there's no other doctor to assign to her. Either you agree, Mr. Bauer, or I'll have you removed from the hospital now. And I won't permit you to come back in the morning, either."

Jack saw that he wasn't going to win this one, and he wasn't used to losing. "At least let me sit outside her door then. To make sure she's safe."

The doctor wanted to find something wrong with that but he couldn't; still, he was mad as hell and not used to having his authority questioned. But before the two men could face off Tony interjected himself. "Doctor, my name's Tony Almeida, and I'm the head of the LA office of the Counter-Terrorist Unit. Ms. Kramer was attacked, and we don't know why. I'm going to assign an agent here tonight, to sit outside her door. That's standard protocol in a situation like this. Under the circumstances I'm sure you can make an exception and let Mr. Bauer stay in the waiting room. He wasn't kidding when he said he was an agent for many years. He still works for CTU, and I'm sure he won't get in the way. Will you, Jack?" Tony turned to him, partly as a warning, and Jack knew he had to behave, although he didn't like it. The doctor was an ass, and he didn't want to be all the way down the hall. But it was the best he would get, and he knew it. At least he'd be nearby.

"All right, Mr. Almeida," the doctor conceded, as Jack's name started to sound familiar to him. He turned to Jack. "But you stay in the waiting room. I'm going to leave orders that if you go into her room security will have you removed. Do you understand?"

"All right," Jack responded grudgingly. "I'll stay in the waiting room."

When the doctor had walked away Tony asked Jack gently, "Are you really afraid someone will go after her, Jack? Do you think she's the target, and not you? I was thinking it's Gaines's daughters."

"Tony, she's in danger, whether it was the Gaines's or not. That attack was deliberate, and she was clearly the target. They never caught the perps from the mob hit. I think you ought to call the FBI in case it was the mob, but send over someone from CTU. I'll stay in the waiting area, but I won't sleep. Make sure the agent knows I'm there."

"I will, Jack. But try to rest. I'll send one of Baker's men over. Probably Gilroy. He's just back from vacation so he's fresh, and you trained him yourself. You know he's one of our best."

Jack relaxed a bit when he heard who Tony would assign, and he grudgingly conceded that Tony's suggestion made sense. He really wouldn't be able to protect Lesley if someone went after her, and a well-trained, younger agent was a better idea.

Jack looked at his watch. It was 8:30. "I'll stay with her until ten. Gilroy'll be here by then, won't he?"

"Sure," Tony replied. "I'll call now. It shouldn't take him more than twenty minutes, thirty tops, to get here, and I'll stay 'til then. You can brief him," Tony said, knowing that not only was Jack still well up to it, but that no one, even considering Jack's age, was better than he. Even though Jack was past his prime physically, no one could match his instincts. "Go sit with her, Jack, and I'll let you know when he gets here."

Jack thanked Tony, for he knew that having a CTU agent stand guard wasn't actually following protocol. But they didn't know who was behind the attack: Laura and Lucy Gaines still hadn't gotten 'their' money, and that they were behind it was just as likely as that the Mafia was. Maybe more so. Somewhat reassured just because she would be guarded by CTU, Jack went into Lesley's room.

Chapter 11

Promptly at 10 the ER doc came in and told Jack it was time to leave. He had initially been taken aback to find a genuine CTU agent sitting in the hall, and his respect for Jack increased, although he fought it. He had thought that Almeida had said all that to put one over on him and placate Bauer, but maybe there was a credible threat to his patient after all and he had misjudged the situation. But he still wasn't used to having his authority questioned, and he resented Jack's attitude. He went along with the set-up, though; he was a professional, and his patient's safety and well-being came first.

He saw the weariness on Jack's face, and some of his compassion returned. "It's time, Mr. Bauer," he said, less harshly than he had spoken to him earlier. "I understand the man from your agency will stay here overnight, and you'll be in the waiting room. I assure you that her condition is stable, but I realize you'll feel better if you're close by. I'm sure she'll be fine, but as I told you we want to run those tests in the morning. The neurologist will be in first thing, and he'll let you know his findings."

"Thank you, doctor," Jack said, more respectfully than he'd spoken to the man earlier. "I'll go now."

Before he left he kissed Lesley, who was dozing, tenderly on her cheek. Then he said to the private-duty nurse, "Please let me know if there's any change." After receiving her assurance that she would, Jack left the room.

Gilroy was there, as Tony had promised. "Don't worry, Jack. I'll be here all night."

Chapter 12

The night passed uneventfully. Jack awoke at 7, surprised and angry at himself for falling asleep. He tried to reassure himself that he would have awakened, alert and in full agent-mode had there been any trouble, but that didn't assuage his disappointment. He couldn't deny it; he was old, and old people needed to sleep.

He walked to Lesley's room immediately, knowing that he was breaking the doctor's orders by going in too early, but confident that he'd get away with it. As promised, Gilroy was there, not looking tired, and a part of Jack cursed him, for he knew he'd never be that way again. But again he was realistic enough to know that at the very least Lesley had been protected.

She, too, was awake, but not much less groggy than the night before. "Hi, Jack," she said, obviously very tired but trying to sound normal. "Were you here all night?"

"Yeah," he said, "but the doctor wouldn't let me stay with you. How do you feel?"

"Okay, but my head hurts." She paused, and Jack could see the pain in her eyes. "Do you have any idea who that man was, or why he attacked me? It doesn't sound like a mugging, not in so public a place, or with so many people around. I've been trying to figure it out, but it just makes my head hurt more," she added.

"The neurologist should be in soon, and they want to do more tests. But the MRI was normal," he said, not sure if she remembered the results given to them the night before.

"Thank God for that," she said. "Elaine told me I have a concussion, but no skull fracture," she continued, referring to the nurse who'd stayed with her during the night. "And thank you for getting me a private nurse," she added, "but it really wasn't necessary."

They were interrupted by the entrance of two men. "Ms. Kramer? I'm Special Agent Hutchins, and this is Special Agent McNamara, from the Bureau. We're assigned to your case. How are you feeling?" the shorter one asked. They were both around forty, stocky, but Jack didn't think they had a problem with donuts. They seemed well-muscled.

"I'm okay, Agent Hutchins," Lesley replied. "Do you know who that man is?"

"No, he got away," McNamara responded. "Did you recognize him?"

"No. Does he match anything we have?" she inquired, referring to the FBI's database on the Mafia, which had been behind the attempt on her life months earlier.

"The description was too vague. None of the witness descriptions agree, which is usual. They range all over the place."

"This is ridiculous," Jack said with exasperation. "I can give you a description."

"And you are – ?" McNamara asked.

"Jack Bauer, CTU," he answered. "I saw him."

"Oh," was all McNamara could manage. He knew very well who Bauer was. He hadn't known, though, of his involvement with Lesley.

"What were you doing at the airport?"

"I was with Mrs. Kramer," said Jack, not feeling the need to add more. "I was there when the guy kneed the cop and took off. I saw him before he got away."

"Can you describe him?"

"Yes, I can," Jack said impatiently. He had just said he could. He was more than a little angry at himself for not making sure the day before that the cops had gotten a good description. He had been too preoccupied with Lesley's condition.

Hutchins took out a pad. "Go ahead."

"Five-eight, nine, 180, medium brown hair, brown eyes, scar above his left eyebrow, another on his chin, a tattoo on his right forearm of an anchor so he's probably ex-Navy, wearing a tan sport shirt and black slacks, black shoes, I think brown socks. He had a slight limp."

"You saw all this?"

"I was with CTU for more than 30 years, Agent Hutchins. I'm trained to see things like that, just like you are."

"Okay then. I'll put out the description. Okay if I send in a sketch artist?"

"Of course. I'll be here."

"Is there anything you can add, Ms. Kramer?" McNamara asked after a glance at Hutchins. He was more than a little surprised at the detail of Jack's description.

"No," Lesley answered, also impressed. "I really didn't see anything."

"We'll have the artist here within the hour. And we'll plug this into the database."

"Let me know if you find anything." Jack spoke with authority. "I'll have CTU put it through their computers, too. We may have intel you guys don't have." .

That was a bone of contention between the agencies; despite all the terrorist attacks that had occurred some intelligence still was held back and wasn't shared. They'd all railed against it for years, but things hadn't changed, not enough anyway.

"One more thing," Jack added. "Any prints?"

"The lab wasn't able to pull any off the bag," said McNamara. "It was made of one of those synthetic fibers, and they don't hold prints. So we really have nothing else to go on. We were hoping you'd have some ideas."

"I'm afraid I'm still not thinking clearly," Lesley said, annoyance evident in her voice, from both her inability to focus and the police letting the man get away. "Maybe later, if this damn headache goes away."

"How about the hard drive on the laptop? What did your techs find?" Jack wanted to be sure they covered every base.

"It was a new computer," McNamara said. "Fresh from the store, still factory-sealed. It only had an operating system on it and pre-loaded software. The computer was bought yesterday morning at a mall, paid cash, no receipt. It doesn't make sense. They could have used any bag, put anything heavy in it. Why they bought a computer and used it for a weapon is bizarre."

Jack thought so, too, and he tried to make sense of it, but nothing added up. It was part of a giant puzzle that had most of its pieces missing.

The interview was ended when another man entered the room. "Good morning, I'm Dr. Matthews," he said to them. "I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you gentlemen to leave. I need to check my patient."

The detectives headed for the door, but Jack stayed behind. "I'm with her, Doctor. Unless you want me to leave, Les?" he asked, realizing she might want her privacy.

"No, that's okay," she responded, but she sounded very tired.

"You know what, maybe it's better if I wait in the hall," Jack said, seeing the doctor indicate with his head that Jack should go. "I'll be right outside."

After Jack left the doctor said, "I'm a neurologist, Ms. Kramer. I reviewed your MRI, and I know you were told it's negative, but you have a severe concussion so we're going to run some other tests. Let's start with a physical exam."

As he took a medical history and thoroughly examined her Lesley became more tired. The doctor noticed this, of course, and was concerned. Her speech was slightly slurred, and her reflexes were sluggish. Things weren't looking right.

"Your fatigue is because of the head injury, Ms. Kramer. We're going to repeat the MRI, because with the swelling something may not have shown up. Although," he hastened to add, "that doesn't necessarily mean there's something there. We're going to do a CAT scan, too, and I want to do a neurological exam now. Can you sit up?"

The doctor checked her eyes and reflexes, and assisted her out of the bed. "Can you walk for me?" he asked, but she couldn't go straight ahead. She kept falling off towards her left.

"Let's get you back into bed," he said, more concerned now. He thought this was more than a concussion.

"I'll be back in a few minutes," he told her after he helped her into the bed. "I want to order those tests now."

Jack was waiting for him outside the door for the doctor. "How is she?" he asked anxiously. "Is it a concussion?"

"What's your relationship to Ms. Kramer, Mr. Bauer?"

"She's my girlfriend. Why?"

"Because I really can't discuss her condition with you, not without her consent."

"I'm sure she'll give it to you, Doctor. We're very close."

"Nevertheless, Mr. Bauer, unless I get her permission, I'm sorry, but I can't talk to you about her."

Jack was annoyed, but he knew about doctor-patient confidentiality, and that there was nothing he could do about it.

"Can I go in?" he asked. "I'll talk to her, and I'm sure she'll tell you it's all right."

"You can go in now, Mr. Bauer, but the orderlies will be coming for her soon. I want these tests as soon as possible."

Hearing this did nothing to assuage Jack's anxiety; obviously, it only increased it, but he knew that a report from the doctor would have to wait until there were results. He was more concerned than ever, and he hurried into Lesley's room.

She had fallen asleep again, but Jack didn't think it was a natural sleep. She didn't look right to him.

Chapter 13

Jack was with her when she was put on a gurney and wheeled out for the tests. She hadn't awakened when she was transferred from the bed.

He waited while the exams were being run, because he couldn't be anywhere else but near her. Besides, he had nowhere else to go and nothing else to do. While he was there Tony called, and he heard the frustration and worry in Jack's voice when he told him what was happening. Tony offered to come back to the hospital to wait with him, but Jack told him it wasn't necessary. He knew it wouldn't lessen his worry. Besides, he wanted Tony to run the investigation.

"Jack, do you want me call Kim?" Tony asked. "I'm sure she'll want to be with you."

Jack didn't hesitate before he told Tony, "Yes, please. She'll want to know, and she'll be furious with me if I don't tell her."

Kim hadn't returned to work since she left CTU to raise Angela with Chase, and she had happily become a stay-at-home mom, raising their kids. Now she as happily baby-sat for her grandchildren or ran car pools while their mothers worked. When she got Tony's call she immediately left for the hospital.

"Dad?" she said when she got to Lesley's room. "How is she?"

"I don't know, Sweetheart. The doctor seems very concerned. She's sleeping too much, and she said she has a terrible headache. That might be from the concussion, I guess, but the doctor said he wants other tests done immediately. That really has me worried."

Kim gave her father a hug and sat down next to him. "I'm sure she'll be all right, Dad," she said, trying to comfort him. She wanted to change the subject, but there was really nothing else to talk about. "Tony told me how she was attacked, and it sounds really weird. Does Lesley know why he might have done it?"

"FBI agents were here this morning, and before she fell asleep again we talked about who might have done this. You know she was shot when she was with the US Attorney's office, when she was prosecuting the Mafia don, and they never caught the shooters." He didn't tell Kim it might have been someone working for Laura and Lucy Gaines, for that would only worry her more. "The Bureau is sending over a sketch artist so I can work up a description with him. Dammit, he should have been here by now. It's more than 24 hours since the attack, we've already lost a lot of time, where the hell is he?" The combination of worry and fatigue was getting to him and Kim was aware of his agitation, although she saw there was nothing she could do about it. Jack's feelings for Lesley were very obvious to her. "It's weird," he said after a pause. "Attacking her with a computer bag doesn't make sense at all."

Kim thought about it, but she couldn't make sense of it, either. "I called Chase, and he'll be here soon." She hoped that Chase might be able to distract Jack from his worry.

"That's not necessary, Kim. Tony's going to keep an agent here, and the Bureau is sending someone over."

"He's not coming for that, Dad, he's coming to be here with you. With us," she added, wanting Jack to know that she would be there with him. He knew it, of course; Kim was always there when he needed her.

Jack put his head back against the chair and closed his eyes. He was exhausted; he hadn't slept much in the waiting room, and his neck was stiff from the uncomfortable couch. Kim started to cover him with a spare blanket, but Jack sat up. "Please don't, Kim. I'm fine. I'm just a little tired, that's all. I'm just resting. I won't really relax until I hear about the tests."

They sat in silence for awhile, until the door opened again and Chase entered. Jack was disappointed; he'd hoped that it was Lesley being returned to the room, or at least the doctor with some news.

"How is she, Jack?" was the first thing Chase said. "Any news?"

"No," Jack answered wearily. "They're still doing tests." He put his head back again, and soon they heard the soft breathing of sleep.

"He's been here all night," Kim whispered to Chase. "I don't think he got any sleep."

"Yeah, Tony told me when I was leaving the office. What he told me about the attack is really bizarre. The FBI thinks it's the Mafia, but it doesn't sound like they were trying to kill her. Swinging a bag like that, the guy couldn't be sure he'd even seriously hurt her. I mean, it's weird." He, too, spoke in a whisper; it was obvious that Jack was exhausted.

They sat together in silence, Jack's gentle breathing reassuring to them, knowing that he was at least getting some rest, and a respite from his worry. They stayed like that for over an hour, until the door opened again.

Jack awoke with a start as Lesley was wheeled back into the room, groggy but awake. She tried to smile at him. "Did you get any rest?" she asked after the orderlies transferred her back into the bed.

"Some," he admitted. "How do you feel?

"The same, I guess. I think I slept through the tests."

"That's probably the best thing," Jack said, hoping she felt reassured. They still didn't know the results.

As Lesley started to doze off again the doctor came in. Kim and Chase excused themselves, but Jack remained. "Is it okay if I talk in front of Mr. Bauer, Ms. Kramer? He said he wants to know the results."

"That's fine," she told the doctor. "He can hear whatever you have to tell me."

"The MRI shows a skull fracture," he told her. "The one we did last night didn't show it because of all the swelling. There's still a lot of it, of course, but it seems to have gone down a little because of the meds we gave you. It was enough to let us see the fracture."

"What does it mean, Doctor?" Jack asked anxiously.

"It means she needs a lot of bed rest, Mr. Bauer. There's no particular treatment for it, but we'll have to watch her closely. The swelling doesn't seem to be interfering with her mental processes, and that's the most obvious danger. The fracture isn't displaced - the skull bone isn't out of alignment, so it's not pressing or digging into her brain - it's the swelling that's the problem, because that can cause inter-cranial pressure. The medicines she's receiving will help with that a lot, but the most important thing is rest, so the bones can heal. She'll have to remain in the hospital for awhile, but the overall prognosis is very good."

Jack let out the breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. Lesley, too, looked very relieved.

"The headache, Doctor, that's the worst part. Is there anything you can give me?"

"I'm going to prescribe some painkillers, but they can't be too strong or they'll knock you out. You'll sleep lightly, but the nurses have to be able to wake you periodically. It'll help with the headache, and actually the more you rest the better. You'll stay quieter that way, and the less you move around the more quickly the swelling will subside." He paused. "I'm sorry, but if I give you anything stronger we won't be able to rouse you."

"I'm going to write the orders now," he continued. Then he looked at Jack. "I understand you gave the ER doc a hard time last night. It really isn't necessary for you to stay here, but if it makes Ms. Kramer feel better I'll tell the nurses you can stay. But you have to let her rest," he warned. "That's what she needs now."

"Don't worry, Doctor, I understand and I promise I won't get in the way. But I want her to have private nurses. Can you arrange it?"

"It's really not necessary, Mr. Bauer, but I'll take care of it. I realize it'll make you feel better," he smiled. He knew a nervous relative when he saw one, and it was obvious to him that Jack hadn't been exaggerating when he'd said that he and Lesley were very close. Keeping the family comfortable always helped the patient, he knew, for patients sensed their relatives' anxiety, and that made them more anxious about their own condition. If Bauer would relax, so would his patient.

As the doctor made ready to leave Jack had to tell him something. "Doctor, Ms. Kramer was deliberately attacked, and we think she's still in danger. Agents have been assigned to protect her. Have you been told?"

"Yes, Mr. Bauer, I spoke with the FBI. The floor nurses and hospital security know all about it, and we'll cooperate however we can. I understand you're with the government, too, and I realize why you had the blow-up last night. But you really have to understand that we have to think of all of the patients, so we have to enforce the rules. At least most of them," he said with a small smile.

"Thank you, Doctor." Jack's relief was obvious. "We believe the danger is real. There'll be agents from the FBI and CTU here, and I'll be down the hall. Despite my age," and Jack said it ruefully, "I'm still on active status." Technically this was true, for Jack consulted with the agency from time to time.

"Are you carrying a gun, Mr. Bauer?" the doctor wanted to know. "For the patients' safety we need to know who's armed."

"No, I'm not," Jack said. "Mrs. Kramer and I were just coming back from vacation." He paused. "I'm glad you're her doctor. I'm sure you'll take good care of her. She's very important to me," he added unnecessarily, for the doctor already knew it. He could tell from the way Lesley and Jack looked at each other.

Chapter 14

He wouldn't leave her side when she was discharged from the hospital a week later, with explicit instructions from the doctor regarding her care, along with his gun that Kim had retrieved from his apartment along with his clothes and shaving kit, and they were already in his car when he drove Lesley home.

He helped her settle into the bed, hovering until she told him that he was driving her nuts. "Please," she said gently, "if you do this we'll both go mad. I'm fine, Jack. The doctor said so. I'm telling you so, and you can see it. Why don't you sit down, watch some TV, take a nap. Do anything but stand here and watch me."

He continued to stay there until he saw the look of annoyance overtake the amusement that was on her face. "Okay, Honey. I'll watch the game. I'll be in in a few minutes to check. Just call me if you need me, okay? I'll be right next door."

"I know where the den is, Jack. Who's playing? The Leafs?" She knew how he loved hockey. They'd gone to a Kings game when they were playing Toronto, and she'd playfully told him she was afraid for his safety when he'd so loudly rooted for the 'other' team. Her heart belonged to the Rangers, she told him, and he teased her about that, for it looked like it would be another forty years before they won the Cup again. But she was an expatriate New Yorker, and old loyalties die hard.

He mumbled "um, hmm" as he kissed her on the head and left the room. She gave a small sigh as she heard the sound of the TV from the next room, and there was a smile on her face as she drifted off to sleep.

It wasn't until the period was half-over that he realized he hadn't checked on her in twenty minutes, since the game began, and he hurried into the bedroom. As he looked at her relaxed form he realized that he was acting foolishly. The doctor had reassured him that Lesley was out of danger and that she didn't have to be watched as closely, but after losing Teri he was desperately afraid of losing Lesley. He'd spent almost half his life alone, and this was better. Definitely better. Now he realized what he'd missed out on, and he didn't think he could take it if he had to be alone again.

That night, when he got into bed beside Lesley and gently took her in his arms there was a relief that was palpable. He knew that she was safe with him, and that he could keep her that way. The agents standing guard, FBI, were all good men, for Lesley was one of their own, a fed, and they took no chances when a member of their family was threatened.

He remembered their words as he'd checked the locks one last time before he went to bed: 'We're here. We don't need CTU. We've got everything under control.'

Chapter 15

Jack was very groggy when he awoke, not sure how long the alarm had been ringing. Ever since she'd been discharged from the hospital he'd set it to go off every three hours each night to make sure he could wake her, even though the doctor had said it was no longer necessary, but last night was the first he'd completely slept through it. He turned to check her, but she was gone. In her place was a piece of paper, attached to a knitting needle, to be unrolled like a scroll. The note said:

'Mr. Bauer. Our father was paid $5 million by Palmer. That money disappeared. We know you have it, or you know where it is. If you want Lesley Kramer to live you will get it to us. Otherwise, you will never see her again.'

At the bottom of the paper, next to a piece of grey wool, were drops of blood.

Chapter 16

The FBI's DNA lab compared the blood on the paper to the blood taken from Lesley at the hospital. It matched. The Chinese food Jack and Lesley had had the night before, which they had shared with the FBI agents as they came on duty for the night shift was found to be laced with Valium, a powerful sleep-inducing sedative. That was why Jack had slept through the alarm. No one had been aware of the abduction.

Jack was terrified. Despite the squad of FBI agents the Bureau assigned Jack insisted that CTU also be brought in. The FBI resisted CTU's involvement but Jack went on a rampage, refusing to allow this to turn into a turf battle. He still had enough pull to head that off, a minor miracle in itself, and with Tony's help he headed off internecine warfare and managed to keep both agencies focused on finding and rescuing Lesley.

The truth was that Jack had no idea how to trace the payments made to Ira Gaines, and he didn't know where to start to look for the money. Chappelle had been the best they had, and he, Jack, had killed him. Another irony, he bitterly recognized. Another woman he loved was at risk because of his own actions. The same way he had lost his first love, the same actions that had taken his first love from him. Guilt and bitterness swept over him, threatened to wash away his strength and the recovery that had permitted it to take hold. He struggled to remain focused, for he knew that otherwise he would be useless, an impediment to rescuing Lesley. He couldn't bear to lose her. She was his last chance for love. For a life.

While the labs hunted for physical evidence Jack went back to CTU, back to the files that Tony had retrieved, to work with the forensic accountants they called in. In sifting through the data to unravel the plot Jack hadn't tried to trace where the money went, only where it had come from. Now he worked in the opposite direction, all the while fighting the keep his concentration. He hoped that the data was sufficient to fill in the gaps to point to the trail of the missing money.

He knew from bitter experience that dirty agents had sometimes helped themselves to money that terrorists brought down by CTU had hidden away, but he hadn't throught that was the case with the Drazens. With the corrupt agents Jack had busted he hadn't been directly involved in their operations, so he hadn't known all of the details, and had only been brought in after the fact to use the money to trace through what they had known and what they had done in order to bring the terrorists down. The Drazen case was different. There was no indication that anyone inside CTU had been in on the plot; no, Jack thought, the problem wasn't CTU, it was the goddamn President of the United States! We – I – never thought to look there, he thought. It was just preposterous. There was no reason to. We thought we had all the players. We had Gaines, and we had the Drazens. We never thought of the man about to become POTUS.

Despite Victor's vast wealth Jack had known every detail of that situation, or he'd thought he had, and he'd simply assumed that the money had gone from Drazen straight to Gaines. At the time there hadn't been any reason to think otherwise, and no point in following the money. But he was now distraught by that thought – the last thing he had been focused on that day was money. Had he missed payments, money hidden, bribes offered and taken then that would have led him to unravel this mess decades earlier? Of course I did, he thought. That's how I did it now, that's how I finally made the connection.

Mentally he beat himself up. I blew it. I should have followed through. Lesley would never be in this situation if I'd been thorough, but I just assumed it went straight from Drazen to Gaines. Dammit, Jack, he yelled to himself. Dammit!

The toll it took was enormous. Calming techniques, taught to him by Dr. Logan, weren't helping, and his frantic feeling grew. Something came over him, a feeling so foreign to him, almost totally unknown. Panic. It had happened only a few times before, when Teri and Kim had been in danger. Now it was happening again. When the chest pains started he tried to ignore them but soon he was gasping for air, and shortly after he was on the floor of the conference room, clutching at his chest. An agent found him there not long after, and the next thing he knew he was in the hospital, an ICU, again hooked up to more wires and tubes and monitors than he'd have believed possible.

Tony was with him. "Jack, Jack, can you hear me?" a seemingly disembodied voice asked as he started to come out of his fog.

"Tony?" Jack asked weakly. "Where am I? What happened?"

"You had a panic attack, Jack, but you're okay. The doctor says you'll be fine, there's no heart damage, but they're going to keep you overnight just to be sure. It was brought on by stress, so they're giving you sedatives. It's vital that you stay calm."

"Lesley," he whispered. "Is there any news?" His voice was pleading, but almost too faint to be heard.

"Nothing yet, but our best people are working on it, and the Bureau's cooperating fully, Jack. Everything's being done, I promise you. We're going to find her, so you have to stay here and rest. There's nothing you could do that we're not already doing. You have to trust me."

He started to get up, but Tony gently pushed him down as the alarms on the monitors rang and a doctor ran over. Jack was too upset to argue, he was too upset to do anything except lie against the pillows and curse in frustration and anger at himself. He was useless, he'd fallen part. Jack Bauer, the mighty Jack Bauer, he thought bitterly. The woman I love is in trouble, and I panic. I can't do anything. For all I know, she's already dead.

Chapter 17

She was terrified for her life, not able to hear what hushed women's voices were saying, and hanging on only to the thought that because they'd blindfolded her maybe they didn't intend to kill her. It wasn't much, but she knew it was all that would keep her from giving up. That, and knowing that Jack would be looking for her.

Lesley's legs and arms had gone numb hours before from the ropes that trussed her, and her head pounded from the extra Valium they'd slipped into the little water they'd given her. She still wasn't fully healed from the skull fracture, and that only added to the pain.

She heard footsteps and turned her head towards the door, but even as light flooded into the dark room she saw nothing under the thick cloth that covered her eyes. All she heard was a voice.

"Ms. Kramer," a woman said, "we're not going to hurt you. Not if your friend does what we told him, that is. Now get up."

"I can't," Lesley replied weakly, for she was bound in such a way that movement was impossible.

"Oh," said a second voice sarcastically, "that's right, you can't come to the phone right now, you're all tied up." She giggled, and Lesley heard the first woman again.

"Shut up! This is serious!"

"Oh, Laura, come on," said the second woman, and that provoked a tirade.

"You idiot!" the first said. "You told her my name!"

"Oh, don't be like that. Bauer knows who we are. Do you think he doesn't? He's not stupid. Just take her picture. But don't forget to tell her to smile."

"Stop being an idiot and hold up the newspaper. Let's get this over with," the first woman said. "I don't want to take longer with this than we have to."

"Why can't we just call him and let him hear her voice? Why do we have to be so melodramatic and send him her picture with a newspaper?"

"Because they can trace phone calls, idiot, that's why. Just turn her face to the camera."

"And then we'll fax it to him?"

"God, you're stupid!" Laura said. "A fax is sent from a land line, and that's a fixed location, so it can be traced. Lucy, how dumb can you be?"

"You just told her MY name, Laura. Now who's stupid?"

Lesley couldn't believe what she was hearing, but it didn't matter. She was still their prisoner, and her experience had shown her that smart criminals were better than dumb ones. At least they thought things through, and that included considering consequences. The way these two were acting meant she was in even greater danger.

"Look, please, just let me go. I don't have a lot of money but I'll pay you whatever I have. I'll call my bank and have them wire everything to your account. Just please let me go."

Lucy started laughing. "Yeah, like you have five million dollars? Plus interest for 30 years? How much did you say that was, Laura, more than ten million? Okay, Lesley, give us fifteen million and we'll let you go. In fives and tens, please. Just put it in this bag." She started giggling again.

"Shut up, Lucy!" Laura commanded. "Just hold the newspaper so I can take her picture. Cut the crap."

A flash went off that Lesley could barely make out, and then there was the sound of footsteps receding. She was alone again, and in despair.

Chapter 18

Jack fought it, fought the situation, the frustration, the helplessness, the fear. Fought the doctors, Kim and Chase. A half hour later, when the sedatives had kicked in and the pounding in his chest had lessened, he sat up.

"Mr. Bauer, you can't get up!" the nurse commanded as she rushed over.

"I'm getting out of here," he said firmly. "Please get my clothes."

"Mr. Bauer, please get back into bed," she urged as Jack sat there, his legs dangling over the side, methodically detaching the wires from his arms and chest. "It's important that you rest. Please, I've called the doctor. Just wait for him."

"Look, I'm sorry, I don't mean to make trouble, but I've got to get out of here," Jack said, an apologetic tone in his voice. He stood and looked around. "Where are my clothes?"

Kim hurried in from the waiting room, her distress evident. "Dad, what are you doing? Get back into bed!"

"Kim, there's nothing wrong with me. I feel fine. I was just – anxious, that's all. I have to go find Lesley."

"Dad, CTU and the FBI are looking for her. They're doing everything they can, and the doctors said they have to check you out. Please, Dad, just get back into bed. Chase is on his way over, and he'll tell you what's going on. Please, Dad, just listen for once, will you?"

Jack wouldn't stop. "Either get me my clothes or I'll leave the way I am, Kim," he told her, sounding like the dad of old Kim knew so well. She knew there was no stopping him.

"Okay," she said unhappily, and turned to the nurse. "He's stubborn," she said unnecessarily, "we can't change his mind. Can you get his clothes, please?"

Just then the doctor walked in, and he didn't waste words. "Mr. Bauer, what you're doing is stupid. Just plain stupid. You know what heart damage is. Fortunately you don't have any, yet, but you're heading there. You had symptoms this afternoon, and you're looking for trouble. Transplanted hearts aren't immune from attacks, and stress will only make it worse, put you more at risk. I won't be responsible if you insist on leaving."

"Fine, Doctor, don't be responsible," Jack said angrily while he turned his attention to the nurse, commanding her with his eyes to bring his clothes. "Just get the papers and I'll sign myself out."

Chapter 19

There was silence in the car as Chase drove Jack to CTU, with Kim fuming in the back seat. No amount of reasoning could dissuade him from going in, and Jack wouldn't have heard them talking anyway. He was concentrating on finding something, some clue, that would lead them to Lesley.

He fingered the button on his sweater absent-mindedly as he asked Chase to turn down the air-conditioning, and then he sat up straight. "The wool! The goddamn wool!"

"What?" Chase asked. "What did you say?"

"Did anyone try to trace the wool? They sent me that hand-made sweater, and then the wool they left on the bed. Maybe there's something unique about it, something we can track."

"No," Chase said slowly, his mind working. "I don't think anyone did. Wool just seemed like – wool. I'll call the Bureau, maybe there's something their lab can pick up. They'll have samples for comparison. At least it's a place to start." He wasn't merely placating Jack; it was the only original idea anyone had had all day.

As they pulled into the CTU garage Jack was still wracking his brain for other avenues to pursue, but none occurred to him. He didn't want to pin his hopes on a skein of wool.

He looked steady on his feet, if a little pale, as they walked into the building, and he and Chase went to the conference room Jack had used previously while Kim drove off to get some food. The files were still there, and they settled in. Once again, there was a pot of decaf coffee waiting. There was no way anyone was going to give Jack stimulants.

Tony came in and Chase told him about Jack's idea while Jack sat, still lost in thought. Tony immediately called Hutchins, who said he would get the FBI's lab right on trying to trace the wool. Jack was brought up to date in less than thirty seconds, for there was nothing to report other than negative news, that they still had no leads on Lesley's whereabouts, or the source of the Valium that had been put in the food.

Jack was morose when Kim entered with sandwiches, and she knew there was nothing she could do to cheer him up. Nothing would, except rescuing Lesley. Kim knew her father had fallen in love, and it was a sight she'd thought she'd never see. Jack was too mature, he'd seen and been through too much to act like a smitten puppy dog, but there was something different about him, more than just his return to mental health - my God, she had thought, how could there be more than that! - and that was because of love. She was thrilled that Lesley felt the same way about Jack, and Kim had hoped – still hoped – that they could build a life together, live out their lives together in happiness and good health.

Tony walked in then, together with Chase. Jack looked at them, trying to read their faces. "We got a picture, Jack. At least we know she's alive," Tony said without pausing.

He held it out to Jack, who saw the image of Lesley, blindfolded and painfully bound, with a copy of that morning's LA Times held in front of her. "Thank God," he whispered, but he knew that she could have been killed right after the photo was taken. Why hadn't they just put her on the phone? Why had they done it this way instead?

"How'd you get the picture, Tony? Messenger?"

"In a way, yeah," Tony responded. "There was an envelope at the east entrance to the parking lot. Our security camera picked up a kid on a skate board putting it there. They must have given him a couple of bucks to do it. It looked like it might have been a neighborhood kid. We're trying to find him now."

Jack's hopes sank a little more. If that was indeed how the Gaines women had dropped off the envelope they were being cleverly cautious by using a kid. They had been all along, so why did he think they'd act differently now? There was no reason to.

"I don't get it, Tony. Even if I knew where the money was, how am I supposed to tell them? How am I supposed to communicate with them? They have to contact me at some point, and I'm not home. I'm not even at Lesley's."

"We have people in both places, Jack, and all calls are being forwarded to CTU. Don't worry about it, we've got things covered. You have to rest, or you're going to have a heart attack. The docs were serious when they said you've got to relax."

The look in Jack's eyes told Tony that wasn't going to happen, and Kim and Chase saw it, too. The doctors had wanted to increase his sedation. The information on the monitors had them worried.

Jack knew everyone was right, that if he wanted to join in the search he had to rest. But he couldn't get his mind off the problem. Had Gaines gotten the $5 million Laura and Lucy claimed? If so, where was it? Who had it? Most important, how could he find it? Lesley's life depended on it, and he didn't have a clue where to start. It seemed no one did, and he couldn't help. His idea about tracking a piece of wool was crap, and he knew it, yet there was nothing else. He hadn't felt this helpless in more than thirty years.

Chapter 20

The lingering effects of the drugs made his mind wander, and his thoughts went back to his own days as an agent, when he had acted to protect the people in his country from attack. But they weren't thoughts of derring-do. They were memories of betrayal.